Friday, April 26, 2013

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (April 26)

Ladies and germs, your GIF of the week (remember that lame idea?)!

Tiger Eyes
Release date: June 7, 2013

I'm featuring this trailer because the movie is based on a novel by Judy Blume. However, I've never heard of Tiger Eyes, and, honestly, if a Judy Blume film adaptation doesn't have the words "Super" and "Fudge" in the title, I'm probably not interested.

Hatchet III
Release date: June 14, 2013

Just a quick note before you line up outside your neighborhood Redbox -- newcomer BJ McDonnell directed this film, and Adam Green (he directed the first two) is merely "presenting" it (whatever that means). Not saying that it will be any less awesome because of Green's distance, just a friendly heads-up. Because, let's not beat around the bush, we're all gonna watch the crap out of this come #ScaryMovieMonth regardless of who shouted "Action Kane Hodder!"

No One Lives
Release date: May 10, 2013

What?! Two horror previewz in a row?! I do what I can. This is a red band trailer (for violence), so make sure your one-month-old daughter is out of the room before you watch it. I think the title of this movie is just great, and who doesn't love director Ryƻhei Kitamura? Sure, he directed The Midnight Meat Train, but did you also know he directed Sky High? The guy has RANGE, is what I'm saying. [Doug, different Sky High -Patrick]

Man of Tai Chi
Release date: TBA

This is Keanu Reeves directorial debut. And it's brought to us by the YouTube channel "KeanuWorld." And it appears to be in three different languages. Yeah, that's pretty much all you need to know. "I know Tai Chi" -Meow from The Matricks

Thor: The Dark World
Release date: Nov. 8, 2013

Well, here it is. And I'm sure you've all already seen it (hence why it's not at the very top). I recently rewatched The Avengers -- you guys, it's pretty good! ListenListenListen ... in theory, I'm a "fan" of the "idea" of Chris Hemsworth playing the title role. He's got the right look and the otherworldly thing down. And I absolutely love this line reading he gives in Star Trek (but probably for all the wrong reasons). I know I'm going to catch flak for this, but I ALSO think he's ... kind of a bad actor? Yes, I agree that he was THE SHOW in the first Thor -- he was charming and really embodied his character's arc, but when acting opposite Robert Downey Jr. and a surprisingly (not surprisingly) awesome Mark Ruffalo, guy just seemed cartoonish. So, yeah -- I'm not nearly as excited about this trailer as I would be for, say, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but maybe it's just me. "When do we start?" = normal things Gods say.

Ratchet & Clank
Release date: 2015

This is the first time I've seen something like this: a teaser for the introduction of a concept of a movie, to be released in 2015. Look, we're not even halfway through 2013 yet, but what does that matter? Let's skip right over 2014, and start getting excited for some hacky, Pixar-derivative kiddie movie, shall we? VERY optimistic, Sony Computer Entertainment. I never played the game this property is based on, and I imagine there must be some fervent, groundswell support to get this project off the ground. Reveal yourselves, nerds! I have a wedgie for you!

Dirty Wars
Release date: June 7, 2013


Ooga Booga
Release date: May 21, 2013 (DVD premiere)

If you're one of those COMPLETELY NORMAL people who opens up these posts and reads them from the bottom-up, you can stop right now, because nothing will be better than this trailer for Ooga Booga. #dodougsjobforhim


  1. *reveals himself*

    Okay, okay, okay. In theory, I should be excited for a Ratchet and Clank movie. It's a decent to great video game series I played in my youth. HOWEVER, as we all know, movies based on videogames are NEVER good. I can say that with confidence. What's more, that preview looks really stupid. Boo.

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  3. 1. Adam Green wrote the screenplay for "Hatchet III", so that puts more stock then a "Wes Craven Presents" or a "Quentin Tarantino Presents".

    2. I'm more of the thought that Thor was the odd man out, character development-wise in "The Avengers". I blame the script more than Hemsworth's performance.

    3. In theory a "Ratchet & Clank" movie sounds pretty cool. But I'm with John that all video game movie adaptations are never good. I haven't played a "Ratchet & Clank" game since "Deadlocked" but really enjoyed the humor of the games.

    *Reluctantly braces himself for a wedgie*

  4. "2. I'm more of the thought that Thor was the odd man out, character development-wise in "The Avengers". I blame the script more than Hemsworth's performance."

    Seconded. Someone must think the guy has something since they're doing a sequel of "Snow White and The Huntsman" with only the Huntsman. Still don't know how Abrams chose Pine over Hemsworth for Kirk.

  5. The cheap and disposable movies of one generation always seem to inspire the best and brightest of a few generations later.

    Is this what we are offering them? Ooga Booga?

    1. What? They made a movie out of the mask in "Crash Bandicoot"? And they're definitely doing one for "Ratchet & Clank"? Why, I ought to-- :-P