Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Riske Business: Songs From Movies That I Love but Probably Shouldn't (Vol. 2)
Read Volume One here!
Song: “X Gon’ Give It 2 Ya”
From: Cradle 2 The Grave (2003)
This song has such a dope beat. It’s way too good for a movie as underwhelming as Cradle 2 The Grave. “X Gon’ Give It 2 Ya” should be in something like a Fast and Furious movie. If that happened, the roof might blow off of the theater. On the insurance claim, the reason for damages would read “WOOOOOHHHH!” My favorite rhyme in the song is the completely crazy “I’ve been doing this for 19 years. ****** want to fight me, fight these tears!” That’s an interesting fight strategy. Think about it -- it would be embarrassing to fight someone who is crying. You would feel way worse about yourself when you are continuously punching a crying man. You’d be like “C’mon yo…you know what this is. Man up, homey.” Then you would have to give the guy Band-Aids and drive him home which would ruin your Sunday afternoon.
Song: “Independent Love Song"
From: Bed of Roses (1996)
If for no other reason, I love that You Tube exists so someone could take the time to make a Bed of Roses fan video to Scarlet’s "Independent Love Song." This video is absolutely nuts. I mean that as a compliment. The song itself reaches its apex of awesomeness at 1:06 (Whenever that part plays? 11 babies being conceived!). It makes me want to run through a sun-drenched meadow into the arms of the future Mrs. Riske. Huge props to bubbleeQ for his/her work between 3:14-3:45 of this video, where he/she elected to drop out the sound. You really feel the moment. Then Scarlet comes roaring back 31 seconds later….
Song: "The Train is Coming"
Artist: Shaggy Featuring Ken Booth
From: Money Train (1995)
This is by far the best thing to come out of the debacle that was the seemingly can’t-miss Money Train. The potential was there. Just re-watching this video, I'm reminded of how awesome Money Train looks when you cut it up into one second clips. How did they screw this movie up? I sincerely hope Shaggs & KB (who can’t dance) are not currently living in train tunnels. I haven’t heard from either in a while. Why didn’t they have a song in Training Day? Or How to Train Your Dragon? Or The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3? Unstoppable?...
Song: “The Glory of Love”
Artist: Peter Cetera
From: The Karate Kid Part II (1986)
Not often when visiting a dojo do you hear the voice of an angel. But that is just what happened back in ’86 when Peter Cetera (who gets a few too many Green Goblin close-ups) stopped by to shoot “The Glory of Love” music video. This song makes me want to have something bad (but not too bad) happen to my woman, just so I can be the man who will fight for her honor. I just want to be the hero that she’s dreaming of. Also, gotta love ‘Cetera Hands’ starting from about 2:42. This song is so moving it flows out of his fingertips. Kid can set fire to the rain. He is the last airbender.
Song: “Neutron Dance”
Artist: The Pointer Sisters
From: Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
You know how we’ve been bitching about today’s rude modern theater audiences? Well, according to this historical document it was even harder to see a movie in peace and quiet back in 1984. On top of this song being super fun and just plain SHOWTIME, the video is incredible. It begins with the MOST IMPORTANT SCREENING of Beverly Hills Cop ever, and then shows The Pointer Sisters screwing around with 35mm film (they care nothing for preservation) before they decide to do a Rocky Horror-esque shadow cast of Beverly Hills Cop for the audience. This song almost bests the "Proton Dance."
Song: “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car”
Artist: Billy Ocean
From: License to Drive (1988)
I love this video! It has the power to change lives. First, Billy Ocean accosts a car wash employee to get into his ride. Then he torments ME for a good 30 seconds as he slowly enters the car wash WITH THE TOP STILL DOWN. Finally, he goes through the wash. And what happens? Animated fish and a cartoon duck with a boom box, that’s what. The best part of the song is at 3:46 in when Billy sings “Get outta my, Get outta my” BOOM BOOM “Get outta my dreams!” It makes my heart skip a beat. Nothing the Beatles ever did can top this moment.
Song: "Tomorrow Never Dies"
Artist: Sheryl Crow
From: Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
I just think this is a great song that people crap on way too much. I’m not saying it’s the best Bond theme, but since it’s all subjective anyway, it’s my favorite Bond theme. I like Sheryl Crow, I like that she’s basically crying her way through the chorus, I like that it sounds great in my eardrums. Also underrated is “The Living Daylights” by A-Ha.
Song: “Kung Fu"
From: Rumble in the Bronx (1996)
Better known by me as "the Jackie Chan song," Ash’s “Kung Fu” is so joyous that I can’t help but want to listen to it 10x in a row each time I hear it. Sure, it’s a very silly song but I love how it played over the end credits stunt reel in Rumble in the Bronx, which was Chan’s big "let’s make him a star" rollout in the U.S. It sums up perfectly what is special about him – his physical abilities and his infectious good spirit. Jackie Chan! Uh Uh Uh Uh OH OH!
Song: “Blowin Me Up (With Her Love)”
Artist: JC Chasez
From: Drumline (2002)
Remember when JC Chasez was cool? Yeah, me neither. He always looked like a reject kid from Step by Step to me. Anyways, he hitched his solo career on Nick Cannon’s back and dropped this jam into Drumline. Pretty good. I think it’s funny that he’s macking on Tara Reid (she’s dressed like "Dances with Biggs") because it proves Chasez cannot see the future. And props go to whoever decided to include clips of Uhura doing her sorority step dance routine. How many band geeks do you think lost their minds at 2:37 when Chasez brings in the marching band? Quick aside, I was at a football game in college and heard one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my life between a heckler and someone in the marching band. The band finished a song and this drunk asshole yells “YEAH! Play that trumpet!” and the band member turns around and yells “It’s a Sousaphone, dick!”
Artist: Lindsay Lohan
From: Freaky Friday (2003)
I miss the old Lindsay. I hope she has a comeback. Watching this video makes me think of many things – 1) She was adorable back then and look how much fun she’s having; 2) The song kicks ass; 3) That goth ho on guitar needs to raise her strap back on her shoulder. She’s at a wedding! And 4) Mark Harmon and Jamie Lee Curtis have the same haircut. It’s like they’re marrying themselves.
What are some more songs from movies that you love but have been too embarrassed to admit to anyone?