Friday, May 26, 2017

I Stream, You Stream Vol. 33

by Patrick Bromley
Some good indie horror, a Bond tribute and the first day of #Junesploitation make up this week's streaming picks.

Clown (2014, dir. Jon Watts) Did you guys see that Spider-Man: Homecoming poster this week? Garbage, right? I'm on to something. Before you see if Marvel can salvage my favorite superhero of all time, check out Homecoming director Jon Watts' debut movie Clown. It's based on a fake trailer that was made in 2010 claiming to be produced by Eli Roth, who was so impressed with the results that he agreed to actually become a producer and turn Clown into a real movie. Though it was shelved for a while, the finished film is pretty decent, with a willingness to see its main idea through and to get pretty dark and nasty. (Watch on Netflix)
The Girl With All the Gifts (2017, dir. Colm McCarthy) 2017 has been a good year for independent and smaller horror movies; even when they're not masterpieces, they're totally worth seeing. This new spin on the tired zombie genre, based on a young adult novel of the same name, falls perfectly into that category. I'm not sure it's going to make my 10 favorites of the year, but I would tell any horror fan to see it. Set in a post-apocalyptic future, the movie takes a few new and interesting liberties with common zombie lore and ends up in a place you probably can't expect from where the movie starts. Throw in some strong performances and a surprising emotional impact and you've got a horror movie well worth checking out. (Watch on Amazon Prime Video)
No Such Thing (2002, dir. Hal Hartley) I feel like most people are either Hal Hartley fans or they're not, but his 2002 sci-fi/horror satire No Such Thing (originally called Monster) puts even fans to the test. It might also be my favorite Hal Hartley movie, just to let you know how broken I am as a human being. Hartley regular Robert John Burke plays a hideous monster living in Iceland who sort of befriends a low-level TV producer (played by the great Sarah Polley) whose plane crashes en route to a story on the mysterious monster. From there, the movie turns into a satire of the media and a treatise on mortality, as the monster wants nothing more than to die but can't. I love the photography, I love the weirdness, I love, love, love Hartley's score. This is available to watch for free (no subscription required) on Vudu. (Watch on Vudu)
For Your Eyes Only (1981, dir. John Glen) The world lost its first Bond this week. I have been outspoken about my feelings towards Roger Moore's interpretation of the character (I'm not a huge fan), but he's the Bond many of us grew up with and, to many, the best Bond. He was, by all accounts, a prince of a guy who stepped into some big shoes and made Bond his own, for which he deserves a great deal of credit. This is one of his best outings as 007 -- probably his best after The Spy Who Loved Me, if only because Lynn-Holly Johnson sexed up ice skater knocks it out of first place. Roger Moore will always be part of a very exclusive club, and the fact that he's the first to leave makes me terribly sad. Let's honor his memory by watching him drop Blofeld Bald Villain into a smokestack. (Watch on Hulu)

Finally: #Junesploitation kicks off next week! That means this column will be given over to giving streaming recommendations for every day's theme. The week of June 2 will be covered in next week's column, but in the meantime here's my pick for the first day of the month:

June 1 - Aliens!
Bad Taste (1987, dir. Peter Jackson) The debut movie from Peter Jackson features a bunch of aliens who land in New Zealand to eat humans, with only a couple of friends (including Jackson in one of his two roles in the film) to stop them. Though it's plenty rough in spots, there is so much talent, creativity, energy and humor on display that to watch it now makes me miss the old Peter Jackson. Most of you have probably already seen it, but if you haven't it's a fun way to kick off Junesploitation. (Watch on Amazon Prime Video)


  1. Currently giving Clown a watch, not too shabby so far. Beyond the Gates is up next! 3 day weekend!

  2. Clown was pretty damn good, better than I expected, had a lot of fun with it. I loved the first half of the movie, the set-up was great. I don't want to spoil it for anyone else, it's worth a watch for sure. The second half was a mixed bag for me, there was stuff I loved, some stuff I hated, and the rest was just like WTF?

  3. Beyond the Gates exceeded my expectations. It was nothing like I thought it would be, which is weird since it has been talked about at length on the podcast and site, even with the filmmaker himself. I think my favorite part of the first viewing was that I thought I knew what kind of movie I was watching and then it just fucking hits you with a god damn hammer. Then you realize that this isn't at all what you thought it was. Loved the music of course. Can't wait to watch it again. #PatrickWasRight

  4. For Your Eyes Only is in my top 5 Bonds, and my fav of the Moore Bonds. Annoying skater and bad bald cap aside, it showed what Moore could do with the role when given the right material. His dispatching of the assassin Loque is still one of my favorite moments in the franchise.

    Roger Moore was my first Bond. Although he made some real stinkers over the years, and stayed way beyond his expiration date, I will always have a soft spot for him. Plus he made The Spy Who Loved Me and For Your Eyes Only, which counts for something. RIP, Mr. Moore.

    1. Agree. Moore is my second favorite Bond after Dalton, but that doesn't mean I dislike or do not enjoy Connery, Craig, etc. It's just that Moore's the 007 I grew up with, and whom now (as an adult with taste) I accept as the face of a very experimental phase of James Bond's screen maturation. R.I.P. Uncle Roger. :'(

  5. Okay, just watched Bad Taste last night. It was amazing. One thing though, I am pretty sure that J.K. Rollings based Harry Potter's look on Peter Jackson's character in this film. Seriously! Plus, one of the actors is named TERRY POTTER!