WNUF Halloween Special (2013)Starts great, loses its novelty halfway through.
The Witch (2015) rewatchLucifer: just an extremely aggressive autograph hound?
Phantasm Ravager (2016)What do YOU think it means, boooooooy!?!?!
Axe (1974)aka California Axe Massacre, filmed in Charlotte.
Phantom of the Paradise (1974)Devil's user agreement less intrusive as Apple's.
The Raven (1935)Lugosi: stark raven mad, or just cuckoo?
Fender Bender (2016)The retro VHS version makes a difference!
What We Do In The Shadows (2014)I agree with Vladislav's theory on sandwiches.
Hellraiser 9: Revelations.That's not Pinhead. Need 4 more words.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)New MPAA rating: No one sober admitted.
Kuroneko (1968):In Japan, cats apparently give a fuck.
Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again (1982)Not scary, but it's a family favorite.
Misery (1990) Annie's a sharp shooter with that syringe
RoarNot violent enough? Watch the "making of"
Killer Klondike from Outer SpaceI've seen creepier clowns behind my school
Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1990):Won't be a surprise Junesploitation 2017 hit.
The Duel (1971)Falling Down, with a truck, but good.
Wolf Creek (2005)The most egregious continuity I've ever seenorThey really should have taken that gunorGood thing these nails don't have headsorJarratt is a poor man's Jim SideoworI just really don't like Wolf Creek
Evil Dead 2What the hell is a fruit cellar.
Dracula (1931)Does anyone know if possums carry rabies?
Drácula (Spanish Version) (1931)¿Alguien sabe si zarigüeyas tienen la rabia?
The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014)The Not-So-Great British Haunting Show.
Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)Clue with werewolves. Sounds good, huh? Wrong.
Pet Sematary:Angry undead kids are my Achillies heel.
The Thing (1982)Kurt Russell should administer all blood tests
Carrie (1976)Still a better prom experience than mine
Evil Dead (2013)Setting up future weapons early: The movie
Don't Breathe (2016)Turkey Basters make for an uncomfortable MacGuffin
The Funhouse (1981)Rob Zombie owes his aesthetic to Hooper.Intruder (1989)Sam Raimi's entourage makes a decent slasher.
Amusement (2008)Otherwise pointless film; clown's worth the ticket.
The Boneyard (1991)Every movie needs giant zombie Phyllis Diller.
Prison (1988)Climactic electrical rampage comes too late. Pass.
Mark of the Witch (1970)Zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz.
Hellraiser II: HellboundMatte paintings suggest Hell is vacation destination.
Cauldron: Baptism of Blood (2004) Oh, Ted Mikels, you and your fetishes.
Damien: Omen II (1978)The movie where Hollywood played a doctor.
Child's PlayGlad I didn't die in a sex shop
Deep Red (1975)"The only necklaces built to survive beheadings!"
Case 39 (2010):Exorcism? Nah! Child abuse, that's the solution!
The Reef (2010)Uhmmm...where were all the reef attacks!
The Fury (1978)Don't come a'knockin' when forehead veins a'throbbin'.
Ju-On: The Grudge (2002)One spirit's quest to bum a lozenge.
The Forest (2016)The Snore-est, The Bore-est... Other similar puns...
The Monster Squad (1987) Casual homophobia was perfectly acceptable in 1987.
Hellraiser (original movie)We have much....ahhhhh! My f-ing skin!Hellraiser (franchaise)We have much "stuff" to show you.
Alien (1979)Spaghetti clearly not a chestbursters favourite food
Misery (1990)Twitter incarnate hisses, "I'M YOURRR BIGGESSSST FAAAANNNN..."
Green Slime (1969)Original title (Martian Ejaculate) was considered offensive.Martian Ejaculate also a terrific ska band.
Cabin in the Woods (2012)This isn't scary, wait, is that fine?
Dead Silence (2007)Who knew dummies loved the "Oh Face"?
Baskin (2016)Well, that's 31 flavors of fucked up.
Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004)Palate Cleanser. No hooks. Intact skin. Good.
The House of the Devil (2009)Try best the devil in Barb jeans.
Eegah! (1962)Shaved caveman could have joined The Beatles.
The Cloth (2014) More exorcists should carry futuristic laser guns.
Pieces (1982)Students butchered by murdering bastard. Bastard! BASTARD!!
Dracula (1931)Dracula:Vampire and the Transylvanian James Bond
Demon knight 1995 Hey! Get that PUSSY off the table
Tales of Poe (2016)So ambitious. So many scream queens.
Psycho II (1983)Mother is alive! Then not so much.
Cujo (1983)Cujo's gone to a sematary upstate, honey.
Extreme Jukebox (2013) Heavy metal! Heavy metal! ...and some horror.
The Howling (1981)Film brought to you by Wolf Chili.
The Gift (2005) (Sorry if this doesn't count; Netflix told me it did):Smilie faces: A sign of being unhinged. :)
Deliver Us From Evil (2014)Horror film or just a Bronx documentary?
Shark Lake (2016)"Jaws" + "Rocky IV" + No Budget = Suck Ass
The Sacrament (2013)Did you read their no guests policy?
High Rise (2015)Grocery store blocks away... nah dog's tasty
Pandorum (2009): This space flick put me to hypersleep.
The Editor (2014) Amusing, but so very, very, very long.
Cabin Fever (2002)No Mr. Feeny to help these kids.
Dracula 2000Jennifer Esposito made me a man. Twice.
Event Horizon (1997)We're leaving Baby Bear. Leaving to Hell!
Dreamcatcher (2003) - Stephen King MarathonDid Doug provide its farting foley work?
Don't Blink (2014)And just like that, poof, they're gone.
House of 1000 corpses (2003). Should have just watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Greetings (2007) Dinner party's boring, even with demonic possession.
House (1986) Watched on youtube. top notch video quality, but dubbed over in French.French, I understand, but hate dubbed films.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)Flesh puppet Phillip is so goddamn twisted.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991):You think Lecter draws his own porn?
The Amityville Horror (2005)All work and no HEY IT'S DEADPOOL!
The Suckling a.k.a Sewage Baby (1990)Brothel/abortion clinic + mutated fetus slasher = FUN!!andIt'll bring out the kid in you!
The Omen (1976)Seven holy knives? Got a holy gun?
1408(2007)Where's room service when you need them?
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)It seems more like an animal holocaust.
Cannibal Ferox (1981)A crappier version of aforementioned animal holocaust.
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988):Could use a magical virgin Jane Seymour.
Disturbing Behavior (1998):Cyclops, the early years, doing X-Files
Pet SemeteryNo dolls were harmed making this movie.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael MyersJamie's Great! But...I miss Tom Atkins.
Near Dark (1987):Learn to kill! It's easy after awhile!
Spring (2015)Immortal Monster! Italian women are the best!
THE FUNHOUSE (1981)Patrick Bromley: he knows what he's doing.
Brainscan (1994)Not dated. Not even a little bit.
The Mist (2007)Grinning spiders? Spiders weren't genuinely creepy already?
The Blob (1988)Dude gets sucked down a fucking sink!
Tourist Trap (1979)Most fucked up episode of American Pickers.
Stephen King's It (1990)Made-for-TV gangbangs wisely not attempted.
The New York Ripper 1982Watching this movie sets feminism back decades.
Rogue (2007). We're gonna need a bigger island.
Creepshow 2Didn't know Holt McCallany is Native American.
Scream 4 (2011)Scream now with 4 times the stabbing.
Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon (1973) Boring, ugly movie hides behind sensationalistic title.
The Final Terror (1983)Lowest kill ratio of any slasher ever
Manhunter (1986)Mirror murderer? Home invader? Nah, Tooth Fairy.
Raising Cain (Theatrical Version) (1992)Lithgow and De Palma's fractured fairy tale.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)Blood, sex, sadness, and some nice laughs.
Deliverance (1972)Down south, ain't nobody hear you squeal.
The Mummy (1959)Gene Shalit: "British embalming isn't horror bomb!"
The Monster Squad (1987)Only silver bullets can kill a werewolf
28 Weeks Later (2007)So that's why they call them "choppers"
Dracula (1931)Blu has an alternate score. Philip Glass!!!
Deadly Blessing (1981)We miss you, Wes.
And always will.
Inland Empire 2006First movie I disagree with Patrick on.
Kairo (aka Pulse) (2001)Slow burner. The ghosts have no home.
The Dead Zone (1983) Cronenberg gone mild! King predicts 2016 elections!
Psycho (1960)... Who just spoils Bates motel like that?!?
Psycho II (1983)Perkins' > Norman Bates = Cuddliest serial killer ever!!!
The Beyond (Composer's Cut)Do not entry unless Frizzi's playing live!
The Beyond (1981)Spiders, dogs, red haired girls are dicks.
Fright Night (1985)Roddy's sprayed hair is my spirit animal.
Monster SquadWhy wasn't Tom Noonan wearing any makeup?
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)Proof Disney didn't always do effects well.
Slugs (1988)Too strong for salt, or theatres
The Beyond (1981)As if I didn't already hate spiders...
WNUF Halloween Special (2013)
ReplyDeleteStarts great, loses its novelty halfway through.
The Witch (2015) rewatch
ReplyDeleteLucifer: just an extremely aggressive autograph hound?
Phantasm Ravager (2016)
ReplyDeleteWhat do YOU think it means, boooooooy!?!?!
Axe (1974)
ReplyDeleteaka California Axe Massacre, filmed in Charlotte.
Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
ReplyDeleteDevil's user agreement less intrusive as Apple's.
The Raven (1935)
ReplyDeleteLugosi: stark raven mad, or just cuckoo?
Fender Bender (2016)
ReplyDeleteThe retro VHS version makes a difference!
What We Do In The Shadows (2014)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Vladislav's theory on sandwiches.
Hellraiser 9: Revelations.
ReplyDeleteThat's not Pinhead. Need 4 more words.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
ReplyDeleteNew MPAA rating: No one sober admitted.
Kuroneko (1968):
ReplyDeleteIn Japan, cats apparently give a fuck.
Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again (1982)
ReplyDeleteNot scary, but it's a family favorite.
Misery (1990)
ReplyDeleteAnnie's a sharp shooter with that syringe
Roar
ReplyDeleteNot violent enough? Watch the "making of"
Killer Klondike from Outer Space
ReplyDeleteI've seen creepier clowns behind my school
Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1990):
ReplyDeleteWon't be a surprise Junesploitation 2017 hit.
The Duel (1971)
ReplyDeleteFalling Down, with a truck, but good.
Wolf Creek (2005)
ReplyDeleteThe most egregious continuity I've ever seen
or
They really should have taken that gun
or
Good thing these nails don't have heads
or
Jarratt is a poor man's Jim Sideow
or
I just really don't like Wolf Creek
Evil Dead 2
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell is a fruit cellar.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know if possums carry rabies?
Drácula (Spanish Version) (1931)
ReplyDelete¿Alguien sabe si zarigüeyas tienen la rabia?
The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014)
ReplyDeleteThe Not-So-Great British Haunting Show.
Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)
ReplyDeleteClue with werewolves. Sounds good, huh? Wrong.
Pet Sematary:
ReplyDeleteAngry undead kids are my Achillies heel.
The Thing (1982)
ReplyDeleteKurt Russell should administer all blood tests
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteStill a better prom experience than mine
Evil Dead (2013)
ReplyDeleteSetting up future weapons early: The movie
Don't Breathe (2016)
ReplyDeleteTurkey Basters make for an uncomfortable MacGuffin
The Funhouse (1981)
ReplyDeleteRob Zombie owes his aesthetic to Hooper.
Intruder (1989)
Sam Raimi's entourage makes a decent slasher.
Amusement (2008)
ReplyDeleteOtherwise pointless film; clown's worth the ticket.
The Boneyard (1991)
ReplyDeleteEvery movie needs giant zombie Phyllis Diller.
Prison (1988)
ReplyDeleteClimactic electrical rampage comes too late. Pass.
Mark of the Witch (1970)
ReplyDeleteZzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz.
Hellraiser II: Hellbound
ReplyDeleteMatte paintings suggest Hell is vacation destination.
Cauldron: Baptism of Blood (2004)
ReplyDeleteOh, Ted Mikels, you and your fetishes.
Damien: Omen II (1978)
ReplyDeleteThe movie where Hollywood played a doctor.
Child's Play
ReplyDeleteGlad I didn't die in a sex shop
Deep Red (1975)
ReplyDelete"The only necklaces built to survive beheadings!"
Case 39 (2010):
ReplyDeleteExorcism? Nah! Child abuse, that's the solution!
The Reef (2010)
ReplyDeleteUhmmm...where were all the reef attacks!
The Fury (1978)
ReplyDeleteDon't come a'knockin' when forehead veins a'throbbin'.
Ju-On: The Grudge (2002)
ReplyDeleteOne spirit's quest to bum a lozenge.
The Forest (2016)
ReplyDeleteThe Snore-est, The Bore-est... Other similar puns...
The Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeleteCasual homophobia was perfectly acceptable in 1987.
Hellraiser (original movie)
ReplyDeleteWe have much....ahhhhh! My f-ing skin!
Hellraiser (franchaise)
We have much "stuff" to show you.
Alien (1979)
ReplyDeleteSpaghetti clearly not a chestbursters favourite food
Misery (1990)
ReplyDeleteTwitter incarnate hisses, "I'M YOURRR BIGGESSSST FAAAANNNN..."
Green Slime (1969)
ReplyDeleteOriginal title (Martian Ejaculate) was considered offensive.
Martian Ejaculate also a terrific ska band.
Cabin in the Woods (2012)
ReplyDeleteThis isn't scary, wait, is that fine?
Dead Silence (2007)
ReplyDeleteWho knew dummies loved the "Oh Face"?
Baskin (2016)
ReplyDeleteWell, that's 31 flavors of fucked up.
Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004)
ReplyDeletePalate Cleanser. No hooks. Intact skin. Good.
The House of the Devil (2009)
ReplyDeleteTry best the devil in Barb jeans.
Eegah! (1962)
ReplyDeleteShaved caveman could have joined The Beatles.
The Cloth (2014)
ReplyDeleteMore exorcists should carry futuristic laser guns.
Pieces (1982)
ReplyDeleteStudents butchered by murdering bastard. Bastard! BASTARD!!
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteDracula:Vampire and the Transylvanian James Bond
Demon knight 1995
ReplyDeleteHey! Get that PUSSY off the table
Tales of Poe (2016)
ReplyDeleteSo ambitious. So many scream queens.
Psycho II (1983)
ReplyDeleteMother is alive! Then not so much.
Cujo (1983)
ReplyDeleteCujo's gone to a sematary upstate, honey.
Extreme Jukebox (2013)
ReplyDeleteHeavy metal! Heavy metal! ...and some horror.
The Howling (1981)
ReplyDeleteFilm brought to you by Wolf Chili.
The Gift (2005) (Sorry if this doesn't count; Netflix told me it did):
ReplyDeleteSmilie faces: A sign of being unhinged. :)
Deliver Us From Evil (2014)
ReplyDeleteHorror film or just a Bronx documentary?
Shark Lake (2016)
ReplyDelete"Jaws" + "Rocky IV" + No Budget = Suck Ass
The Sacrament (2013)
ReplyDeleteDid you read their no guests policy?
High Rise (2015)
ReplyDeleteGrocery store blocks away... nah dog's tasty
Pandorum (2009): This space flick put me to hypersleep.
ReplyDeleteThe Editor (2014)
ReplyDeleteAmusing, but so very, very, very long.
Cabin Fever (2002)
ReplyDeleteNo Mr. Feeny to help these kids.
Dracula 2000
ReplyDeleteJennifer Esposito made me a man. Twice.
Event Horizon (1997)
ReplyDeleteWe're leaving Baby Bear. Leaving to Hell!
Dreamcatcher (2003) - Stephen King Marathon
ReplyDeleteDid Doug provide its farting foley work?
Don't Blink (2014)
ReplyDeleteAnd just like that, poof, they're gone.
House of 1000 corpses (2003).
ReplyDeleteShould have just watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Greetings (2007)
ReplyDeleteDinner party's boring, even with demonic possession.
House (1986) Watched on youtube. top notch video quality, but dubbed over in French.
ReplyDeleteFrench, I understand, but hate dubbed films.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
ReplyDeleteFlesh puppet Phillip is so goddamn twisted.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991):
ReplyDeleteYou think Lecter draws his own porn?
The Amityville Horror (2005)
ReplyDeleteAll work and no HEY IT'S DEADPOOL!
The Suckling a.k.a Sewage Baby (1990)
ReplyDeleteBrothel/abortion clinic + mutated fetus slasher = FUN!!
and
It'll bring out the kid in you!
The Omen (1976)
ReplyDeleteSeven holy knives? Got a holy gun?
1408(2007)
ReplyDeleteWhere's room service when you need them?
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
ReplyDeleteIt seems more like an animal holocaust.
Cannibal Ferox (1981)
ReplyDeleteA crappier version of aforementioned animal holocaust.
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988):
ReplyDeleteCould use a magical virgin Jane Seymour.
Disturbing Behavior (1998):
ReplyDeleteCyclops, the early years, doing X-Files
Pet Semetery
ReplyDeleteNo dolls were harmed making this movie.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
ReplyDeleteJamie's Great! But...I miss Tom Atkins.
Near Dark (1987):
ReplyDeleteLearn to kill! It's easy after awhile!
Spring (2015)
ReplyDeleteImmortal Monster! Italian women are the best!
THE FUNHOUSE (1981)
ReplyDeletePatrick Bromley: he knows what he's doing.
Brainscan (1994)
ReplyDeleteNot dated. Not even a little bit.
The Mist (2007)
ReplyDeleteGrinning spiders? Spiders weren't genuinely creepy already?
The Blob (1988)
ReplyDeleteDude gets sucked down a fucking sink!
Tourist Trap (1979)
ReplyDeleteMost fucked up episode of American Pickers.
Stephen King's It (1990)
ReplyDeleteMade-for-TV gangbangs wisely not attempted.
The New York Ripper 1982
ReplyDeleteWatching this movie sets feminism back decades.
Rogue (2007). We're gonna need a bigger island.
ReplyDeleteCreepshow 2
ReplyDeleteDidn't know Holt McCallany is Native American.
Scream 4 (2011)
ReplyDeleteScream now with 4 times the stabbing.
Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon (1973)
ReplyDeleteBoring, ugly movie hides behind sensationalistic title.
The Final Terror (1983)
ReplyDeleteLowest kill ratio of any slasher ever
Manhunter (1986)
ReplyDeleteMirror murderer? Home invader? Nah, Tooth Fairy.
Raising Cain (Theatrical Version) (1992)
ReplyDeleteLithgow and De Palma's fractured fairy tale.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
ReplyDeleteBlood, sex, sadness, and some nice laughs.
Deliverance (1972)
ReplyDeleteDown south, ain't nobody hear you squeal.
The Mummy (1959)
ReplyDeleteGene Shalit: "British embalming isn't horror bomb!"
The Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeleteOnly silver bullets can kill a werewolf
28 Weeks Later (2007)
ReplyDeleteSo that's why they call them "choppers"
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteBlu has an alternate score. Philip Glass!!!
Deadly Blessing (1981)
ReplyDeleteWe miss you, Wes.
And always will.
DeleteInland Empire 2006
ReplyDeleteFirst movie I disagree with Patrick on.
Kairo (aka Pulse) (2001)
ReplyDeleteSlow burner. The ghosts have no home.
The Dead Zone (1983)
ReplyDeleteCronenberg gone mild! King predicts 2016 elections!
Psycho (1960)
ReplyDelete... Who just spoils Bates motel like that?!?
Psycho II (1983)
ReplyDeletePerkins' > Norman Bates = Cuddliest serial killer ever!!!
The Beyond (Composer's Cut)
ReplyDeleteDo not entry unless Frizzi's playing live!
The Beyond (1981)
ReplyDeleteSpiders, dogs, red haired girls are dicks.
Fright Night (1985)
ReplyDeleteRoddy's sprayed hair is my spirit animal.
Monster Squad
ReplyDeleteWhy wasn't Tom Noonan wearing any makeup?
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)
ReplyDeleteProof Disney didn't always do effects well.
Slugs (1988)
ReplyDeleteToo strong for salt, or theatres
The Beyond (1981)
ReplyDeleteAs if I didn't already hate spiders...