Got to go see it at the tiny local theater with a packed house and props. Tons of fun. Wanted my grandma to come but I think we would have lost her when a dude got out of an elevator in full drag......spoilers.
If I'm being charitable I'll say that it would have been really easy for them to have fallen into some sort of formula with the sequels, but they all at least tried something. Inferno was the one I got the most entertainment out of and honestly I found most of them more watchable than Hellraiser III.
For better or worse, Revelations isn't streaming and I'm not about to spend money on it so my time with Hellraiser is done for now.
Hellraiser: Deader (2005)
ReplyDeleteHellraiser Sequels: I don't begrudge Wuhrer work.
I'm a fan of a couple of the DTV sequels, but Deader is when they really went to shit.
DeleteDeep Blue Sea (1999)
ReplyDeleteThomas Jane - the most "heh" actor ever.
Eyes of Fire (1983, dir. Avery Crounse)
ReplyDeleteWizard of Oz trees' dark origin prequel.
Red White & Blue (2010, dir. Simon Bosley)
ReplyDeleteMost disturbing element was Marc Senter's earrings.
Society (1989)
ReplyDeleteSeen better lips on camels. Ammi right?!
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)
ReplyDeleteA Djinn Fizz, to silly for my taste
Patchwork (2015)
ReplyDeleteGarrett definitely counts that as a foursome.
Don't Breathe (2016, Dir: Fede Alvarez)
ReplyDeleteStrangely, that's how I baste my turkey.
Bordello of Blood (1996)
ReplyDeleteIt needed more blood, less Dennis Miller.
Honeymoon (2014)
ReplyDeleteSink or swim time for these newlyweds.
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteIt's a cautionary tale of extreme spelunking.
THE INVISIBLE MAN (1933)
ReplyDelete85 year old effects...still holds up!
Shivers (1975)
ReplyDeleteJustifies my phobia of Canadian sexmurder parasites
THE BABYSITTER (2017)
ReplyDeleteA tad below the “It’s fine” line.
Bells (1981)
ReplyDeletePoe is spinning in his tintinnabulous grave.
The Fly (1958)
ReplyDeleteLike Cronenberg's version, but with more ballet.
Puppet Master (1989)
ReplyDeleteVery odd. Not in a good way.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
ReplyDeleteMy dick doesn't like summer camp either.
Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)
ReplyDeleteI'm a happy camper, until I die.
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)
ReplyDeleteOne minute in, get first boob shot.
Return To Sleepaway Camp (2008)
ReplyDeleteRobert Hiltzik is completely batshit disturbingly insane.
Maniac Cop (1988):
ReplyDeleteApparently an empty truck exonerates Bruce Campbell.
Sleepaway Camp (1983):
ReplyDeleteCouldn't come up with good dick joke.
Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteFairly intense game of hide and seek.
The Witch (2016)
ReplyDeleteAnyone think this movie is the G.O.A.T?
I see what you did there!
DeleteScream 4 (2011)
ReplyDeleteMore unlikely: immortal killing machine or this?
976-Evil (1988)
ReplyDeleteShould be remade as "Evil Dot Com."
haha Just watch Friend Request. :D
DeleteGraveyard Shift (1990)
ReplyDeleteAndrews and Macht mangle cotton-pickin accents, bat
Trick 'r Treat (2007, dir. Michael Dougherty
ReplyDeleteSam has such sights to show you...
My Sucky Teen Romance (2012)
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't suck, but has no bite.
The Phantom of the Opera (1962)
ReplyDeleteWay too much opera, not enough phantom
Phantom Of The Paradise (1974)
DeletePlenty of the Phantom, not enough Beef.
Totally agree with that J.B!
DeleteAnd I do love the character Beef (I am a veggie so had to add that specific haha)!
Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)
ReplyDeleteSignificantly more scrotum damage than was expected.
The Lords of Salem (2012)
ReplyDeleteTonight Only: The Lords featuring Erich Asperschlager
Using my name gets you two words but also two thousand characters.
DeleteHaunted House LLC (2015)
ReplyDeleteDon't do haunted house in haunted house.
The Loved Ones (2009)
ReplyDeleteSo a basement full of unloved ones?!?
Monkey Shines (1988)
ReplyDeleteQuadriplegic calls monkey "fuck face". Good times.
The Pit and the Pendulum (1991)
ReplyDeleteStuart Gordon doing Roger Corman doing Poe.
Poltergeist II:The Other Side (1986)
ReplyDeleteMovie wormed its way into my heart.
I like your review much more than I liked the movie!
DeleteThe Snowman (2017)
ReplyDelete♪ Do you wanna build an inexplicable turkey? ♪
Hahaha!
DeleteHalloween II (2009)
ReplyDeleteShould I want the protagonist to die?
Demons (1985)
ReplyDeleteDo not mess with theatre lobby props!
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005)
ReplyDeleteShared universe with THE WITCH and IT?
The wITch?
DeleteNice!
Delete(THE) INCUBUS (1982)
ReplyDeleteNothing like some serious demon rape discourse.
PRINCE OF DARKNESS (1987)
ReplyDeleteThe best sleep i had in weeks.
Ian O
ReplyDeleteTHE BLOB (1958)
Teenagers in their thirties attacked by Jell-o.
The Faculty (1998)
ReplyDeleteBut where's the SCATman John cameo?
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)
ReplyDeleteMiguel Nunez avoids enchiladas but not shit.
I love the Leprechaun series but my wife hasn't seen any yet. I was thinking of starting with 4, just for the sheer ridiculousness that it is.
DeleteHappy Death Day (2017)
ReplyDeleteThey Live poster. Carter is my man!
The Village (2004)
ReplyDeleteNothing to fear but the world outside.
Child's Play 2
ReplyDeleteHow long were they in that warehouse?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
ReplyDeleteThe most accurate depiction of UT fans.
Phantom of the Paradise
ReplyDeleteWho'd win the fight? Rocky vs. Beef?
The Fog (1979)
ReplyDeleteUndead-leper-pirates kill Mark Twain; bummer.
Cat People (1982)
ReplyDeleteMalcolm McDowell attempts incest. Noah Cross approves.
Audition (1999)
ReplyDeleteThats it! im never dating anybody again.
THE GUARDIAN (1990)
ReplyDeleteWell...at least its poster is amazing!!
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
ReplyDeleteWerewolf murder victim surprisingly upbeat after death.
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
ReplyDeleteFreddy now unrecognizable from the first movie.
Peeping Tom (1960)
ReplyDeleteGirls on covers, no covers on girls.
Or
Great movie! Highlight of October so far!
Nice. On the watch list, but just got bumped up.
DeleteGerald's Game (2017) - That's why you don't share Kobe steaks.
ReplyDeleteAsking Siri would've been easier, but props.
Horror of Dracula (1958)
ReplyDeletePeter Cushing is the best VanHelsing EVER.
Bordello of Blood (1996)
ReplyDeleteSo this is what Mouth wished for?
Cat's Eye (1985)
ReplyDeleteJames Woods wouldn't, would he? He would!
Boys in the Trees (2016)
ReplyDelete"Closest I'll get to The Halloween Tree."
Scream (1996) - Genius Craven makes us like Jamie Kennedy
ReplyDeleteScream 2 (1997) - Genius Craven kills off Jamie Kennedy
ReplyDeleteChild's Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteTucked in bed with shoes on? WTF.
Intruder (1989)
ReplyDeleteWait, is "grocery store horror" a subgenre?
Starry Eyes (2014)
ReplyDeleteNot surprisingly, didn't get a wide release.
One of my favorite films of 2014!
DeleteSo freaking good.
DeleteBleed (2016)
ReplyDeleteRunning out of first watches on Netflix.
Dorchester's Revenge: The Return of Crinoline Head (2014)
ReplyDeleteFilmmaker assumes we know WTF "crinoline" is.
So...Crinoline Head...worst villain name ever?!
The Awful Dr. Orlof (1962, dir. Jess Franco)
ReplyDeleteShocking evidence that Franco once had talent.
Child's Play 2 (1990): Doll blood? Must just be cranberry sauce.
ReplyDeleteFriday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
ReplyDeleteJason Pro Tip: Keep away from barns
Christine (1983)
ReplyDeleteDid Christine give Arnie lasik eye surgery?
Ha!!
DeleteChild's Play 3 (1991): How much could Barc, would chuck, Chuck?
ReplyDeleteThe Tingler (1959)
ReplyDeleteThe tingler was inside you all along.
All through the house (2016)
ReplyDeleteGarland around the showerhead was too much
Torture Garden (1967)
ReplyDeleteBarker Burgess bedevils a bevy of Brits.
Vault of Horror (1973)
ReplyDeleteDeath in an elevator, living it up.
White Drift (2016) (20 min short)
ReplyDeleteGood indie, great practical werewolf, Kristi Ray.
Thinner (1996)
ReplyDeleteThat Strawberry pie, A dielightful gift, indeed
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
ReplyDeleteCommunist aliens grow human shaped green beans
Thinner (1996)
ReplyDeleteBrad Pitt volunteers to star in remake.
Black Christmas (1974)
ReplyDeleteCopious, but terrifying, use of the c-word.
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeletePretorius dead? Who will shrink Matt Damon?
Gerald's Game (2017)
ReplyDelete"Real horror; all that Kobe beef waisted."
That's $200 per lb Bruce Greenwood face
DeleteHaha!! Yeah and you think Lurch is going to appreciate the Kobe?!? No!
DeleteThe Mummy(2017)
ReplyDeleteThe effects were...Sophia was...never mind.
Hatchet (2006) Dir. Adam Green
ReplyDeleteStrays REALLY far from original Paulsen novel.
Gerald's Game (2017)
ReplyDeleteExtended PSA for iPhone's "Hey Siri" feature?
Rocky Horror Picture Show (1974)
ReplyDeleteIgor rocking the skullet like Hulk Hogan.
Got to go see it at the tiny local theater with a packed house and props. Tons of fun. Wanted my grandma to come but I think we would have lost her when a dude got out of an elevator in full drag......spoilers.
Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)
ReplyDeleteCarol Anne eventually went to Hogwarts, right?
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteLike my prom, only less pig's blood.
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
ReplyDeleteWheelchair guy and cute brunette are adorable.
Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)
ReplyDeleteHellraiser Sequels: Two released in one year.
Hellworld's my favorite of the bunch. It's so nineties. (Even though it came out halfway through the decade after.)
DeleteIf I'm being charitable I'll say that it would have been really easy for them to have fallen into some sort of formula with the sequels, but they all at least tried something. Inferno was the one I got the most entertainment out of and honestly I found most of them more watchable than Hellraiser III.
DeleteFor better or worse, Revelations isn't streaming and I'm not about to spend money on it so my time with Hellraiser is done for now.
Oh, no you don't!
DeleteIf I had to suffer through it, so do you! (Make sure you've got your adblockers on)
The pain and abuse you're tempting me with is almost worthy of a DTV Hellraiser sequel.
DeleteSecuestrados (2010, dir. Miguel Ángel Vivas)
ReplyDeleteIntense Noe-influenced home invasion thriller. Recommended!
Better Watch Out (2017)
ReplyDeleteNot one Macaulay Culkin cameo... Still good!
It Follows (2015)
ReplyDeleteThe demonic version of the Energizer Bunny.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
ReplyDeleteChainsaw slam dancing, thank you much Tobe.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
ReplyDeleteHealth Care is much better in London.
Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteMyers reconnaissance techniques could use some work.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
ReplyDeleteNo doggy style in the sex scene. ಠ_ಠ
Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)
ReplyDeleteSpice up scenes with a limb snap!
Tales of Halloween (2015)
ReplyDeleteHits the mark half the time...satisfied
Leprechaun (1993)
ReplyDeleteDid not find me pot of gold.