Either a castle high in the mountains, or a cabin deep in the woods, death wants his share, final girls beware, blood will spell in some crimson fountains, vampires, zombies and men in wicked hoods, terror for you - yet not for me, with F this movie!; seven words review!
JAWS 2 (1978) Just like the first one - except originality.
*I have an awful habit of taking way too much time trying to pick out films to watch instead of watching them so I decided to go with a spin the wheel randomizer with Horror as the genre and IMDB rating set to 0-100. So without further ado-
Roulette Wheel Movie #1 - The Omen (2006 - *rewatch)
This movie works for the swelteringly hot Commander Susan Ivanova alone. Add in Ed O'Ross as villain and pre-Cooper MacLaughlin and you've got yourself a wicked fuckin' movie brah.
Lucio Fulci's THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY (1981, Ultra HD Blu-ray)
ReplyDeleteBob's crystal-clear blue peepers worth 4K upgrade.
or
Those fake "Day... Dead" bats get around!
LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III (1990, Amazon Rental) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteStarring "She-Wolf of London's" Kate Hodge?! SOLD!
or
Viggo Mortensen, you've come a long way.
SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983, Dir. Robert Hiltzik)
ReplyDeleteLong delayed gender reveal party goes awry.
Carnival of Souls (1962)
ReplyDeleteIf purgatory's like this...I'm kinda interested.
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteTeenagers and their bloody high school pranks.
Gretel & Hansel (2020, dir. Oz Perkins)
ReplyDeleteVisionary new take: let's flip the names!
Us (2019, dir. Jordan Peele)
Meanwhile, the tethered are celebrating their Junesploitation.
Starfish (2018) Shudder
ReplyDeleteLast night a mixtape saved my life.
Dracula, Dir Tod Browning 1931
ReplyDeleteRenfield's laugh, a siren call for October
Or
Van Helsing really should lock his door.
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDYS REVENGE
ReplyDeleteMakes Brokeback Mountain look like Top Gun.
Scare Me (2020) Shudder
ReplyDeleteSpontaneous Horror improv group ends as expected.
Screamers aka Island of the Fishmen (1979/1980)
ReplyDelete“This movie has everything: Fishmen, Atlantis, Voodo!”
They're Playing With Fire (1984)
ReplyDeleteForget Die Hard. Best Christmas movie ever.
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ReplyDeleteHands of Orlac dir Robert Wiene 1924
ReplyDeleteThe Hands are trying to speak, loudly
Color out of Space(2019) See what happens when you Milk Alpacas
ReplyDeleteOverlord (2018, dir. Julius Avery)
ReplyDeleteFascists doing bleach experiments or some shit.
IT FOLLOWS (2014)
ReplyDeleteDir. David Robert Mitchell
Exposition more effective when strapped to wheelchair.
Roadgames (1981) Dir. Richard Franklin
ReplyDeleteSTOP HITCHHIKING JAMIE LEE! IT'S FUCKING DANGEROUS!
The Color Out of Space
ReplyDeleteNow that's what I call family bonding!
Mandy
ReplyDeleteHornet horror before 2020 made it cool
Host
ReplyDeleteSolid way to bail on zoom meetings
Murders in the Rue Morgue, Dir Robert Florey 1932
ReplyDeleteGift hats always mean murderous ape attacks.
Butcher Baker Nightmare Maker (1981)
ReplyDeleteI hardly know her baker nightmare maker!
SVENGALI (1931)
ReplyDeleteNeeds more YouTube male grooming popup ads.
Drag Me to Hell (2009)
ReplyDeleteDude, "gypsy" is not the preferred nomenclature
Or
PROTIP: ALWAYS LEAVE ANVILS SUSPENDED FROM CEILING
I needed this back in my life. Thanks, FTM.
ReplyDeleteThe Mutilator (1984) Ralph’s the Carolina cousin of Jean Ralphio.
Night of the Demons (Tenney, 1988)
ReplyDeleteDancing demons delight...where'd that lipstick go?
The Relic (1997) Director Peter Hyams
ReplyDeleteMuseum massacre proves science funding is extinct
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteDRACULA: “This is very old boxed wine.”
🤣👏
DeleteZombie (Fulci, 1979)
ReplyDeleteThat voodoo that you do but sharkier
Tales of Terror (1962)
ReplyDelete(BORAT VOICE) MY WIFE! sleeps all day.
Demons(1985)
ReplyDeleteT-1000, sold! Helicopter, rad! Green pilgrim...sure?
Scream 2 (1997)
ReplyDeleteRandy's goatee should be killer in 5
THE CAT GIRL (1957)
ReplyDeleteNot even this explains what “jellicle” is.
The Guest (2014)
ReplyDeleteBest if viewed as Downton Abbey sequel.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Dir. Wes Craven
ReplyDeleteGlenn is more sleepy than my cat.
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteMillion Dollar Idea: Little girls as anchors!
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
ReplyDeleteAlways the first up to start ScaryMovieMonth
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteChristopher Walken: "I gotta have more beheadings."
VEROTIKA (2019)
ReplyDeleteFace skin like Pokemon. Collect ‘em all!
SCARE ME (2020]
ReplyDeleteModern update of Ken Russell’s “Gothic.” Yes!
VFW(2019) So...I guess they're tabs were paid?
ReplyDeleteZ (2019)
ReplyDeleteCreepy and goofy monster all at once.
Verónica (2017, dir. Paco Plaza)
ReplyDeleteHéroes del Silencio is a good band.
Hunchback of the morgue (1973):
ReplyDeletePaul Nashy? More like Paul Nasty! Recommended
Blood Rage (1987)
ReplyDelete(w/ FTM Commentary)
Best pool final showdown besides It Follows?
Bride of Frankenstein
ReplyDeleteA nice day for a fright wedding.
*high five*
DeleteCreature from the Black Lagoon (1954)
ReplyDeleteSoggy, unsettling allegory for American foreign policy
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteImagine what music must the armadillos make!
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
ReplyDeleteI kinda thought Mr. Hyde was sexier.
Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
ReplyDeleteThey did the mash... the Monster Mash.
Child's Play (2019)
ReplyDeleteBlack Mirror meets Gremlins meets Old Yeller
What We Do In The Shadows(2014, dir. Taika Waititi)
ReplyDeleteWe all need a friend like Stu
The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
ReplyDeleteNot sure the rats should get credit.
The Invisible Man (2020)
ReplyDeleteDark Universe version Cruise plays her ex.
JACK THE RIPPER (1959)
ReplyDelete“Historical accuracy? What the heck is that?”
In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
ReplyDeleteA public service announcement for radical evangelicalism.
American Werewolf in London (1981)
ReplyDeleteNo, Jack, you can't have my toast.
Gerald's game (2017)
ReplyDeleteGame may require extra hand to play.
Fade To Black (1980)
ReplyDeleteGive Not Shelly Winters a whole movie!
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteLugosi bites necks while Frye chews scenery.
Hocus Pocus
ReplyDeleteSanderson Sisters steal souls of Salem's scions.
Wishmaster
ReplyDeleteTwisted wishes definitely conjure large unknown Riske
Isle of the Dead (1945)
ReplyDeleteGreat idea to start with plague paranoia.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOne Dark Night (1983)
ReplyDeleteWas this shot during Phantasm's lunch breaks?
Either a castle high in the mountains,
ReplyDeleteor a cabin deep in the woods,
death wants his share, final girls beware,
blood will spell in some crimson fountains,
vampires, zombies and men in wicked hoods,
terror for you - yet not for me,
with F this movie!; seven words review!
JAWS 2 (1978)
Just like the first one - except originality.
Verotika (2019):
ReplyDeleteOh, Mother... Hey Danzig, More Cuts please!
BLOOD RAGE (1987)
ReplyDeleteA possible shared universe with Troma’s Poultrygeist?
The Fly (1958, dir. Kurt Neumann)
ReplyDeleteHe’s pretty fly for a white guy!
The Toolbox Murders (2004)
ReplyDeleteYou Bettis watch out in this building.
also
That's not what tools are for, jerk!
Alien (1979) Director Ridley Scott
ReplyDeleteGlenn Danzig, while captaining the Nostromo: "Mother!"
Dracula (1931, die. Tod Browning)
ReplyDeleteDavid Manners: The quintessential classic horror himbo.
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ReplyDeleteThe Old Dark House (1932)
ReplyDeleteThat old lady had a sick beard.
The Exorcist (1973): Kinderman: Now with 100% less bathtub carp!
ReplyDeleteVerotika (2019) w/FTHISMOVIE Commentary
ReplyDeleteIronically only thing not padded were bras
or
This movie is the actual nek breakAH!!!
SLEEPWALKERS (1992)
ReplyDeleteWait, does anyone actually sleepwalk in this?
Mikey (1992) - Not a prequel to Life With Mikey
ReplyDeleteSleepwalkers (1992)
ReplyDeleteClovis puts Charles in a Cat-atonic state
Verotika (2019)
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, my eyes are down here.
*I have an awful habit of taking way too much time trying to pick out films to watch instead of watching them so I decided to go with a spin the wheel randomizer with Horror as the genre and IMDB rating set to 0-100. So without further ado-
ReplyDeleteRoulette Wheel Movie #1 - The Omen (2006 - *rewatch)
Sucks almost as much as 2020 does.
VEROTIKA (2020):
ReplyDeleteWell, at least she’s wearing a mask.
Dead Silent (2007):
ReplyDeleteForget skin suits, try making dolls instead.
The Old Dark House (1932)
ReplyDeleteAfter balcony fall: “The carnage!!” -Jim Ross
SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983)
ReplyDeleteJust imagine what these characters smell like.
The Burning(1981) Alternate title: The Burning in everyone's pants.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Hidden (1987)
ReplyDeleteI didn't get cocaine buying MY car
This movie works for the swelteringly hot Commander Susan Ivanova alone. Add in Ed O'Ross as villain and pre-Cooper MacLaughlin and you've got yourself a wicked fuckin' movie brah.
DeleteFRIGHT NIGHT (1985, dir. Tom Holland)
ReplyDeletePeter Vincent!
Sounds better than Cushing Price.
"You're so cool, Brewster."
DeleteFROM BEYOND (1986)
ReplyDeleteBald Jeff Combs looks like Jim Carrey
Needful Things (1993)
ReplyDeleteSydow's Satan perfected by immaculate "clit tickler"
The Mangler (1995)
ReplyDeleteStanding ovation Mr. Englund. You magnificent bastard.
Fright Night (1985)
ReplyDelete"Svengoolie" and practical events make this fun.
The Babysitter (McG, 2017)
ReplyDeleteA different sort of adventure in babysitting.
Verotika (2020)
ReplyDeleteHey! Hey! My eyes are up...nevermind
Spellcaster (1988)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, where the fuck is Adam Ant?
Silver Bullet (1985) Dir. Dan Attias
ReplyDeleteNice werewolf transforms into monstrous Everett McGill.
Pitch Black (2000)
ReplyDeleteOnly Coronas here are the ASTRONOMICAL PHENOMENA.
Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright (2013)
ReplyDeleteRa rot retter ran re CGI rone
The Devil’s Rain
ReplyDeleteIn which Satanic panic meets Yankee Candle
House of Wax (2005)
ReplyDeleteHey Paris! You can't candle the truth!
VAMPYR (1932, dir. Carl Theodor Dreyer)
ReplyDeleteI went for some trashy exploitation tonight.
Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteBabysitting really is the worst, isn't it?
BAD TASTE (1987)
ReplyDelete"Derek!" "Derek!" "Derek!" "Derek!" "Derek!" "Derek!" "Derek!"
ALUCARDA (1975)
ReplyDeleteYou can never scream "Satan" loud enough.
Spring(2015) Budding romance blossoms...then come the tentacles.
ReplyDeleteScare Me (2020)
ReplyDeleteYou’re not the boss of me, title.
Hell Fest (2018)
ReplyDeleteMy nightmare even without a serial killer.
You should check out Haunt (2019), if you haven't already!
DeleteEvil Dead II (1987) Director Sam Raimi
ReplyDeleteWasted my free Audible on The Necronomicon
Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)
ReplyDeleteI don't think he's a real doctor.
High Life (2018)
ReplyDeleteI was expecting a space vampire. Disappointed!
Scream (1996)
ReplyDeleteCraven/Williamson haven't figured out Cursed yet.
Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man (1943)
ReplyDeleteLon slightly drunker than Bella is high.
It Cuts Deep (2020)
ReplyDeleteAt least it takes place at Christmas.
The Hunt (2020)
ReplyDeleteIs this our protagonist? Nope. This? Nope.
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteI seent John Wayne steal that yeet.
Final Destination (Wong, 2000).
ReplyDelete"I'll see you soon." Listen to Death.
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
ReplyDeleteMiners, not minors, got on my nerves.
The Cat and the Canary (1939)
ReplyDeleteCan't collecting an inheritance ever be easy
Cemetery Man (1994)
ReplyDeleteDick injection, dick rejection, then dick dejection.
The Ruins (2008)
ReplyDeleteThis is no time for a handjob.
Hostel
ReplyDeleteYeah this movie has not aged well...
The Ambulance
ReplyDeleteWonder if this hospital takes my insurance.
The invisible Man (2020)
ReplyDeleteKind of slow. Moss steals the show
The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954)
ReplyDeleteExceptional design meets stunning suit laden performance.
Verotika (2019)
ReplyDeleteFear is mindkiller. Albino spider is neckbreaker.
EL SANTO VS. LAS MUJERES VAMPIRO/ SANTO VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN (1962)
ReplyDeleteBlood does amazing things for a complexion.
Or
Do you like wrestling with your horror?
Wish upon (2017)
ReplyDeleteCareer counselor never mentioned dumpster diving saxophonist.
The Prowler (1981)
ReplyDeleteFar more gore than I remembered. Nice.
Unmasked Part 25 (1988)
ReplyDeleteThis is the movie that I watched.
(Trump news drained me of all creativity - the movie was ok but stretched the premise a bit thin)
Doom Asylum (1988)
ReplyDeleteLow budget cheese fest, bring me crackers!
The Devil's Doorway (2018)
ReplyDeleteNo nuns were harmed making this movie.
Priest (2011)
ReplyDeleteA yearly movie in my Halloween rotation.
The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (2010)
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly enjoyable with a Young Frankenstein homage.