Cooties (2014)You will never eat chicken nuggets again.
Let the Right One In (2008)Cute tale of kids getting into mischief.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)Finally!! The black guy doesn't die first.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael MyersThe planets did not align this Halloween.
Halloween H20Cafeteria food on the weekend, torture porn?
Musarañas [Shrew's Nest] (2014)Two girls, one apartment. One unlucky guy.
You're Next (2011)Australian final girls obviously do it better.
The Drownsman Water not safe. Girl needs new friends.
Halloween: ResurrectionMichael Myers ain't no soundbite yo!..hi-ya!
My Soul To TakeThank you very much that felt wonderful.
The Thing (1982)If only more people labeled their underwear.
The Amityville Horror (2005)Amityville not as scary as The Proposal.
Halloween III: Season of the WitchI enjoyed my time away from Haddonfield.
House (1986)You're sure it was your favorite aunt?
The thing (2012)Substituting Rob Bottin through CGI? Damn idiots.
Orphan (2009).Moral of the story: Do not adopt.
Carrie (1976)You coulda soaked anyone in pig's blood...
Michael Mann's THE KEEP (1983, Amazon Prime) for the first time.'These wind/fog machines go to 11.'and/or"WWII": an MTV motion picture musical event.'
The Chiodo Brothers' KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE (1988, Amazon Prime) for the first time.Finally, likable survivors who don't act dumb.
George A. Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD: THEATRICAL VERSION (1978, DVD).Nuclear-powered malls have the best candy.
George A. Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD (1985, DVD).Imagine 'Frankenstein' running a real monkey farm.
George A. Romero's SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD (2009, Amazon Prime) for the first time.The 'E' in Romero's directorial gas tank.
Cursed (2005) Freddy Krueger sure knows how to photobomb.
Damien: Omen II (1978)What is the Devils obsession with elevators.
The Man They Could Not Hang (1939)Home is where the mechanical heart is.
The Canal (2014) - whiney father has lead paint poisoning, boring
The Woman in Black (2012) - Stop! Hammer Time! surprisingly good, beautifully shot.
House of the Devil (2009)Babysitter story with twist. Sits old person.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2More like Rocky Horror Chainsaw Massacre. 2.
The Sixth Sense (1999)I knew the twist but good.orLike Beetlejuice, but less Burtan/Elfmany.
These are six-word reviews! :'(
Oh, poop! I kind of disagree with my second one at this point anyway.
The Green Inferno (2015)When in doubt, wip it out. Really?!
Deathgasm (2015)Best splatter metal movie ever. Hail satan! l__l
Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)The one where Michael has mommy issues.
Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010)Six movies later, 'so there he is.'
May (2002)Common misconception, you can't live on Jujubes.
Rites of Spring (2011) Spring is not all "rite" with me.
The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)Surprisingly sleazy sixties schlock. Stripper scene startles.
A Bucket of Blood (1959)Funny film from fiscally frugal Foger Forman.
Tales from the Darkside: the Movie (1843)Oldest movie ever made...or is it?
Black Sheep (2006)Puts most killer sheep movies to shame.
The Gate (1987)Baby Stephen Dorff fights midget Abe Vigodas
Children of the Corn (1984)Blue Man Group is a police station.
The Frighteners (1996)Michael J. Fox fights ghost wall boners
Creep (2015)How could you stay with this guy?
DEATHGASM (2015)Nope, turns out it's a boner boner.
Friday the 13th part 3 Your all Doomed! Eye did warn you.....
Saw III (2006)Four more of these? Oh hell no...
I Married a Monster From Outer Space (1958) Should've signed a prenup from outer space.
Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985)Christopher Lee lowers his standards for cash.
Pain Management (2007) Dir. Sam Vazquez (the pirate on stilts guy)Even IMDB wont acknowledge that this exists.
Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein (1948)Yeah, you and twenty million other guys.
Honeymoon (2014)Results are in. You're NOT the father.
It's Alive (1974)Suddenly, GOP thinks Planned Parenthood is great
Honeymoon Nothing good ever happens in a cabin.
Land of the Dead (2005)We're going to need a bigger truck
Wrong Turn (2003)Watch all the pretty people die slowly
Rabbit Hole (2015) 17 min. short Dirs. Rob Dimension, Mike O'MahonyIf you're into shorts, check this out.
Friday the 13th part 4 The Final Chapter Crispin Glover dances better than Tony Manero!(For Adam Riske) ;)
Black Candles (1982)Goat sex, sword up ass; still boring.
Halloween II (1981)Not only teenagers, also story gets killed.
Sleep Hollow (1999)Johnny Rico battles the Headless Horseman, loses
Creep (2014)Pete wins Shiva Bowl, celebrates with murder.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)Larry Drake leaves this off his resume.
The Woman In Black 2 - Angel Of Death (2015)Less Daniel Radcliffe, more lazy jump scares.
Alone in the Dark (1982)Smart slasher, still has boobs. Everyone wins!
Evilspeak (1981)Based on the book The Accidental Billionaires.
Frankenstein (1931)Children living near water should swim better.
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990) Old man should have called Jackson Galaxy.
Expose (1976)Part of the Udo bugs eyes series.
Fight for Your Life (1977)J.F. Sebastian has a racist disease too.
A Christmas Horror Story (2015) Dirs. Grant Harvey, Steven Hoban, Brett SullivanAtmosphere - perfect, Horror - not. Still, liked it.
Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)Dallessandro. My favorite German born in Brooklyn.
Forest of Fear (1980)The problem with most Kevin Smith films.
The Gestapo's Last Orgy (1977)I will never eat pot roast again.
House by the Cemetery (1981)Fuck Freudenstein, I'm scared of Giovanni Frezza.
House on the Edge of the Park (1980)I miss Hess. He's raping God now.
Evil Eye (1975)Exemplary giallo nonsense with absurdly hunky lead.
Ok, I'm not sure if Twilight could even be considered a scary movie, but I'll bent the rules anyway - here we go.Twilight (2008)Once I thought in scary movie month,New Moon (2009)I could enjoy everything – until this bunch.Eclipse (2010)Team Edward, Team Jacob – I don’t care,Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)because their stories have nothing to share,Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)a lesser pilot of SyFy channel flair.
Deathgasm (2015)Best film I have seen all month!
The Faculty (1998)Moral of the story: always carry drugs.
Waxwork (1988)Midget, Giant, Bobby from Twin Peaks...interesting
Dog Soldiers(2002)Family meal time consists of military personnel
Nothing but the Night (1973)More like Nothing Ever Happens, pretty boring.
The Evil Dead (1981)Necronomicon: still less dangerous than Atlas Shrugged
The Thing (1982)I now have some severe trust issues.
Scooby-Doo (2002)Somehow, even dumber than the TV show.
The Evil Dead (1981)San Raimi definitely had some lady issues.
The Exorcist (1973)Great, but don't understand the insane hype.
The Hive (2015) Dir. David YaroveskyIt's really embarrassing, but I liked this.
The Fly (1958)Zut Alors, my atoms keep buzzing around.
The Faculty (1998)Only do some scat during alien invasions.
Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)It puts the pussy on the table.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) - Gonna start sleeping more to get ESP!!!!
The Cabinet of Caligari (1962) - Dan O'Herlihy for the win once again.
Cat Girl (1957) - "Take this family curse and leopard. Bye!"
The Evil Dead (1981)Some deadites get grinded into Campbell soup
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)Chains, gore, head morphing and sweaty sex!
Corridors of Blood (1963)Christopher Lee's first appearance as The Babadook.
Housebound (2014) Your new horror icons: Teddy bear, Eugene.
A Christmas Horror Story (2015)Pointless. Maybe would've worked as a miniseries.
The Evil Dead (1981)Arbor Day Foundation advises against hugging trees
Deathgasm (2015) Dir. Jason Lei HowdenI dug it. Wright, Raimi NZ style.
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)Know who loves Dennis Miller? Dennis Miller
Day of the Dead (1985)Zombie justice proves to be quite satisfying.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)So many years wasted before watching this.
The Unborn (1991)You're having a killer super fetus too?!
Tusk (2014)Another Kevin Smith hate crime against humanity
Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch (1982)Atkins, ask her age BEFORE you fuck
Halloween (1978)Mike Myers isn't a love guru here.
Urban LegendRobbed student pulitzer on E. Coli article
Urban Legends: Final CutIf only they had included urban legends.
Urban Legends: Bloody MaryWish this movie was an urban legend.
The Babadook (2014)This fucking movie hits all the spots
Shock a.k.a Beyond the Door II (1977) Dir. Mario Bava (his last film)Bava turns mundane into style showcase masterpieces.
Final Girl (2015) Hope this one counts, first post for Scary Movie Month!!Wes Bentley always seems to creep me out.
Horns (2013)Churchies warned Harry Potter is the devil.
Hotel Transylvania 2The things we do for our kids...
Unfriended (2014) Laura and Horace Pinker should team up.
ScreamSpoiling another horror movie's twistNot cool Williamson
We Are Still Here (2015)Ya need some ice for that BURRNNN!?!
Horrors of the Black Museum (1959)Michael Gough and killer binoculars...in HYPNO-VISTA!
Wolf Creek 2"Crocodile Dundee ain't got shit on me!"
Dismembering Christmas (2015) Dir. Austin BosleyTypical low budget slasher. The right length.
Black Devil Doll From Hell (1984)Best movie featuring puppet cunnilingus I've seen
Scooby-Doo 2 (2004)Oh Lord, when'll I find my Velma?
Halloween (1978)Michael Myers will return in... Halloween Harder
Blue Ruin (2013)Next 2 sequels: Yellow Destroy, Magenta Sabotage
The Wolf Man (1941)This whole movie makes my heart sing.
28 Days Later... (2002)When zombies run fast, I shit pants.
A Christmas Horror Story (2015)Wants to be Trick 'r Treat. Isn't.
Re-Animator (1985)I'd give my head for Barbara Crampton.
What We Do in the Shadows (2015)These chips didn't agree with my stomach.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)I'd give Angela's dick for Barbara Crampton.
Shock Treatment (1981)Live in D.C. with a shadowcast. Bizarre.
The Curse of FrankensteinThe curse: Victor would rather screw cousin.
Scream (1996)Horror love for horror lovers. RIP Wes.
House of Usher (1960)A lush introduction to Vincent Price's eyebrows.
The Den (2013)Delivers in the sledgehammer to face department.
Devil's RejectsWho wins? Awful people or awful people
Return of the Living Dead 2 (1988)I'll take an order of brains, spicy!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)Freddy, um, gets inside confused teenage boy.
1408 (2007)John Cusack vs. "an evil fucking room."
Daybreakers (2009)Ethan Hawke vs. Patrick's futuristic evil family.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)Cornell vs. my heart: I lose (win?)...
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)So much staring directly at the camera.
Come back to me (2014)Only take road trips with real people
Come Back to Me (2014):Alive, rape, stab, kill, breathe, alive, repeat.
Dawn of the Dead (1978, George Romero)Roger's a real smug piece of garbage.