Friday, August 9, 2013

Watchin' Trailerz wtih Doug (Aug. 9)

Is anyone going to see Planes today? Anyone? Charlie?

The Monuments Men
Release date: Dec. 18, 2013

Trailer: be better! It's well documented on this site that I like all things double-you double-you eye-eye. AND, pretty much every red-blooded American loves Matt Damon, John Goodman and Bill Murray (also, I'd be lying if I said I didn't pine for The Talented Mr. Ripley-era [er, ah] Cate Blanchett). I guess I just had higher expectations for this first preview. Don't get me wrong -- America rulez and Nazis droolz. But George Clooney's directing record is pretty 50/50 -- Good Night, and Good Luck and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind are pretty great, while Leatherheads and The Ides of March ... notsomuch. I mean, Leatherheads is downright awful. I'm not worried -- something tells me that handsome millionaire playboy George Clooney will come out of this all right.

The Counselor
Release date: Oct. 25, 2013

Despite the derivative Savages/Traffic vibe, I like this trailer! Mostly because I can't quite tell what the heck's going on (aside from all the wargasms). And, in this day-and-age of "over showing," this preview's ambiguity won me over. This is the first original screenplay by Cormac McCarthy, and Ridley Scott's first film since the untimely passing of his brother, Tony. So, GOOD LUCK. My only beef: the cast seems pretty thin. GET A BETTER CAST! Maybe some A-list stars? A celebrity or two? WORK HARDER AT HONORING YOUR BROTHER! Jeez. And I'd like to point out that I went through this whole write-up without once mentioning Javier Bardem's ridiculous hair. I WIN!

Release date: Nov. 20, 2013

[Let's ignore the HARRIBLE title for a moment, shall we?] Yes! This! F everything else -- this is the best trailer this week. And, uh, question: when did Joaquin Phoenix become, like, Sam Rockwell-level awesome? Seriously, one of the best actors working right now (with a Selleck-worthy 'stache). And I used to hate the guy! Well, that's a bit strong. It's just ... did anyone like him in Gladiator? Such a cartoon character. And now, THIS! Directed by Spike Jonze, as if you needed another reason to see it. But you don't. You're in. Because like minds. Final thought: interesting choice to make Scarlett Johansson the voice of the OS. The hackee has become the hacker? Private message me if you have no idea what I'm talking about (I'll supply the pics).

Release date: Oct. 18, 2013

I mean, sure, it would be easy to make fun of this trailer. Because it doesn't look very good! But whatever. Contrary to popular belief, Diablo Cody's not the worst (neither is Russell Brand), and there were some OK(?) things in the preview. So, yeah, whatever. EXCEPT that sequence on Fremont Street. Because downtown Las Vegas is an ashtray full of armpits. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, MOVIE!

Release date: TBA

What a shit trailer. Let's hope it's being ... ironic? I like rock history (and Hans Gruber/Severus Snape) enough to say, ah, F it -- I'm in. But, really? The early '90s called (with the premise for this joke) -- they want their preview back. Also, RIP punk music.

Muppets Most Wanted
Release date: March 21, 2014

Good thing this is just a teaser and NOT the official trailer, because YEEESH. Garbage. I'm not even a big fan of the Muppets, but I still know that any film featuring these beloved characters should NOT include "Moves Like Jagger."

Enough Said
Release date: Sept. 20, 2013

Charming. Light-hearted. Silly. And yet I can't help but feel very sad watching this. Yes, obviously, James Gandolfini was the best as Tony Soprano. But it's roles like this (cast perfectly, in my opinion, opposite an always funny/sexy Julia Louis-Dreyfus [who is worth $3 BILLION[!] dollars, thanks to her father's fortune as chairman of the Louis Dreyfus Energy Services]) that really demonstrate how human, capable, tender and talented he was. I feel bad for director Nicole Holofcener, as I'm sure most casual viewers will have the same melancholy reaction to this romantic comedy. And that's a shame, because the movie looks cute.

Release date: TBA

What did Princess Diana suffer from at the time of her tragic death? Carpool tunnel syndrome.


  1. "Monuments Men" is a really interesting story. I've been reading the book for a while and that's only because I've been derailed by lame things like baby books. Also it has Bill Murray. So it will probably be good. That's all the assurance you need right?

    1. I've heard the book is great, and I'm sure the movie will be great too! I just got a Men Who Stare at Goats vibe from this first trailer.

  2. Oh, Naomi. Really?

    The Counselor intrigues me (and nice a-list joke there, Doug).

    1. ^ It's the prequel to "The Queen" British royalty nerds have been clamoring for! (And no one else...)

      Also, really not feeling the "Her" trailer myself. Whoopee, another really rich yet mopey white dude with a manic pixie dream girl. Except it's a computer! Awesome? Uh... no. Sorry. :P

  3. Good list of trailers this week Doug, man Spike Jonze really likes his strange romance movies. I haven't loved all of his movies but even that I left the movie thinking. I am also hoping that the muppets is just suffering from BTS (bad trailer syndrome) as they have most of the same crew behind this movie as they did the last one which I really liked.

    1. > "Spike Jonze really likes his strange romance movies"

      Not unlike the short I'm Here, a tale of robot love -- sorry, "artificial persons."

  4. Some great trailerz this week, Doug - Her which is terribly named, but does look like it could be great - thanks for pointing it out, I might have missed it otherwise.

    Enough Said also looks like it might be really good - I sure hope so because I'd love to see James Gandolfini go out on high note.