VEROTIKA (2019, Amazon Rental) for the first time.Fade-to-black drinking game guaranteed to kill anyone!or♫ SPIDER-MAN SPIDER-MAN PUMPS CHLAMYDIA THROUGH HIS BLOOD... ♫
Peter Jackson's BAD TASTE (1987, Amazon Prime).Liked Wachowskis' big-budget remake "Jupiter Ascending" better.orBeatles drive Kiwi Ecto-1 to the rescue!
RIFFTRAX LIVE: HILLBILLYS IN A HAUNTED HOUSE (1967, Shout TV)Rathbone sleuths, Carradine creeps, Chaney smothers. Win?
Verotika, dir Glenn DanzigIs a Virkin anything like a Merkin
MURDER OBSESSION (1981, Dir. Riccardo Freda)Son returns home. Mom never stops orgasming.orBella bambina hates plastic bats and spiders.
The Manitou (1978)Laser boobs beat eyeball boobs every time
The Mummy (1932)This is not a film about motherhood.
Spiral, Joel David Moore + Adam Green 2019Maybe say no to the neighbour's casserole
I love love love this movie!
I wanted to give and recieve all the hugs after watching it.
Veronika (2019)On and on and on and on
SLEEPAWAY CAMP 2: UNHAPPY CAMPERS (1988):Where no campers under 30 are allowed.
Nut allergy? The whole family is nuts!
(For: Hereditary. 2018. Ari Aster
Evil dead (2013)Never question the compulsive twitchy heroin addict.
Verotika (2019)Zoom in, zoom out, zoom at nothing.
LOST HIGHWAY (1997) Dir. David Lynch"Give me back my phone.......and eyebrows."
KISS ME MONSTER (1969) I think Jess Franco might have… issues.
Definitely not one of Franco's better films, and it has little to do with monsters. Early Franco films like The Awful Dr. Orloff or The Diabolical Dr. Z are more suitable for this month.
The Housemaid (Cô Hâu Gái) (2016, dir. Derek Nguyen)Ghost! Or is it? Yes. No. Maybe?
Valentine (2001)Valentines? They could all use better friends.
Verotika(2020) yes another oneNeck Breakah! Face Rippah! Me? Watch Checkah!
Planet of the Vampires (1965)That Bava really puts a movie together!
May (2002)How does "Stitch Fix" work? Asking for a friend.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) Dir. Ernest DickersonEyes are the crotch of the face.
The Dead Zone (1983)King, Cronenberg, Walken means family friendly fun.
Wishmaster (1997)Wes Craven presents 'I Dream of Djinnie"
Chocolate (2005) (Master of Horror)Wait a minute… This isn’t Johnny Depp!
The Thing (2011): The best case for discount dental care.
Lifeforce (1985): “Dude, she’s a vampire.” “I’ve dated worse.”
Silent Hill (2006)Town's Purge siren got stuck on repeat.
MALEVOLENT (2018) Is this Velma’s origin story? Jinkies, indeed.
THE SHINING (1980) Scariest thing is Wendy's long cigarette ash...
Lord of Salem (2012)"Why the goat? Why not the pig?"
WishmasterDem Bones, Dem BonesGonna walk around
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) Dir. Reuben Fleischer Isn't it funny they don't know Uber?
Vampyr (1932)Vampyr with a y cuz ve're serious.
🤣👏
The Ghoul (1933)What if Frankenstein was a little sleepy?
Arzt ohne Gewissen aka Doctor without Scruples (1959 - Falk Harnack) *first timeNazis without scruples - who would have thought?
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981) director Frank De FelittaOddly subdued for an early Pacino film
HatchetBest trip to New Orleans i've taken.
GETAWAY (2020) What a strange Birds of Prey sequel.
The Horror of Dracula (1958)Christopher Lee sucks and is dead sexy.
MayhemOffice Space +Samara Weaving = Mayhem
Piranha (1978) Dir. Joe DanteThankfully, the EPA has preemptively polluted everything.
Bad Reputation (2005)I thought 2020 couldn't get any worse.
The Beyond Killerpov! That conversation about Beyond the Beyond ...
Bones (2001)It's much better than I remember it.
Verotika (2020)I have sneaking suspicion that Danzig horny
Dracula (1979 with Frank Langella)“I have crossed hair salons of time...”
Shirley (2020)I am serious. And so is Shirley.
Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)I haven't used my Dremel in awhile.
The Haunted Palace (1963)It's real estate 101 location location location.
The Divine Fury (2019 dir. Kim Joo-hwan)MMA exorcism movie not crazy enough unfortunately
Verotika (2019- dir. Glenn Danzig)The age old question... milk or beer?
ANTEBELLUM (2020 - dir. Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz)Not really a horror movie...but horrific.
Practical Magic (1998)Aidan Quinn, you must please stop mumbling.
THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED (1969) Nobody tell these girls about Hanging Rock.
Day of the Dead (1985)Military industrial complex crumbles under own weight.
Microwave Massacre (1979)Terrible, I should have listened to Elric.
Yep. You could of watched Possesion instead...
It's not even a little fun.
I See You (2019)Haunting? Home invasion? Serial killer? Plastic surgery!
Color Out of Space (2020) Just me; Meteoric-Cage is Trump voice?
Deep Rising (1998) Dir. Stephen SommersMonsters ruined my dad's insurance scam too.
Wishmaster 2 Your soul and a packet of cigarettes
Night of the Demons (1988):I guess you had to be there
Mayhem (2017)Being killed by Samara Weaving? Yes please.
God Told Me To (1976)Did you try just telling Him "no?"orDon't fuck the alien Jesus side vagina!
The Vampire Bat (1933)I miss names like Gussie and Glieb.
The Black Cat (1934)Frankenstein vs. Dracula in a staring contest.
Scream 2 (1997)Good God, Neve Campbell in this movie.
BLOODTHIRSTY (2020), Dir. Amelia MosesWow, werewolves can really carry a tune.
Oculus (2013)Mike Flanagan's Malice Through the Looking-Glass
12 HOUR SHIFT (2020), Dir. Brea GrantMandy's hospital will get bad yelp reviews.
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)Curse of Cushing: best actor in film.
The Masque of the Red Death (1964)Prospero's out dicked by an otter pop.
Clownado (2019)Why the fuck did I watch this?!
X: The Man With the X-Ray Eyes (1963)"Spies!Looking into my window,I watch.."
VerotikaApparently Glenn watches porn for the actingor*Eyes gouged, movie starts* Me: "Lucky her"
Cathy's Curse, dir Eddy Matalon 1977This demon torments with meaness and alcohol orAs usual Canuxploition wallpaper is on point
Jennifer's Body (2009) Dir. Karyn Kusama The most action a "Chip" ever got.
The Lure (Córki dancingu) (2015, dir. Agnieszka Smoczynska)Weirder mermaid sex movie than The Lighthouse.
HALLOWEEN (1978):Michael’s asylum classes: Driving, hide and seek.
WEREWOLF OF WASHINGTON (1973) Less politics, more bowling? Works for me!
Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)Put this on and you'll get laid
Verotika (2019)Thank god it's over... wait.. Anthology?? NOOOOOOOO!
Conquest (1983)Who's the cinematographer on this? Liz Taylor?
12 Hour Shift (2020) - dir. Brea GrantToo quirky for me. Love Brea though.
Sleepy Hollow (1999):This is becoming my favourite Burton movie.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)Corpse bell humor’s great, until it backfires
Critters (1986) Dir. Stephen Hereck But have you tried reasoning with them?
leviathan (1989)What a great cast! Wow, terrible ending!
Body Parts (1991)Fahey's phantom fist fights, fingers and flashbacks
The Addams Family (2019)Never thought I'd prefer the Sonnenfeld version.
The Night of a Thousand Cats (1972)I wish they showed the helicopter more.
Do Not Reply (2019) - Dir. Daniel Woltosz, Walter WoltoszNothing new. Not even a good kill.
Dracula (1931)Bela Lugosi makes a very convincing Doug
Death Proof (2007) Dir. Quentin TarantinoKurt Russell's hair deserves its own credit.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Dir. Wes CravenReading about the Balinese way of dreaming
followed (2018)I currently support this treatment of influencers.
The Fly (1986)(Shared a classic with my kid, Al. Here is their response.)Buzz, buzz buzz, buzz buzz, buzz: boom!
Becky (Milott and Murnian, 2020)Becky teams with Kevin McCallister in sequel
Beetlejuice (1988)Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Oh God, oh no.
Child's Play (2019)Good-bye credibility! I actually really liked it
Tourist Trap (1979)Does Andrew McCarthy jerk off to this?
HALLOWEEN (2018):2018 Michael: Hide and Seek Professor Emeritus.
Jennifer's Body (2009)Megan Fox's dick is bigger than mine.
Trick r' Treat (2007) director Michael DoughertyNever ask Little Red what she's Paquin
DARK DEADLY AND DREADFUL (2018) The moral is: never nitpick a ghost.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)UPDATE: Shaun of the Dead remains perfect.
CRUEL JAWS (1995, dir. Bruno Mattei)I can say while drunk.... it’s amazing.
Blacula (1972)The Hues Corporation nearly steals the movie.
Dracula (1931)Realized everyone but Dracula is on acid.
Paranormal Activity (2007, dir. Oren Peli)Judging by footprints, it’s...a dinosaur ghost?
An American Werewolf in London (1981) Dir. John LandisInterested for more wolf shenanigans in Europe...
Eden Lake (2008)Lake already has poop in it, guaranteed.
Twins of Evil (1972)More Peter Cushing for the Puritan pushing.
Resident Evil (2002)Somehow the most grounded of the series
Popcorn Possessor looks like a total A24 movie.
The Shining (1980)Jack Torrance couldn’t handle the COVID quarantine
Frankenhooker (1990)Okay, the titty tray made my day.
Blade 2 (2002)Why am I nostalgic for Nu Metal?
same. I think because I cant believe it was actually a thing
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Only here for Walken’s pointy little teeth.
Village of the Damned (Wolf Rilla, 1960)This is why I don't have children.
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)Best movie based on a fictitious trailer.
Marla (2018)SlowDullMovieIsSlowAndDull
Poltergeist (1982)I found a flaw. Chips were wasted.
Return of the Living Dead (1985) Dir. Dan O'BannonRidiculous. Absurd. There's no punks in Kentucky.
Verotika (2019)Why did you do this to us?
The Monster Squad (1987) pretty bummed when the creature got got
Halloween at Aunt Ethel's(2019)Better than story time at Uncle Glenn's
VEROTIKA (2019, Amazon Rental) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteFade-to-black drinking game guaranteed to kill anyone!
or
♫ SPIDER-MAN SPIDER-MAN
PUMPS CHLAMYDIA THROUGH HIS BLOOD... ♫
Peter Jackson's BAD TASTE (1987, Amazon Prime).
ReplyDeleteLiked Wachowskis' big-budget remake "Jupiter Ascending" better.
or
Beatles drive Kiwi Ecto-1 to the rescue!
RIFFTRAX LIVE: HILLBILLYS IN A HAUNTED HOUSE (1967, Shout TV)
ReplyDeleteRathbone sleuths, Carradine creeps, Chaney smothers. Win?
Verotika, dir Glenn Danzig
ReplyDeleteIs a Virkin anything like a Merkin
MURDER OBSESSION (1981, Dir. Riccardo Freda)
ReplyDeleteSon returns home. Mom never stops orgasming.
or
Bella bambina hates plastic bats and spiders.
The Manitou (1978)
ReplyDeleteLaser boobs beat eyeball boobs every time
The Mummy (1932)
ReplyDeleteThis is not a film about motherhood.
Spiral, Joel David Moore + Adam Green 2019
ReplyDeleteMaybe say no to the neighbour's casserole
I love love love this movie!
DeleteI wanted to give and recieve all the hugs after watching it.
DeleteVeronika (2019)
ReplyDeleteOn and on and on and on
SLEEPAWAY CAMP 2: UNHAPPY CAMPERS (1988):
ReplyDeleteWhere no campers under 30 are allowed.
Nut allergy? The whole family is nuts!
ReplyDelete(For: Hereditary. 2018. Ari Aster
DeleteEvil dead (2013)
ReplyDeleteNever question the compulsive twitchy heroin addict.
Verotika (2019)
ReplyDeleteZoom in, zoom out, zoom at nothing.
LOST HIGHWAY (1997)
ReplyDeleteDir. David Lynch
"Give me back my phone....
...and eyebrows."
KISS ME MONSTER (1969)
ReplyDeleteI think Jess Franco might have… issues.
Definitely not one of Franco's better films, and it has little to do with monsters. Early Franco films like The Awful Dr. Orloff or The Diabolical Dr. Z are more suitable for this month.
DeleteThe Housemaid (Cô Hâu Gái) (2016, dir. Derek Nguyen)
ReplyDeleteGhost! Or is it? Yes. No. Maybe?
Valentine (2001)
ReplyDeleteValentines? They could all use better friends.
Verotika(2020) yes another one
ReplyDeleteNeck Breakah! Face Rippah! Me? Watch Checkah!
Planet of the Vampires (1965)
ReplyDeleteThat Bava really puts a movie together!
May (2002)
ReplyDeleteHow does "Stitch Fix" work? Asking for a friend.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) Dir. Ernest Dickerson
ReplyDeleteEyes are the crotch of the face.
The Dead Zone (1983)
ReplyDeleteKing, Cronenberg, Walken means family friendly fun.
Wishmaster (1997)
ReplyDeleteWes Craven presents 'I Dream of Djinnie"
Chocolate (2005) (Master of Horror)
ReplyDeleteWait a minute… This isn’t Johnny Depp!
The Thing (2011): The best case for discount dental care.
ReplyDeleteLifeforce (1985): “Dude, she’s a vampire.” “I’ve dated worse.”
ReplyDeleteSilent Hill (2006)
ReplyDeleteTown's Purge siren got stuck on repeat.
MALEVOLENT (2018)
ReplyDeleteIs this Velma’s origin story? Jinkies, indeed.
THE SHINING (1980)
ReplyDeleteScariest thing is Wendy's long cigarette ash...
Lord of Salem (2012)
ReplyDelete"Why the goat? Why not the pig?"
Wishmaster
ReplyDeleteDem Bones, Dem Bones
Gonna walk around
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) Dir. Reuben Fleischer
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny they don't know Uber?
Vampyr (1932)
ReplyDeleteVampyr with a y cuz ve're serious.
🤣👏
DeleteThe Ghoul (1933)
ReplyDeleteWhat if Frankenstein was a little sleepy?
Arzt ohne Gewissen aka Doctor without Scruples (1959 - Falk Harnack) *first time
ReplyDeleteNazis without scruples - who would have thought?
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981) director Frank De Felitta
ReplyDeleteOddly subdued for an early Pacino film
Hatchet
ReplyDeleteBest trip to New Orleans i've taken.
GETAWAY (2020)
ReplyDeleteWhat a strange Birds of Prey sequel.
The Horror of Dracula (1958)
ReplyDeleteChristopher Lee sucks and is dead sexy.
Mayhem
ReplyDeleteOffice Space +Samara Weaving = Mayhem
Piranha (1978) Dir. Joe Dante
ReplyDeleteThankfully, the EPA has preemptively polluted everything.
Bad Reputation (2005)
ReplyDeleteI thought 2020 couldn't get any worse.
The Beyond
ReplyDeleteKillerpov! That conversation about Beyond the Beyond ...
Bones (2001)
ReplyDeleteIt's much better than I remember it.
Verotika (2020)
ReplyDeleteI have sneaking suspicion that Danzig horny
Dracula (1979 with Frank Langella)
ReplyDelete“I have crossed hair salons of time...”
Shirley (2020)
ReplyDeleteI am serious. And so is Shirley.
Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
ReplyDeleteI haven't used my Dremel in awhile.
The Haunted Palace (1963)
ReplyDeleteIt's real estate 101 location location location.
The Divine Fury (2019 dir. Kim Joo-hwan)
ReplyDeleteMMA exorcism movie not crazy enough unfortunately
Verotika (2019- dir. Glenn Danzig)
ReplyDeleteThe age old question... milk or beer?
ANTEBELLUM (2020 - dir. Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz)
ReplyDeleteNot really a horror movie...but horrific.
Practical Magic (1998)
ReplyDeleteAidan Quinn, you must please stop mumbling.
THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED (1969)
ReplyDeleteNobody tell these girls about Hanging Rock.
Day of the Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteMilitary industrial complex crumbles under own weight.
Microwave Massacre (1979)
ReplyDeleteTerrible, I should have listened to Elric.
Yep. You could of watched Possesion instead...
DeleteIt's not even a little fun.
DeleteI See You (2019)
ReplyDeleteHaunting? Home invasion? Serial killer? Plastic surgery!
Color Out of Space (2020)
ReplyDeleteJust me; Meteoric-Cage is Trump voice?
Deep Rising (1998) Dir. Stephen Sommers
ReplyDeleteMonsters ruined my dad's insurance scam too.
Wishmaster 2
ReplyDeleteYour soul and a packet of cigarettes
Night of the Demons (1988):
ReplyDeleteI guess you had to be there
Mayhem (2017)
ReplyDeleteBeing killed by Samara Weaving? Yes please.
God Told Me To (1976)
ReplyDeleteDid you try just telling Him "no?"
or
Don't fuck the alien Jesus side vagina!
The Vampire Bat (1933)
ReplyDeleteI miss names like Gussie and Glieb.
The Black Cat (1934)
ReplyDeleteFrankenstein vs. Dracula in a staring contest.
Scream 2 (1997)
ReplyDeleteGood God, Neve Campbell in this movie.
BLOODTHIRSTY (2020), Dir. Amelia Moses
ReplyDeleteWow, werewolves can really carry a tune.
Oculus (2013)
ReplyDeleteMike Flanagan's Malice Through the Looking-Glass
12 HOUR SHIFT (2020), Dir. Brea Grant
ReplyDeleteMandy's hospital will get bad yelp reviews.
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
ReplyDeleteCurse of Cushing: best actor in film.
The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
ReplyDeleteProspero's out dicked by an otter pop.
Clownado (2019)
ReplyDeleteWhy the fuck did I watch this?!
X: The Man With the X-Ray Eyes (1963)
ReplyDelete"Spies!
Looking into my window,
I watch.."
Verotika
ReplyDeleteApparently Glenn watches porn for the acting
or
*Eyes gouged, movie starts* Me: "Lucky her"
Cathy's Curse, dir Eddy Matalon 1977
ReplyDeleteThis demon torments with meaness and alcohol
or
As usual Canuxploition wallpaper is on point
Jennifer's Body (2009) Dir. Karyn Kusama
ReplyDeleteThe most action a "Chip" ever got.
The Lure (Córki dancingu) (2015, dir. Agnieszka Smoczynska)
ReplyDeleteWeirder mermaid sex movie than The Lighthouse.
HALLOWEEN (1978):
ReplyDeleteMichael’s asylum classes: Driving, hide and seek.
WEREWOLF OF WASHINGTON (1973)
ReplyDeleteLess politics, more bowling? Works for me!
Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)
ReplyDeletePut this on and you'll get laid
Verotika (2019)
ReplyDeleteThank god it's over... wait.. Anthology?? NOOOOOOOO!
Conquest (1983)
ReplyDeleteWho's the cinematographer on this? Liz Taylor?
12 Hour Shift (2020) - dir. Brea Grant
ReplyDeleteToo quirky for me. Love Brea though.
Sleepy Hollow (1999):
ReplyDeleteThis is becoming my favourite Burton movie.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
ReplyDeleteCorpse bell humor’s great, until it backfires
Critters (1986) Dir. Stephen Hereck
ReplyDeleteBut have you tried reasoning with them?
leviathan (1989)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great cast! Wow, terrible ending!
Body Parts (1991)
ReplyDeleteFahey's phantom fist fights, fingers and flashbacks
The Addams Family (2019)
ReplyDeleteNever thought I'd prefer the Sonnenfeld version.
The Night of a Thousand Cats (1972)
ReplyDeleteI wish they showed the helicopter more.
Do Not Reply (2019) - Dir. Daniel Woltosz, Walter Woltosz
ReplyDeleteNothing new. Not even a good kill.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteBela Lugosi makes a very convincing Doug
Death Proof (2007) Dir. Quentin Tarantino
ReplyDeleteKurt Russell's hair deserves its own credit.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Dir. Wes Craven
ReplyDeleteReading about the Balinese way of dreaming
followed (2018)
ReplyDeleteI currently support this treatment of influencers.
The Fly (1986)
ReplyDelete(Shared a classic with my kid, Al. Here is their response.)
Buzz, buzz buzz, buzz buzz, buzz: boom!
Becky (Milott and Murnian, 2020)
ReplyDeleteBecky teams with Kevin McCallister in sequel
Beetlejuice (1988)
ReplyDeleteBeetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Oh God, oh no.
Child's Play (2019)
ReplyDeleteGood-bye credibility! I actually really liked it
Tourist Trap (1979)
ReplyDeleteDoes Andrew McCarthy jerk off to this?
HALLOWEEN (2018):
ReplyDelete2018 Michael: Hide and Seek Professor Emeritus.
Jennifer's Body (2009)
ReplyDeleteMegan Fox's dick is bigger than mine.
Trick r' Treat (2007) director Michael Dougherty
ReplyDeleteNever ask Little Red what she's Paquin
DARK DEADLY AND DREADFUL (2018)
ReplyDeleteThe moral is: never nitpick a ghost.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
ReplyDeleteUPDATE: Shaun of the Dead remains perfect.
CRUEL JAWS (1995, dir. Bruno Mattei)
ReplyDeleteI can say while drunk.... it’s amazing.
Blacula (1972)
ReplyDeleteThe Hues Corporation nearly steals the movie.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteRealized everyone but Dracula is on acid.
Paranormal Activity (2007, dir. Oren Peli)
ReplyDeleteJudging by footprints, it’s...a dinosaur ghost?
An American Werewolf in London (1981) Dir. John Landis
ReplyDeleteInterested for more wolf shenanigans in Europe...
Eden Lake (2008)
ReplyDeleteLake already has poop in it, guaranteed.
Twins of Evil (1972)
ReplyDeleteMore Peter Cushing for the Puritan pushing.
Resident Evil (2002)
ReplyDeleteSomehow the most grounded of the series
Popcorn
ReplyDeletePossessor looks like a total A24 movie.
The Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteJack Torrance couldn’t handle the COVID quarantine
Frankenhooker (1990)
ReplyDeleteOkay, the titty tray made my day.
Blade 2 (2002)
ReplyDeleteWhy am I nostalgic for Nu Metal?
same. I think because I cant believe it was actually a thing
DeleteSleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteOnly here for Walken’s pointy little teeth.
Village of the Damned (Wolf Rilla, 1960)
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't have children.
Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)
ReplyDeleteBest movie based on a fictitious trailer.
Marla (2018)
ReplyDeleteSlow
Dull
Movie
Is
Slow
And
Dull
Poltergeist (1982)
ReplyDeleteI found a flaw. Chips were wasted.
Return of the Living Dead (1985) Dir. Dan O'Bannon
ReplyDeleteRidiculous. Absurd. There's no punks in Kentucky.
Verotika (2019)
ReplyDeleteWhy did you do this to us?
The Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeletepretty bummed when the creature got got
Halloween at Aunt Ethel's(2019)
ReplyDeleteBetter than story time at Uncle Glenn's