A Talking Cat!?!
Release date: Feb. 18, 2013 (DVD Premiere)
Watch this. Right now. Seriously. Don't read the other write-ups, and don't think to yourself, "Oh, I'll watch it later when I get home from work/school/jury duty" (because you'll probably forget). Do. It. NOW. And then thank me in the comments.
Release date: Aug. 9, 2013
Aug. 9, 2013: the date that Pixar will no longer be relevant. Or did that already happen in 2011 when Cars 2 was released?
Release date: May 10, 2013
There's only one half-second long clip in this ENTIRE preview that's worthwhile (not counting DAG's impeccably timed line deliveries), and it takes place at 1:57. Go ahead, watch it -- I'll wait ... RIGHT?! Otherwise, BARF on you, Peeples. #IAmNotARacist SERIOUS QUESTION: can you "use" the image of Kerry Washington's bare chest in Django Unchained, or is the context too sad/depressing/miserable/despicable? Me? I think I'm fine with it. #IAmDEFINITELYNotARacist You? #YouMightBeARacist
Release date: July 19, 2013
I'm probably alone on this, but HOLY CRAP. I was all set to make fun of this movie, what with its retro vibe, paranormal subject matter and its director, James Wan (he of Saw and Insidious fame, movies that [full disclosure] I haven't [yet?] seen) being, you know ... kinda douchy. But, it's got a great cast (Lili Taylor, Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga and Ron Livingston, to name a few), and the preview legit creeped me out. HOWEVER, I'm probably the only one here at F This Movie! who actually likes "ghost stories," so what can I say? The atmosphere, pacing, mood, etc., just worked for me.
Release date: TBA
Jamie Chung's character Nima from Premium Rush was the worst, right? What? No one saw Premium Rush? OK, then ... never mind. Remember her character Amber from Sucker Punch? Well, Eden is basically Sucker Punch, minus all the fantastical stuff that made Sucker Punch, you know ... INTERESTING. Listen, I know this film won the "Audience Award" at last year's SXSW Film Festival (and that's great), but, really, without the words "Exit To" in front of the title, I'm just not that interested. NEXT.
Release date: April 23, 2013
This has a Butter vibe to it, which means it's not my cup of tea. Really? Jump rope competitions? Wacky family members? Holding your parents hostage in order to teach them etiquette? To quote the great Oscar winner Adele, "NO FANKS."
Release date: TBA
Sorry to close out a pretty crappy week of trailers with [surprise!] a pretty crappy trailer. Aaron Eckhart stars as Liam Neeson's understudy in a spy thriller about a guy running away from other guys with guns trying to kill him and his daughter. Also, Olga Kurylenko. SEE YA NEXT WEEK!