Saturday, May 24, 2014

What "Almost" Movies are You Saddest Never to See?

So this one's kind of a bummer.

It was announced yesterday that Edgar Wright will no longer be directed Ant-Man for Marvel despite working on it for the better part of eight years. Millions of internet voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

We now won't get to see what Edgar Wright's superhero movie looks like, and it got me thinking about other "almost" movies that we can only wonder and speculate about but won't ever get to see. David Lynch's Return of the Jedi. Joe Dante's Halloween III. David O. Russell's Nailed. What "almost" movie do you wish would get made just so you could finally see it?

Also, did Lucas really write the word "suddenly" twice so close together in that Star Wars quote? What's up with that?

50 comments:

  1. Orson Welles's original cut of Magnificent Ambersons, Jerry Lewis's The Day The Clown Cried, and Joe Dante's Jaws 3, People 0.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I continue to hold out hope that buried in some obscure vault somewhere lies Welles' first cut of Ambersons. Jean Renoir's film The Rules of the Game was for years only available in a horribly chopped version, until 2 film buffs discovered a treasure trove of cut material in 1959. With Renoir's help they were able to reconstruct his original cut, which is fantastic. Sometimes miracles really do happen...

      Delete
    2. This was the first thing that came to mind (Ambersons) as I just listened to The Projection Booth's podcast on it. How I'd love to see that. Thank goodness we have The Rules of the game though!

      Delete
  2. Woody Allen making "Interview with the Vampire". He was Anne Rice's first pick to direct the film and he briefly considered it. Ridley Scott was second, followed by Neil Jordan who got the job.

    It would have been fascinating to see Woody tackle something so incredibly different.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Guillermo Del Toro's THE HOBBIT movie(not movies).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Still would have been two movies, but it certainly would not have felt sooooooo drawn out.

      Delete
  4. Forget about David Lynch directing "Return of the Jedi". That film would have been pretty much as it is now since George was over the shoulder directing. A fact that kept Lynch from accepting the job.

    I would be much more interested in seeing David Lynch's "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". Universal offered him the chance to direct it. He thought about it and said, "I don't know how to do this". He then moved on to "Dune".

    What would a David Lynch/Cameron Crowe collaboration had been like? Holy crap. Jennifer Jason Leigh losing her virginity and Phoebe Cates emerging from the pool would have been even more eye popping. Then having Sean Penn playing Spicoli in a Lynch film… WOW BOB WOW.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a shame we didn't get Spielberg's Return of the Jedi either, as both should have been much better then what we ended up getting.

      Delete
  5. The Quentin Tarantino James Bond movie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you mean "Casino Royale" that he wanted to make and took a meeting on, then the producers disregarded him and made the film anyway… Glad the film came out well but...

      Delete
    2. This! A Tarantino version of a movie from a popular franchise like James Bond sounds so super interesting.

      Delete
    3. I'm not a big Bond guy but I'd be first in line to see this.

      Delete
  6. Several years back there were rumours buzzing about a Tarantino helmed Friday the 13th flick. Said rumours turned out to be bullshit, as QT explicitly denied any involvement. So I'm not sure that its qualified for the "almost" title, I am tho very much on board with the idea.

    ReplyDelete
  7. David Fincher's Rendezvous with Rama, and Fincher's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jodorowsky's Dune (not to be confused with Jodorowsky's Dune).

    I feel like Lynch's Dune is comparable to Kubrick's The Shining in its relationship to the source material - they're their own cool, weird things but as a fan of both novels I don't think they're particularly good adaptations. Looks like Jodorowsky would have nailed it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I second this. When I read the topic for discussion it was the first thing what came to mind.

      Delete
  9. Driven by Nicolas Winding Refn and Halo by Jackson/Blomkamp.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anything del Toro. Hobbit, At the Mountains of Madness, Hellboy III - especially Mountains and Hellboy III.

    And while not exactly right for this discussion, I would love to see Joe Johnston's original vision for The Wolf-Man.

    ReplyDelete
  11. We have three version of "Anchorman 2" on blu ray. How about getting the three versions of Wes Craven's "Cursed" too?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kubrick's "Napoleon." Although there is word that Spielberg will be adapting the screenplay into a TV miniseries, which could be cool.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A fourth "Indiana Jones" movie, screenplay written by Frank Darabont.

    An ACTUAL Richard Donner cut of "Superman II" (if he hadn't been fired from the original production and didn't have to assemble from originally included scenes, deleted scenes, and test footage, the best possible approximation of that movie more than 35 years later).

    "Game of Death", the "Bruce Lee didn't die" Cut.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It just occurred to me that the Donner Cut of "Superman II" that we have was released around 2007, so Donner probably worked on it closer to 27 years (not 35) after the original production.

      Delete
  14. At the risk of being a tad prissy, there's too much great stuff coming out all the time (not to mention already out) to mourn the loss of something as trivial as a prospective movie. I would love to have gotten more of HBO's Carnivàle, for example, but we did get two amazing seasons, and life goes on. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. My mind goes to all the could haves for actors. Sean Connery as Gandalf, Jackie Chan as Simon Phoenix, Will Smith as Django Freeman and so on.

    I'd like to have seen Kubrick's Napoleon movie. Kenneth Branagh wanted to do Macbeth for years, but never go to make it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Superman Lives. I know it would have been a mess no matter if it was Burton, Smith, or someone else, but I've always been curious about what might have been. Also, I echo JB's desire to see Joe Dante's Jaws 3, People 0.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Bryan Singer's X-men 3. I'm not saying that it definitely would've been good, but at the very least would have been a less compromised conclusion to the original trilogy.

    Chris Weitz's original cut of The Golden Compass. Favourite book series that was severely chopped together to try and recreate a Lord of the Rings vibe. New Line ended up with a movie that pleased no one.

    ReplyDelete
  18. David FIncher's Torso. As a fan of both The Untouchables and Fincher's work (specifically Zodiac and Se7en), for me it's a tragedy that this movie was not made. I've read into this case quite a bit, and it's uniquely compelling.

    "Director David Fincher's adaptation of the graphic novel by Brian Michael Bendis, based on Elliot Ness' true-life pursuit of a Cleveland serial killer. Matt Damon was attached to star alongside Gary Oldman, Casey Affleck and Rachel McAdams, with Ehren Kruger (The Ring, Arlington Road, Scream 3, The Skeleton Key) hired to write the script."

    A crying shame it was never put into production.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think that Peter Jackson's Nightmare on Elm Street 6 would have been delightfully zany and over-the-top.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very curious about the eleventy billion other Freddy vs Jason treatments and/or scripts that were floating around for years.

      Delete
  20. The Apt Pupil adaptation from the late 80s with Nicol Williamson as Dussander and Ricky Schroeder as Todd. Apparently they shot about half of it and ran out of money or something. It's always intrigued me.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My picks all involve the Marx Brothers. There was Horseback Salad, from a script by Salvador Dali; A Day at the U.N., to be directed by Billy Wilder but cancelled by Chico's death; and a cartoon show featuring three dogs called the Barx Brothers. (Scott Shaw did concept art.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just saw this on Twitter regarding a long-lost Marx Brothers play, thought you might want to give it a read: http://willmckinley.wordpress.com/2014/05/24/90-years-later-lost-marx-brothers-musical-is-reborn/

      Delete
  22. I'll admit it's a point thats been brought up before but a proper Alien 3 directed by David Fincher (without insane studio interference) would have been great as the movie is a very mixed bag their is a lot of cool inside of it and the movie I wish had been the end of the Alien franchise.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I would’ve even taken Matthew Vaughn’s X-Men 3. Kick Ass & First Class were good & he was responsible for casting Kesley Grammer as Beast. At least he would’ve avoided the lame one-liners like “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!”

    Just for my low insane standards, I want to see what Russell Malcahy’s Highlander 2 “The Quickening” would’ve looked like before the bonding company stopped production & took control of it. Even with all the “special” versions and director cuts, there’s still a ton of stuff missing that could’ve make it seem like a completed movie. It could’ve turned out to be an ambitious failure or still just plain awful but like I said, I’m insane.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Not to derail, but after a day or so has passed, is anyone else sort of not mad about the Edgar Wright situation? I want to see any of his movies, he's a genius. I don't care about Ant Man. Now he can go make an Edgar Wright movie unencumbered by Disney and Marvel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure mad is the right word exactly, it just seems like he had been working on Ant Man for so long that who knows how many lost opportunities for other projects have passed by in that time? It's a shame when anybody spends over a year of their life on something that doesn't work out, but it's even more of a shame when that's a year+ of wasted time for somebody whose next project is so eagerly anticipated by so many people no matter what that project is.

      Delete
    2. To a degree, yeah. To me, while it's not a Marvel superhero movie, at least we still have Scott Pilgrim VS the World to show us what an Edgar Wright comic book movie looks like, and I love it very, very much. The silver lining is that he will make something else and it will likely be awesome. I don't want him to make Ant-Man if he's just compromising with the studio and it's not truly an Edgar Wright movie.

      Delete
    3. But JP also makes a good point. The most aggravating part is it feels like wasted time. Although he did co-write the script, correct? So maybe some of him will still shine through in the writing.

      Delete
    4. Supposedly the reason he quit is because Marvel/Disney shit-canned the script he wrote with Joe Cornish and handed it to two for-hire guys, who ruined it. So he won't shine through in the writing either.

      Delete
    5. Damn...Well now I'm upset all over again.

      Delete
    6. I think the scariest thing about Wright's departure is that the thing that makes the interesting Marvel movies interesting is the fact that they pick "not your first guess yet also exciting" directors and let them create genre films. The fact that they seem to be backpedaling on this strategy with a director who clearly has passion for the project and seems so inspired is.... troubling.

      Delete
  25. Tarantino's "The Whole Bloody Affair". I have been wanting to see the feature length Kill Bill film since it's inception. Still holding out hope that it will be available at some point.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Del Toro's At the Mountains of Madness, Tarantino's Bond movie, Sam Raimi's original version of Spider-Man 3, and the Serenity sequels.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just saw this about what ET was originally going to be, thought it might go well with the discussion.

    http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/nailbiter111/news/?a=100748

    ReplyDelete
  28. Alien 3 written by William Gibson

    ReplyDelete
  29. Peter Jackson's Nightmare on Elm Street 6: Dream Lovers

    ReplyDelete
  30. Brad Bird and Pixar's adaptation of James Dalessandro's novel 1906. It's been in production hell for over a decade and Bird left the project in 2012. It was suppose to be Pixar's first animated drama focusing on the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and fire. As of now it's still "in development" with no director attached and Warner Bros co-producing with Pixar.

    ReplyDelete