Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Celluloid Ramblings: I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours

I’m still recovering from F This Movie Fest.

#FThisMovieFest left me #exhausted, so here is what I am offering today in lieu of a normal column. I’m assuming that you all need to give your scrolling fingers and reading eyes a rest, too, so I’m keeping this short and photo-centric.

If you have ever wondered about my “sanctum sanctorum,” here it be. This is the “office” where I “write” my “column” every “week.” (And then come up with “ways” to “convey” all sorts of “hip” and “with-it” “sarcasm” and “irony.”)
“I bid you welcome… The spider building his web for the unwary fly. The blood is the life. Eh, Mr. Renfield?…”
Here is much of what’s left of the “horror collection” after I sold everything else. I have tried to come up with the reason I have all of this effluvium in my office: do I find it inspiring to write surrounded by artifacts of my misspent youth? Does it prove that I have conquered all my childhood monster fears? Am I, in reality, a twelve-year-old? I’m afraid I do not know. Some mysteries are unsolvable.
Here is the gorilla I constructed out of a Trick Or Treat Studios King Kong mask and a cheap Amazon.com Halloween dummy. He makes me feel like I’m never alone in my office. I always have a friend. The skeleton is wearing a graduation stole I purchased from Amazon to hold my pin collection. WARNING: This was not the best idea. I would wear the stole more, but it is SUPER HEAVY… and slightly stabby.
Creature love… and how about that Bela Lugosi poster?
This skeleton wears a pair of my shoes (Beatles Yellow Submarine slip-ons). This frustrated my little goddaughter, who would yell down the steps into the basement, “Hey, you Skeleton, give my Uncle Johnny his shoes back!” Finally I ended this adorable madness by explaining to her that I gave the shoes to the skeleton to keep, because his feet were cold. This seemed to placate her.
Remember when Sideshow Toys sold cool 18” statues of classic monsters? I do. #soggywithnostalgia Can you spot the golden “Pope of Film” staff in the background?

Okay, that’s my office. Please do not seek out my Northern Minnesota address in order to break into my house and steal all of my stuff! My gorilla friend is trained to attack and eat intruders. That is what they teach in Gorilla College. #TheMoreYouKnow

I am also curious about the unique workspaces of my readers. Office? Crawlspace? County Jail Holding Cell? Bathtub? Remember, this column is interactive—so here’s the deal:

1. Please enjoy the pictures above.
2. Follow me on the Twitter machine: @JBFTHISMOVIE
3. Sometime this morning, I will tweet about this column.
4. Reply to that tweet with a picture of YOUR workspace.
5. In this way, we share. We learn. We grow.
6. Use the hashtag: #fthisworkspace

Got it? Gawk! Follow! Snap! Tweet! Reply! Fun! I look forward to viewing your own inner sanctums.


  1. Sooooo, you like horror? šŸ˜œ

    I love seeing behind the curtains of people like you. It's always interesting to see in what environment they work

  2. My workspace is a small, cramped office that I share with my assistant managers at a small movie theater. It is nowhere near as cool as JB's workspace.

  3. That is a terrific room, JB. I am digging the posters.

    Looking at all of the Creature from the Black Lagoon memorabilia reminds me that Julie Adams passed away recently. Did you get the chance to meet her?

  4. Twice. Once at Wonderfest and many years later at the Patio theater in Chicago. She was a nice lady— very generous with fans.

  5. You set the bar pretty high, here. I have a Training Day poster.