Oran Peli's PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2007, Showtime) for the first time.Restless spirit attempts rescue of suburban woman.orMicah for worst horror movie boyfriend... EVER!
The Vicious Brothers' GRAVE ENCOUNTERS (2011, Amazon Prime)Hilarious deconstruction of trashy paranormal TV tropes.
Micha Gallo's ITSY BITSY (2019, Tubi) for the first time.Aims for poignancy, settles on nightmare fuel.or'Maa-Kalatari,' low-budget speak for 'Kothoga w/o Winston.'
The Lodge, dir Veronika Franz + Severin Fiala, 2019When you take away the kids wifi
Two Heads creek, dir Jesse O'brien, 2019 YeahNah - Put another liver on the barbie.
SUSPIRIA (2018, Dir. Luca Guadagnino) Olga's Berlin adventure ends in a twist.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil, dir Eli Craig, 2010 It's a warm hug of a movie
GRAVE ENCOUNTERS 2 (2012, Amazon Prime)36 min. build-up to hour-long prequel rerun.orSelf-aware filmmakers give Wes Craven his due.
Haunt (2019)Always bring your baseball bat with you.
The Orphanage (2007)Throws everything at the wall. Sticks landing.
Se7en (1995)Rejoinder: It CAN rain all the time.
Ghost Town (1988, dir. Richard McCarthy)Crispin Glover's dad is weird. Whod've thought?
Summer Of Fear (1978)Big hair Linda Blair battles wicked witch.
Braindead (1992, dir. Peter Jackson)Raimi crawled so Peter Jackson could walk
Was dry cleaning included in the budget?
Scary Stories to tell in the Dark(2019). Add "Zit Trauma" to body horror tropes
Night of the Living Dead (1968) Say "MR. COOPER!" one more time. PLEASE!
Izbavitelj aka "The Rat Savior" (1976 - Krsto Papić) Like for antifascist message - pretty boring finale.
Hocus Pocus (1993) It's a fine good time. Just fine.
Books of Blood (2020)Oh… He was the book all along
DRAGULA RESSURECTION (a 2020 Shudder original!) The BEST ideas for Halloween costumes EVER!!!!!!
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003) director Rob ZombieI'd hang with early scenes Spaulding 100%OrDoubled 31, only correct call is Zombie
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1925) Singing to bring down the 7-word review!
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) Dir. Danny CannonMort....Gage. Understand? I'm your mortgage, Julie!
LOL
Vampires vs. The Bronx (2020)Sam & The Frog Brothers and the Bronx.
Vampires (1998)What's the "padre" budget on this thing?
SON OF FRANKENSTEIN (1939)Villagers way too easy on the doc.
Black Christmas (1974, dir. Bob Clark)Desk Sergeant: "'Fellatio?' I don't know Greek."
Friday the 13th v (1985)Tommy Jarvis, former member of Cobra Kai.
Seriously, Part 5 keeps moving up my list of Friday movies every year. Just bat shit crazy fun. Only like 4 & 6 more.
HOUSE OF WAX (1953) Better Marie Antoinette movie than Marie Antoinette.
Blade Trinity (2004)Blade 4: The Rise Of Count Chocula
The Purge: Anarchy (2014)Clear eyes, full hearts, chestful of bullets.
Drag me to Hell (2009 Sam Raimi)Raimi’s glorious gags give me the giggles.
Midsommar (2019) "Burn bear burn, Harga inferno." - Swedish cult
THE BOY (2016) Poor Malcolm always getting cockblocked by Brahms.
WAXWORK (1988) How many horror heroes randomly know swordfighting?
WolfCop (2014)This feels like Deputy Dewey's natural progression.
Paranormal Activity (2007)Winner for new drinking game is Mica!
Paranormal Activity (2010)I'm glad the drinking game came first.
Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)Grown by now? Should be almost forty.
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)Ceiling fan cam tested poorly with audiences.
Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)Only thing more forgettable an actual Kinect.
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)Should always be wary of bruha ha's.
THE THING (1982, dir. John Carpenter)Is anybody getting out of this alive?
THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD (1951)I cannot stop looking at the sky.Or Well-constructed, suspenseful, and fun after seven decades.
BODY PARTS (1991)Damn, is this a MAD LOVE remake??
I like to think so 😃
Happy Death Day 2U (2019)And, again, low expectations for the win!
The Fog (1980) director John CarpenterHearing your words broadcasted? Who wants that?
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985): OH, I get it...puberty as subtext.
Child's Play (2019) director Lars KlevbergDoes Chicago Homicide have jurisdiction over Kankakee?
CORPSE BRIDE (2005)My pun counter broke halfway through film.
Thirteen Ghosts (2001)Those in glass houses shouldn’t trap ghosts.
Hack-U-Lantern(1988)Inbreeding Satanists reenact Highlander fight, ruin party
Hocus Pocus (1993)Worst thing to happen to Salem. Ever.or Binx in the rain qualifies as #WAP
RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOL. 1 (2013) Hey, that car crash footage looks familiar...
REUTRN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOL 2 (2017) Best Howard the Duck sequel never made.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)Regret taking a minor in werewolf poetry.
Black Sabbath (’63, Mario Bava)Leave playing vampires to Lugosi, Boris Karloff.
HALLOWEEN (2007)Well this just launched up my ranking...
Bad HairStyle, references = legit. Barely horror; dug it.
BonesOpening a dance club. In this economy?
Scream (1996) Dir. Wes CravenThey're all jacked up on Jolt Cola.
Addams Family Values (1993)They should have made more of these
HORROR OF DRACULA (1958)Moral: Always follow Peter Cushing’s instructions exactly.
NIGHTBREED: DIRECTOR'S CUT (1990) I like TMNT's lair better than Midian.
Needful Things(1993). Devil drives hard bargain...and Rolls Royce.
Fun Size (2012)Keevin and Bo Callahan - SAME FUCKING ACTOR!
Spookies (1986)Sound Designer: Ugh. Fuck it. Farting Mummies.
Someone's Watching Me (1978)Broadcast News what you did last summer...
The Evil Dead (Raimi, 1981)2020 feels like the Necronomicon is involved
The Fly II (1989) Dir. Chris WalesHe loves Zuniga...like a real fly.
Happy Hell NightHalloween but dumber. Thought it was greaT!
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986, dir. Tom McLoughlin)IMDb search just keeps suggesting Jason Lively.
The Mist (Black & White version, 2007)Because this movie just wasn't bleak enough.
TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE (1990)Shit, my cat’s getting ideas from this....
Sleepaway Camp (1983) director Robert Hiltzik"He Bah-Bah'd his last Ree-Bah"
Color Out of Space (2019)Well, Nic….have the alpaca stopped screaming?
Happy Death Day (2017)Attack of the killer Baby King Cake?
The Turning (Sigismondi, 2020)You'll turn on it by end credits
Young Frankenstein (1974) Monster lacks in brains, gains in schwanzschtücker.
THE LOST BOYS (1987) A vampire's deadliest super power? Peer pressure.
The Dark Half (1993) Dir. George A. RomeroStephen King really, really hates Richard Bachman.
CHOPPING MALL (1986) Guess the Killbots patrol Amazon warehouses now.
EVIL DEAD (2013)Lots of bloody gore!Fede Alvarez: MORE!!!!
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) Loomis describing new villain: "the blackest coat..."
Frankenstein’s Army (2013) Cool creatures goes along way for me.
Cabin in the Woods (2011)Bear trap chain or flying guillotine better?
Cujo (1983)How ad exec blamed for bad cereal?
Fright Night (’85, Tom Holland)One of my favorite vampire films ever.
The Entity (1982) Dir. Sidney J. FurieOkay, this entity is a real jerk.
TRICK OR TREAT (1986)So is metal actually evil or nah?
House of Haunted Hill (1959)acid pit cheaper than lawyers and alimony
NECROPOLIS (1987) Was "gritty NYC" ever really this gritty?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)16 year old me had terrible taste.
Someone’s Watching Me (1978)The 70s were rough for Uncle Leo.
Oran Peli's PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2007, Showtime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteRestless spirit attempts rescue of suburban woman.
or
Micah for worst horror movie boyfriend... EVER!
The Vicious Brothers' GRAVE ENCOUNTERS (2011, Amazon Prime)
ReplyDeleteHilarious deconstruction of trashy paranormal TV tropes.
Micha Gallo's ITSY BITSY (2019, Tubi) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteAims for poignancy, settles on nightmare fuel.
or
'Maa-Kalatari,' low-budget speak for 'Kothoga w/o Winston.'
The Lodge, dir Veronika Franz + Severin Fiala, 2019
ReplyDeleteWhen you take away the kids wifi
Two Heads creek, dir Jesse O'brien, 2019
ReplyDeleteYeahNah - Put another liver on the barbie.
SUSPIRIA (2018, Dir. Luca Guadagnino)
ReplyDeleteOlga's Berlin adventure ends in a twist.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil, dir Eli Craig, 2010
ReplyDeleteIt's a warm hug of a movie
GRAVE ENCOUNTERS 2 (2012, Amazon Prime)
ReplyDelete36 min. build-up to hour-long prequel rerun.
or
Self-aware filmmakers give Wes Craven his due.
Haunt (2019)
ReplyDeleteAlways bring your baseball bat with you.
The Orphanage (2007)
ReplyDeleteThrows everything at the wall. Sticks landing.
Se7en (1995)
ReplyDeleteRejoinder: It CAN rain all the time.
Ghost Town (1988, dir. Richard McCarthy)
ReplyDeleteCrispin Glover's dad is weird. Whod've thought?
Summer Of Fear (1978)
ReplyDeleteBig hair Linda Blair battles wicked witch.
Braindead (1992, dir. Peter Jackson)
ReplyDeleteRaimi crawled so Peter Jackson could walk
Was dry cleaning included in the budget?
DeleteScary Stories to tell in the Dark(2019). Add "Zit Trauma" to body horror tropes
ReplyDeleteNight of the Living Dead (1968)
ReplyDeleteSay "MR. COOPER!" one more time. PLEASE!
Izbavitelj aka "The Rat Savior" (1976 - Krsto Papić)
ReplyDeleteLike for antifascist message - pretty boring finale.
Hocus Pocus (1993)
ReplyDeleteIt's a fine good time. Just fine.
Books of Blood (2020)
ReplyDeleteOh… He was the book all along
DRAGULA RESSURECTION (a 2020 Shudder original!)
ReplyDeleteThe BEST ideas for Halloween costumes EVER!!!!!!
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003) director Rob Zombie
ReplyDeleteI'd hang with early scenes Spaulding 100%
Or
Doubled 31, only correct call is Zombie
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1925)
ReplyDeleteSinging to bring down the 7-word review!
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) Dir. Danny Cannon
ReplyDeleteMort....Gage. Understand? I'm your mortgage, Julie!
LOL
DeleteVampires vs. The Bronx (2020)
ReplyDeleteSam & The Frog Brothers and the Bronx.
Vampires (1998)
ReplyDeleteWhat's the "padre" budget on this thing?
SON OF FRANKENSTEIN (1939)
ReplyDeleteVillagers way too easy on the doc.
Black Christmas (1974, dir. Bob Clark)
ReplyDeleteDesk Sergeant: "'Fellatio?' I don't know Greek."
Friday the 13th v (1985)
ReplyDeleteTommy Jarvis, former member of Cobra Kai.
Seriously, Part 5 keeps moving up my list of Friday movies every year. Just bat shit crazy fun. Only like 4 & 6 more.
DeleteHOUSE OF WAX (1953)
ReplyDeleteBetter Marie Antoinette movie than Marie Antoinette.
Blade Trinity (2004)
ReplyDeleteBlade 4: The Rise Of Count Chocula
The Purge: Anarchy (2014)
ReplyDeleteClear eyes, full hearts, chestful of bullets.
Drag me to Hell (2009 Sam Raimi)
ReplyDeleteRaimi’s glorious gags give me the giggles.
Midsommar (2019)
ReplyDelete"Burn bear burn, Harga inferno." - Swedish cult
THE BOY (2016)
ReplyDeletePoor Malcolm always getting cockblocked by Brahms.
WAXWORK (1988)
ReplyDeleteHow many horror heroes randomly know swordfighting?
WolfCop (2014)
ReplyDeleteThis feels like Deputy Dewey's natural progression.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
ReplyDeleteWinner for new drinking game is Mica!
Paranormal Activity (2010)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the drinking game came first.
Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)
ReplyDeleteGrown by now? Should be almost forty.
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
ReplyDeleteCeiling fan cam tested poorly with audiences.
Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)
ReplyDeleteOnly thing more forgettable an actual Kinect.
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)
ReplyDeleteShould always be wary of bruha ha's.
THE THING (1982, dir. John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteIs anybody getting out of this alive?
THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD (1951)
ReplyDeleteI cannot stop looking at the sky.
Or
Well-constructed, suspenseful, and fun after seven decades.
BODY PARTS (1991)
ReplyDeleteDamn, is this a MAD LOVE remake??
I like to think so 😃
DeleteHappy Death Day 2U (2019)
ReplyDeleteAnd, again, low expectations for the win!
The Fog (1980) director John Carpenter
ReplyDeleteHearing your words broadcasted? Who wants that?
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985): OH, I get it...puberty as subtext.
ReplyDeleteChild's Play (2019) director Lars Klevberg
ReplyDeleteDoes Chicago Homicide have jurisdiction over Kankakee?
CORPSE BRIDE (2005)
ReplyDeleteMy pun counter broke halfway through film.
Thirteen Ghosts (2001)
ReplyDeleteThose in glass houses shouldn’t trap ghosts.
Hack-U-Lantern(1988)
ReplyDeleteInbreeding Satanists reenact Highlander fight, ruin party
Hocus Pocus (1993)
ReplyDeleteWorst thing to happen to Salem. Ever.
or
Binx in the rain qualifies as #WAP
RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOL. 1 (2013)
ReplyDeleteHey, that car crash footage looks familiar...
REUTRN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOL 2 (2017)
ReplyDeleteBest Howard the Duck sequel never made.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)
ReplyDeleteRegret taking a minor in werewolf poetry.
Black Sabbath (’63, Mario Bava)
ReplyDeleteLeave playing vampires to Lugosi, Boris Karloff.
HALLOWEEN (2007)
ReplyDeleteWell this just launched up my ranking...
Bad Hair
ReplyDeleteStyle, references = legit. Barely horror; dug it.
Bones
ReplyDeleteOpening a dance club. In this economy?
Scream (1996) Dir. Wes Craven
ReplyDeleteThey're all jacked up on Jolt Cola.
Addams Family Values (1993)
ReplyDeleteThey should have made more of these
HORROR OF DRACULA (1958)
ReplyDeleteMoral: Always follow Peter Cushing’s instructions exactly.
NIGHTBREED: DIRECTOR'S CUT (1990)
ReplyDeleteI like TMNT's lair better than Midian.
Needful Things(1993). Devil drives hard bargain...and Rolls Royce.
ReplyDeleteFun Size (2012)
ReplyDeleteKeevin and Bo Callahan - SAME FUCKING ACTOR!
Spookies (1986)
ReplyDeleteSound Designer: Ugh. Fuck it. Farting Mummies.
Someone's Watching Me (1978)
ReplyDeleteBroadcast News what you did last summer...
The Evil Dead (Raimi, 1981)
ReplyDelete2020 feels like the Necronomicon is involved
The Fly II (1989) Dir. Chris Wales
ReplyDeleteHe loves Zuniga...like a real fly.
Happy Hell Night
ReplyDeleteHalloween but dumber. Thought it was greaT!
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986, dir. Tom McLoughlin)
ReplyDeleteIMDb search just keeps suggesting Jason Lively.
The Mist (Black & White version, 2007)
ReplyDeleteBecause this movie just wasn't bleak enough.
TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE (1990)
ReplyDeleteShit, my cat’s getting ideas from this....
Sleepaway Camp (1983) director Robert Hiltzik
ReplyDelete"He Bah-Bah'd his last Ree-Bah"
Color Out of Space (2019)
ReplyDeleteWell, Nic….have the alpaca stopped screaming?
Happy Death Day (2017)
ReplyDeleteAttack of the killer Baby King Cake?
The Turning (Sigismondi, 2020)
ReplyDeleteYou'll turn on it by end credits
Young Frankenstein (1974) Monster lacks in brains, gains in schwanzschtücker.
ReplyDeleteTHE LOST BOYS (1987)
ReplyDeleteA vampire's deadliest super power? Peer pressure.
The Dark Half (1993) Dir. George A. Romero
ReplyDeleteStephen King really, really hates Richard Bachman.
CHOPPING MALL (1986)
ReplyDeleteGuess the Killbots patrol Amazon warehouses now.
EVIL DEAD (2013)
ReplyDeleteLots of bloody gore!
Fede Alvarez: MORE!!!!
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
ReplyDeleteLoomis describing new villain: "the blackest coat..."
Frankenstein’s Army (2013)
ReplyDeleteCool creatures goes along way for me.
Cabin in the Woods (2011)
ReplyDeleteBear trap chain or flying guillotine better?
Cujo (1983)
ReplyDeleteHow ad exec blamed for bad cereal?
Fright Night (’85, Tom Holland)
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite vampire films ever.
The Entity (1982) Dir. Sidney J. Furie
ReplyDeleteOkay, this entity is a real jerk.
TRICK OR TREAT (1986)
ReplyDeleteSo is metal actually evil or nah?
House of Haunted Hill (1959)
ReplyDeleteacid pit cheaper than lawyers and alimony
NECROPOLIS (1987)
ReplyDeleteWas "gritty NYC" ever really this gritty?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
ReplyDelete16 year old me had terrible taste.
Someone’s Watching Me (1978)
ReplyDeleteThe 70s were rough for Uncle Leo.