Friday, November 16, 2012

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Nov. 16)

Sorry in advance, F-heads.

World War Z
Release date: June 21, 2013

Feels a bit like I Am Legend by-way-of Roland Emmerich, no? Only a little more WTF. I don't know much about the book this [troubled] film is based on, but I know its subtle, oral-history elements are beloved by a devoted group of horror novel enthusiasts. And I'm sure they can't be pleased with this ... whatever this is. Seems like a long time to wait for a subpar product. Although I do freely admit that I respond to the military/destruction/epic scope. SUE ME. Finally, do you think Christopher Nolan gets a shiny new penny every time a trailer (or a movie, for that matter) uses his Inception-inspired musical sting? BWWAAAAAM!

The Grandmasters
Release date: TBA

Wong Kar Why you no use English subtitles? #LazyAsianJoke ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED TOPIC, will you marry me, Zhang Ziyi?

The Host
Release date: March 29, 2013

Isn't this just another variant of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers theme? Namely, extraterrestrials invade and replace human beings with duplicates that appear identical on the surface but are devoid of any emotion or individuality? I mean, yes, I get that this takes place IN THE FUTURE, but, really, feels like the same thing. WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE. Seriously. Remakes are gonna happen, and I'm fine with that. My only BEEF with this is the three times during the preview that they reference how the story is based on Stephenie Meyer's novel. Like that somehow makes it better? OR RIGHT -- I FORGOT. Idiots will see her name (or will they? They're idiots, after all) and associate it with the Twilight saga ("Haha, 'saga!'" -me). Director Andrew Niccol knows his future aesthetic, and the film looks impressive enough. Really, I just can't get past the fact that its foundation is a shitty book (haven't read it, but assume it's shitty) whose central theme is stolen from at least six other movies. Parting question: can someone please phonetically spell out the pronunciation of star Saoirse Ronan's first name in the comments below? THANKSINADVANCE!

Release date: TBA

Wait for it ... wait for it ... wait for it ... #HeavyAction

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
Release date: Aug. 23, 2013

I only have three things to say about this trailer: 1.) F that title in its stupid A. 2.) I can't wait for this wave of lustful, unrequited tween vampire/demon/zombie melodrama to end (I'm looking at you The WB), or, at least die down. These types of movies need to return to their rightful homes ... in a nerd's closet next to his 20-sided die (d20). And 3.) the director of this movie is a guy named Harald Zwart. Do yourself a favor and look at his IMDb page. What an impressive body of work! "You mean THE Agent Cody Banks?" As if there is any other.

Warm Bodies
Release date: Feb. 1, 2013

I was all set to make fun of this, especially because I watched it on the heels of some of the other fantastical trailer crap featured today (see above). But I can't! Because this looks novel and interesting and [dare I say?] delightful! Don't get me wrong, it could be a big piece of poo -- and I can easily see how it might be insufferable -- but right here/right now (there is no other place I want to be), I'm content. Well done, Warm Bodies!

21 and Over
Release date: March 1, 2013

Let's end on a light/ridiculous note. I actually hadn't even heard of this movie before YouTube forced me to watch an ad for it before one of the other trailers I was actually searching for. Nothing special/particularly hilarious here -- just your typical R-rated college comedy. I really liked how they only refer to the "Doug" character as "Jeff Chang" (one word), though. That's inspired.


  1. IMDB says that traditional Irish pronunciation of Saoirse Ronan's first name is SEER-sha, but that she calls her self SUR-sha, so take your pick, I guess. At any rate, I coincidentally just watched Hanna for the first time yesterday, and she was pretty badass, so I'm not excited for (or at least interestd in) anything that she is going to be in.

    1. I think I'm going to call her Shershner. Thanks John!

      I liked Hanna!

  2. I feel like that "JeffChang" bit is ripped off from us only calling Mark Ahn "Mark Ahn." Hollywood. They steal from everyone!

  3. I think WWZ looks like it could be pretty good, I don't get the hate.

    I'm with you on Warm Bodies, that could be a lot of fun.

    Most unnecessary title card in a trailer? 21 and Over: by the writers of The Hangover. .....Derrr, we figured that out before the card appears at the 15 second mark.

  4. "This is the FUTURE" may be the most existentially hilarious line that has ever been spoken in a movie trailer.

    Or do I mean, "that ever WILL BE spoken"? My "still human" mind = blown.