Saturday, December 27, 2014

What Are Your Dream Audio Commentaries?

And how many of them feature Martha Plimpton?

Many of us at FTM have expressed our love for DVD and Blu-ray bonus features, which may soon be phased out as physical media continues to die off. Before they're gone forever, what audio commentaries do you wish you could hear? Keep in mind that they can be from people living or dead, and that the individuals recording the commentary need not have worked on the film on which they are commenting. Maybe you want to hear Michael Oliver and Gilbert Gottfried speak over Problem Child. Maybe you want to hear Michael Oliver and Gilbert Gottfried speak over Sophie's Choice. The important thing to remember is that somehow Michel Oliver and Gilbert Gottfried are involved.

49 comments:

  1. Patrick Bromley, Doug, Mike, and JB's commentary for Exorcist II: The Heretic.

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    1. I haven't seen Exorcist II since about 10th grade. That would DEFINITELY get me to watch it again!

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    2. The power of John Boorman compels you! The power of John Boorman compels you!

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    3. JP - You and I both know that a cast commentary of THE HARD WAY would be...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRoTeEkExp8

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    4. Film Forum in NYC is having a Boorman retrospective in February and yes, they're showing "Exorcist II: The Heretic" on the big screen. If you guys can talk Bromley into recording the commentary so I can go to the screening and listen to it as "Exorcist II" unfolds I'd be eternally grateful.

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    5. I love you, Riske. I mean, I curse your family name for generations to come, but in a loving way.

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  2. The Pazzuzu will lead us to Pachooucu

    Exorcist ll as above. Thats my vote too

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  3. But with Riske in there too ;)

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  4. Yes, because that's what I want to hear: Gilbert Gottfried speak for an hour and a half to two hours.

    I'll have to wrack my brain on a dream commentary, but I always lament when directors, especially ones I admire, pass up the opportunity to do a commentary because they want the work to speak for itself or something. Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino come to mind. I would love to hear a commentary on The Dark Knight and Inception by Nolan, as well as anything from Tarantino on his own work.

    On the subject of audio commentaries, I just recently blind ordered Point Blank, which I a.) have never seen and b.) hear has a great commentary, so I'm looking forward to that.

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    1. Also, Rudy Behlmer and/or Richard Schickel on every classic movie ever. I find them both to be my favorite film historian types who do commentaries.

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    2. Tarantino is pretty much my answer too. I know the films speak for themselves, but....dammit....I wanna know the intricacies of how he planned the shots and weird inspirations for scenes! It's what we sad little commoners live for.

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  5. I would love to hear what a Marx Brothers commentary track would have sounded like.

    Also, Christopher Reeve on any of the Superman movies, particularly paired with Richard Pryor for Superman III.

    Finally (and I'm sort of shocked this one didn't actually happen), Roger Ebert on Hoop Dreams.

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    1. I'm surprised an Ebert Hoop Dreams commentary never came to fruition, either. I'm sure that would have been great.

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  6. Quentin Tarantino commenting on The Worlds End (or any of Edgar Writes movies)

    Edgar Writer commenting on Kill Bill (or any of Tarantinos movies)

    or any combination of film makers commenting of peers of similar standing.

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  7. Akira Kurosawa and Toshiro Mifune doing a commentary track for Stray Dog, Seven Samurai or really any of their collaborations.

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  8. The Rules of Attraction with commentary by Carrot Top.

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    1. It's a Christmas miracle! I was trying to think of a bizarre fantasy commentary but sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

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  9. How about Ridley Scott and Harrison Ford for Blade Runner? We could take bets on whether or not they kill each other.

    I would love to hear Prince do a commentary on Purple Rain with Wendy and Lisa. Of course, in my reality Prince is self-deprecating, focused, and properly respectful of everyone's contributions.

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  10. I would have LOVED to hear a commentary for Hook by Steven Spielberg (before he was replaced by Speven Steelberg) and Robin Williams. I will probably never know why they made some of the decisions that they did.

    Also, I've still got my fingers crossed for a commentary of A Hard Day's Night from all four Beatles and Richard Lester. It can happen.

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  11. I have it guys. The ultimate audio commentary

    I would like to hear Kim Jong Un, Seth Rogan and James Franco do a commentary on The Interview

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  12. Boris Karloff and James Whale on Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein. Karloff on any of his movies, for that matter.

    Ed Wood on any of his movies. Ed Wood and Bela Lugosi on Ed Wood.

    Tod Browning on any of his movies - but especially Freaks.

    The cast of Clue.

    The cast of Galaxy Quest.

    All of The Monkees in one room with Jack Nicholson for Head.

    Quentin Tarantino on Manos: The Hands of Fate (he's a big fan).

    John Waters on The Room. I'm not sure why.

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    1. I'm with you Kathy. I can't think of anything better than Ed Wood geeking out for a commentary. My pick would be his most personal film: Glen or Glenda.

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  13. Alfred Hitchcock for "Psycho"
    Charles Chaplin for "The Great Dictator"
    Woody Allen for "Annie Hall"

    I know they did one for parts 2 & 4, but I would love to hear a Adam Green/Joe Lynch commentary for every Friday the 13th(except for part 3, because no one can compete with the perfection of the F This Movie commentary!)

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  14. I've always wanted Lynch to do commentary for any of his films. Will never happen though.

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  15. I agree Shannon. Its a great commentary and the classic photo of the team after watching the movie all wearing the 3d glasses ;)

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  16. Oh, another one I would love is a Hayao Miyazaki commentary on any of his films. The man is such an animation and storytelling genius, in my opinion, that I'm sure his commentaries would be fascinating to hear.

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  17. Kubrick on A Clockwork Orange or anything else would be Ah-mazing. But I don't want to hear him do a track on Woody Allen's Anything Else.

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  18. Other than JB's suggestion (MAKE IT HAPPEN!!), Quentin Tarantino on Kill Bill. Man, I want some in-depth info about the production of that movie but all that exists are a few interviews and a few shitty TV featurettes

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    1. Here you go, Kino -

      http://wiki.tarantino.info/index.php/Kill_Bill_References_Guide

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    2. I've gone through this before. Honestly I'm a glutton, the only thing that could satiate my first is an Appendices-esque mega documentary.

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  19. Any of the Indiana Jones movies or either of the first two Jurassic Park films. If Spielberg would sit down for JUST ONE movie. I would so love to hear what he has to say about any of his movies. He's got zero interest in commentary tracks though.

    I might as well ask for a Michael Curtiz commentary for Robin Hood... Which would be awesome.

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  20. I want Howie Mandel to do a commentary track on The Gremlins entirely in Gizmo's voice

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  21. I don't know if I could think up a commentary track that would beat Schwarzenegger's Total Recall commentary. Listening to Arnold gush like a fanboy, and literally describe everything that's happening on screen is the best thing I could possibly imagine.

    If I had to pick a dream commentary track, I think I would go with the dynamic duo of Woody Allen and Mel Gibson giving a good Schindler's List commentary.

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  22. Kevin Smith and Bruce Willis on Cop Out.

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  23. Walt Disney on some of Disney's modern animation efforts (e.g. Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King).

    JJ Abrams on the original Star Wars.

    Martin Scorsese on Hugo.

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  24. Norm Macdonald on Chairman of the Board

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  25. All the best ones have already been taken but Stephen King on Kubrick's The Shining might be an entertaining bitchfest!

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    1. Hell yeah Sol. That would be fun.

      And as a perfect accompanying double bill companion piece hows about Kubrick's commentary on Maximum overdrive.

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  26. Ian Fleming on Die Another Day. Sean Connery on any of his Bond movies. And on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

    Also, Alfred Hitchcock on Gus van Sant's Psycho and Gene Roddenberry on Star Trek into Darkness.

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    1. Connery doing any of his Bond outings would be great!

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    2. Better yet...Nicholas Meyer on Star Trek The Wrath of Darkness....

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  27. I saw UHF after hearing the F This Movie podcast on it, and now I think I'd like to hear Weird Al do a commentary track for anything. You guys were right, it is one of the best commentaries I've ever heard. Maybe Weird Al talking about a Mel Brooks movie or Airplane or something like that. Just telling us every detail of where the film was shot, because I'm guessing he knows.

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  28. My dream commentaries are actually doable in that the participants are alive, have done commentaries before and the only reasons they didn't do them is because the projects weren't deemed worthy of the expense of recording commentaries for them. I want John Carpenter and Kurt Russell together doing commentaries for "Elvis" and "Escape from L.A." Shoot, even as a downloadable bonus from some entrepreneur website or podcast with pool (KillerPOV?), having these two doing what they do best (shoot the breeze while talking about a flick they have fond memories of working together making) would be just the best. :-)

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    1. PULL!!! Podcast with pull, not a podcast with a pool (though if that gets John and Kurt in the mood to talk go right ahead).

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