Friday, April 11, 2014
Growing Up Nerdy
I find myself attracted to some of the women in comics. Is there something wrong with me?
-Toony in Topeka
Mike: While I’m no longer digging on the ladies in comic books, there was a time when 13-year old Mike would have dropped out of school and married Psylocke if she asked me to. SPOILERS: She never did.
When we were kids, Adam had a Jim Lee-drawn X-Men poster hanging in his room of the X-Men around a pool chilling out in their bathing suits. Psylocke is in the foreground sunbathing and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. At that point in my life I relied on Shannon Tweed and Cinemax to help me sort out these weird feelings I was having, but Psylocke definitely joined them along the way. She was my X-Woman and I wanted to be her X-Man. Sorry, Jean Grey, but you can hardly blame Cyclops for being…distracted by her.
I’d totally see that.
When I was in my middle school, my developmental years, Jim Lee drew the entire set of X-Men cards. Every single mutant, on little cards, in packs of about 6-10, I can’t remember exactly. However I do believe I asked the card of the White Queen to marry me several times.
Hot women in comics is something that has been going on from the beginning. Hell, look at Wonder Woman. She comes from an island of all women, has a magic lasso that she ties you up with and falls in love with the first guy to crash land into her island! Comic artists and writers know their audience so very well, because most of them used to be among them. If an artist can make a good-looking girl a constant in comics, he or she has got a meal ticket for life.
The fantasy of a perfect woman stretches all through comics, to television and into the movies. Who here didn’t have a crush on Jessica Rabbit? If you’re not raising your hand, you’re a liar! It’s all done in the name of artistic fantasy. This perfect woman that doesn’t really exist, because in a lot of cases (especially with Jessica Rabbit) they’d have some severe health trouble. So don’t feel bad about finding them attractive; it’s not Jessica’s fault, she’s just draw that way. Just please grow out of it, because eventually it gets creepy.
Congrats on both of you making People Magazine's list of sexiest men! My son is 6 years old and wants to start reading comic books. Is there a good place to start?
-Beth in Michigan
Mike: As much as your son may want to jump right into Batman or Spider-Man books, I would be careful which ones he actually picks up. The regular ongoing Batman, for example, is NOT for kids. I know when I was little I went right for Detective Comics and Batman, but even then they were likely a little too adult for me. Now that’s even more so the case. A lot of the ongoing series are geared towards an older audience. I have two little girls that have shown an interest in comic books and the super heroes they know, but I’ve had to steer them away from most major titles on the racks.
There is a solution to this! Most comic books stores have a kids' section and it’s usually filled with titles like My Little Pony, Mickey Mouse or SpongeBob. Marvel and DC also publish kid-friendly super hero books starring everyone from Superman and Batman to Spider-Man and the Avengers.
I also highly recommend Archie comics. They were a staple of my childhood. My mom would buy me Archie Digests at the local supermarket every week and I’d read a different Archie story every night before bed. They’re a great introduction to the world of comic books.
In a fairly recent Batman story, The Joker gets his face cut off by the Dollmaker! Yep, you heard me right. Face. Cut-off. Then hangs it on the wall.
Are you guys wrestling fans? Thoughts on the passing of The Ultimate Warrior?
-Bryan in Green Bay
Mike: To be honest, I’m taking the news of The Ultimate Warrior’s (Jim Hellwig) passing a little harder than I thought I would. While I’m currently a casual pro wrestling fan at best, there was a time when I was a kid that I lived and breathed wrestling. I loved Randy “Macho Man” Savage, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, The Road Warriors, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Demolition...the list goes on. My favorite wrestler when I was little, however, was The Ultimate Warrior.
The Ultimate Warrior embodied everything 12-year-old Mike could want in a WWE (then WWF) wrestler. He was a MONSTER, so ripped that he looked like a comic book super hero. His long blond hair and kick-ass face make-up were the coolest things I had ever seen. His colors were bright and his energy was non-stop. He was a force and so damn fun to watch.
Eventually, The Ultimate Warrior was out of wrestling and so was I. The troubles Warrior had outside the ring are well documented, so I won’t get into them here. Needless to say things went down hill pretty quickly. Some years later, I briefly got back into pro wrestling thanks to the “Attitude Era” (era) and guys like Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock. And while the wrestlers today are much better in the ring and on the microphone than most wrestlers of the past, I’ve never felt the excitement and wonder with this new batch of wrestlers like I did when I was younger playing with my Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddy.
The night The Ultimate Warrior passed away I checked Twitter before heading off to bed. That’s how I found out he had died. Just two days after his induction into the Hall of Fame and one day after his first appearance of Monday Night Raw in eighteen years, the indestructible Ultimate Warrior was gone. Not only can we unfortunately add Warrior to the sad list of pro wrestlers that died way, way too young, but more importantly and more tragically, those two little girls I saw beaming up at their larger-than-life father at the induction ceremony are now without their dad. That’s wrong.
All day I’ve felt bad for The Ultimate Warrior. Here he was DAYS out from finding his way back into the WWE and back into our hearts again, and now he’s gone. It's unfair. He deserved his comeback and he never got to enjoy it. But while it saddens me that we’ll never get to see the next chapter of The Ultimate Warrior story, I will try to remind myself from now on that if for only two days -- those last two days of his life -- he was on top of the wrestling world again. Right where The Ultimate Warrior belongs.
Adam: Here are a couple of those “crazy” interviews. They’re so great.