House Of 1000 Corpses (2003)Dr Satan- A hat wearing a hat
The Haunting (1963)The perils and maddness of home ownership.
Slugs (1988 - from the director of Pieces)Also exactly what you think it is
Son of Frankenstein (1939):Committing crimes against nature: a hereditary condition.
John Carpenter's The Ward (2010)Puts me In The Mouth Of Sadness
Halloween: Resurection (2008)Wu-tang maybe, but Kung-fu Busta? Come On!
The Phantom of the ParadiseGreat movie ruined by weird floating birds.
Birdemic- Shock and terrorTerrible movie, ruined by weird floating birds.
Pieces (1982)This movie is... exactly what I wanted.
SleepwalkersCats: the cute and furry bad asses
The Thing (1982)Earliest example - paranoia and mistrust of Windows
Ginger Snaps (2001):But if I associated menstruation with lycanthropy...
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Ah screw it, I like this movie
The Vault of Horror (1973)Office building basement cemetaries are sooooo '70s.
'A Nightmare on Elm St 2: Freddy's Revenge' (1985)Alternative title: Freddy and the Blue Oyster
Tales of Terror (1962)Poe fans will see the endings Corman'.
Under The Skin (2013)Evidently Michael Myers taught her to drive
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)Just what the original lacked: exploding parakeets.
Candyman (1992)Movie hooks you right from the beginning
Devils Rejects (2005)Family enjoys murder and tootie fuckin frutie
Cobra (1986)Night Slasher wields the best knife ever.
also:George P. Cosmatos trope: cold-cocking authority figures
The Funhouse (1981)Weird kid from 'Phenomena'? How you've grown!
IT (1990)Does Pennywise poop his parachute pants? Depends.
I, Madman (1989)Too much flesh cut from the script.
Lawnmower Man (1992)VR Frankenstein's Monster sez "RRRRRRRR... Firewalls BAD!!!"
Creep (2014)Mark Duplass is why I avoid hugs
Gaslight (1944)IMDb says Thriller but really stealth Gothic
Watchers (1988)Schlock monster stalks genius dog. Two stars
Ouija Experiment 2: Theater of Death (2015) The purest expression of unnecessary meta sequel.
Night Train to Terror (1984)I assume the dancers came with satan
Before I Wake (2016) :still less scary than the 2016 elections
The purge: Election year (2016)Why aren't people stealing stuff, i would
V/H/S (2012)Surprisingly good use of found footage (occasionally).
The Golem (1920)Why waste clay on a stupid dreidel?
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)Dr.Frankenstein shoots his fiancé in the boob!
When Animals Dream (2014)Small town. Big secret. Things get hairy.
Phantasm Ravager (2016)The balls on this fuckin' guy, huh?
The Invitation (2015) Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf's death cult?
The ShallowsBlake's wonderful tiny bikini and a shark.
Halloween (2007)full frontals, rape, RZ magic getting R?
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)That was really funny and surprisingly sweet.
The Number 23 (2007)This Michael Jordan gambling biopic is weird.
Sleepwalkers (1992) - Stephen King MarathonWerecats, that classic monster from the 90's.
Freddy Return: A Nightmare Reborn (2009)Creative, if professionally undernourished, Freddy fan film.
The Dead Zone (1983)Walken with limp defeats Evil Jed Bartlet.
Deathdream (1974)Folks sure love killing John Marley's pets.
I Bury the Living (1958)No "Mr. Potter"s in town for experimenting?
Bleed (2016)Another regrettable choice made while browsing Netflix.
Braindead aka DeadAlive 1992 Best Zombie killing kick ass priest ever
Creep (2014)Hello? 24hr engraving? I need another one.
Green Room (2015)Imogen Poots, missing Anton, Stewart can walk?!?
Mirrors(2008)Patrick's go to movie practically every October.
A Horrible Way to Die (2010)Having your dick shoved down your throat.
Child's Play (1988)Drive faster..away from the back seat.
Darling (2015) Greatest horror of all: Cleaning the bathroom.
Species (1995)Single alien looking for a good time.
Dolly Dearest (1991)Mexico steals our evil doll manufacturing jobs. -or-Mattel'll have a field day with this.
Tales from the darkside (1990)Cat got your tongue? And the rest!
The Thing (1982)The hateful great(est) monster movie ever
The Shallows (2016)It's called 'Murderer Shark Beach.' Happy now?!
Phantasm II (1988)I'll say it-- I like LeGros' Mike. Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994) Sure, a homicidal Kevin McCallister? Why not?
Hush (2016)Couldn't a crossbow bolt break a window?
The InvitationBetter sales pitch than most juice cleanses
Stage FrightWaiting for the sequel with Kabuki Hamilton
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)Technically, delivered a nightmare on Elm Street.
PontypoolIt was really good for an hour. Too bad it was 93 minutes long.
III: The Ritual (2015) Freddy Krueger meets artsy European religious symbolism.
The Fly (1958)Learn to use that damn butterfly net!
Event Horizon 1997 Jason went to space! So did Hellraiser
The Cat and The Canary (1939):Never forget to check the secret passageways.
The Monster Squad (1987)Frankie! Why are we still standing here?
Tourist TrapMolly and I both have fake friends.
Young Frankenstein(1974)Eye-gor...Abby normal?!!! What the shit?!!!!!!
They (2002)A snoozer, you aughts not watch this.
Deathgasm (2016) Dir. Jason Lei HowdenNancy Reagan's worst fears come to life.
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood Well at least ... Yeah I got nothin'
Fright Night (2011) McLovin? Collette? Poots!? I think I like.
Wishing Stairs (2003)I'm lazy. Will wait for wishing elevator.
Just finished up the second time through Stranger Things since one of the kids wanted to watch it so I've got two, mostly because of the first …I'm not sure whether this counts. Shit. But just in case it does …The pollen from that monster is killer.
The Last Wave (1977)Not everything Criterion releases can be great.
Would You Rather (2012):James Wan's Clue remake is kinda lame.
Don't Breathe (2016)Thanksgiving will never be the same. #turkeybaster
Cursed (2005)I totally saw side boob on Greerwolf.
The Addams Family (1991)Hey And a Hey and a Hey
Theater of Blood (1973)Edward Lionheart would have hated Rotten Tomatoes.
The MutilatorBig Ed confuses vagina for a fish
Dead Silence (2006) Dir. James WanJust to steal Adam's "Wan direction" joke.
The Wicker Man (1973)I finally crossed this off the list.
VacancyNimrod Chekhoved up his Hitchcock real good.
Xtro (1982)Dennis Atherton's the architect of my pain.
Scream (1996)I see you Wes Craven, nice sweater
Devil (2010)Elevator should have been full of politicians.
The Aggression Scale (2012)We Need to Talk About Kevin McCallister
Sole SurvivorRemind me to never piss off Death.
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)A wonderful performance by a question mark.
Phantasm: Oblivion (1998)More like Phantasm: Introspection am I right?Phantasm: Ravager (2016)Makeup by KNB. CGI by Mario Paint.
Blair Witch (2016)Wicked woodsy walkabout with wonky walkie talkies.
We Are Still Here (2015)At least the property taxes are low!
Strip Nude For Your Killer (1975)How to cope with trauma: surprise anal
Vampire Academy (2014)Jesus wept as cinema hit its zenith
Psycho 2 (1983) You sure you won't have a sandwich?
We Are Still Here (2015)Barbara Crampton! Oh, and the movie's good.
Dressed to KillLove DePalma, wanted to love this more.
The Darkness (2016)A family is haunted by tedium. Likewise.
The Gorgon (1964)"Gorgon? Ha! More like BORE-gon!" Stone face.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)No thanks 1997...you keep the overalls!
Alexia (2013)Unfriended before Unfriended, but it's no Unfriended.
Most Likely To Die (2015)Gambling puns ahead! Best to fold now...
Housebound. How do you not know secret passages?
House Of 1000 Corpses (2003)
ReplyDeleteDr Satan- A hat wearing a hat
The Haunting (1963)
ReplyDeleteThe perils and maddness of home ownership.
Slugs (1988 - from the director of Pieces)
ReplyDeleteAlso exactly what you think it is
Son of Frankenstein (1939):
ReplyDeleteCommitting crimes against nature: a hereditary condition.
John Carpenter's The Ward (2010)
ReplyDeletePuts me In The Mouth Of Sadness
Halloween: Resurection (2008)
ReplyDeleteWu-tang maybe, but Kung-fu Busta? Come On!
The Phantom of the Paradise
ReplyDeleteGreat movie ruined by weird floating birds.
Birdemic- Shock and terror
ReplyDeleteTerrible movie, ruined by weird floating birds.
Pieces (1982)
ReplyDeleteThis movie is... exactly what I wanted.
Sleepwalkers
ReplyDeleteCats: the cute and furry bad asses
The Thing (1982)
ReplyDeleteEarliest example - paranoia and mistrust of Windows
Ginger Snaps (2001):
ReplyDeleteBut if I associated menstruation with lycanthropy...
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteAh screw it, I like this movie
The Vault of Horror (1973)
ReplyDeleteOffice building basement cemetaries are sooooo '70s.
'A Nightmare on Elm St 2: Freddy's Revenge' (1985)
ReplyDeleteAlternative title: Freddy and the Blue Oyster
Tales of Terror (1962)
ReplyDeletePoe fans will see the endings Corman'.
Under The Skin (2013)
ReplyDeleteEvidently Michael Myers taught her to drive
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
ReplyDeleteJust what the original lacked: exploding parakeets.
Candyman (1992)
ReplyDeleteMovie hooks you right from the beginning
Devils Rejects (2005)
ReplyDeleteFamily enjoys murder and tootie fuckin frutie
Cobra (1986)
ReplyDeleteNight Slasher wields the best knife ever.
also:
DeleteGeorge P. Cosmatos trope: cold-cocking authority figures
The Funhouse (1981)
ReplyDeleteWeird kid from 'Phenomena'? How you've grown!
IT (1990)
ReplyDeleteDoes Pennywise poop his parachute pants? Depends.
I, Madman (1989)
ReplyDeleteToo much flesh cut from the script.
Lawnmower Man (1992)
ReplyDeleteVR Frankenstein's Monster sez "RRRRRRRR... Firewalls BAD!!!"
Creep (2014)
ReplyDeleteMark Duplass is why I avoid hugs
Gaslight (1944)
ReplyDeleteIMDb says Thriller but really stealth Gothic
Watchers (1988)
ReplyDeleteSchlock monster stalks genius dog. Two stars
Ouija Experiment 2: Theater of Death (2015)
ReplyDeleteThe purest expression of unnecessary meta sequel.
Night Train to Terror (1984)
ReplyDeleteI assume the dancers came with satan
Before I Wake (2016) :
ReplyDeletestill less scary than the 2016 elections
The purge: Election year (2016)
ReplyDeleteWhy aren't people stealing stuff, i would
V/H/S (2012)
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly good use of found footage (occasionally).
The Golem (1920)
ReplyDeleteWhy waste clay on a stupid dreidel?
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
ReplyDeleteDr.Frankenstein shoots his fiancé in the boob!
When Animals Dream (2014)
ReplyDeleteSmall town. Big secret. Things get hairy.
Phantasm Ravager (2016)
ReplyDeleteThe balls on this fuckin' guy, huh?
The Invitation (2015)
ReplyDeleteWho's afraid of Virginia Woolf's death cult?
The Shallows
ReplyDeleteBlake's wonderful tiny bikini and a shark.
Halloween (2007)
ReplyDeletefull frontals, rape, RZ magic getting R?
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
ReplyDeleteThat was really funny and surprisingly sweet.
The Number 23 (2007)
ReplyDeleteThis Michael Jordan gambling biopic is weird.
Sleepwalkers (1992) - Stephen King Marathon
ReplyDeleteWerecats, that classic monster from the 90's.
Freddy Return: A Nightmare Reborn (2009)
ReplyDeleteCreative, if professionally undernourished, Freddy fan film.
The Dead Zone (1983)
ReplyDeleteWalken with limp defeats Evil Jed Bartlet.
Deathdream (1974)
ReplyDeleteFolks sure love killing John Marley's pets.
I Bury the Living (1958)
ReplyDeleteNo "Mr. Potter"s in town for experimenting?
Bleed (2016)
ReplyDeleteAnother regrettable choice made while browsing Netflix.
Braindead aka DeadAlive 1992
ReplyDeleteBest Zombie killing kick ass priest ever
Creep (2014)
ReplyDeleteHello? 24hr engraving? I need another one.
Green Room (2015)
ReplyDeleteImogen Poots, missing Anton, Stewart can walk?!?
Mirrors(2008)
ReplyDeletePatrick's go to movie practically every October.
A Horrible Way to Die (2010)
ReplyDeleteHaving your dick shoved down your throat.
Child's Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteDrive faster..away from the back seat.
Darling (2015)
ReplyDeleteGreatest horror of all: Cleaning the bathroom.
Species (1995)
ReplyDeleteSingle alien looking for a good time.
Dolly Dearest (1991)
ReplyDeleteMexico steals our evil doll manufacturing jobs.
-or-
Mattel'll have a field day with this.
Tales from the darkside (1990)
ReplyDeleteCat got your tongue? And the rest!
The Thing (1982)
ReplyDeleteThe hateful great(est) monster movie ever
The Shallows (2016)
ReplyDeleteIt's called 'Murderer Shark Beach.' Happy now?!
Phantasm II (1988)
ReplyDeleteI'll say it-- I like LeGros' Mike.
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)
Sure, a homicidal Kevin McCallister? Why not?
Hush (2016)
ReplyDeleteCouldn't a crossbow bolt break a window?
The Invitation
ReplyDeleteBetter sales pitch than most juice cleanses
Stage Fright
ReplyDeleteWaiting for the sequel with Kabuki Hamilton
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
ReplyDeleteTechnically, delivered a nightmare on Elm Street.
Pontypool
ReplyDeleteIt was really good for an hour. Too bad it was 93 minutes long.
III: The Ritual (2015)
ReplyDeleteFreddy Krueger meets artsy European religious symbolism.
The Fly (1958)
ReplyDeleteLearn to use that damn butterfly net!
Event Horizon 1997
ReplyDeleteJason went to space! So did Hellraiser
The Cat and The Canary (1939):
ReplyDeleteNever forget to check the secret passageways.
The Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeleteFrankie! Why are we still standing here?
Tourist Trap
ReplyDeleteMolly and I both have fake friends.
Young Frankenstein(1974)
ReplyDeleteEye-gor...Abby normal?!!! What the shit?!!!!!!
They (2002)
ReplyDeleteA snoozer, you aughts not watch this.
Deathgasm (2016) Dir. Jason Lei Howden
ReplyDeleteNancy Reagan's worst fears come to life.
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
ReplyDeleteWell at least ... Yeah I got nothin'
Fright Night (2011)
ReplyDeleteMcLovin? Collette? Poots!? I think I like.
Wishing Stairs (2003)
ReplyDeleteI'm lazy. Will wait for wishing elevator.
Just finished up the second time through Stranger Things since one of the kids wanted to watch it so I've got two, mostly because of the first …
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure whether this counts. Shit.
But just in case it does …
The pollen from that monster is killer.
The Last Wave (1977)
ReplyDeleteNot everything Criterion releases can be great.
Would You Rather (2012):
ReplyDeleteJames Wan's Clue remake is kinda lame.
Don't Breathe (2016)
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving will never be the same. #turkeybaster
Cursed (2005)
ReplyDeleteI totally saw side boob on Greerwolf.
The Addams Family (1991)
ReplyDeleteHey And a Hey and a Hey
Theater of Blood (1973)
ReplyDeleteEdward Lionheart would have hated Rotten Tomatoes.
The Mutilator
ReplyDeleteBig Ed confuses vagina for a fish
Dead Silence (2006) Dir. James Wan
ReplyDeleteJust to steal Adam's "Wan direction" joke.
The Wicker Man (1973)
ReplyDeleteI finally crossed this off the list.
Vacancy
ReplyDeleteNimrod Chekhoved up his Hitchcock real good.
Xtro (1982)
ReplyDeleteDennis Atherton's the architect of my pain.
Scream (1996)
ReplyDeleteI see you Wes Craven, nice sweater
Devil (2010)
ReplyDeleteElevator should have been full of politicians.
The Aggression Scale (2012)
ReplyDeleteWe Need to Talk About Kevin McCallister
Sole Survivor
ReplyDeleteRemind me to never piss off Death.
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteA wonderful performance by a question mark.
Phantasm: Oblivion (1998)
ReplyDeleteMore like Phantasm: Introspection am I right?
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)
Makeup by KNB. CGI by Mario Paint.
Blair Witch (2016)
ReplyDeleteWicked woodsy walkabout with wonky walkie talkies.
We Are Still Here (2015)
ReplyDeleteAt least the property taxes are low!
Strip Nude For Your Killer (1975)
ReplyDeleteHow to cope with trauma: surprise anal
Vampire Academy (2014)
ReplyDeleteJesus wept as cinema hit its zenith
Psycho 2 (1983)
ReplyDeleteYou sure you won't have a sandwich?
We Are Still Here (2015)
ReplyDeleteBarbara Crampton! Oh, and the movie's good.
Dressed to Kill
ReplyDeleteLove DePalma, wanted to love this more.
The Darkness (2016)
ReplyDeleteA family is haunted by tedium. Likewise.
The Gorgon (1964)
ReplyDelete"Gorgon? Ha! More like BORE-gon!" Stone face.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
ReplyDeleteNo thanks 1997...you keep the overalls!
Alexia (2013)
ReplyDeleteUnfriended before Unfriended, but it's no Unfriended.
Most Likely To Die (2015)
ReplyDeleteGambling puns ahead! Best to fold now...
Housebound. How do you not know secret passages?
ReplyDelete