Rosemary's Baby (1968)Hard wood floors always equal sexy times.
Hiroyuki Okiura's A LETTER TO MOMO (2011, Amazon Prime) for the first time. English-dubbed version.Greatest goblin fart defensive maneuver scene... EVER!and/or"My Neighbor Totoro" grownup, 'PG,' supernatural, moving.
DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973, Amazon Prime) for the first time.No, seriously, don't bother. There's nothing there.
Carl Theodor Dreyer's VAMPYR (1932, Hulu's Criterion Channel).Moody as fuck, but not that scary.
Wolf Creek 2 (2013)Gratuitous kangaroo killing gets me every time.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman (1943)Mad doctor is too 'boy next door'.
John Boorman's EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1978, Amazon Rental).Greatest FThisMovie commentary track not yet recorded.and/orEnding redefines the term 'crash and burn.'
Boris Karloff in THE HAUNTED STRANGLER (1958, Hulu's Criterion Channel) for the first time.Lunkheads always make best resurrected psychopathic murderers.
It Follows (2014)Good friends will help fight killer STDsand/orTense, dream like with atmosphere a plenty
‘Aftershock’ (2013), ’The Stranger’ (2014), and ‘Knock Knock’ (2015) Eli Roth! Take back your ‘presents’!
Don`t look now (1973)Reddest red this side from Profondo Rosso
Seven (1995)Freeman with a deft touch, PITT SMASH!!
Carnival of Souls (1962)It always feels like somebody's watching me.
Critters 4 (1992)I don't think they're in Kansas anymore.
Tales of Halloween (2015)Covering ten stories in seven words: tricky
Silver Bullet (1985) It's Big Ed's Gas and Werewolf Farm.
The Dark Crystal (1982)Fun Fact: JFK's middle name was Fizgig
The Funhouse (1981)First strangulated, then hatcheted. Oh, the humanity..
Wyrmwood:Mad Max says, "These zombies spew guzzoline!"
Umm...that's me...I suck at the internet...couldn't figure out how to put my own name on my own brain's thoughts. Oh, well.
The Innocents (1961)I figured out the sudden ending. Its
The Descent (2005)Love this movie, always fun to hyperventilate.
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Hold That Ghost (1941)Sometimes funny trumps spooky gory ghost stories
Burnt Offerings (1976)This family isn't haunted, it's just dysfunctional.
The Gallows (2015)Sometimes found footage should just stay lost.
Navy Seals vs Zombies (2015)On paper.......Nope, still a shitty idea.
King Kong (1933)Wrong. Twas airplanes that killed the beast.
Let the Right One In (2008)Child vampire solves rubik cube, finds love.
Parents (1989)Leftover peopleloaf just doesn't taste the same.
[REC] (2007)Can we leave? No. Violent death? Si.
King Kong (1933)We're gonna make a swell picture people.
Housebound (2014)Cuddly teddy bear is cuddly. Also terrifying.
Crimson Peak (2015)Rustic, airy low-maintenance mansion w/ privacy. Bleeds.
Unfriended (2014)i didn't write this reviewbabesrsly
The Fly (1986)Where is my Brundlefly kid's book?
Monster SquadThe Goonies could totally take these kids.
The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill (2013)Not worth the time to watch it.
Sledgehammer (1983 SOV) Dir. David PriorCrash course in shooting slow motion scenes!
Cutting Class (1989) Everything's bland except for Brad Pitt's hair.
Dead and Gone (2008)Are all rural Constables really this DTF?
Poltergeist (1982)Put the TV outside! "Coach" is on!I'm sorry if that's been done. Seems too easy in retrospect.
Kairo/Pulse (2001)Bleak Ghosts doing alternative dance, genuinely terrifying.
The Mangler (1995)Tobe Hooper shoulda brought a pooper scooper
Phenomena (1985)Cute Connelly, paralysed Pleasance, devlish Dario, yay!
Night Of The Demons (1988)I hope Sam Rami got some kickback.
Home Sweet Home (1981)Also somtimes known as Murder by Jake.
Honeymoon Horror (1982)Before burned killers turned into burned molesters.
The Dark Half (1993)Guess he took "eat a dick" literally.
Horror Planet (1981)Contains the alien rape Alien was missing.
Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)Hoping for a Fred Olen Ray remake.
The Killing Hour (1982)More bondage than David Carradine's hotel room.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)Demon Billy Zane is the grooviest demon!
Afflicted (2013)Wait, I thought the French loved garlic?
The Uninvited (2009)Was I invited? I wasn't not invited.
Honeymoon (2014)#CuteCouple! #RelationshipGoals!Oh, that's disturbing.
The Otherworld (2013)Richard Stanley made a documentary! Watch it!
Scream 4 (2011)The A is a 4...fuck off
The Guest (2014)Why am I so happy David survives?
The Babadook (2014)No Witticisms. I'll just say it's great.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)Has Tim Burton seen any other movie?
CreepshowStill like, that box was really overstuffed.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)Hellbound called Daniel's bluff on wanting horrors.
The Frankenstein TheoryBecoming Frankensteins therapist actually kind of worked.
Tag (2015)Not Sono's best, still better than most.
Clive Barker Lord of Illusions (1995)Scott Bakula always sounds awkwards saying Fuck.
Amityville II: The PossessionWe needed Rocky to perform the exorcism.
House (1986)Glad the Deadites are still finding work.
House 2: The Second Story (1987)Joshua Jackson was right. This is better.
John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)Not perfect; I totally have mahogany anyway.
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)I just called....to saaaaayyyyy....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK you
Rosemary's Baby (1968)
ReplyDeleteHard wood floors always equal sexy times.
Hiroyuki Okiura's A LETTER TO MOMO (2011, Amazon Prime) for the first time. English-dubbed version.
ReplyDeleteGreatest goblin fart defensive maneuver scene... EVER!
and/or
"My Neighbor Totoro" grownup, 'PG,' supernatural, moving.
DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973, Amazon Prime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteNo, seriously, don't bother. There's nothing there.
Carl Theodor Dreyer's VAMPYR (1932, Hulu's Criterion Channel).
ReplyDeleteMoody as fuck, but not that scary.
Wolf Creek 2 (2013)
ReplyDeleteGratuitous kangaroo killing gets me every time.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman (1943)
ReplyDeleteMad doctor is too 'boy next door'.
John Boorman's EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1978, Amazon Rental).
ReplyDeleteGreatest FThisMovie commentary track not yet recorded.
and/or
Ending redefines the term 'crash and burn.'
Boris Karloff in THE HAUNTED STRANGLER (1958, Hulu's Criterion Channel) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteLunkheads always make best resurrected psychopathic murderers.
It Follows (2014)
ReplyDeleteGood friends will help fight killer STDs
and/or
Tense, dream like with atmosphere a plenty
‘Aftershock’ (2013), ’The Stranger’ (2014), and ‘Knock Knock’ (2015)
ReplyDeleteEli Roth! Take back your ‘presents’!
Don`t look now (1973)
ReplyDeleteReddest red this side from Profondo Rosso
Seven (1995)
ReplyDeleteFreeman with a deft touch, PITT SMASH!!
Carnival of Souls (1962)
ReplyDeleteIt always feels like somebody's watching me.
Critters 4 (1992)
ReplyDeleteI don't think they're in Kansas anymore.
Tales of Halloween (2015)
ReplyDeleteCovering ten stories in seven words: tricky
Silver Bullet (1985)
ReplyDeleteIt's Big Ed's Gas and Werewolf Farm.
The Dark Crystal (1982)
ReplyDeleteFun Fact: JFK's middle name was Fizgig
The Funhouse (1981)
ReplyDeleteFirst strangulated, then hatcheted. Oh, the humanity..
Wyrmwood:
ReplyDeleteMad Max says, "These zombies spew guzzoline!"
Umm...that's me...I suck at the internet...couldn't figure out how to put my own name on my own brain's thoughts. Oh, well.
DeleteThe Innocents (1961)
ReplyDeleteI figured out the sudden ending. Its
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteLove this movie, always fun to hyperventilate.
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Hold That Ghost (1941)
ReplyDeleteSometimes funny trumps spooky gory ghost stories
Burnt Offerings (1976)
ReplyDeleteThis family isn't haunted, it's just dysfunctional.
The Gallows (2015)
ReplyDeleteSometimes found footage should just stay lost.
Navy Seals vs Zombies (2015)
ReplyDeleteOn paper.......Nope, still a shitty idea.
King Kong (1933)
ReplyDeleteWrong. Twas airplanes that killed the beast.
Let the Right One In (2008)
ReplyDeleteChild vampire solves rubik cube, finds love.
Parents (1989)
ReplyDeleteLeftover peopleloaf just doesn't taste the same.
[REC] (2007)
ReplyDeleteCan we leave? No. Violent death? Si.
[REC] (2007)
ReplyDeleteCan we leave? No. Violent death? Si.
King Kong (1933)
ReplyDeleteWe're gonna make a swell picture people.
Housebound (2014)
ReplyDeleteCuddly teddy bear is cuddly. Also terrifying.
Crimson Peak (2015)
ReplyDeleteRustic, airy low-maintenance mansion w/ privacy. Bleeds.
Unfriended (2014)
ReplyDeletei didn't write this review
babe
srsly
The Fly (1986)
ReplyDeleteWhere is my Brundlefly kid's book?
Monster Squad
ReplyDeleteThe Goonies could totally take these kids.
The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill (2013)
ReplyDeleteNot worth the time to watch it.
Sledgehammer (1983 SOV) Dir. David Prior
ReplyDeleteCrash course in shooting slow motion scenes!
Cutting Class (1989)
ReplyDeleteEverything's bland except for Brad Pitt's hair.
Dead and Gone (2008)
ReplyDeleteAre all rural Constables really this DTF?
Poltergeist (1982)
ReplyDeletePut the TV outside! "Coach" is on!
I'm sorry if that's been done. Seems too easy in retrospect.
Kairo/Pulse (2001)
ReplyDeleteBleak Ghosts doing alternative dance, genuinely terrifying.
The Mangler (1995)
ReplyDeleteTobe Hooper shoulda brought a pooper scooper
Phenomena (1985)
ReplyDeleteCute Connelly, paralysed Pleasance, devlish Dario, yay!
Night Of The Demons (1988)
ReplyDeleteI hope Sam Rami got some kickback.
Home Sweet Home (1981)
ReplyDeleteAlso somtimes known as Murder by Jake.
Honeymoon Horror (1982)
ReplyDeleteBefore burned killers turned into burned molesters.
The Dark Half (1993)
ReplyDeleteGuess he took "eat a dick" literally.
Horror Planet (1981)
ReplyDeleteContains the alien rape Alien was missing.
Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)
ReplyDeleteHoping for a Fred Olen Ray remake.
The Killing Hour (1982)
ReplyDeleteMore bondage than David Carradine's hotel room.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeleteDemon Billy Zane is the grooviest demon!
Afflicted (2013)
ReplyDeleteWait, I thought the French loved garlic?
The Uninvited (2009)
ReplyDeleteWas I invited? I wasn't not invited.
Honeymoon (2014)
ReplyDelete#CuteCouple! #RelationshipGoals!
Oh, that's disturbing.
The Otherworld (2013)
ReplyDeleteRichard Stanley made a documentary! Watch it!
Scream 4 (2011)
ReplyDeleteThe A is a 4...fuck off
The Guest (2014)
ReplyDeleteWhy am I so happy David survives?
The Babadook (2014)
ReplyDeleteNo Witticisms. I'll just say it's great.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)
ReplyDeleteHas Tim Burton seen any other movie?
Creepshow
ReplyDeleteStill like, that box was really overstuffed.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
ReplyDeleteHellbound called Daniel's bluff on wanting horrors.
The Frankenstein Theory
ReplyDeleteBecoming Frankensteins therapist actually kind of worked.
Tag (2015)
ReplyDeleteNot Sono's best, still better than most.
Clive Barker Lord of Illusions (1995)
ReplyDeleteScott Bakula always sounds awkwards saying Fuck.
Amityville II: The Possession
ReplyDeleteWe needed Rocky to perform the exorcism.
House (1986)
ReplyDeleteGlad the Deadites are still finding work.
House 2: The Second Story (1987)
ReplyDeleteJoshua Jackson was right. This is better.
John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)
ReplyDeleteNot perfect; I totally have mahogany anyway.
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
ReplyDeleteI just called....to saaaaayyyyy....FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK you