Halloween II (2009, Dir: Rob Zombie)Put some mustard on that dog, Michael.
The Babysitter (2017)Thought it was supposed to be scary
Piranha 3D (2010)A missed opportunity for equal opportunity wang.
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)So is Jason's heart considered Soul Food?
Suspiria (1977)Ignore the plot and enjoy the expiraence.
Poltergeist (1982) Turns out Teague made a grave mistake.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)White haired werewolf will haunt my nightmares
Vamps (2012)What? IMDb says it's a horror movie.
Lost Boys 2: The Tribe (2008)Should’ve just watched the first one again.
Society (1989)Best fisting scene since Caligula.
Agreed!Society (1989)An orgy Penthouse can only dream of.
Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)Rocky's big organ can't beat Riff-Raff's pipes
Near Dark (1987)Who plays Hudson and Bishop in Near Dark?
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)Sleeping bag slam: best Jason kill, ever!
Bye Bye Man (2017)Can't get over the name Mr. DaisyOr how Cressida Bonas says Mr. Daaaisy.
Los sin nombre (1999, dir. Jaume Balagueró)Shaky-head shot two minutes in. Disqualified!
1922 (2017)Thomas Jane does his best Tom Hardy.
Wishmaster (1997) Adam Riske's favorite Gilligan's Island character? Djinn-ger.
Creepshow (1982)Wish I’d seen it as a kid.
I watched Creepshow for the first time this week and had the exact same reaction. 12 year old me would've loved it. 30 year old me...its just okay.
Clown (2014)A somewhat silly premise played effectively straight.
Society (1989)Being offered urine with tea means love?
The Body Snatcher (1945)The dog dies in first 10 minutes.
The Seventh Victim (1943)Missing sister sequestered by several swinging satanists.
I Walked with a Zombie (1943)Way too much walking; not enough zombies.
Shocker (1989)With Ted Raimi as 2002 Peter Parker
Tourist Trap (1979)Rifleman wears a mask, dances with dolls.
If I remember Correctly Yer mad yer basturds Laughed for ages after that shot. Elric kept saying it and I had forgotten what film it was from
An American Werewolf in London (1981)Cautionary tale about the dangers of werewolfing.
Tusk (2014)It's Smith's mistake, never go full walrus.
47 Meters Down (2017)Atleast getting a nitrogenoxide high seemes fun
Pet Sematary (1989)Cagey Gage raged, triaged barrage, disparaged marriage.
Hatchet II (2010)Biggest Problem: Film wasn't made in secret.
Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) “He's Lucky. I'm Lucky! The Banister’s Lucky!
The Beyond (1981)Tarantula rental is HOW MUCH?!...Two please.
The Blob (1988)Dillon’s hair is my Brave New Love.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)This episode of @midnight really sucks, man.
You Were Never Here (2016)Haneke-esque. Pretentious, intriguing, interesting. Not traditional Horror.
Night of the Living Dead 3-D in 2-D (2006)Why do I do this to myself?
Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)So the hillbillies are the good guys?
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)Crimes of passion take year to commit.
Dead and Buried (1981)Small city sheriff senses sinister scheme spreading.
Patchwork (2015)This one really tugs at the seams.
Trick Or Treats (1982)Asylum orderlies populated entirely by Keith Hernandezes
The Babysitter (2017)It's the Scott Pilgrim of horror movies.
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)McDougal starts out angry, only gets angrier.
Return to Halloweentown (2006)Not very good even by Halloweentown standards.
Blood Beach (1980) It’s Audrey II’s fun summertime beach vacation!
Alien (1979)Leave the cat. Get a new one.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)Jason shoulda dropped the elbow on Trish
The Final Destination (2009)Forget plot, let's make it super 3d!
Chopping Mall (1986)They had just cleaned up Matrix's mess.
Props. This might be my favorite comment of the month.
Phantasm Ravager (2016)Beware: enduring crappe of the Tall Man.
Dracula (1931)Dracula not that evil for a polygamist.
Hatchet (2006)Deon Richmond has worked with worse monsters.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)I prefer Rob's music to his movies.
Halloween H2O: 20 Years Later (1998)I got it, Michael really likes rap.
Poltergeist III (1988)Drink every time you hear Carol Anne.
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985) with F This Movie Commentary Chicken people, cocaine, chocolate, boobies, ooo baby!
Psycho (1998)Next time, exhume Hitchcock, have corpse direct.
And cast Andrew Garfield
Yes! He’d do a great Bates. Aside from the whole concept of this remake being questionable, Vaughn’s performance was a big problem.
I read an interestng theory somewhere that Van Sant possibly approached the Psycho remake as a kind of art project, the idea being to see whether duplicating Hitchcock's work almost exactly would produce the same results, or whether Hitch had that 'something special' which seperated him from other film makers.Van Sant has experimented with form throughout his career, including his wonderful 'death trilogy', and his filmography indicates that he's way too smart and much too much of an artist to simply cough up a carbon copy of a beloved classic such as Psycho. It never made sense to me why he would make a shot-for-shot remake of Psycho; there was just nothing for him to gain and so much to lose (he'd just scored a major hit with Good Will Hunting). But the notion that it was all some kind of experiment is an explanation that I can understand, and also one that makes watching the film interesting.And I love the idea of Van Sant taking that studio money and using it for some kind of personal art project.Hmmm... Suddenly I feel like revisiting this film.
White Zombie (1932)Daylight come, and me wanna eat brains.
The Snowman (2017)Like serving a cake before baking it.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)It's not recording studio, it's ROCKcording studio.
Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)Jason Lives or the one without boobs.
The ExorcistSpider walk aside, “New” version is interminable.
Pumpkin head (1988)You call that Pumpkinhead? More like Raisenhead.
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)Ok technically not horror but holy fuck.
Boo 2! A Madea HalloweenMadea legitimately scary. Her eyes. There's madness.
Child's Play (1988)Insane asylum has no budget for windows.
Split (2016)The Kimmy Schmidt parallels keep on coming.
Happy Death Day (2017)Deplorable characters, badly written, did not enjoy.
The Wolf Man (1941)Nice wolfman tiptoes through the forest. Snap!
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)Between a rock and a fire place?
Psycho 2 (1983)Easily my favorite Scary Movie Month discovery.
Yeah, that movie is pretty good. While part 3 isn’t that good, it’s worth it for one death that mimics the shower scene. But skipnpart 4. Seriously. It’s unwatchable.
The Birds (1963)Tippi Hedren terrorized by Alfred Hitchcock's Gamecocks.
The Blob (1988)Dillion too nicely dressed to be toughie.
Given by my 3 year-old son on vacation. **Context: I am walking in from picking up dinner and they're watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." And, I lament: "You're stealing my month. It's Scary Movie Month, and you're watching a Christmas movie.To which he responded with this seven-word review: "It's scary, dad. The Grinch is scary." "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (2000)
LOL! I love it and he's not wrong.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)Peas come in Pods. Always hated peas...
1922 (2017)Charlie Kelly's needed to handle those rats.
Haha!! The rat king of course!
Masters of Horror: We All Scream for Ice CreamRight ingredients are there, but lacks flavor.
Get Out (2017)"Lets give some credit to the T.S.A!"
Leprechaun 2 (1994)Apparently, Leprechaun’s also really like go karts.
The Wolf Man (1941)What's a Hays Code workaround for "gnards"?
Tales from the Crypt (1972)'70s kids remember when Cryptkeeper had skin.
Faceless (2017)Excuse me doc, this isn't my face!
Tarantula (1956) on SvengoolieLeo G. Carroll as the Elephant ManorWeightless '50's monsters sneak up on anyone.
Leprechaun 3 (1995)So you rhyme, some of the time?
Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987)Ironside so smooth he goes slow motion(kinda borrowed this from Brent Petersen - thanks Brent)
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)Next stop: Manhattan or Hell?....Hell please!
Shaun of the Dead (2004)This movie will never stop entertaining me.
From Beyond (1986) Dir. Stuart GordonGotta look carefully for the phallic symbolism.
Blood Sand (2015) High tide doesn’t exist in this movie?
Village of the Damned (1995)Carpenter has a Thing for green eyes.
What We Do In the Shadows (2014)I wish Thor: Ragnarok was a mockumentary
Gnome Alone (2015)“Sounds like a fucking hobo on helium”
Identity (2003)When I was going down the...scares!
The Craft (1996)These mean girls burn book really burns
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)Scores big points for amazing practical effects
Byzantium (2012)That is no country for vampire prostitutes.
The Haunted Mansion (2003)Disney really spared all the expenses, huh?
ChristineHoly shit, way better than I remembered.
The Void (2016)The Thing Beyond the Prince of Madness. (I say that as a compliment)
The Sentinel (1977)Yeah, still worth it for that view
The Devil's Candy (2015)Being a dad is, like, so metal.
Evil Dead (1981) Down at our rendezvous, trees company too!
Evil Dead 2 (1987) Perfect blend of comedy and horror. Groovy.
Aliens (1986)Damn I was hoping for more cats
Cabin Fever (2002)Postcoital Listerine penis dousing doesn't prevent infection.
Victor Crowley (2017)The Jurassic Park III of the series.
Deep Blue Sea (1999)Tonally strange religious references for shark movie.
Phantom of the Opera (1929)Masquerade sequence is both beautiful and terrifying!
It's pretty great
The Dark Half (1993)Something, something, "double or Hutton" pun.
Blood Feast (1963)Inspired The Bangles’ “Eat Like an Egyptian”
Prince of Darkness (1987)The Southtown, where green juice don’t play.