Stephen King's CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984, 92 min.) on Netflix Instant for the first time.One down, only 666 sequels to go.orMalachi, missing link in Gary Busey's genealogy.
THE BELKO EXPERIMENT (2017, 89 min.) on HBOGo for the first time.Belko Industries, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Haliburton.or"Scrub's" Doctor Cox snaps! "WHERE'S ZACH BRAFF??!!"
Phantasm (1979)Stop the violence. No more dead jawas.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers What is he avenging? The bad tattoo?
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)Doesn’t make sense 60% of the time.orIt’s made with bits of real Myers
Sleepwalkers (1992)Heartwarming Mother Son Relationship...um....wait....Ewwww!
House of Wax (2005)Naughties soundtrack can make any movie emo
SPRING (2014)Tentacle porn has never been more beautiful.
HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988)Where's my Rev. Jackson P. Sayer spin-off.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012, dir. Drew Goddard)Apparently this is my October tradition now.
The Cottage (2008)Leatherface settled down in quiet English village.
Jug Face (2013) All in the family pit of despair
Child's Play (1988)Academy Award winner for Best Expository Mural
Late Phases (2014)Lonely, grieving old man seeks furry friend
Wishmaster 2 (1999)Would have preferred Wishmaster Goes to Camp
The Prowler, dir. Joseph Zito (1981)Wondering how Fox News would spin this?
An American Werewolf in London (1981, dir. John Landis)No frequenting porno theaters in London anymore!
Revenge (2017) More accurate title is “Intense Body Gore.”
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)Which brother forgot to buy stage lights?
The Woods (2006)Look, Ash vs The Evil Dead Wood!
Apostle (2018)When I lay my vengeance upon thee
The Monster Squad (1987)Maybe the worst way to learn German?
Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)Locusts and Telepathy and Burton, OH MY!or“Hey lady, this is my sandwich break!”
The Ring (2002 film)Samara's weakness: driving down the user scoreorStream Paul Blart...die in 7 daysorSamara is haunting inside the Matrix apparently.
Hold the dark (2018)Bad things happen in Alaska because ... wolves?
Horror of Dracula (1958, dir. Terence Fisher)You've got something on your face, Dracula.
Carrie (1976) The most slaphappy gym teacher of all!
Lost Highway (1997):This video dating service is really weird.
DEATH SPA (1989):Neon Colored Foree (Ken) into computer operated exercise!
Alone in the Dark (1982)More psychopath’s than the movie Seven Psychopaths.
Demon Seed (1977)Vintage Alexa impregnates woman and kills Beef.
Bug (1975)These bugs spell better than our President
Practical Magic (1998)I can't believe we killed... Midnight margaritas!!!!
Carrie (1976)Book understood BEING bullied. This movie doesn't.
PROM NIGHT (1980)Nothing is scarier than Jamie disco dancing!
Breeders (1986) Former porn director? That explains so much.
The Shining (1980)Now I see! The moonlanding was fake!
Malevolent (2018)Ironically, this movie sewed my eyes shot.
Psychotronic Man (1980)He can cut hair ... WITH HIS MIND!
Willow Creek (2013)Roberta Hertzel wanders the woods at night.
The Mangler (1995)That's just another Tuesday at my job.
Rabid Grannies (1988)That's it! Grandma's going to a home.
Lords of Salem (2013)Undead 17th Century witches are real Massholes.
Phantasm (1979) Angus Scrimm: “Spheres looking at you, kid.”
Hell Night (1981)Trapped with Peter Barton is my nightmare
Apostle (2018, dir. Gareth Evans)Have they tried just fertilizer and water?
My eyes bugged out when I saw "Gareth Evans" next to "2018" As a huge fan of the raid movies, I thank you for bringing this to my attention.
If you love "The Raid" movies check out "Mile 22" (coming soon to home video). Gareth Evans didn't direct it, but Iko Uwais is in it and kicks a ton of ass alongside (and sometimes against) Marky Mark. Bordering-on-terrible movie, but if you half-squint it sort of feels like "The Raid 2.5" on quaaludes. Worth seeing and/or renting (but not owning) if you're as huge a fan of the "Raid" flicks as yours truly. :-)
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)Send more paramedics... and more Linnea Quigley.
The Hills have eyes (2006)Why you shouldn't play with your food.
Touch of Evil (1958)Just one long homage to Death Spa
Jackals (2017)Ex cult member, but I’m alright nooooooooooOOOOOOW
The Conjuring 2 (2016)Just another classic example of Chekhov’s nun
Raw (2017)Sister's new chain restaurant -- Buffalo Wild Fings
Scream 3 (2000 - Wes Craven)In Jim Ross' voice:MY GOD, SHE WENT THROUGH THE TABLE!
Extremity (2018)Mckamey Manor owner still a bigger asshole
The Descent (2005, dir. Neil Marshall)The monsters: meh. Enclosed spaces: holy fuck!!
I had a panic attack during this movie!
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Dir. Amy Holden JonesI get it, the drill's his penis.
Tremors (1990)The floor is lava, except it's worms.
The Lost Boys (1987)Michael. Michael. Michael. Miiiichael. Michael. Michael. MICHAEL!
Halloween (2007)New idea: don't taunt the huge psychopath.
The Lift (1983)Sometimes not as fun as you remember.
Would You Rather (2012): Imagine Corman and Price playing this game.
Apostle (2018)Super slow. Builds to something, though unoriginal.
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982)Starring: Tom Atkins - Worst James Bond Ever!
Scream For Help (1984)"Paul Fox cut my brakes, Josh Dealey"
The People Under the Stairs (1991) Dir. Wes CravenVing could be Secretary of Pussy now.
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018, dir. Ari Sandel)I’ll enjoy any movie with Halloween decorations.
Extremity (2018)DiBlasi continues to impress. Overall great achievement.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)Delayed adolescents senescence prescience belayed intoxicants abstinence
The Howling (1981)So, now I really want a burger.
Revenge (2018)"Probably not getting the rental deposit back."
Pet Semetary (1989) - Hanging brain in gym shorts....so embarrassing
The Whisperer in Darkness“Wake me up before you Mi-go go!”
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018)Not great, but I'm glad it exists.
The Raven (1963, dir. Roger Corman)Recognizing Jack Nicholson... month's biggest shock yet!
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (1988)Maybe it's her. Maybe it's demonic.
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)Mummys use bathroom stalls like frat boys.
Horror of Dracula (1958, dir. Terence Fisher)First and last mistake? Being a librarian.
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)Oh, stalking. I thought this was religious.
The Wolfman (2010)Larry Talbot accepts the Ice Bucket Challenge
Wolfen (1981)Nekked James Almos Almost Made Me Sh@t
The Fog (1980)She should play Foghat. Carpenter/Atkins scores.
The Final Conflict (1981)Skull Recessions Now Subject To Congressional Oversight
Blacula (1972)Dude, the sign did say no smoking.
Interview With a Vampire (1994)No Good Sequels in a Quarter Century.
From Beyond (1986)Ken Foree in the world's smallest manties.
Halloween (1978)“Escaped psycho? That’s hardly a priority Loomis.”
For the Love of Halloween (2018)A fahkin treat for Ariescope fans kid
The Exorcist III (1990)Didn't jump, but was SHOOK for hours
Happy Death Day (2017)This girl’s daily routine is a killer.
Martyrs (2008)Feeling like a 1992 Trent Reznor. #Broken
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)I guess Sheila wasn't an Asthma Master.
The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)Are you there Angel? It's me Margaret.
Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout (1990)Even Linnea couldn't motivate me to workout
Hatchet II (2010, dir. Adam Green)I'm telling you, something's different about Marybeth.
Carrie (1976)Who borrowed from who? Zapped! or Carrie?
Black Sabbath (1963)Something about this film was Wurdalaking.
Lord of Illusions (1995)There actually is real magic…oh boy!
Pumpkinhead (1988)Pumpkin spice blog Pumpkinhead gets unusual traffic.