Frankenstein (1931)Stop! He's no monster! He's just stupid!
Deathgasm (2015)Wow! I really fucking hated this movie.
The Nightmare ( 2015)Spooky dreams by spooky people. Dont sleep!
Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)Jesus, Sally...that time of the month?
Storm of the Century(1998)Population dropping even faster than the snow.
Let the Right One In (2008)I feel for that vicious murdering vampire.
V/H/S (2012)People still film onto VHS tapes? Huh.
Night of the Living Dead (1990)Tom Towles hairline makes bold acting choice.
Saw IV (2007)Dark twist on "Ice to see you"
Frankenstein's Army (2013)Surprisingly good midnight movie; lacks Udo Kier.
Poltergeist (2015)Bigger budget. Better technology. Doesn't hold up.
Clownhouse (1989): Parents abandon children: evil clowns step in
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)Anti-Establishment Carpenter's point: Censorship is good!
creepshow (1982) - scary documentary about Stephen Kings' substance abuse
Backcountry (2014) - I don't think this is paddington, honey
Wes Craven's New Nightmare Freddy is Zuul the Gatekeeper when burned
It Follows (2015)It followed me once on Twitter @AdamR38
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Freddy's Revenge (1985)I want revenge for watching this again
Saw V (2008)Don't worry there's multiple "previously on Saw"
Evil Dead 2 (1987)Handless fights souless with chainsaw and boomstick.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 - Freddy's Revenge (1985)So blatantly gay I`m ashamed being gay
The Descent (2005)Seeing this makes my claustrophobia even worse
House of Wax (1953)That fight scene came out of nowhere!
Interview With the Vampire (1994)Reminiscent of some job interviews I've had.
Creepshow (1982)Stephen King gets a lesson in meteorology.
The Nightmare (2015): These kooks have thoughts on "The Shining"?
Cooties (2015)As an antivaxxer, I don't get it
Maximum Overdrive (1986) Still, better Green Goblin mask than Dafoe's.
Re-Penetrator (2004)Isn't Re-Animator the pornographic spoof of Re-Animator?
Microwave Massacre (1983) Dir. Wayne BerwickHolds it's reputation as worst Horror ever!
Saw IV (2007)Over halfway there, guess I'll muddle through...
Basket CaseSeparate Siamese twins against will? Get murdered.
Burying the Ex (2014)Guess I should have watched Gremlins 2
A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's RevengeNot that there's anything wrong with that.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge"I just don't see it" Jack Sholder
Mangiati Vivi (1980)Neat! Mixes cannibals with Jonestown. Very sleazy!
You're Next (2011)Yuppie family reunions always end this way.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)Boobie-trapping a dog was never so intense.
Ginger Snaps (2000)Puberty turned you into a real bitch.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) (with the commentary).Very good soundtrack, terrible lip sync though.
Arachnophobia (1990)Jeff Daniels killed a homeless guy once.
THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999, Amazon Prime).The Pandora's Box of found-footage movies.
BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2 (2000, Amazon Prime).Seeing ghostly sausage getting made undermines prequel.
Nurse (2014) This seven word review ruined my career.
Basket Case (1982)Everyone is curious, "What's in the basket?"
Grabbers (2012)Monster movie or NAMBLA'S basketball team's name
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) Take a drink whenever someone says "Texarkana."
Saw V (2008)Getting curious how they're gonna end this...
Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)Wilburs brain in Frankensteins body? That's scarier!
Scooby-Doo: The Adventure Begins (2009)Honestly, this movie kinda sucked. Asian Velma?
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)Still think lead looks like Roger Daltrey.
Zombeavers (2014)Dag and Norb turn to human flesh!
Nightmare on elm st 2Seems like two competing movies, neither work
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Title equals misnomer, film equals classic gem
Friday the 13th (1980)This shitty movie spawned how many sequels?
Carnival of Souls (1962)All The Boys Haggle Mary Henry. (Horrifying!)
I Spit on Your Grave (1978)Steel wool wont scrap this movie off.
Island of Death (1976)Two words sum it up...goat fucking!
Last House on the Left (1972)Where's Cobra Kai when you need them?
Love Camp 7 (1969)Never thought I'd miss Ilsa so much.
Day Of The Dead (1985)My favorite zombie movie of all time
Madhouse (1981)I thought this starred Larroquette and Alley.
Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)See the previous review for Blood Feast.
Nightmares in a Damaged Brain (1981)A rallying cry in favor of infanticide.
Triangle (2009)Great and disturbing variation on Groundhog day.orLiam Hemsworth´s head on a hook - surprising.
The Tingler (1959)Sends a tingle to my special places
Santa's Slay (2005)Santa is murderous and probably anti-Semitic.
The Tingler (1959)Sends tingles to all my special places
Sorority House Massacre (1986) Why's this sorority slasher all about reincarnation?
Ghostwatch (1992)The British do everything first and better.
Burying the Ex (2014)Most parts felt as cold as the Ex.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rosemary's Baby (1968)Ruth Gordon is such a pleasant satanist.
Sorority babes: Slimeball bowl-o-ramaonly source of imp lore to date
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)Dracula and God's relationship status: it's complicated.
GrabbersImagine if the grabbers landed in Utah.
To All A Goodnight (1980) - At least THIS killer looks like Santa
Corpse Bride (2005)It's not forced necrophilia if you're married.
The ABCs of Death (2012)More like The ABCs of Complete Shit.
GRABBERS (2013) dir. Jon Wright"Edgar Wright presents TREMORS SIX: JAWSRACHNOPHOBIA'S ASHES."
Hostel pt 2 (2007) dir. Eli Roth."WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE reaches logical conclusion."
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) You see it Akins probably Fuck it.
Halloween: H20 (1998)Michelle Williams in My Weekend with Michael.
Tales From The Crypt: Bordello Of Blood (1996)Dumb fun that's better than I remembered.
Dreamcatcher (2003) Aliens invade through our butts. Why not?
Black Eyed Children: Let Me In (2015)Beyond bargain basement. Lowest of the low.
Kids vs. Monsters (2015)This movie has no right to exist.
The Phantom Carriage (1921)The rumor is...a meatball directed this.
HostelLots of nice boobies and then.......ouchie!
It followsIt is sexually frustrated, chill out It
1408Made protagonist a writer again, that's novel.
The Wolfman (2010)There's a werewolf throw down! Enough said.
Dark Was The NightTree creature experiences a slow growth cycle.
Friday the 13th (1980)Camp Crystal Lake needs some new counselors.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)All of the adults need hearing aids.
Re-Animator (1985)There's nudity...but not the good kind.
The Haunting (1963)Shall I stay or shall I go!
Prom Night (1980) Kept expecting Nielsen to say something hilarious.
Re-Animator (1985)Worst security guard for the morgue possible.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)Goodnight, Wes. Thank you for the Nightmares.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)You see my privates? I'm making noise.
What We Do in the Shadows (2015)Werewolves are quite polite, it turns out.
1408 (2007)When Sam Jackson tells you something, listen.
Blood for Dracula (1974)Feminist or Misogynistic? Only the gays know.
Pernicious (2014)Horrible. BrentPeterson couldn't even masturbate to it.
Starry Eyes (2014)"Behind the Scenes: Rise of the Kardashians."
Deathgasm (2015)I don't know. It's fine I guess.
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Love knows no bounds (or manners, apparently)
True Nature (2010)Waiiiiiiit... What? Why'd she kiss her dad?
The Green Inferno: Girl must've had the rival's tribal tattoo
Re-Animator (1985) The best Frankenstein movie not called Frankenstein.
Monster SquadForget the monsters. Beware the levitating dog.
Friday the 13th, Part V (1985) A parable about the dangers of vanchiladas.
Midnight Meat Train (2008)Really no cameras? Oh that's why, cool.
ContractedUmmmm....Excuse me while I wash everything
Pet Sematary (1989) First timeWell Patrick, Aunt Zelda really doesn't disappoint.
The Reef (2010)This Australian tourism advertisement is very confusing.
Halloween (2007)Not great, but not half bad either
[REC] 3: Genesis (2012)Change in style, ramps up the carnage.
Lucky Bastard (2014)That title doesn't describe me watching this.
The Man in the Attic (1953): Owning black bags; left handedness; both suspect.
Monster Squad (1987)Goonies meets Sandlot with lots more Nards!
Halloween II (1985): Heat in the hospital: Ya Burnt Myers.
A Christmas Horror StoryWhen did Santa turn into a badass?
Son of Dracula (1943)Did you know Alucard is Dracula backwards?
Cabin Fever (2003)Flesh eating virus? Pour Listerine on dick.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)Devilishly dapper; disgustingly brutish. Quite the feat.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)Sarah Polley needs to do more horror.
Audition (1999)Fuck that! Fuck that!...pretty good though.
Deer Women. Short film from Masters of Horror by John Landis. Deer lord! What a piece of shit.
The Guardian (1990)The unheralded classic movie monster: The Druid!
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) (With F This Movie! Commentary)I want an Official Tom Atkins Dickrag™!
A Nightmare on Elm street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) Bending chair legs? That's my dream too!
The Descent (2005)Fuck caves. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters UnleashedWatched it because I love my son
We Are Still Here (2015)When I go blackface it's considered racist.
Castle Freak (1995)Alternate title: Gordon's Guide to Terrific Parenting.
Scooby-Doo: Curse of the Lake Monster (2010)Horror-themed romcom for kids. Weird idea.
Tales From the Crypt the Movie (1990): Specials: Reading delay on oven baked child.
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteStop! He's no monster! He's just stupid!
Deathgasm (2015)
ReplyDeleteWow! I really fucking hated this movie.
The Nightmare ( 2015)
ReplyDeleteSpooky dreams by spooky people. Dont sleep!
Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
ReplyDeleteJesus, Sally...that time of the month?
Storm of the Century(1998)
ReplyDeletePopulation dropping even faster than the snow.
Let the Right One In (2008)
ReplyDeleteI feel for that vicious murdering vampire.
V/H/S (2012)
ReplyDeletePeople still film onto VHS tapes? Huh.
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
ReplyDeleteTom Towles hairline makes bold acting choice.
Saw IV (2007)
ReplyDeleteDark twist on "Ice to see you"
Frankenstein's Army (2013)
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly good midnight movie; lacks Udo Kier.
Poltergeist (2015)
ReplyDeleteBigger budget. Better technology. Doesn't hold up.
Clownhouse (1989): Parents abandon children: evil clowns step in
ReplyDeleteIn the Mouth of Madness (1994)
ReplyDeleteAnti-Establishment Carpenter's point: Censorship is good!
creepshow (1982) - scary documentary about Stephen Kings' substance abuse
ReplyDeleteBackcountry (2014) - I don't think this is paddington, honey
ReplyDeleteWes Craven's New Nightmare
ReplyDeleteFreddy is Zuul the Gatekeeper when burned
It Follows (2015)
ReplyDeleteIt followed me once on Twitter @AdamR38
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Freddy's Revenge (1985)
ReplyDeleteI want revenge for watching this again
Saw V (2008)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry there's multiple "previously on Saw"
Evil Dead 2 (1987)
ReplyDeleteHandless fights souless with chainsaw and boomstick.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 - Freddy's Revenge (1985)
ReplyDeleteSo blatantly gay I`m ashamed being gay
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteSeeing this makes my claustrophobia even worse
House of Wax (1953)
ReplyDeleteThat fight scene came out of nowhere!
Interview With the Vampire (1994)
ReplyDeleteReminiscent of some job interviews I've had.
Creepshow (1982)
ReplyDeleteStephen King gets a lesson in meteorology.
The Nightmare (2015): These kooks have thoughts on "The Shining"?
ReplyDeleteCooties (2015)
ReplyDeleteAs an antivaxxer, I don't get it
Maximum Overdrive (1986)
ReplyDeleteStill, better Green Goblin mask than Dafoe's.
Re-Penetrator (2004)
ReplyDeleteIsn't Re-Animator the pornographic spoof of Re-Animator?
Microwave Massacre (1983) Dir. Wayne Berwick
ReplyDeleteHolds it's reputation as worst Horror ever!
Saw IV (2007)
ReplyDeleteOver halfway there, guess I'll muddle through...
Basket Case
ReplyDeleteSeparate Siamese twins against will? Get murdered.
Burying the Ex (2014)
ReplyDeleteGuess I should have watched Gremlins 2
A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge
ReplyDeleteNot that there's anything wrong with that.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
ReplyDelete"I just don't see it" Jack Sholder
Mangiati Vivi (1980)
ReplyDeleteNeat! Mixes cannibals with Jonestown. Very sleazy!
You're Next (2011)
ReplyDeleteYuppie family reunions always end this way.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
ReplyDeleteBoobie-trapping a dog was never so intense.
Ginger Snaps (2000)
ReplyDeletePuberty turned you into a real bitch.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) (with the commentary).
ReplyDeleteVery good soundtrack, terrible lip sync though.
Arachnophobia (1990)
ReplyDeleteJeff Daniels killed a homeless guy once.
THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999, Amazon Prime).
ReplyDeleteThe Pandora's Box of found-footage movies.
BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2 (2000, Amazon Prime).
ReplyDeleteSeeing ghostly sausage getting made undermines prequel.
Nurse (2014)
ReplyDeleteThis seven word review ruined my career.
Basket Case (1982)
ReplyDeleteEveryone is curious, "What's in the basket?"
Grabbers (2012)
ReplyDeleteMonster movie or NAMBLA'S basketball team's name
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)
ReplyDeleteTake a drink whenever someone says "Texarkana."
Saw V (2008)
ReplyDeleteGetting curious how they're gonna end this...
Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
ReplyDeleteWilburs brain in Frankensteins body? That's scarier!
Scooby-Doo: The Adventure Begins (2009)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, this movie kinda sucked. Asian Velma?
Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)
ReplyDeleteStill think lead looks like Roger Daltrey.
Zombeavers (2014)
ReplyDeleteDag and Norb turn to human flesh!
Nightmare on elm st 2
ReplyDeleteSeems like two competing movies, neither work
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteTitle equals misnomer, film equals classic gem
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDeleteThis shitty movie spawned how many sequels?
Carnival of Souls (1962)
ReplyDeleteAll The Boys Haggle Mary Henry. (Horrifying!)
I Spit on Your Grave (1978)
ReplyDeleteSteel wool wont scrap this movie off.
Island of Death (1976)
ReplyDeleteTwo words sum it up...goat fucking!
Last House on the Left (1972)
ReplyDeleteWhere's Cobra Kai when you need them?
Love Camp 7 (1969)
ReplyDeleteNever thought I'd miss Ilsa so much.
Day Of The Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite zombie movie of all time
Madhouse (1981)
ReplyDeleteI thought this starred Larroquette and Alley.
Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)
ReplyDeleteSee the previous review for Blood Feast.
Nightmares in a Damaged Brain (1981)
ReplyDeleteA rallying cry in favor of infanticide.
Triangle (2009)
ReplyDeleteGreat and disturbing variation on Groundhog day.
or
Liam Hemsworth´s head on a hook - surprising.
The Tingler (1959)
ReplyDeleteSends a tingle to my special places
Santa's Slay (2005)
ReplyDeleteSanta is murderous and probably anti-Semitic.
The Tingler (1959)
ReplyDeleteSends tingles to all my special places
Sorority House Massacre (1986)
ReplyDeleteWhy's this sorority slasher all about reincarnation?
Ghostwatch (1992)
ReplyDeleteThe British do everything first and better.
Burying the Ex (2014)
ReplyDeleteMost parts felt as cold as the Ex.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteRosemary's Baby (1968)
ReplyDeleteRuth Gordon is such a pleasant satanist.
Sorority babes: Slimeball bowl-o-rama
ReplyDeleteonly source of imp lore to date
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
ReplyDeleteDracula and God's relationship status: it's complicated.
Grabbers
ReplyDeleteImagine if the grabbers landed in Utah.
To All A Goodnight (1980) - At least THIS killer looks like Santa
ReplyDeleteCorpse Bride (2005)
ReplyDeleteIt's not forced necrophilia if you're married.
The ABCs of Death (2012)
ReplyDeleteMore like The ABCs of Complete Shit.
GRABBERS (2013) dir. Jon Wright
ReplyDelete"Edgar Wright presents TREMORS SIX: JAWSRACHNOPHOBIA'S ASHES."
Hostel pt 2 (2007) dir. Eli Roth.
ReplyDelete"WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE reaches logical conclusion."
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
ReplyDeleteYou see it Akins probably Fuck it.
Halloween: H20 (1998)
ReplyDeleteMichelle Williams in My Weekend with Michael.
Tales From The Crypt: Bordello Of Blood (1996)
ReplyDeleteDumb fun that's better than I remembered.
Dreamcatcher (2003)
ReplyDeleteAliens invade through our butts. Why not?
Black Eyed Children: Let Me In (2015)
ReplyDeleteBeyond bargain basement. Lowest of the low.
Kids vs. Monsters (2015)
ReplyDeleteThis movie has no right to exist.
The Phantom Carriage (1921)
ReplyDeleteThe rumor is...a meatball directed this.
Hostel
ReplyDeleteLots of nice boobies and then.......ouchie!
It follows
ReplyDeleteIt is sexually frustrated, chill out It
1408
ReplyDeleteMade protagonist a writer again, that's novel.
The Wolfman (2010)
ReplyDeleteThere's a werewolf throw down! Enough said.
Dark Was The Night
ReplyDeleteTree creature experiences a slow growth cycle.
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDeleteCamp Crystal Lake needs some new counselors.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteAll of the adults need hearing aids.
Re-Animator (1985)
ReplyDeleteThere's nudity...but not the good kind.
The Haunting (1963)
ReplyDeleteShall I stay or shall I go!
Prom Night (1980)
ReplyDeleteKept expecting Nielsen to say something hilarious.
Re-Animator (1985)
ReplyDeleteWorst security guard for the morgue possible.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteGoodnight, Wes. Thank you for the Nightmares.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
ReplyDeleteYou see my privates? I'm making noise.
What We Do in the Shadows (2015)
ReplyDeleteWerewolves are quite polite, it turns out.
1408 (2007)
ReplyDeleteWhen Sam Jackson tells you something, listen.
Blood for Dracula (1974)
ReplyDeleteFeminist or Misogynistic? Only the gays know.
Pernicious (2014)
ReplyDeleteHorrible. BrentPeterson couldn't even masturbate to it.
Starry Eyes (2014)
ReplyDelete"Behind the Scenes: Rise of the Kardashians."
Deathgasm (2015)
ReplyDeleteI don't know. It's fine I guess.
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteLove knows no bounds (or manners, apparently)
True Nature (2010)
ReplyDeleteWaiiiiiiit... What? Why'd she kiss her dad?
The Green Inferno:
ReplyDeleteGirl must've had the rival's tribal tattoo
Re-Animator (1985)
ReplyDeleteThe best Frankenstein movie not called Frankenstein.
Monster Squad
ReplyDeleteForget the monsters. Beware the levitating dog.
Friday the 13th, Part V (1985)
ReplyDeleteA parable about the dangers of vanchiladas.
Midnight Meat Train (2008)
ReplyDeleteReally no cameras? Oh that's why, cool.
Contracted
ReplyDeleteUmmmm....Excuse me while I wash everything
Pet Sematary (1989) First time
ReplyDeleteWell Patrick, Aunt Zelda really doesn't disappoint.
The Reef (2010)
ReplyDeleteThis Australian tourism advertisement is very confusing.
Halloween (2007)
ReplyDeleteNot great, but not half bad either
[REC] 3: Genesis (2012)
ReplyDeleteChange in style, ramps up the carnage.
Lucky Bastard (2014)
ReplyDeleteThat title doesn't describe me watching this.
The Man in the Attic (1953): Owning black bags; left handedness; both suspect.
ReplyDeleteMonster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeleteGoonies meets Sandlot with lots more Nards!
Halloween II (1985): Heat in the hospital: Ya Burnt Myers.
ReplyDeleteA Christmas Horror Story
ReplyDeleteWhen did Santa turn into a badass?
Son of Dracula (1943)
ReplyDeleteDid you know Alucard is Dracula backwards?
Cabin Fever (2003)
ReplyDeleteFlesh eating virus? Pour Listerine on dick.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
ReplyDeleteDevilishly dapper; disgustingly brutish. Quite the feat.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
ReplyDeleteSarah Polley needs to do more horror.
Audition (1999)
ReplyDeleteFuck that! Fuck that!
...pretty good though.
Deer Women. Short film from Masters of Horror by John Landis.
ReplyDeleteDeer lord! What a piece of shit.
The Guardian (1990)
ReplyDeleteThe unheralded classic movie monster: The Druid!
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) (With F This Movie! Commentary)
ReplyDeleteI want an Official Tom Atkins Dickrag™!
A Nightmare on Elm street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
ReplyDeleteBending chair legs? That's my dream too!
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteFuck caves. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
ReplyDeleteWatched it because I love my son
We Are Still Here (2015)
ReplyDeleteWhen I go blackface it's considered racist.
Castle Freak (1995)
ReplyDeleteAlternate title: Gordon's Guide to Terrific Parenting.
Scooby-Doo: Curse of the Lake Monster (2010)
ReplyDeleteHorror-themed romcom for kids. Weird idea.
Tales From the Crypt the Movie (1990): Specials: Reading delay on oven baked child.
ReplyDelete