Friday, January 25, 2013

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Jan. 25)

Last weekend, I was in LA for a baby shower (THAT'S RIGHT -- I'M HAVIN' A BAY-BEE!), and I got a chance to meet this nice dude named Kevin Ford through my soon-to-be brother-in-law. Kevin is a videographer/filmmaker who worked on The Brothers Bloom, and is currently editing a documentary about Adrien Brody renovating an old, rundown castle in upstate New York (serious stuff, F-Heads). Anyway, Kevin showed me the trailer for a movie he directed titled Legs, featuring Angela Bettis (she of May and The Woman fame), and, well, because I'm always looking for ways to juice this introduction, I figured I'd share his preview here. So, enjoy! And if that doesn't float your boat, here's a new trailer for the IMAX 3D rerelease of Top Gun. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Inside Llewyn Davis
Release date: TBA

??? Brilliant? Brilliant. BRILLIANT. BRILLIANT! LOL. Next!

Red 2
Release date: Aug. 2, 2013

I mean, sure, Red was fine -- a pleasant October surprise (I just made that up, right now) in that everyone thought it would shit the bed, and then, when it didn't shit the bed, we were all like, "OK, yeah -- Red! It's not the worst!" And now there's a sequel. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. But seriously, didn't everyone forget about Red immediately after they saw it (like me)? BUTT SRSLY, this looks fine. And pleasant. Yeah, pleasant -- a great word to describe this "comfortable" action-comedy. I do think they missed an opportunity to introduce Bruce Willis' character Frank's son as his natural successor. I feel like I'm missing that beat in the preview where the son almost runs over his father, looks him in the face and says, "Dad?!" I AM KIDDING OF COURSE (barf on you, trailer for A Good Day to Die Hard). Hopefully, the inclusion of Byung-hun Lee assuages any father/son-related disappointment.

Release date: March 8, 2013

My reaction watching this trailer. Look (LOOK), I'm a sucker for war movies, specifically those centered on WWII. But this is a post-WWII film in the Pacific Theater starring Matthew Fox, who, aside from his strong jawline, IS NOT A VERY GOOD ACTOR. "We have to go back, Kate!" You see where I'm coming from? Not many people today are aware of Gen. Douglas MacArthur (DO IT, DOUG!), his accomplishments, his ultimate firing by President Truman, and his larger-than-life personality (complete with comical corncob pipe). And while MacArthur, starring Gregory Peck, is FINE, we really need an updated biopic. This probably isn't it.

Olympus Has Fallen
Release date: March 22, 2013

When a slow, lumbering prop plan with Korean War-era Gatling guns starts firing at a bulletproof fortress (and iconic symbol of American freedom) from several thousand feet away, I don't know about you guys, but I want Scotsman Gerard Butler on my side! Why? He's a law abiding citizen, chasing mavericks in search of the ugly truth! He'll be playing for keeps with 300 shooters, ultimately bringing a reign of fire on any terrorist's timeline. It'll be the game of their lives! Movie 43! Who's with me? ... all right, that was a pretty lame write-up, which only serves to illustrate that this man has made a BUNCH of HORRIBLY titled movies. Back to Olympus Has Fallen ... um, no thanks! While this is probably a perfectly serviceable (and, at times, thrilling) action movie, it just looks like GARBAGE. Bad CGI, bad pan-Asian villain, bad dialogue (e.g., "Mustang this is Big Top bringing out the Full Package," and "With all due respect, I'm the best hope you've got!"), bad everything. Think I'll wait for White House Down.

Release date: TBA

New film from director Danny Boyle, starring James McAvoy, Rosario Dawson and Vincent Cassel. What more do you want from me? What? Oh, more? OK, more ... more. Um, this looks good! I'm glad that Boyle is getting back to smaller, genre pictures. Guy's crazy talented, but I still think the post-Oscar backlash from Slumdog Millionaire hurt his rep (not to mention his odd[?] involvement with the London Olympics). And that's crazy! Dude directed A Life Less Ordinary! Have you seen A Life Less Ordinary? You haven't? You should! Right now! Lastly, there are at least seven other Trance movies on IMDb, not counting titles in which the word "Trance" appears. Let's try harder next time, shall we?

Release date: April 26, 2013

I still haven't seen Take Shelter, director Jeff Nichols' breakout movie. "What the hell's wrong with you, Doug! You recommend that WE watch A Life Less Ordinary, yet YOU can't even be bothered to watch Take Shelter?" -you. RELAX. I'm getting to it. Life: it gets in the way, you know? One of these days, for sure. Et cetera. Anyway, Mud looks great! Except for Reese Witherspoon. Reese, you were fine as June Carter Cash ("fine" is the best I can muster right now), and you were even better in Twilight (but only two parts in particular). But I'd much rather see a lesser-known, lesser-annoying actress in this role. I'm assuming QuvenzhanÈ Wallis wasn't available? Because this is kinda her wheelhouse.

The Call
Release date: March 15, 2013

The call is coming from inside Halle Berry's giant hair! This "movie" has a Cellular vibe to it, no?

The End of Love
Release date: March 1, 2013

Low-budget atmosphere, indie soundtrack, retro credits, handheld aesthetic and a hip cast (including Mark Webber, Shannyn Sossamon, Michael Cera and Aubrey Plaza) give this trailer an authentic, emotional vibe. It looks interesting, and I'm sure I'll put it in my Netflix queue in six to 14 months. Speaking of the hip cast, seeing Amanda Seyfried appear [very briefly] in this preview made me jones to see her next movie, Lovelace (pornstar biopic [FANDANGO? YES, I'D LIKE TO ORDER ALL THE TICKETS]). When the heck is that coming out?

Wrong Cops
Release date: TBA

The Sundance Film Festival, everyone! #dodougsjobforhim


  1. I like that the trailer for the The Call not only has a flashback to something that happened 30 seconds ago (bad guy says 'it's already done' or something like that) but then Halle Berry says...IT'S HIM...just in case you can't piece it all together.

  2. Really, "Olympus Has Fallen"? That's the best title they could come up with for that cheese fest? Holy crap, 2013 could be the new 2010. And I'm the biggest fan of 3D movies posting on this site (anybody want to oil wrestle me for it? Didn't think so ;-)) but "Top Gun IMAX 3D"? "Jurassic Park 3D"? That's some really nice 3D resources going to waste, no thanks.

    My new-to-me movie for today (1/25/13):

    The directing debut of the 'IT' guy of the moment, J.J. Abrams' MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III (2006) on HD-DVD:

    My 7-word review: 'Hair stylist, Keri? Yeah, right. Now boom!'

  3. "The End of Love" kinda looks like a follow-up to "Shrink," minus Kevin Spacey.