Sunday, June 30, 2013

Junesploitation Day 30: Post-Apocalpyse!

In the 21st century, there will be a new endangered species: man!

After 30 days, Junesploitation is over. AND SO IS THE WORLD.


  1. Escape from L.A. (1996)

    This might be a bit of a stretch, since for most of the film it’s only L.A. that’s “post-apocalyptic.” But the movie has so many of the tropes that I think it fits well enough. The first Escape film worked hard to make its outlandish premise halfway plausible. This one mostly chucks that approach and embraces its ridiculousness with something approaching glee. I still think that Escape from New York is a superior film, but this one has such a goofy charm it’s impossible to dislike. The scene with the plastic surgery addicts is funny and creepy at the same time. The music score is great. Most importantly, the movie has Snake Plissken – the very definition of an antihero. Kurt Russell is, of course, awesome. Whattaya say we play a little Bangkok rules?

  2. 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982)

    The Bronx is the no mans land in postapocolyptic New York, and a ridiculously wooden actor (seriously, worst one this whole month) needs to trek through the sewers to find Fred "Hammer" Williamson and do battle with 80s futuristic style gangs, while being hunted by a guy named Hammer (not Fred "Hammer" Williamson).

    Very bad acting, every second actor speaks Italian and has their voices dubbed while the other actors speak English and still have their voices dubbed. So you can play "catch the lipsync" without having ADR be a give away.
    I wouldn't recommend it, but now when the next person says to me "Hey, have you seen 1990: The Bronx Warriors?", I can hold my head high and say "Yes! Yes, I have!"


  3. Damnation Alley (1977)

    In 1977 20th Century Fox released two science fiction films, one was directed by a seasoned pro with a great track record, the other one had a walking carpet, guess which one this is. Yep this one is all about world destruction, heck the Earth is knocked off its axis by nukes in the first 15 minutes and the sky looks like a constant Pink Floyd Laserdome show. Overall this movie is kind of meh save for a couple of crazy deaths I won't spoil here and one of the coolest vehicles I've seen in a while the Landmaster, a 12 wheel all terrain missile carrying car that I would have loved to drive up to my senior prom in.

    This is the type of movie they need to remake, its got an interesting premise and wouldn't be beholden to certain sacred characters or lines. This was a nice way to end Junesploitation and I can't thank Patrick and the F this movie gang enough for their netflix suggestions and creating a fun and varied board of movies to surf through the month, I feel like I just scratched the surface. Now just 90 days til scary movie month:)

    1. I remember falling in love with the Landmaster when I was a kid. I tried my best to build one out of Legos, with (extremely) limited success.

  4. Richard Kelly's SOUTHLAND TALES (2006) on Blu-ray for the first time.

    'This is how Junesploitation ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper.' :-)

    Like "Magnolia" on crack cocaine and with a cast acting as if each of them is the lead in their own movie (that many of them are late night TV comedians adds a further layer of incongruity... WTFSPLOITATION!), Richard Kelly's laundry list of post-Iraq Invasion pet peeves (reality TV, NSA spying on citizens, California laid-back culture, etc.) is an angry shout of artistic expression by a writer/director whose compass points everywhere and nowhere. Haven't seen "Donnie Darko" yet, and "Southland Tales" might keep it that way. It's not that I hated this movie as much as I don't know what to make of it, which I think was Kelly's intent all along. Patrick respects (likes?) "Southland Tales," but this is definitely a unique and batshit take on the end of the world that those of us not in Kelly's wavelength (i.e. 95% of the world) have to struggle just to wrap our minds around it.

    I mean, Bush-Cheney running again in 2008 with a good shot at winning California's 55 electoral votes is already post-apocalyptic enough. But an emasculated Dwayne Johnson and Seann William Scott(s) as the "saviors" that are key to the end of times? Justin Timberlake reading from the book of Revelations (deep!) and starring in a music-video-of-the-mind while high on drugs? "SNL's" Cheri Oteri and Jon Lovitz as bad-asses? CGI cars humping? Kevin Smith and Janeane Garofalo unrecognizable under tons of make-up? Christopher Lambert as an arms-dealing ice cream truck driver? To his credit Kelly manages to link of these disparate elements together AND he shows Eli Roth getting killed while taking a dump in a toilet, so it's not a total loss.

    And, it's over. I'm spent!

  5. Doomsday (2008)

    This was the perfect choice for the last day, because it covers a lot of the bases: its post-apocalyptic, but it also has a badass chick, an insane car chase, prison, zombies (sort of), sci-fi and even turns into a sword and sandal movie in one sequence. Neil Marshall didn't want to just make an exploitation movie, he wanted to make EVERY exploitation movie. Even the font is stolen from John Carpenter. Every time I watch this movie, I want to like it more than I do -- it pays tribute to so many movies and genres I love, but the whole is never greater than the sum of its parts. It's not a bad two hours, but it could have been a new classic.

    Still a good way to close out the month.

  6. Whoo, I did it! All 30 days! What prize do I get?

    A BOY AND HIS DOG. Knowing this one has a reputation for being crazy, I’d hoped to go out on a high note. (Anticipation-sploitation!) Sadly, it’s just dull. After World War 4, Don Johnson and his telepathic dog roam the wasteland. There are no women in this post-apoc, and all Johnson wants is to find one to satisfy his, er, Johnson. (Bonersploitation!) The movie thinks it’s smarter than it is, loading its final act with all kinds of funky symbolism, depicting what’s really wrong with the world, etc. HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN did it better (There’s-a-phrase-I-never-thought-I’d-writesploitation!) by not taking itself so seriously. I totally understand why the movie’s ending has been controversial over the years, but I’ll admit it made me laugh. (Lowbrow-sploitation!)

    Anyhoo, thanks to F This Movie for Junesploitation-sploitation. It’s been a lot of funsploitation. I can’t stop saying “sploitation.”

    1. Hat's off to you mate. Will done for doing all 30 days.

    2. I managed to do it days (skipped Samurari/Ninja Day and the 2nd Free Space), what prize is there for 2nd place? :-)

    3. You know... I only skipped a free space second place to me? Hahahaha! Kidding! (I'm not)

  7. The Last Man On Earth (1964)

    Vincent Price faces off against a world overrun by vampires in the first film adaptation (of three so far) of Richard Matheson's I Am Legend. Price is very good in the lead, and the movie as a whole is pretty solid, though the scope feels very small despite the world-encompassing title.

    It's nice to end Junesploitation on a high note, I've really enjoyed the challenge (again) of trying to find time for a movie every day. It's been great reading everyone's reviews, and there are probably enough movies that you've all made me want to see to hold me through whatever next June may bring. Thanks Patrick & co!

  8. Tank Girl (1995)

    Lori Petty is really the only thing that works in this movie. Everyone else just looks super embarrassed to be in it, especially Ice-T and Naomi Watts. That being said, I loved the crap out of this movie. This is one of my favorite genres and I was super excited to end the month on it.

    This month has been a blast!

    I can't wait to go back over everyone's reviews and pick out some movies to watch that I never would have found on my own.

  9. Junesploitation: The Autopsy (2013)

    Well it's over and I can't believe we did it. When I first read that there was gonna be a whole month dedicated to Junesploitation I was excited and told myself "I am going to do every single day and every movie will be a new one. no repeats" and whether it be working at Disney World, surfing Youtube, Netflixing, or even Epix I caught my Junesploitation movie a day. So it was cool to finish what I thought would be Mission Impossible (ghost protesploitation?).

    I just wanted to say thanks again and wanted to throw out a few of my favorites, and a handful of my least favs

    Top 3

    3. Death Warrant 1990- JCVD vs The Sandman, great prison fight with lots of colorful characters.
    2. Rock N Roll High School-goofy fun with random humor, always a delight.
    1. Death Wish III-Can't believe how much this one has stuck to me. I still hear Patrick quoting "He got the giggler" from earlier post.

    Bottom 3

    1. Friday the 13th Part V: This one is just too mean spirited and the "twist" in the film is really lame, only thing keeping this one from the very bottom was the ladies :)

    2. The Evil that Men Do- This one just doesn't have that Bronson charm, one decent scene at the end doesn't save it. Oh well Bronson is at the top of my other list

    3. Zombie Lake-this movie is horrible everything. The music, acting, cinematography, basic film techniques (the cameraman is in the mirror!) I say this with no sarcasm whatsoever this is the worst zombie movie I have ever seen, someone please eternal sunshine of the spotless mind me right now.

    Anyway thanks again F this movie crew and can't wait for Scary Movie Month!

  10. Dredd (2012)

    More like, "The Raid: Dredd-emption," amIright?

    1. Doug will be here all week tip your waitresses