by Adam Riske
You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you have to take it up a notch and blow your wad. Then you take it up another notch and blow your wad once more -- it’s about living your life a quarter mile at a time. There are a lot of rules.
Track One: “Furious” by Ja Rule from The Fast and the Furious
Remember when Ja Ruled? This end credits jam from the original F&F kicks things off on the right note. It gets you pumped up and also nostalgic for the days when Murder Inc. was taking over shit. Nothing’s mo’ murda then red letterbox, yo. I bet Ja thought he was going to be a series mainstay, that is until he was swiftly Ludacris’d out of the franchise by the next movie. Don’t feel bad for Ja, he did Half Past Dead the next year (oy vey). Furious 7 brings things full circle as one of the baddies is a real Ja that rules – Ong Bak’s Tony Jaa.
Track Two: “Pump It Up” by Joe Budden from 2 Fast 2 Furious
THIS..WAS..MY..JAM back in the day!! Duna Duna Duna Duhh!!!! Such a fun song. Budden at his best. You now have permission to blow your wad, shortie!!!
Track Three: “Turn Down for What” by DJ Snake & Lil Jon from Furious 7
We gotta keep the party going because I spit hot fire. This remix of the awesome treadmill song “Turn Down for What” hails from the soundtrack of the latest F&F. If you’ve never seen the official music video for this song, check it out on YouTube. So bonkers, so good.
Track Four: “Krazy” by PitBull & Lil Jon from Fast & Furious
I know I told you that we won’t stop. Spring Break!!!! #YoMamaSheGetsKrazy
Track Five: “Like a Pimp” by David Banner from 2 Fast 2 Furious
The opening song from 2 Fast 2 Furious makes no goddamn sense but I still love it. This is the type of song I imagine the Terrance Howard character from Hustle & Flow would have made. I need to watch that movie again. It was good and stuff.
Track Six: “Act a Fool” by Ludacris from 2 Fast 2 Furious
I love it when the stars of the movie are in the music videos. This song makes me want to stare and drive my next date in my Nissan Altima. “Act a Fool” is so dated that it has a rhyme about the Denzel Washington movie John Q. Remember that movie? Yup, that existed for the weekend it was out. Not one for the ages, were you John Q?
Track Seven: “Tokyo Drift” by Teriyaki Boyz from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
I blast this song when I drift over to my local sushi restaurant. Either then or when I hang out with all the high school kids in the Wendy’s parking lot and we show off our mom’s cars to one another. Cool spoiler, bro! Did you get that for your 16th birthday?
Track Eight: “Conteo” by Don Omar from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Before he played Santos in Fast & Furious and Fast Five, Don Omar became a fixture on F&F soundtracks with the great “Conteo.” The beginning of this song makes me want to go lift weights for some reason. The video for this song kind of blows, though, if I’m being honest. What does “Conteo” mean? Hold on, I’ll look it up…..”Count?” That almost ruins the whole thing. Ugh, moving on…
Track Nine: “Get Low” by Dillon Francis & DJ Snake from Furious 7
Yup, the song from the Furious 7 trailer. This video is so weird. It looks like they shot it for $5, notwithstanding the stack of bills that one dude is making rain. I wonder how they got on those chairs at the 0:37 mark. If I tried that shit, they would all break for sure because I’m a klutz. Warning: Slightly NSFW booty shaking at 2:34. It’s pretty cool.
Track Ten: “Danza Kuduro” by Don Omar from Fast Five
My favorite song on this mix. This should be the fuggin’ national anthem. I’ve loved this song ever since hearing the first time during the happy montage at the end of Fast Five. It could be raining outside, your girl just cheated on you and you have no change to throw, but if you had “Danza Kuduro” playing, none of that would seem so bad. The best song ever about Tony Danza, plain and simple. I still can’t believe they dragged a safe in Fast Five. I mean they DRAGGED…A…HUGE…SAFE…OMG, that scene was awesome!!
Track Eleven: “We Own It” by 2 Chainz & Wiz Khalifa from Fast & Furious 6
Yup, the song from the opening credits of Fast and Furious 6 with the amazing series montage of how we got to the place we were at by the beginning of F&F 6. It’s like F&F fanboy’s wet dream.
Track Twelve: “Ball” by T.I. & Lil Wayne from Fast & Furious 6
T.I. music is so fun. It’s like Ja Rule music and Ludacris music had a baby together. I bet Adam Thas likes this video because it has drawings in it. This video also features the future Mrs. Riske. She’s at the 0:17 mark on the far right.
Track Thirteen: “Rest of My Life” by Ludacris, Usher & David Guetta from Fast & Furious 6
This song at the 1:25 mark is just the best. Guetta!!!! It makes me want to run out and do something with my life. Nike should co-opt this song for its “Just Do It” bullshit. A great song representing a great series of movies. It’s like “yeah, this is awesome, let’s celebrate!”
Track Fourteen: “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth from Furious 7
I’m going to cool it down a notch to close things out with a really nicely done tribute to Paul Walker. RIP.
Next week on Riske Business, the Fast & Furious awards, celebrating the entire series as all roads lead to Furious 7. I can’t wait! Talk to you all next week. At F This Movie! I don’t got friends, I got family.