Friday, August 16, 2013

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Aug. 16)

Kind of a down week for trailerz. I know -- I'm just as surprised as you! Because trailerz are the best! Who has two thumbs and loves trailerz? Hint: THIS GUY (my thumbs are pointing to my chest).
Trailerz: it's what's for dinner!

Don Jon
Release date: Sept. 27, 2013

Kind of a garbage trailer. Here's a longer preview from back in May, and it's way better. PR0N. This is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's first (non-short) effort as a writer/director. And it looks ... weird? Fine? Interesting, sure. But also, STAHP. Stop trying so hard, JGL. You're a small man who got famous playing a dweeby alien on network TV. You love show tunes and dancing. You're not a snarling tough guy (and your exaggerated gestures are the worst). We already have grownups (like Mark Wahlberg [GOOD VIBRATIONS] and Jason Statham) who do it better. Also, ScarJo's accent is headed right for the Chrysler Building.

Birth of the Living Dead
Release date: TBA

Night of the Living Dead is my favorite horror movie. This is a documentary about how it got made. Now, regardless of which you think is better, the original or Dawn of the Dead (1978) -- and strong arguments could be (and HAVE been [on this site!]) made for both -- there's no denying the impact George Romero's first movie had on a generation of filmmakers, regardless of his diminishing returns as a storyteller.

Release date: Sept. 20, 2013

This is the first (and only) movie adapted from a David Sedaris book, which makes it notable. But it's also directed by and stars a bunch of people I've never heard before. Then again, David Sedaris. So, you know ... NOTABLE! Also, wouldn't Child of God (or, at least, Capable of Genocide) be a better title? C.O.G. sounds like a remake of K-PAX. Oops -- just IMDb'd Child of God, and turns out it's an upcoming movie directed by the great Professor James Edward Franco. So, ya burnt, C.O.G. (and K-PAX)!

300: Rise of an Empire
Release date: March 7, 2014

As the great film historian Patrick Langhorne Bromley once wrote, "Hollywood makes a lot of sequels. Just not the right sequels ... How come we get another [300] movie but we can't get a second Galaxy Quest?" How come, indeed.

The Wind Rises (Kaze tachinu)
Release date: TBA

True story: I once got yelled at by an Asian friend of mine for unintentionally stressing the "Jap" part of "Japanimation" (I pretty much said it as two separate words, because eracism). I didn't know any better! I still don't! Because this preview (brace yourselves: it's over four minutes long), while beautiful and intricate and [at times] moving, is also ... not for me. CALM DOWN, Anime-niacs! I can appreciate art, but this was zany to the max. And those are the facts (while Bill Clinton plays the sax).

How I Live Now
Release date: TBA

Hanna! This preview's all over the place, and ... I kind of love it? Part coming-of-age romance, part post-apocalyptic survival story, How I Live Now is directed by Kevin Macdonald, the same dude who made The Last King of Scotland. But forget about that movie (because, while acclaimed, nobody saw it). He ALSO directed The Eagle. Which is making me rethink EVERYTHING. #Eagle

Vampire Academy: Blood Sisters
Release date: Feb. 14, 2014

A vampire movie? Starring teenagers? Now I've seen everything. #dodougsjobforhim


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I dig that trailer for How I Live Now. And I dig Ms. Ronan. I am officially interested in that movie.

  3. That is a sweet trailer for How I Live Now, definitely different. As for Vampire Academy ugh we get it your sluts look you aren't going to pull in twilight level bucks its over.

    Some other suggestions for Trailers catchphrases

    Trailers-You cant just watch one
    Trailers- We'll leave the light on for you
    Trailers-They just keep going and going
    Trailers- 40% more entertaining than the leading brand
    and finally

    Trailers-May cause Anal leakage