Friday, June 13, 2014

Junesploitation Day 13: Friday the 13th!

The day you count on for terror is not over!


  1. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

    Quick thoughts: I have a history with this one (and no Im not just watching it cause its the only one on Netflix) This is actually my favorite of the series for totally selfish reasons as I did the infamous sleeping bag kill over a thousand times one fun Halloween Horror Nights month in Orlando (if you ever went through Camp Blood haunted house 50 percent chance it was me you saw on the Jaws beach.) As to the film itself I actually think its fun, especially when Jason gets smacked around by Tina and its always weird seeing my man Bernie alive and sans mustache. Only negative would be the editing on the kills as pointed out on the great Friday the 13th podcast, you can feel the editing. Outside of my own personal story I still think this is higher end Friday and a great intro for one Mr Kane Hodder.

    8 Word Review:

    You can play Jason's back like a xylophone.

    1. Though its not my favorite in the series, I also love part 7 for a totally selfish and ridiculous reason: I think the Robin character is the hottest in the whole series, and has a wonderful rack. If you were to watch my old VHS copy, you'd see a noticeable blur at her obligatory topless scene. Long live 12-year-old me.

  2. FRIDAY THE 13th: THE ORPHAN (1979) on Amazon Prime for the first time.

    Surprised? Turns out the filmmakers behind the seminal 80's slasher, who are unapologetic about ripping off Carpenter's "Halloween," couldn't even be original about their movie's own freaking title. Another low-budget horror flick already had dibs on the "Friday the 13th" title (used only for the poster though, the film itself is only called "The Orphan") and Sean S. Cunningham had to cut its producers a check to use the title (money well spent). So despite not even being the "Halloween III" of the franchise, "Friday the 13th: The Orphan" exists, it's a real movie named "Friday the 13th" (technically) and today is Junesploitation's Friday the 13th! day... LOOPHOLESPLOITATION! :-P

    Holy crap, what a flipping trip this movie is. Within its first five minutes a young boy named David (Mark Owens, looking like the midget actor from 1981's "Burial Ground") is forced to kiss his father's corpse during his parents' funeral, is put into the care of his super strict Aunt Martha (Peggy Feury) and builds a shrine to a fake God named Charlie symbolized by a life-sized chimp his father shot and brought back from Africa. Through flashbacks we learn how David's parents died, why his dad brought an African man from his many safari vacations to live in their plush mansion (which would qualify as biting satire on the 'magic negro' trope in movies if it were made today) and why Mary the maid (Eleanor Stewart) and David touch so, ahem, intimately when playing around. Did I mention this isn't a comedy but a slow-burn descent-to-madness surreal horror drama? Or that some poor animals get it as badly as the handful of humans that, eh, you know, get between David and his love for toasted bread? Or that you can't tell whether the movie is set in the 1930's (as the music during the credits and cars seem to indicate) or the then-present 1970's (outfits and hairdos) but that it doesn't really affect the story in any meaningful way?

    The first 45-50 minutes of "Friday the 13th: The Orphan" are the most weird and surreal stream-of-consciousness filmmaking I've seen in Junesploitation so far. Bergman's "Fanny and Alexander" meets "Harold and Maude" crossed with... gulp, "Sleepaway Camp"? Yep, I wouldn't be surprised if Robert Hiltzik based the Aunt Martha on his movie on this movie's uptight WASP version of the same basic template (they're on the same wavelength). What "The Orphan" lacks from veering so far from accepted storytelling norms (not just from its namesake series but from any movies) it compensates for with the curious hook of not knowing what odd camera angle you'll see next, what batshit line of ADR dialogue you'll hear badly looped, or how actors/scenes/performances will each seem to unfold in their own plane of logic separate from the other, often within the same scene/frame.

    "The Orphan" doesn't nail the landing during its final third as much as it chooses to face-plant in a more conventional way than its surreal first hour would seem to indicate its headed. Sometimes this can get incredibly dull and repetitive to watch, and the Xth-generation of the VHS-quality print used for the streaming I watched (which sometimes renders what you're watching into shapeless color blobs) doesn't help. But, from the bottom of my cold and black heart, THANK YOU JUNESPLOITATION! You're the reason I've gone fishing so much lately and, unexpectedly I bagged me a super-sized Sturgeon on Friday the 13th, 2014. :-)

    1. That's awesome. I love hearing that you've discovered some good stuff this month.

  3. Freddy vs Jason (2003)

    because Fuck Me, that's why.

  4. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) - First Viewing

    The HD transfer on Netflix Streaming was FLAWLESS, couldn’t believe how good it looked. That’s what I was thinking for most of this movie, which is probably a bad sign. This was still a pretty fun watch though, and never boring. I liked the feel of it, kinda glossy and well-lit. 80’s slasher comfort food. Still working my way through the rest of the series.

  5. Friday the 13th (1980): Uni Library - So I re-visited the first one (it was new to me in Scary Movie Month) before I watched the second one for the first time. Bloody and not very original, this one can be a bit dull at times. I kind of enjoy Betsy Palmer's campy performance and I think it has a bit of charm so I don't hate re-watching it. It just isn't very good.

    Friday the 13th Part 2 (DVD): This one is much better than the first. There was a more enjoyable feel and cast. I will be re-visiting this one before I dive into the rest of the franchise, which I want to get to in the next Scary Movie Month.

  6. Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

    Until Jason Goes to Hell came along, this was widely considered the weakest in the series because it was Jason-free. I never understood why one mute, hulking murderer in a hockey mask was considered "better" than another. Frankly, if you don't notice the blue stripes on the mask I couldn't tell you what the difference is between the beloved Jason and the not-so-beloved (SPOILERS) Roy. Outside of the killer's name, this has all the things everyone loves about the series: blood, boobs, and bad acting. It even ends on a pretty great final shot, despite the fact that it's a development that's thoroughly ignored in the next movie. It's sleazy, exploitative, and pretty thoroughly entertaining. It's a shame it's so widely dismissed.

  7. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

    A meeting room at Paramount Studios, 1987.

    Executive A: We need another Friday the 13th movie. This one’s got to have some kind of hook, youknowwhati’msayin’?

    (silence in the room – it’s getting uncomfortable)

    Executive B (trying to break the tension): Hey, have you guys seen that movie Carrie? That’s a great flick.


    Executive A: I’m a genius!

    (4 months later – Executive A is talking to the writers)

    Executive A: Oh, and I freakin’ hate sleeping bags. Make sure to put that in there.

  8. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

    This is slowly becoming my favorite entry in the series.

  9. Friday the 13th (1980)

    Confession: This was my first viewing of a Friday the 13th film...ever. And I was underwhelmed. Maybe it was because I watched this one so close to the original Black Christmas, or because I knew who the killer was (thanks Scream).

    People seem to be having a lot more fun with some of the sequels though, so maybe I'll work my way through them.

  10. Friday the 13th Part 3

    I apologize for my absence during Junesploitation, but I wouldn't miss the opportunity to watch a Friday the 13th movie on Friday the 13th...ESPECIALLY when it's my favorite in the series. I'll say I've already seen it a bunch of times, but it's just so much fun, made even more so by the *plug*F This Movie! Commentary Track for the movie*plug* This movie has everything: 3-D, my favorite characters, some of my favorite kills, the intro of the hockey mask, a hypnotic barn, biker thugs, and a mormon. What's not to love?! But seriously, this movie is entertaining.

  11. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985, dir. Danny Steinmann) More and more, this is becoming the Friday movie I revisit. I think it's because 2 and 4 are actually good and I'm not in the mood for that and I've seen 3 too many times. But I echo what JP said above: it's very entertaining and I love the craziness of the whole thing. It almost reaches Sleepaway Camp heights. RIP Chocolate Bar Joey.

  12. Friday the 13th uncut (1980)

    I bought this region 3 dvd a while back and tonight was the perfect time to bring it out again. The uncut version is pretty much extended death scenes. I've always enjoyed the first film in the series, but I prefer my Fridays with Jason as the killer. Most likely because I grew up watching all the sequels before seeing the original.

  13. Saturday the 14th (1981)

    (Yeah, yeah, I know...Trust me, I'm not trying to be Johnny Cool Guy over here. Seriously, I've seen all the F13ths over and over and was going to watch the Friday the 13th: the Orphan but Vargas beat me to it and also made me flip the script with his review (thanks for posting early and saving me). Was then going to show my Fiance Bay of Blood AKA Twitch of the Death Nerve (for those who don't know, F13th jacked most of the death scenes straight from that film) but she wasn't feeling it.)


    Paula Prentiss - Man, I did not appreciate her when I watched this over and over as a kid. Nor Katie Kanisky (From "Gimmie a Beak") nor Nancy Lee Andrews who plays Jeffrey Tambour's Vampire wife. I had to look up all of those names - minus Tambour). Fun times revisiting this, although cringe worthy as well. Anyone who hasn't seen this since their childhood should definitely revisit, if not for nostalgia, for appreciating the hotness of the women involved.

  14. Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

    So, I never posted about this one because I couldn't think of anything to say about it. It was the only Friday I never watched because of how awful its reputation is. Vargas was right, it's very Sleeapaway Camp-esque. The scene were that angry kid axes the chocolate kid was crazy! I guess most noteworthy is that this installment has the sexiest of all the Friday victims in it in Debisue Voorhees (Coincidencesploitation!) If you look her up on Wiki, you'll find she actually really paid a price for being involved with this franchise: she found her way into showbiz via Playboy, and after that scenario (including this movie) had runs its course, she earned a Bachelor's in journalism and went into to teaching; but she kept finding herself dismissed from her position whenever the less reputable elements of her past career were discovered by students and co-workers. Unfairsploitation!

    1. "Actually really," "into to teaching," "Sleeapaway Camp"... now that's great film writing!