This comment has been removed by the author.
Tod Browning's DRACULA (1931, TCM).Sidney Prescott's right: Never fuck with original!
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987, DVD).Who knew recycling was so much fun.orStill waiting for "Chaos: The Motion Picture!"
VEROTIKA (2019, Amazon Renta) with the FThisMovie Commentary Track."Sin City" aspirations meet "Amazing Bulk" reality.orWith 100% more honest-to-goodness, award-winning filmmaker opinion.
Homecoming (2005)Simpsons was wrong. The Dead vote democratic.
THE PERFUME OF THE LADY IN BLACK (1974, Dir. Francesco Barilli) Flimsy Mimsy Morphs Into Monstrous Murder Mommy.
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010, dir. Tod Williams)Three people wrote this. Now that’s scary.
Predator 2 dir Stephen Hopkins 1990All of Paxton's line readings are gold
Contamination, dir Luigi Cozzi 1980Just sitting here watching an egg breathe
Lifeforce 1985 Tobe HooperContact with foreign bats creates global crisis.
I Married a Witch (1944 - René Clair) *first timeNot scary - yet a fine Halloween flick.
Time Lapse (2014, dir. Bradley King)Characters accept the crazy premise surprisingly quickly.
As easy as it admittedly is to poke holes in it, I liked the twist on the usual setup of "time" movies, and really enjoyed it!
The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)Mononymous Man makes movietranscending Terminator Talvation
Darlin' (2019 dir. Polyanna Macintosh)Woman's bad habit has only just benun.
Night of the Eagle (1962 dir. Sidney Hayers)Witch wages war while wielding winged waptor
13 Ghosts, dir Steve BeckIn glass houses ghosts throw first stone
Wishmaster 3 I wish Divoff was in this movie
The Damned thing For Patrick Masters of horror. Season 2 ep 1Director Tobe Hooper Ted Raimi as a priest! I'm in
AFTER LIFE (2009) Liam Neeson wearing Crocs: the TRUE horror!
Starry EyesSilent Scream, disappointingly not a Chaplin slasher
Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's DRACULA (1992)Gary Oldman says he's bringing SEXY DRAC!
Waxwork (1988)Still more fun than going to Branson
Antebellum (2020)"Bad because the trailer is deceiving" - IMDB
Strangler vs Strangler (1984)Murder, media, mass mania! Delightful Serbian satire.
The Shape of Water. 2017. Guillermo del ToroFish monster gets more action than me.
Or:Half fish. Half man. All, uhh... man.
MONSTROSITY (1963) The little old zombie lady from Pasadena.
TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER (1976, dir. Peter Sykes)Underaged nudity makes this Hammer’s creepiest yet!
Terrifier (2016) 3:1 odds in Eli Roth’s spank bank?
Spiral (2020)In order of watching.... Interesting. Creepy. AAAAAAAAAA!
Halloween (2007)Love hurts. So does a big knife.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)Denise's dad doesn't deserve daughter's deadly detour.
The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (AKA Let Sleeping Corpses Lie) (1975)Don't trust anyone over 30... decimeters deep!
Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990)"Mark Margolis was always that old, huh?"
LEGION (2010) The little old demonic lady from Pasadena.
Cat People (1942)Predatory psychotherapist get what's coming to him
Horror Roulette wheel #2: Lost Gully Road 2017 Dir. Donna McRaeQuiet little indie. Great setting. Nice surprise!
Terror in the aisles (1984)This is cool....wait, why’s Nighthawks here?
The Howling (1981) director Joe DanteShame what happened to Robert Picardo's hairline
Halloween 2 (2009)Studio: Make all characters unlikable.Rob: Done!
THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991);So, Thing is a sex toy, right?
Salem's Lot (1979)James Mason pronounces "Kurt" very, very unusually.
SILVER BULLET (1985, dir. Dan Attias)Sheriff isn’t concerned enough about Corey’s “wheelchair”.
Boogeyman (2005)I wish stuff like this really happened
Jaws 2 (1978)Starting to think this Mayor is incompetent.
Bliss (2019)Wanna know how a drug overdose feels?
The Final TerrorI don’t have anything witty to say.
STARFISH (2018) Pretty Blonde Girl is Sad: The Movie!
Thinner (1996)Back when they’d adapt King’s grocery list
Man's Best Friend (1993)I don't recommend Henriksen's dog sitting service.OrThat poor pup was treated pretty Sheedy.
🤣😂
Frankenstein (1931)“...no decay. Just a *shitload* of stitches.”
Theatre of Blood (1973) Price is surfing the river of ham!
House on Haunted Hill (1959)Wish my basement had convenient acid vat.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1995)Not just good, it's alright, alright, alright!
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)Fried chicken from gas station surprisingly good.
Shivers (1975) director David CronenbergBut what if slugs had nipple eyes?
The Howling (1981)Christopher Stone is Michelob Ultra Tom Atkins
A Quiet Place (2018)Yelling loudly helps me break the tension
Sea Fever(2019) Sunny Sojourn at Sea sunk by Ginger
THE OTHER LAMB (2019) Is this horror, or Jared Leto biopic?
Bite (2015)Extra Points: Eating slimy foods during viewing
Isle of The Dead (1945) Val Lewton's Various Viral Vampire Village. "Vorvolaka?"
The Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)The Queer Cinema of the Nightmare series.
A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)Unfunny early stuff from America's favourite humorist.
Scream 3(2000)Every 2021 movie "pulled a Stab 3"
Feardotcom(2002) Fear Inducing websites? Harbinger of social media
Odd Thomas (2013, dir. Stephen Sommers)Willem Dafoe should be named Willem Dafriend.
The Fall of the House of Ushers (1960)Seems easy to defeat Usher...just fart.
Witchfinder General (1968)Test is easy it's pass or fail.
Peeping Tom (1960)I was expecting more creeping and peeping.
Cam (2018) final Lola battle unsettling, but still tipped
Evil Dead 2013 Bluray import longer version Extra nail gun fun makes me smile
The Black Room (1935)Stop. Nobody leaves without singin the blues.
😂👍
Mad Love (1935)Chris O'Donnell is uglier than I remember.
👏🤣
The Man Who Changed His Mind (1936)Hi! I'm Lord Haslewood's handsome son Dick!
Song at Midnight (1937)Chinese Phantom of the Opera / Pizza Face
The Terror of Tiny Town (1938)Not gonna say a god damn thing.
SATAN’S BLADE (1984) Finally, a horror movie where everybody’s horny.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)Foreigners? You came yesterday. We came today.
The Driller Killer (1979)New York was typecast in the 70's
Brainscan (1994)Furlong sweats profusely and chugs milk. Recommended.
(😂)
HOCUS POCUS (1993):This is why my virginity terrified me.
Death of Me (2020) Dir. Darren Lynn BousmanDarren Lynn finally makes an okay film.
Mortuary (1983)Beware of flying tires and human cigarettes
Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020)Vampires?...sure Priests drinking sprite? ...nah, unrealistic
THE THING (1982)Dir. John Carpenter Kurt Russell's magnificent beard saves Earth....maybe.
Alone (2020)Nature is indifferent while Man is wicked.
A Cold Night's Death (1973) It's okay. The monkeys are just cold.
SCREAM 2 (1997, dir. Wes Craven)Screw Ghostface for cockblocking Gail and Dewey.
Psycho II (1983)If not one thing it's a mother.
The Babysitter: Killer Queen (McQ, 2020)Now with one hundred percent less babysitting
*McG
Warm Bodies (2013). Boney threat more relevant now than then.
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, dir Raja Gosnell, 2004Where disco lives at bad guy's bar
Sleepy Hollow (1999)This movie would trigger Ned Stark's kids.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)Alice Harford's a rich man's Kara Strode
Critters (1986)Best part is when the critter swears.
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969)Long way from Monster to just "Guy."
Firestarter(1984). Drew Barrymore burns bright in starring role
Spellcaster (1988; vinegar syndrome) (Brightly lit) Castle on Haunted (Italian) Hill
Doctor Sleep (2019)They'll hand out PhDs for anything now
Strangeland (1998): Twisted Sister and Hot Topic’s unwanted offspring.
The Witch in the Window (Mitton, 2018)Weekends with Dad have gotten really spooky
PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (1974) Beef! Beef! Beef! Beef! Beef! Beef! Beef!
The Innkeepers (2012)Need more vehicles driven by Sara Paxton
The black coats daughter (2015) Human head furnaces are unsurprisingly high maintenance
Elizabeth harvest (2018)Minus human experimentation lab, house is nice
Silent Hill (2006)The hill is silent except for snoring.
Last House on the Left (2009)Cravin' Craven's understandable. I prefer Iliadis' odyssey.
Madhouse (1974) dir. Jim ClarkEven clip show Price is really right
Scare MeDairy also turns me into a psychopath.
Bad Taste (1987)There's still not enough alien butt cheeks.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)We've been over this, fish don't roar.
High Tension (2003)Decapitated head giving head only in head.
Bliss (2019)Blood is a hell of a drug.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)WHO IN THE FUCK IS FUCKING WHO?
House of 1000 Corpses (2003): Why did Rufus actually change their tire?
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)Only one lady klown had inflatable boobs.
Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)Better title: Three Drunk Dandies Meet Frankenstein
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)The worst Leprechaun movie by a lightyear.
Hellbent (Paul Etheredge-Ouzts, 2004)Slashers aren’t fun without chasing or scaring.
Stake Land (2010)“The Walking Vampire” seasons one through four.
Lord of Illusions (1995)Always knew David Blaine was pure evil.
Fade To Black (1980)Ritz crackers in the bed I understand!
Dead & Buried (1981)In Potter's Bluff, "Make Corpses Great Again!"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTod Browning's DRACULA (1931, TCM).
DeleteSidney Prescott's right: Never fuck with original!
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 (1987, DVD).
ReplyDeleteWho knew recycling was so much fun.
or
Still waiting for "Chaos: The Motion Picture!"
VEROTIKA (2019, Amazon Renta) with the FThisMovie Commentary Track.
ReplyDelete"Sin City" aspirations meet "Amazing Bulk" reality.
or
With 100% more honest-to-goodness, award-winning filmmaker opinion.
Homecoming (2005)
ReplyDeleteSimpsons was wrong. The Dead vote democratic.
THE PERFUME OF THE LADY IN BLACK (1974, Dir. Francesco Barilli)
ReplyDeleteFlimsy Mimsy Morphs Into Monstrous Murder Mommy.
Paranormal Activity 2 (2010, dir. Tod Williams)
ReplyDeleteThree people wrote this. Now that’s scary.
Predator 2 dir Stephen Hopkins 1990
ReplyDeleteAll of Paxton's line readings are gold
Contamination, dir Luigi Cozzi 1980
ReplyDeleteJust sitting here watching an egg breathe
Lifeforce 1985 Tobe Hooper
ReplyDeleteContact with foreign bats creates global crisis.
I Married a Witch (1944 - René Clair) *first time
ReplyDeleteNot scary - yet a fine Halloween flick.
Time Lapse (2014, dir. Bradley King)
ReplyDeleteCharacters accept the crazy premise surprisingly quickly.
As easy as it admittedly is to poke holes in it, I liked the twist on the usual setup of "time" movies, and really enjoyed it!
DeleteThe Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)
ReplyDeleteMononymous Man makes movie
transcending Terminator Talvation
Darlin' (2019 dir. Polyanna Macintosh)
ReplyDeleteWoman's bad habit has only just benun.
Night of the Eagle (1962 dir. Sidney Hayers)
ReplyDeleteWitch wages war while wielding winged waptor
13 Ghosts, dir Steve Beck
ReplyDeleteIn glass houses ghosts throw first stone
Wishmaster 3
ReplyDeleteI wish Divoff was in this movie
The Damned thing
ReplyDeleteFor Patrick
Masters of horror. Season 2 ep 1
Director Tobe Hooper
Ted Raimi as a priest! I'm in
AFTER LIFE (2009)
ReplyDeleteLiam Neeson wearing Crocs: the TRUE horror!
Starry Eyes
ReplyDeleteSilent Scream, disappointingly not a Chaplin slasher
Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's DRACULA (1992)
ReplyDeleteGary Oldman says he's bringing SEXY DRAC!
Waxwork (1988)
ReplyDeleteStill more fun than going to Branson
Antebellum (2020)
ReplyDelete"Bad because the trailer is deceiving" - IMDB
Strangler vs Strangler (1984)
ReplyDeleteMurder, media, mass mania! Delightful Serbian satire.
The Shape of Water. 2017. Guillermo del Toro
ReplyDeleteFish monster gets more action than me.
Or:
DeleteHalf fish. Half man. All, uhh... man.
MONSTROSITY (1963)
ReplyDeleteThe little old zombie lady from Pasadena.
TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER (1976, dir. Peter Sykes)
ReplyDeleteUnderaged nudity makes this Hammer’s creepiest yet!
Terrifier (2016)
ReplyDelete3:1 odds in Eli Roth’s spank bank?
Spiral (2020)
ReplyDeleteIn order of watching.... Interesting. Creepy. AAAAAAAAAA!
Halloween (2007)
ReplyDeleteLove hurts. So does a big knife.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
ReplyDeleteDenise's dad doesn't deserve daughter's deadly detour.
The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (AKA Let Sleeping Corpses Lie) (1975)
ReplyDeleteDon't trust anyone over 30... decimeters deep!
Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990)
ReplyDelete"Mark Margolis was always that old, huh?"
LEGION (2010)
ReplyDeleteThe little old demonic lady from Pasadena.
Cat People (1942)
ReplyDeletePredatory psychotherapist get what's coming to him
Horror Roulette wheel #2: Lost Gully Road 2017 Dir. Donna McRae
ReplyDeleteQuiet little indie. Great setting. Nice surprise!
Terror in the aisles (1984)
ReplyDeleteThis is cool....wait, why’s Nighthawks here?
The Howling (1981) director Joe Dante
ReplyDeleteShame what happened to Robert Picardo's hairline
Halloween 2 (2009)
ReplyDeleteStudio: Make all characters unlikable.
Rob: Done!
THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991);
ReplyDeleteSo, Thing is a sex toy, right?
Salem's Lot (1979)
ReplyDeleteJames Mason pronounces "Kurt" very, very unusually.
SILVER BULLET (1985, dir. Dan Attias)
ReplyDeleteSheriff isn’t concerned enough about Corey’s “wheelchair”.
Boogeyman (2005)
ReplyDeleteI wish stuff like this really happened
Jaws 2 (1978)
ReplyDeleteStarting to think this Mayor is incompetent.
Bliss (2019)
ReplyDeleteWanna know how a drug overdose feels?
The Final Terror
ReplyDeleteI don’t have anything witty to say.
STARFISH (2018)
ReplyDeletePretty Blonde Girl is Sad: The Movie!
Thinner (1996)
ReplyDeleteBack when they’d adapt King’s grocery list
Man's Best Friend (1993)
ReplyDeleteI don't recommend Henriksen's dog sitting service.
Or
That poor pup was treated pretty Sheedy.
🤣😂
DeleteFrankenstein (1931)
ReplyDelete“...no decay. Just a *shitload* of stitches.”
Theatre of Blood (1973)
ReplyDeletePrice is surfing the river of ham!
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
ReplyDeleteWish my basement had convenient acid vat.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1995)
ReplyDeleteNot just good, it's alright, alright, alright!
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
ReplyDeleteFried chicken from gas station surprisingly good.
Shivers (1975) director David Cronenberg
ReplyDeleteBut what if slugs had nipple eyes?
The Howling (1981)
ReplyDeleteChristopher Stone is Michelob Ultra Tom Atkins
A Quiet Place (2018)
ReplyDeleteYelling loudly helps me break the tension
Sea Fever(2019) Sunny Sojourn at Sea sunk by Ginger
ReplyDeleteTHE OTHER LAMB (2019)
ReplyDeleteIs this horror, or Jared Leto biopic?
Bite (2015)
ReplyDeleteExtra Points: Eating slimy foods during viewing
Isle of The Dead (1945)
ReplyDeleteVal Lewton's Various Viral Vampire Village. "Vorvolaka?"
The Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
ReplyDeleteThe Queer Cinema of the Nightmare series.
A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteUnfunny early stuff from America's favourite humorist.
Scream 3(2000)
ReplyDeleteEvery 2021 movie "pulled a Stab 3"
Feardotcom(2002) Fear Inducing websites? Harbinger of social media
ReplyDeleteOdd Thomas (2013, dir. Stephen Sommers)
ReplyDeleteWillem Dafoe should be named Willem Dafriend.
The Fall of the House of Ushers (1960)
ReplyDeleteSeems easy to defeat Usher...just fart.
Witchfinder General (1968)
ReplyDeleteTest is easy it's pass or fail.
Peeping Tom (1960)
ReplyDeleteI was expecting more creeping and peeping.
Cam (2018)
ReplyDeletefinal Lola battle unsettling, but still tipped
Evil Dead 2013 Bluray import longer version
ReplyDeleteExtra nail gun fun makes me smile
The Black Room (1935)
ReplyDeleteStop. Nobody leaves without singin the blues.
😂👍
DeleteMad Love (1935)
ReplyDeleteChris O'Donnell is uglier than I remember.
👏🤣
DeleteThe Man Who Changed His Mind (1936)
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm Lord Haslewood's handsome son Dick!
Song at Midnight (1937)
ReplyDeleteChinese Phantom of the Opera / Pizza Face
The Terror of Tiny Town (1938)
ReplyDeleteNot gonna say a god damn thing.
SATAN’S BLADE (1984)
ReplyDeleteFinally, a horror movie where everybody’s horny.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)
ReplyDeleteForeigners? You came yesterday. We came today.
The Driller Killer (1979)
ReplyDeleteNew York was typecast in the 70's
Brainscan (1994)
ReplyDeleteFurlong sweats profusely and chugs milk. Recommended.
(😂)
DeleteHOCUS POCUS (1993):
ReplyDeleteThis is why my virginity terrified me.
Death of Me (2020) Dir. Darren Lynn Bousman
ReplyDeleteDarren Lynn finally makes an okay film.
Mortuary (1983)
ReplyDeleteBeware of flying tires and human cigarettes
Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020)
ReplyDeleteVampires?...sure
Priests drinking sprite? ...nah, unrealistic
THE THING (1982)
ReplyDeleteDir. John Carpenter
Kurt Russell's magnificent beard saves Earth....maybe.
Alone (2020)
ReplyDeleteNature is indifferent while Man is wicked.
A Cold Night's Death (1973)
ReplyDeleteIt's okay. The monkeys are just cold.
SCREAM 2 (1997, dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteScrew Ghostface for cockblocking Gail and Dewey.
👏🤣
DeletePsycho II (1983)
ReplyDeleteIf not one thing it's a mother.
👏🤣
DeleteThe Babysitter: Killer Queen (McQ, 2020)
ReplyDeleteNow with one hundred percent less babysitting
*McG
DeleteWarm Bodies (2013).
ReplyDeleteBoney threat more relevant now than then.
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, dir Raja Gosnell, 2004
ReplyDeleteWhere disco lives at bad guy's bar
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteThis movie would trigger Ned Stark's kids.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
ReplyDeleteAlice Harford's a rich man's Kara Strode
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCritters (1986)
ReplyDeleteBest part is when the critter swears.
Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969)
ReplyDeleteLong way from Monster to just "Guy."
Firestarter(1984). Drew Barrymore burns bright in starring role
ReplyDeleteSpellcaster (1988; vinegar syndrome)
ReplyDelete(Brightly lit) Castle on Haunted (Italian) Hill
Doctor Sleep (2019)
ReplyDeleteThey'll hand out PhDs for anything now
Strangeland (1998): Twisted Sister and Hot Topic’s unwanted offspring.
ReplyDeleteThe Witch in the Window (Mitton, 2018)
ReplyDeleteWeekends with Dad have gotten really spooky
PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (1974)
ReplyDeleteBeef! Beef! Beef! Beef! Beef! Beef! Beef!
The Innkeepers (2012)
ReplyDeleteNeed more vehicles driven by Sara Paxton
The black coats daughter (2015)
ReplyDeleteHuman head furnaces are unsurprisingly high maintenance
Elizabeth harvest (2018)
ReplyDeleteMinus human experimentation lab, house is nice
Silent Hill (2006)
ReplyDeleteThe hill is silent except for snoring.
Last House on the Left (2009)
ReplyDeleteCravin' Craven's understandable. I prefer Iliadis' odyssey.
Madhouse (1974) dir. Jim Clark
ReplyDeleteEven clip show Price is really right
Scare Me
ReplyDeleteDairy also turns me into a psychopath.
Bad Taste (1987)
ReplyDeleteThere's still not enough alien butt cheeks.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
ReplyDeleteWe've been over this, fish don't roar.
High Tension (2003)
ReplyDeleteDecapitated head giving head only in head.
Bliss (2019)
ReplyDeleteBlood is a hell of a drug.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
ReplyDeleteWHO IN THE FUCK IS FUCKING WHO?
House of 1000 Corpses (2003): Why did Rufus actually change their tire?
ReplyDeleteKiller Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
ReplyDeleteOnly one lady klown had inflatable boobs.
Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)
ReplyDeleteBetter title: Three Drunk Dandies Meet Frankenstein
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)
ReplyDeleteThe worst Leprechaun movie by a lightyear.
Hellbent (Paul Etheredge-Ouzts, 2004)
ReplyDeleteSlashers aren’t fun without chasing or scaring.
Stake Land (2010)
ReplyDelete“The Walking Vampire” seasons one through four.
Lord of Illusions (1995)
ReplyDeleteAlways knew David Blaine was pure evil.
Fade To Black (1980)
ReplyDeleteRitz crackers in the bed I understand!
Dead & Buried (1981)
ReplyDeleteIn Potter's Bluff, "Make Corpses Great Again!"