Tuesday, October 1, 2019

2019 Scary Movie Challenge Day 1


155 comments:

  1. Blood Diner (1987, dir. Jackie Kong)

    Terrible movie. Perfect way to start October.

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  2. It: Chapter 2 (2019, Andy Muschietti)

    Will take strangeness over logic any day.

    Or

    Bill would be a terrible baby sitter

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  3. Death Note (2017, Adam Wingard)

    I kinda miss Moleskines being a thing.

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  4. OR
    Death Note (2017, Adam Wingard)

    Isn't there an app for that now?

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  5. The Keep (1983 Dir. Michael Mann)


    Michael Mann consulted real life demon slayers.

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    Replies
    1. Brilliant! One of them was cast as one of the preists

      Delete
  6. Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddys Revenge

    Makes Brokeback Mountain look like Top Gun

    Or

    Oh, I get it...puberty as subtext.

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  7. SLEEPAWAY CAMP II: UNHAPPY CAMPERS (1988)

    Prudish killjoy ruins more than campers’ fun.

    Or

    Illustration of the importance of background checks.

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  8. "May The Devil Take You" (2018, Dir. Timo Tjahjanto)

    Indonesian facial peel is all the rage.

    Or

    No one french kisses like your mom.

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  9. Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 (2013, dir. Lloyd Kaufman)

    Can’t have sexual awakenings without demonic awakenings.

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  10. Child's Play (2019)

    "No Voodoo? How does this even work?"

    or

    "Even Chucky loves Texas Chainsaw Massacre too"

    or

    "Hamill wants to be your best buddi"

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  11. WolfCop(2014) Werewolf Penis Transformation....painful? Not painful? Painful.

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  12. Lake of Dracula (1971, Michio Yamamoto)

    Check dangerous goods box on all packages.

    Or

    Part Hammer Gothic, Giallo Mystery. It's amazing.

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  13. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (COLORIZED) (1968)

    This just doesn’t look right AT ALL.

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  14. The Unknown (1927, Tod Browning)

    Joan Crawford has those Bette Davis eyes.

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  15. Subspecies (1991)

    Brothers fight for blood stone...FINGER MONSTERS!

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  16. Dance of the Vampires (1967)

    Once Upon a Time in Matte Paintings.

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  17. Child's Play (2019)

    SkyNet's got us by the balls now

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  18. I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

    If the Facebook Memories prototype went haywire

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  19. Dracula (1931)

    "This movie is the life, Mr. Renfield."

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  20. SUSPIRIA (2018)

    Witch please! Dancing Kills. Just ask Olga!

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  21. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

    Might buy my second vinyl after this

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  22. Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019)

    That fucking basement can fuck right off

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  23. Friday the 13th Part II. Ginny channels Pamela, whom she's never met.

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  24. Skinner (1993)

    Ted Raimi screams and wears women's skin.

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  25. Truth Or Dare (2018)

    How you gonna name a demon Calux?

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  26. Pet Sematary (1989)

    The stance against neutering cats is weird

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  27. Pet Sematary II (1992)

    Clancy Brown has buffet with the scenery

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  28. House of Wax (2005)

    Wax-dipped Wade never got to poop.

    or

    Stinky, sticky, drippy, droopy detached murder twins.

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  29. Crap, wasn't logged in. Reposting reviews here.

    Shaun of the Dead (2004)

    Might buy my second vinyl after this

    Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019)

    That fucking basement can fuck right off

    Pet Sematary (1989)

    The stance against neutering cats is weird

    Pet Sematary II (1992)

    Clancy Brown has buffet with the scenery

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  30. Friday the 13th (2009)
    Points for bringing back the murder barn.

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  31. Revenge (2017) - Better Ant-POV than a movie called Antman.

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  32. Hatchet (2006)
    Wait a sec, you're not Danielle Harris

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  33. Pet Sematary (1989) Ad: For Sale. Baby Shoes. Slightly worn.

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  34. Midnight Meat Train (2008)
    And I thought my commute was rough!

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  35. Audition (1999)
    Uhmm, that's deep enough for me, thanks.

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  36. The Perfection (2019)

    Thanks for clearing confusion with rewinding noises.

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  37. Black Christmas (1974)
    "Michael! Its Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Myers!"

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  38. Pumpkinhead (1988)

    I thought Eric Stoltz was almost unrecognizable.

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  39. Poltergeist (1982)

    Berating James Karen is scary and fun.

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  40. Lords of Salem (2012)

    Zombie doth covet gratuitous nudity.

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  41. Killer Nun (1979)

    Nifty naughty nuns knife nonagenarian nutters nightly

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  42. The Final Girls (2015)

    What are the rules of this universe?

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  43. Poltergeist III (1988, dir. Gary Sherman)

    Spooky Speak & Spell serves scary skyscraper.

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  44. Misery (1990) Dirty Bird needs snowtires on cockadoodie car.

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  45. Cat People (1942)

    Irena needs to quit being a pussy.

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  46. The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

    Michael, Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, Pinhead…this guy.

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  47. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Don’t Look Now (1973)

      I’m assuming that she was lightning fast.

      Delete
  48. The Thing From Another World (1951) - Leave it outside. Nobody's gonna steal it!

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  49. Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972)

    Saw, but where Jigsaw flaunts his wealth.

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  50. Army of Darkness (1992 Dir. Sam Raimi)

    Ash gets over his fiancé REAL quick.

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  51. Rambo: Last Blood
    It IS a horror movie; HORROR ble...

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  52. "Knock, Knock" - Knockin' on heaven's door... yeaaaahhh

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  53. Crawl (2019)

    Giant pea-brained lizards partying on Spring Break.

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  54. Rawhead Rex (1987)

    Water sports Baptism equals small worshiper turnout.

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  55. Children of the Corn (1984)

    Apparently, daddy issues created the corn industry.

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  56. Tower of London (1962, Roger Corman)
    God damn that's some beautiful hair, Vincent

    The Haunted Castle (1897, George Melies)
    No fake bat advancements since 1897, apparently

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  57. Frankenstein (1931)

    Jeez, this movie is awful brain judgy.

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  58. The Stuff (1985)

    America, consumed and controlled — basically a documentary.

    or

    Of all places for a Crüe poster...

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  59. Child's Play (1988)

    Birthday boy gets killer toy. Hello, dolly!

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  60. Friday the 13th (1980)

    Alice fixes cup of Sanka. Hi, Pam!

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  61. The Fanatic (2019)

    Gotta post this quick...Have to poo.

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  62. One Cut of the Dead (2017)

    Proof that zombie movies continue to evolve

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  63. "Murder Party" - I guess art may be my thing

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  64. Stuck (2007)

    Insurance on windshield repair is a scam

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  65. Sleepwalkers (1992)

    Twin Peaks hot girl now cat person.

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  66. Bad Moon (1996 Dir. Eric Red)

    Dennis! There's a werewolf in my barbeque!

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  67. Black Mass (1928)

    Silent era (era) Satanists had awesome parties.

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  68. Corpse Mania (1981)

    Honk Kong doing Giallo better than Italy.

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  69. Dark Ride (2006, dir. Craig Singer)

    Good, but maybe not To Die For.

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  70. Tales of Halloween (2015)

    That for a Klondike? Sweet Tooth would.

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  71. Hatchet 2 (2010)
    Adam Green sends his pals to die.

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  72. Halloween (1978)
    Great movie to kick off the month!

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  73. Upgrade (2018)
    Tom Hardy passed on this for Venom?

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  74. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  75. Await Further Instructions (2018)
    A PSA for managing babies' screen time.

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  76. House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
    We will miss you so much, Sid.

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  77. The Devil's Rejects (2005)
    Don't be so mean to Three's Company.

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  78. Bad Moon (1996, Eric Red)

    No, I piss on your house, dog!

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  79. Les diaboliques (1955)
    Véra Clouzot's breathtaking beauty leads to heartache.

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  80. Cannibal Campout (1988) Dir. Jon McBride and Tom Fisher

    "Say 'Gumby' or the bitch gets it!"

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  81. Seven (1995 Dir. David Fincher)

    Better than getting a box of Goop.

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  82. The Hitcher (1987)

    Hitchhiker Hauer horrifies harried Howell. Leigh splits.

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  83. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
    Glenn Strange? Hashtag not my Frankenstein's Monster.

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  84. The Nun (2018)

    Sister Act Three? Jesus Christ, that sucked.

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  85. The Hidden (1987)

    Has a better flamethrower sequence than OUATIH.

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  86. Tales of Halloween (2015)

    I can not pick a favorite segment.

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  87. Creep Van (2012)

    Filmmakers missed mark, should be called, "Vanessa."

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  88. Director's Cut (2016)

    Penn crunching and slurping had me rolling.

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  89. CRONOS (1993)
    Ron Perlman really wants a nose job.

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  90. SALEM'S LOT : THE MOVIE (1979) 112 minute cut VHS
    Just like King, I prefer this version.

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  91. MY BEST FRIEND IS A VAMPIRE (1987)
    I think I'll watch ONCE BITTEN next.

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  92. The Hunger (1983)

    Hot lesbian action. Wait, there are vampires?

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  93. Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001)

    Gateway to Hell in Kansas ? Checks out.

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  94. Blood & Donuts (1995)

    When you start October with Prime recommendations...

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  95. The Dummy a.k.a Bloody Anniversary (1995) Dir. Dante Falconi

    Don't mock psychics who own ventriloquist dolls.

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  96. Lifeforce (1985)

    Two dudes kiss, all hell breaks loose.

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  97. Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933, Michael Curtiz)

    Dialogue so fast it turns impromptu jazz

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  98. SLEEPWALKERS (1992)

    Where’s Rick Sheridan when we need him?

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  99. My Bloody Valentine 81

    When Mooshead beer and coal was King

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  100. Hell Night (1981) Dir. Tom DeSimone

    If Halloween was written by a linebacker.

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  101. The Prophecy (1979)

    Take mutant bear suit over CGI anytime.

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  102. Night of the Living Dead (1968)

    Sadly, Romero ran so AMC could Walk.

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  103. Mosquito (1994)
    Best Gene Shalit voice: "This movie sucks."

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  104. Phantom of the Paradise (1973) Dir. Brian De Palma

    It's like a coke binge on acid.

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  105. The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
    Lock Stock American Subway: Snatch vs. Hangover

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  106. Christine (1983)

    Possessed automobiles done better without the cocaine

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  107. Garfield's Halloween Adventure (1985)

    Garfield gettin' kids fucked up since 1985.

    Drag Me to Hell (2009)

    Can't pay rent but has massive gravestone...

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  108. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1932, dir. Rouben Mamoulian)

    Nice guy becomes monster to get laid.

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  109. Creepshow 2 (1987)
    Theme through all 3 stories: casual racism

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  110. CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980)

    Not quite what Lovecraft had in mind.

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  111. Pet Sematary (2019) Romero living dead copyright issue strikes again!

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  112. The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973) Liked it more than I should have

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  113. Sleepwalkers (1992)
    Weird, incesty vampires are allergic to cats.

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  114. Starry Eyes (2014) Dirs. Kevin Kölsch & Dennis Widmyer

    There are worse things than beer leggings

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  115. Hell House LLC (2015; dir: Stephen Cognetii)

    If the shrug emoji were a movie.

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  116. Vampire's Kiss (1988)

    Nic Cage's accent is a national treasure.

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  117. The Faculty (1998)

    Elijah Wood was truly born to scamper.

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  118. Frailty (2001)

    So Paxton's a demon knight? 4 stars.

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  119. Day of the Dead (1985) Dir. George A. Romero

    Col. Rhodes deserves to meet his accusers.

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  120. Dawn of the Dead (1978)

    And now it's malls that are dead.

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  121. Scream 4

    I was too harsh back in 2011.

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  122. The Slumber Party Massacre (1982, dir. Amy Holden Jones)

    The “drill” is a “penis.” Pizza’s here!

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  123. Crawl (2019, dir. Alexandre Aja)

    Killing gators with the power of love

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  124. Spider Baby (1968)

    When CPS isn't an option, TNT is.

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  125. Midsommar (2019)

    That was a pretty sick Chekhov burn.

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  126. Graveyard Shift (1990)
    I say, I say, kind of boring!

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  127. Vacancy (2007) Dir. Nimrod Antol

    Surprisingly suspenseful, even with its thin premise.

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  128. Misery (1990)

    Walk it off Paul, walk it off.

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  129. Poltergeist (1982)

    Seems a bit late to cook steak.

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  130. A Quiet Place (2018)

    Others, quiet.

    Me: "Du du du! Hey!"

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  131. Monster Party (2018)

    C'mon movie. That stripper didn't hurt nobody!

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  132. Psychopaths (2017)

    This time Fessenden dying IS the plot!

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  133. John Carpenter's Body Bags (1993)

    Still playing Minors at 40.....GIVE UP!

    ReplyDelete
  134. Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

    Reciting dialogue along with the actors RULES!

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  135. The Mephisto Waltz (1971)

    Couples engage in some next level swinging.

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  136. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1932, dir. Rouben Mamoulian)

    Oh Father, maybe you knew all along!

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  137. THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1982, dir. Amy Holden Jones)

    Only 'some' of my sleepovers can compare.

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  138. I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE (1943, Jacques Tourneur)

    Atmospheric Lewton classic. Colonists dabble in voodoo.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Lord of Illusions (1995)

    Sorry girls, palm readers are very punctual.

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  141. Deep Red (1975, Dario Argento)

    Those Italian dialogue inserts are very awkward.

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