The Hitcher (1986)Jennifer Jason Leigh horribly loses her ass
STARRY EYES (2014, Netflix Instant) for the first time.Faithful remake of "Los Angeles Plays Itself."and/orLucky McKee's movie auditions are just brutal!
David Cronenberg's THE FLY (1986, Blu-ray).'Waiter! There's a Brundlefly inside Geena Davis.'
Guillermo del Toro's CRIMSON PEAK (2015, theater) for the first time.This much I know: Guillermo's repeating himself.and/orClassiest "Money Pit" reimagining nobody asked for.
Stephen King's MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986, YouTube).Never underestimate universe's desire to exterminate rednecks.
Santa's Slay (2005)'Twas the night Santa lost at curling.
Gremlins (1984)Dear Santa,Please send me coked up Yodas.
The Omen (1976)‘Boyhood’ for Satanists.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)I never knew Jesus' blood was radioactive.
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)The cause of any 90s silicon shortage.orScrew both you guys, I liked it.
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)Introducing my kids to the Universal Monsters.
House on Haunted Hill (1959)Cross Vincent, and pay the ultimate Price.
City of the Living Dead (1980)Makes no sense but much brain matter
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan Holy Shit this is a Long Title (1989)Maybe the boat's "Manhattan"...you don't know.
Puppet Master 4 (1993)Better than expected...but still really sucked.
Arachnophobia (1990)Eight legs, two fangs, and Jeff Daniels.
Body Double (1984)Driller Killers, masturbation, assless chaps. It’s art.orSuper-hot Melanie secures the Something Wild gig.
Hellraiser (1987)Never trust someone who wears glasses inside.
The Entity (1982)Why I masturbate so much...damn ghosts.
Roadgames (1981)Hitchcockian. Psycho II director. JLC. Good Shit.
Nightmare (1981)Movie so gruesome, the distributor was imprisoned.
Knock, Knock (2015)It's okay, if it's in a three-way.
House of The Devil (2009)Ruins "Francis Ha", knowing her sad end.
Popcorn (1991) Freddy's burns? Scary. Popcorn's floppy ears? Ridiculous.
The Brood (1979)As if raising kids wasn't terrifying enoughorAbusive alcoholic or no, grandma is HOT!
Lord of Illusions (1995)Can someone shutoff that sword dropping machine!!
Freddy vs Jason (2003)Jay clone seems lost without Silent Bob.
It's Alive (1974)Does anyone know a good vasectomy doctor?
The Gate (1987) Toy rockets versus stop motion monsters. Legit.
Hellraiser (1987)Demons to some, exposition providers to others.
The Last Slumber Party (1988 SOV) Dir. Stephen TylerHad a great time. Dialogue is unreal!
Spider Baby (1968)Confession: I was a teenage spider baby.
Satan's Little Helper (2004)The Jesus Sunday School failed to mention.
Opera (1987)Italians hatred of eyes reaches it's apex.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)Patrick was right, take out the CryptKeeper.
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)Story of the most dedicated method actor.
Hellraiser (1987)Cenobites can't be evil. MMMMM...cinno bites.
House (1985)That V-neck sweater is from another dimension.
Hellraiser (1987)Cenobites, remember, don't move! Rolling, aaaaaand.......non-action!
Shaun of the Dead (2004)The sweetest and most romantic zombie movie.
The Monster Squad (1987)Robotech pajamas...you can count me in!!
Goodnight Mommy (2014)The cutest twins since the Grady girls.
Sinister(2012)Death by Lawnmower? Oh cut it out!
The Gate II: The Trespassers (1990) A pure expression of "watered down sequel."
Sleepaway Camp (1983)Tagline: The fear doesn't show. It grows...
The Machinist(2004)The man needs sleep, hugs, and hamburgers.
Seven(1995)HEAD out to RedBOX and rent this!
Identity(2003)An inventive movie with character and personalities.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)Big things do come with small packages
Tony (2009)Crack, VHS, Murder. Tony's my kinda guy.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)Bing Crosby beware, the Headless Horseman rides.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1980)Jeff Goldblum beware, the Headless Horseman rides.
Sticks break. Walken Freaks. Deus tree machina.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Johnny Depp beware, your instincts can misguide.
Detective Urps when he sees blood. Acting!
Tales of Terror (1962)Excellent bouquet...medium bodied...spicy...quite suitable.
The Brave Little Toaster (1987)Say this ain't fuckin horror...it's terrifying!
Black Death (2010)Lots of death, not so much black.
The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)This movie or "Old School". Which's scarier?
The Fog (1980)Atkins is butt naked without that stache.
The Awakening (2011)Too much BBC and not enough atmosphere
Troll 2 (1990)Come for trolls. Stay for the acting.
The Beyond (1981)Fulci fucking hates eyeballs, also coherent storytelling
Evil Dead RemakeThe best Franchise ive watched all month!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)Better than original? Only Heather Langencamp's looks.
Tales of Halloween (2015)Lots of fun. Needs more tits, though.
Identity(2003)Pruitt Taylor Vince makes my eyes twitchyorJake Busey is great impersonating his father
The Blob (1988) Big bad was all over the place..
Tucker and Dale vs. EvilNever judge a hillbilly by their overalls.
MirrorsIt's ok Kiefer knows how to flatline.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Heads roll. Sometimes my eyes do, too.
Christine (1983)Evil car fixes itself? I'll take it!
The Descent (2005)Harrowing true story of Nosferatu's hillbilly cousins.
Amityville 3-D (1983)Not great but my favorite Amityville movie
Hocus Pocus (1993)Omri Katz must have had serious game.
Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)Little Atkins misses being in Carpenter productions.
The Hitcher (1986)
ReplyDeleteJennifer Jason Leigh horribly loses her ass
STARRY EYES (2014, Netflix Instant) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteFaithful remake of "Los Angeles Plays Itself."
and/or
Lucky McKee's movie auditions are just brutal!
David Cronenberg's THE FLY (1986, Blu-ray).
ReplyDelete'Waiter! There's a Brundlefly inside Geena Davis.'
Guillermo del Toro's CRIMSON PEAK (2015, theater) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteThis much I know: Guillermo's repeating himself.
and/or
Classiest "Money Pit" reimagining nobody asked for.
Stephen King's MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986, YouTube).
ReplyDeleteNever underestimate universe's desire to exterminate rednecks.
Santa's Slay (2005)
ReplyDelete'Twas the night Santa lost at curling.
Gremlins (1984)
ReplyDeleteDear Santa,
Please send me coked up Yodas.
The Omen (1976)
ReplyDelete‘Boyhood’ for Satanists.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeleteI never knew Jesus' blood was radioactive.
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)
ReplyDeleteThe cause of any 90s silicon shortage.
or
Screw both you guys, I liked it.
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
ReplyDeleteIntroducing my kids to the Universal Monsters.
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
ReplyDeleteCross Vincent, and pay the ultimate Price.
City of the Living Dead (1980)
ReplyDeleteMakes no sense but much brain matter
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan Holy Shit this is a Long Title (1989)
ReplyDeleteMaybe the boat's "Manhattan"...you don't know.
Puppet Master 4 (1993)
ReplyDeleteBetter than expected...but still really sucked.
Arachnophobia (1990)
ReplyDeleteEight legs, two fangs, and Jeff Daniels.
Body Double (1984)
ReplyDeleteDriller Killers, masturbation, assless chaps. It’s art.
or
Super-hot Melanie secures the Something Wild gig.
Hellraiser (1987)
ReplyDeleteNever trust someone who wears glasses inside.
The Entity (1982)
ReplyDeleteWhy I masturbate so much...damn ghosts.
Roadgames (1981)
ReplyDeleteHitchcockian. Psycho II director. JLC. Good Shit.
Nightmare (1981)
ReplyDeleteMovie so gruesome, the distributor was imprisoned.
Knock, Knock (2015)
ReplyDeleteIt's okay, if it's in a three-way.
House of The Devil (2009)
ReplyDeleteRuins "Francis Ha", knowing her sad end.
Popcorn (1991)
ReplyDeleteFreddy's burns? Scary. Popcorn's floppy ears? Ridiculous.
The Brood (1979)
ReplyDeleteAs if raising kids wasn't terrifying enough
or
Abusive alcoholic or no, grandma is HOT!
Lord of Illusions (1995)
ReplyDeleteCan someone shutoff that sword dropping machine!!
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
ReplyDeleteJay clone seems lost without Silent Bob.
It's Alive (1974)
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know a good vasectomy doctor?
The Gate (1987)
ReplyDeleteToy rockets versus stop motion monsters. Legit.
Hellraiser (1987)
ReplyDeleteDemons to some, exposition providers to others.
The Last Slumber Party (1988 SOV) Dir. Stephen Tyler
ReplyDeleteHad a great time. Dialogue is unreal!
Spider Baby (1968)
ReplyDeleteConfession: I was a teenage spider baby.
Satan's Little Helper (2004)
ReplyDeleteThe Jesus Sunday School failed to mention.
Opera (1987)
ReplyDeleteItalians hatred of eyes reaches it's apex.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeletePatrick was right, take out the CryptKeeper.
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
ReplyDeleteStory of the most dedicated method actor.
Hellraiser (1987)
ReplyDeleteCenobites can't be evil. MMMMM...cinno bites.
House (1985)
ReplyDeleteThat V-neck sweater is from another dimension.
Hellraiser (1987)
ReplyDeleteCenobites, remember, don't move! Rolling, aaaaaand.......non-action!
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
ReplyDeleteThe sweetest and most romantic zombie movie.
The Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeleteRobotech pajamas...you can count me in!!
Goodnight Mommy (2014)
ReplyDeleteThe cutest twins since the Grady girls.
Sinister(2012)
ReplyDeleteDeath by Lawnmower? Oh cut it out!
The Gate II: The Trespassers (1990)
ReplyDeleteA pure expression of "watered down sequel."
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
ReplyDeleteTagline: The fear doesn't show. It grows...
The Machinist(2004)
ReplyDeleteThe man needs sleep, hugs, and hamburgers.
Seven(1995)
ReplyDeleteHEAD out to RedBOX and rent this!
Identity(2003)
ReplyDeleteAn inventive movie with character and personalities.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
ReplyDeleteBig things do come with small packages
Tony (2009)
ReplyDeleteCrack, VHS, Murder. Tony's my kinda guy.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
ReplyDeleteBing Crosby beware, the Headless Horseman rides.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1980)
ReplyDeleteJeff Goldblum beware, the Headless Horseman rides.
Sticks break. Walken Freaks. Deus tree machina.
DeleteSleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteJohnny Depp beware, your instincts can misguide.
Detective Urps when he sees blood. Acting!
DeleteTales of Terror (1962)
ReplyDeleteExcellent bouquet...medium bodied...spicy...quite suitable.
The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
ReplyDeleteSay this ain't fuckin horror...it's terrifying!
Black Death (2010)
ReplyDeleteLots of death, not so much black.
The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)
ReplyDeleteThis movie or "Old School". Which's scarier?
The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteAtkins is butt naked without that stache.
The Awakening (2011)
ReplyDeleteToo much BBC and not enough atmosphere
Troll 2 (1990)
ReplyDeleteCome for trolls. Stay for the acting.
The Beyond (1981)
ReplyDeleteFulci fucking hates eyeballs, also coherent storytelling
Evil Dead Remake
ReplyDeleteThe best Franchise ive watched all month!
Evil Dead Remake
ReplyDeleteThe best Franchise ive watched all month!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
ReplyDeleteBetter than original? Only Heather Langencamp's looks.
Tales of Halloween (2015)
ReplyDeleteLots of fun. Needs more tits, though.
Identity(2003)
ReplyDeletePruitt Taylor Vince makes my eyes twitchy
or
Jake Busey is great impersonating his father
The Blob (1988)
ReplyDeleteBig bad was all over the place..
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
ReplyDeleteNever judge a hillbilly by their overalls.
Mirrors
ReplyDeleteIt's ok Kiefer knows how to flatline.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteHeads roll. Sometimes my eyes do, too.
Christine (1983)
ReplyDeleteEvil car fixes itself? I'll take it!
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteHarrowing true story of Nosferatu's hillbilly cousins.
Amityville 3-D (1983)
ReplyDeleteNot great but my favorite Amityville movie
Hocus Pocus (1993)
ReplyDeleteOmri Katz must have had serious game.
Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)
ReplyDeleteLittle Atkins misses being in Carpenter productions.