Friday, August 30, 2013

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (August 30)

By now, we've all heard that Benjamin Geza Affleck has been cast as the new Batman (in a crazy 13-movie deal?). Here's a fan-made trailer for the upcoming (2015!) Batman vs. Superman film, which the whole internet is going [wait for it] batshit crazy over. I am less impressed. What do you think?

Blue Is the Warmest Color (La vie d'Adële)
Release date: Oct. 25, 2013

ENGLISH! This won the 2013 Palm Door at Can. And it stars Lèa Seydoux, the female villain from Ghost Protes. It shocked many critics with its long, graphic sex scenes. Also, Lèa Seydoux. So ... un, s'il vous plaît! Also, there's one NSFW clip in the trailer (it's a NIPPLE, you puritan), so, you know ... you've been warned. Hmmm ... maybe I should move this disclaimer to the beginning of my write-up...

Release date: March 21, 2014

"Don't try and define me!" -Shailene Woodley. "Talkin' 'bout my generation!" -Mary Jane Watson. "With great strength comes great responsibility" -Beatrice Prior.

Dallas Buyers Club
Release date: Nov. 1, 2013

AHHHHHH-lright, AHHHHHH-lright, AHHHHHH-lright! I'm all for actors throwing themselves in their roles (I guess? Honestly, before writing that sentence, I don't think I ever even thought about it), and the physical transformations of De Niro in Raging Bull and Hanks in Cast Away (we're on a friendly last-name-only basis) are pretty astounding. But Matthew McConaughey looks SO SKINNY IN THIS! And, ergo, he looks SCARY! But let's not forget Jared Leto. YES! Thirty Seconds to Garbage Music's very own front man! He plays the drag queen! WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS? Between this, Magic Mike and Mud, McConaughey is straight up killing it.

The Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete
Release date: Oct. 11, 2013

Good thing Obama cured this country of racism! Otherwise, this preview would've depressed the shit out of me!

The Turning
Release date: TBA

Pretty slow week for trailers, this week is, as you can guess by the trailers I'm featuring this week. Um, hello? "Great Sentences of the Year" subcommittee? I'd like to nominate the first sentence of this paragraph for one of your most prestigious awards. Yes, I'll hold. LOOK: this is a weird-looking Australian film starring the pretty-looking Rose Byrne. I'm choosing to feature it because GODDAMN that's a nice song. "Other Friends Have Flown Before" by The Tiger & Me. You're welcome.

Child of God
Release date: TBA

I'd rather see C.O.G. #dodougsjobforhim

1 comment:

  1. I think that fan-made Batman/Superman trailer is likely highly representative of what Snyder will ultimately produce, and I have no interest in it whatsoever. Bring on more Avengers and make mine Marvel!