Everything's ok. I'm here.
As I continue into week two of whatever the hell illness I have, allow me to live vicariously through all of you and tell me what you're all going out to see. Or at least watching at home. Or wanting to watch or talk about.
Also, I hope one of you is good with Photoshop because I mean come on.
So... there aren't a lot of movies I've seen in recent years that stir up a severe negative reaction in me. Apathy or disappointment are typically about as bad as things usually get for me. I tend to do a good job of staying away from stuff I know I really won't like and even if something gets recommended to me and I end up not liking it there's usually at least something I can get out of it.
ReplyDeleteSometimes though you just feel like watching something you've never heard of, and so it was that I came across "Landmine Goes Click" on Amazon Prime. 3 1/2 stars on Amazon, 6.2 on IMDB, I figured it's got to be at least watchable unlike some of the absolute worst stuff on Prime. The movie starts off with an interesting premise: a soon to be married couple and the best man on vacation in the Republic of Georgia are out in the wilderness and one of them ends up standing on a landmine which will likely blow up if he moves. Things get worse when someone happens to come across them and takes advantage of the situation.
The movie was filmed in the Republic of Georgia and writer/director Levan Bakhia is from there as well as are some of the cast. While this obviously isn't a big budget movie and takes place largely in two locations which don't require elaborate sets, the movie generally seems to be well-made. Some of the performances aren't great although there's only one I'd call outright bad. Kote Tolordava does a job as the villain of the movie although tragically he apparently died of a heart attack at 35 the same year this movie released. Plot-wise there are some odd decisions, particularly in regards to a twist in the set-up that never really gets picked back up later, but I as I said I do think the general premise is interesting.
The problem is that this becomes one of the most mean-spirited movies I've ever seen, particularly in how it treats the female cast. I'm going to resist spoiling anything just in case someone here feels they have the emotional fortitude to get through this, but two of the three women appearing in this movie get treated horribly and a lot of the suspense involved is the extraordinary amount of time spent building up to what happens to them. One of them is expected just based on the premise of the movie, but things take a turn in the last half hour that just feel even worse.
I don't know if it's just the buildup that bothered me, or if it's because ultimately all the men get out of the movie with a few wounds at worst. They're only hurt in that they have to watch women they are close to humiliated, molested/raped, or killed. I've watched plenty of horror so I'm not overly sensitive to it and the movie isn't especially graphic but it got to me. Maybe that was the point and the filmmaker is getting the exact emotional reaction out of me he was going for but I didn't enjoy sitting through it. I only stuck it out for the whole thing to see if there was some kind of payoff to it all that would make sense. I guess the payoff was just me feeling disturbed.
Hope you start feeling better Patrick!
Watched True Romance based on last week's I Stream, You Stream recommendation. After reading Patrick's review I understand the appeal, but the movie did not resonate with me.
ReplyDeleteI expect to head down to the local discount theater over the next few days; the current playbill includes LA LA Land, John Wick: Chapter 2, The LEGO Batman Movie, Hidden Figures, Split, and The Great Wall. Also interested in seeing The Circle next weekend.
Lately I have enjoyed watching CinemaSins videos on YouTube. Favorite recurring themes are the dislike of production logos, reading, narration, exposition, "You're going to want to see this" cliché, convenient-plot-point-is-convenient, and some variation of deus ex machina.
Yesterday was my last day of Amazon Prime. So I decided I wanted to go with something special, that I won't be able to find on Netflix or Hulu. Naturally, I chose Sweet Sixteen. I remember Patrick had recommended it on I Stream a few months back, and had never heard of it otherwise. And it certainly is something else. The characters are all paper thin, yet completely enjoyable. The kills are awful, just a POV shot, followed by a little stabbing that may or may not be framed in the shot. The reveal of the killer is clunky and obvious, but the reasoning totally batshit. But best of all, there is a slow-mo shot of a girl blowing out candles that is completely random, and totally embarrassing. I guess what I'm saying is I loved it.
ReplyDeleteAnyone seen Werner Herzog's Into the Inferno? While Netflix debuts are cool, and I'm glad I could see it there, the movie totally came and went and no one saw it. It is as good as Herzog's best documentary work, and as usual, starts in one place and ends up somewhere totally different. If this had a traditional release I think people would be talking about it like Grizzly Man, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, Encounters at the End of the World, etc. Don't miss it!
ReplyDeleteI saw this on my FB feed and feel like if I do it, I realistically have a 1 in 5 chance of winning.
ReplyDeleteAMC Stubs Members - buy Baywatch Movie tix now through 4/30 & you'll be entered for a chance to win a trip to the premiere in Miami AND meet the cast! Dive in & get tix now
Who would get more annoyed by constant compliments first, the Rock or Alexandra Daddario?
DeleteZac Efron
DeleteSitting on a train on my way to the nation's capital for a horror festival all-nighter. Gonna see Dead & Buried, Cold Hell, Eyes of My Mother, Meatball Machine Kodoku and Hypersomnia.
ReplyDeleteIt's been slow on the theatrical release front here in Finland for a few weeks, but of course the weekend of the festival, four movies I want to see all come out at the same time. Saw The Belko Experiment yesterday, still need to see Your Name, Free Fire and The Unknown Girl. And GotG2 comes out on Wednesday!
Ok, it's 9 am, I'm sitting in an almost desolate bus terminal waiting for the bus home from the festival, and feeling tired and a little surreal. A passer-by's ringtone sounded ominous to me and for a split second I was actually waiting for something gruesome to happen. Maybe I should stay off horror movies for a little while. Like... a day.
DeleteI've been catching up on some incredible new horror lately!
ReplyDeleteThe Devil's Candy - Might be my 2nd favorite movie of the year (behind Get Out). I loved this movie! It was so much fun, but what really made it is the characters. I loved this family and I cared so much about them that the movie was crazy intense for me.
The Blackcoat's Daughter - I think I'm regaining my ability to be scared by movies. This movie was haunting and terrifying. There was a moment where I considered turning it off because I was so scared. That never happens! I loved it.
The Love Witch - Beautiful and fascinating. What a brilliant film. It's also the most interesting thing I've ever seen about gender politics. Really bold and boundary-pushing things to say. Impressive!
The Void - Great effects, but very little else there. Didn't care about the characters, but damn those creatures look awesome. Worth a watch for that!
Paterson - Well, it's not horror. Just a movie about a normal guy who loves poetry and his normal life. It's really delightful guys. Adam Driver is so crazy talented.
P.S. If Patrick and Heather started a weekly off-shoot podcast I would cry tears of joy. Just... sayin'...
I'm hoping to catch Free Fire this weekend. For some reason everything in that trailer just gets me hooked. Anyone seen it yet?
ReplyDeleteHas anyone seen the new Netflix show Girlboss?
ReplyDelete"I just want to go to work and come home and not be angry". Adam Riske
ReplyDeleteThis is a saying to live by, it's my new favourite quote, I want it on a t shirt @RiskeRocks
You are very nice. I will keep the quotes coming in order for your shirt business to thrive.
DeleteWhen I heard that, I was like, "me, too, man. Meeeee, too."
DeleteMy favorite aspirational Riske quote will always be "There's nothing better than consent". Put that on a t-shirt.
DeleteI like "I don't like to be touched"....That was a funny and distraught anecdote about what must have been quite uncomfortable (f this summer 2014 episode).
DeleteI remember that, the guy in the cinema, yes that was funny, uncomfortable but funny
DeleteWent on an Edgar Wright binge this morning with Scott Pilgrim, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. So yeah, it's been a good day.
ReplyDeleteWill probably catch We Are the Flesh which hit Shudder this week.
Free Fire actually coming to my neck of the woods, so will make the trek for that next week.
I've never done this before, and it's not very good, but is this the sort of thing Patrick had in mind? Maybe don't show it to Lady Brom.
ReplyDeleteI had to join motherfuckin' Twitter so I could link this bastard photograph to F This Movie!. I hope the effort is appreciated. Two flamin' hours I've spent.
That's dope.
DeleteThanks, Will. I did the other one as well. I'm a mouse on a roll. I did actually have that in a KFC once. The court case is pending.
DeleteSaw Jean Cocteau's 1946 Beauty And The Beast for the first time, a bar near me with a small movie theatre was playing it. Friggen magical. It's strange how any movie before the 80s somehow seems like it'll be work to watch but almost never is. In the spirit of that I started digging into The Thin Man series. Friggen delightful.
ReplyDelete"Magical" is really the perfect word for that film!
DeleteYeah, it's not a word I use to describe anything really but it's exactly how I felt the whole time the movie was playing. It's the rare movie that made me feel like I used to as a kid when movies were always amazing.
DeleteFinally saw "Rings" and man was that rough. What a chore to get through and it commits almost all of the Horror film sins I have talked about before.
ReplyDeleteWatched an indie, Found Footage anthology called "The Dark Tapes". Even though I generally can't stand the Found Footage genre, this was decent enough and the filmmakers seemed to care about what they were doing. None of the stories are boring and actually most of them added a nice take on what at face value looked liked typical fare for the genre. A couple of the actors were decent as well.
I keep putting my replies in the wrong place. I shall try again.
DeleteIt's unrelated, but I read the word "tapes" in connection to a horror movie and my mind instantly went to The Stone Tape, a 1972 televised play written by Quatermass creator Nigel Kneale. It's really good and super-scary, venturing into Lovecraftian territory towards the end.
You can watch the entire ninety-minute thing on Youtube here if you're of a mind to.
I'm going to try to watch another 1972 offering this evening: Death Line (released as Raw Meat in the US) starring Donald Pleasence and Christopher Lee.
Stone Tape is pretty good. I've got it on a dvd double feature with Ghostwatch.
DeleteI saw Ghostwatch when it originally aired live on British telly when I was a mere pup. Most of us have a moment in our life when we realise grownups are not the omniscient deities we previously thought them to be. The hysterical reaction to this programme was such a moment for me. People actually thought it was real and ghosts existed.
DeleteThe original The Woman in Black, since remade with Daniel Radcliffe, is worth checking out if you haven't seen... ah, who am I kidding? I know you must have watched it, Chaybee.
By the way, Ghostwatch co-presenter Mike "Smitty" Smith died in 2014, supposedly from complications following major heart surgery.
DeleteHas the "Curse of Ghostwatch" claimed its first victim?
Yes. Yes it has.
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ReplyDeleteHaven't posted on one of these things in a while, but this week I saw some great stuff.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I revisited The Aviator this week and I'm still not sure how I feel about that movie. It has great moments, but there are certain things I can put my finger on that irk me in some way. With every passing day I like Cate Blanchett more, and her performance is great, but I'm not sure it belongs in every scene of the movie.
Second, Tower is a fantastic documentary that just appeared on netflix. It does so many new things with archival footage, interviews, actor reenactments, and animation. It's very moving and worth going in relativity blind.
Win It All is another new Netflix addition that I caught this week. Adam and Rob's piece on this is spot on, but I actually think I liked it more then they did. Jake Johnson gives a performance that is perfect for him.
Finally, today was a What We Do in the Shadows kind of day, and if you haven't caught it yet, do so now. Delightfully approachable for horror fans and non-horror people alike.
What We Do In The Shadows very quickly became one of those movies I can watch anytime, anywhere, even just watching 15 minute chunks. Delightful describes it perfectly.
DeletePatrick, what did you think of the rotoscoping effect in Tower? I found it a little gimmicky and distracting. Ultimately the story and interviews were so horrible and powerful I got past it though. Definitely worth watching.
DeleteIt takes getting used to, but I thought it worked. There wasn't much archive footage so the fact that they committed to it added substance. It made the reveal of the actual people at the end have more weight in my opinion.
DeleteIt was somewhat buried in comments earlier this week, but I was glad to see some love for Father Ted, and especially Alan Partridge. (Okay, I know it's TV, not movies, but close)
ReplyDeleteMy Best Picture watch made it to a rewatch of A Beautiful Mind. The history remains terrible, the thriller aspect is middling except for informing his mental problems, but the acting is still good. Nowhere close to best picture of 2001 and not even especially good.
ReplyDeleteI've a soft spot for Russell Crowe, and Jennifer Connelly, (are you reading? please marry me, I'll treat you sweet)...Naw, not a best picture (it won that?), but something I rewatch frequently.
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Deletei saw Free Fire earlier today. it is great. more accessible than previous ben wheatley work, but still well situated in his filmography
ReplyDeleteDid a weird, spur of the moment triple feature last night.
ReplyDeleteWatched 'The Big Store' first, one of the Marx bros. later films. I find it impossible not to enjoy these movies, but 'The Big Store' definitely has it's dead patches and a lot of reallllyyy long song and dance numbers. I will say though that the random chick that sings 'Rockabye Baby' in the middle of one of them completely dead pan goes on so long as to elevate the joke to a whole new level. I really need to see their earlier Paramount stuff, I've only got the MGM films recorded. I have seen Duck Soup which is sooo good.
Then watched 'Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.' It's hard to get past the gender stuff in that film which is fuckedddd up (especially love the number about the Sabine women, in which they conveniently skate over the fact that incident was called the 'Rape of the Sabines'). But goddammit the dancing is great, it's athletic and colourful and that Sabine number is catchy. A product of it's times I suppose?
Finished it off with a rewatch of It Follows. Love how many levels that film works on, can be read as commentary on how sex works in horror films, the way trauma works, the whole inevitability of death thing (which makes the last shot of the film especially effective, when you consider the recurring image of the children). Anyway, I suppose we all know it's great by now.
The F8 of the Furious podcast this week was soooooooo good by the way, one of my favourites I think. Hope you feel better Patrick!
Watched Free Fire this weekend, and it unfortunately did not work at all for me. Sort of hoping for some dark comedy/action, and it feels like I missed it? I'm thinking that perhaps Ben Wheatley just isn't my taste, since I found High Rise to be uneven.
ReplyDeleteben wheatley make a very different kind of movie, not everybody like his stuff. it's not your typical, by the number, american movie
DeleteYeah, totally agree. I feel like I'm having a hard time appreciating what he does well; I want to see what people like about his stuff. I listened to an interview of his, and he seems like a thoughtful, conscientious fella, and so I sort of want to like what he's doing.
DeleteHigh Rise didn't really click for me but I loved the visuals of the movie and Luke Evans performance. Kill List seriously messed me up for a few days, I don't know if I would watch it again but for some reason it really affected me.
DeleteI agree that I really want to like his stuff. I'm still excited to see what he does in the future though.
My sister finally pinned me down to watch Kung Fu Panda last night (easier because I'm sick). But WOW, what incredible messages! So beautiful and profound. I was super impressed.
ReplyDeleteMy other sister is watching First Wives Club this morning. That movie just gets better as I get older. It's as an adult that I truly understand why they had to go a step further, a step beyond themselves, and make a clinic for women. Plus the script ONLY MAKES MORE SENSE THE OLDER YOU GET! Which makes it all the more awesome.
BTW K Stew reminds me of a girl I briefly dated in college. I don't relate to KStew, I didn't relate to her, but I wanted to date her as did almost every other gay and straight girl in our school, single or not. And probably all the guys, who knows.
I was in the mood for a horror anthology, so put on Cradle of Fear. It's long at two hours, and looks to have been made for about four quid. Emily Booth is in it, but sadly only appears in the first segment. She gets nekkid, though, and has big natural boobage for all of you who like that. I'm on a mission from God to generate some F This Movie! love for this lady.
ReplyDeleteThere's a paedophilic descendent of Aleister Crowley called Kemper; there's amputees; there's laptops the size of the stone tablets Charlton Heston humped down from Mount Sinai in The Ten Commandments; there's some Hostel-esque snuff; there's a dwarf; there's decapitation by shotgun; there's bad CGI; and in case I forgot to mention it, there's a naked Emily Booth.
Can't say I'm familiar with Emily Booth but your enthusiasm for seeing her nude makes a convinving argument for watching this (plus you said some other things).
DeleteI went through a period a little over ten years ago where I used to listen to the soundtrack to this movie nearly every day.
DeleteI watched the Lost City of Z this weekend, and enjoyed it quite a bit. It's a very old-fashioned adventure movie in many ways, but it had a lot of problems with pacing. It's in an odd place where both the characters and the audience are just plodding along until the story can get back to the jungle again.
ReplyDeleteI also watched My Cousin Vinny for the first time and was bummed that there wasn't a podcast about it. All I knew about the movie going in was "movie they show lawyers to show them how a trial works" and "Marisa Tomei may not have actually won the Oscar". I thought the acting was great, but I can't believe this movie has a reputation as being realistic. But it was still a lot of fun, really enjoyed it.
I watched Clueless again this weekend and it's still a wonderful comedy that also functions as a '90s slang time capsule. I love it.
ReplyDeleteWatched Buffalo 66. I thought it might be abstract but it was brutally honest, clear and instructive. I think you have to be really insightful to know how to make such a brutally honest film. For me personally it's only through this kind of honest reflection that change is possible, or even meaningful. So...when he remembered that HOT at the end...that was amazing. I love this movie so much. Thank you, FTM!!
ReplyDeleteMy second favorite movie of all time; I think there's a backlash against this one, because of the negative real-life perception of Vincent Gallo in general, and maybe because it's an easy movie to misinterpret, but I think it's a real masterpiece.
DeleteI agree it's a masterpiece. It's so meticulously crafted. I think he's a genius. Too bad about the other stuff but that's life. I think perception matters. You can't control it but you can try to be a really good person. It's wise not to piss too many people off.
DeleteIf you don't mind my asking, Excalibur Shows A Definite Deterioration, what's your number one favourite movie of all time? I hope it's Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, although that would be a pretty big coincidence. I picked up a VHS copy (then took it to the till, had a brief conversation with the cashier about the weather, and paid for it) in a charity shop earlier today and plan to watch it for the first time this evening.
Delete