JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES (1998, Epix Drive-In)James Woods, Catholic Church deserve each other.orDaniel, the Joe Besser of Baldwin clan.
Tomas Alfredson's LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008, Blu-ray).Eli, meet bullies from "Karate Kid" trilogy.orClose eyes... imagine Glenn Danzing version... AAAAHHHHH!!!
Peter Hyam's THE RELIC (1997, Blu-ray)Museum's holding fundraiser to pay electrical bill.or'Kothoga's' Amazonian for 'Sizemore sniffed whole blow!'
In the Mouth of Madness (1995)There’s a movie! Liked the book better.
US (2019, Dir. Jordan Peele)Tether yourself to a throat lozenge, lady.
This one really made me crack up. Bravo!
The Vampire Lovers (1970 - Roy Ward Baker) *first time Sexy seductive succubus solely suck sanguine serous.
The Gorgon, dir Terence Fisher 1964She's my Lover, she's my Gorgon .... what?
The Plauge of the Zombies, dir John Gilling, 1966One Zombie really looks like Donald Sutherland
Fantasy Island (2020)Starts fun, twists viewer into dull incredulity
Blade II. 2002. Guillermo del ToroWesley Snipes unconvincing as a part human.
Satanic Panic (2019)Day in the life of food courier
Monster SquadGimme a shout out on podcast, Bitch!
Mirrors (2008) Alexandre AjaPatrick, you are fine never watching this.
Slumber Party Massacre 2If only the guitar-drill manufacturers predicted this
THE PRODIGY (2019) Being an evil genius sure is boring.
The Changeling (1980)Vengeful house rattles George C Scott, chandelier
Halloween 2018Retcon to original makes mess of plot.
Case 39 (2009):Zellweger's genuine performance almost saved this one.
The Thing (2011)I'm just here for Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Bad Samaritan (2018)Doctor Who the fuck is this psycho?
Little Stranger (2018):Wishing male privilege was just a phantom. OrSome people think Ruth Wilson isn't gorgeous?
Villains (2019)Another reason I haven't pierced my tongue.
BODY BAGS (1993):Stacy Keach’s luscious locks haunt my dreams.
The Legend of Halloween Jack (2018, Andrew Jones)A waste of a perfectly cool costume.
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)Kinda wish we'd gotten President Clamp instead
Prom Night (1980)Every slasher needs an extended disco sequence.
The Thing (2011)Gotta practice social distancing and self quarantine...
Excision (2012, dir. Richard Bates Jr.)Zits, boys, bird autopsy. Normal teenage stuff.
Ginger Snaps (2000)Troubled teen tears town to total tatters.
Holidays (2016)Maybe I should have been drunk watching...
Would You Rather (2012)Ricky, fireworks better when "drunk as F**K"
DR. JEKYLL ET LES FEMMES (1981) Yes, show more people sloshing in bathtubs.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers(1978)2020 me: no more emotions? Bed time!
10/31 (2017)Breaks anthology mold with zero good stories.
Ready or Not (2019) Dir. Radio SilenceGet out and vote, people. It's important.
The House by the CemeteryCherished Family Memories: Dad Killing a Bat
Creepshow (1982) Man, Bernie Sanders really wants his cake!
The Blob (1988)Terror HAS a shape, alright: Kevin's mullet
Night of the Creeps (1986)Could have used more stubby nude aliens.
Wolf (1994)Horror for rich people living in Wilmette.
AMITYVILLE II: THE POSSESSION (1982, dir. Damiano Damiani)Okay, but the sister has no excuse...
Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974)Frankenstein: Good Chef forever using bad ingredients.
GINGER SNAPS (2000):Remember when “not caring” was hard work?
Girl on the third floor (2019)CM Punk buys a gooey, marbley house
Oculus (2013)a tragic end to once lovable stoner
Friday the 13th(1980). It's Curtains for Counselors occupying Curtianless Cabins
Final Destination 5 (2011, dir. Steven Quale)Presage? Just call the firm Doomed Inc.
Ghostbusters (1984)Proves that Draft Day wasn't a fluke
I love that!But which one's better?
Once Bitten (1985]Nice glimpse of Jim Carrey to come
Halloween III Season of the Witch(1982) Today THESE masks would not be recommended
The Slayer (1982)She puts that kitty in the freezer.
Frogs (1972) director George McCowanAmphibians propagate, nocturnally promulgate, existentially emancipate Confederates
Maniac 1980Joe spinnel has magic in his eyes
They Live (1988)And I wear my sunglasses at night
Fantasy Island (2020)T is for twist that doesnt work
Monster in the Closet (1986)Paul Walker is neither fast nor furious.
Devil (2010, dir. John Erick Dowdle)Finnish NHL player Timonen mentioned in passing!
Scream 3 (2000)Why does Scream 3 even have cameos?
1BR (2020) What a strange episode of Nailed It.
Scare Me (2020)Overlong improv sketch with some good moments
Suspiria (1977)Release CATS the Argento Cut you cowards
Ringu (1998)It turn's out she didn't mean well.
Ringu 2 (1999)All's well that end's in a well.
The Exorcist III (1990)Wow, I need the deluxe garden shears.
THE HOWLING 2: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF (1985):Should’ve invited Christopher Lee to the orgy.
Dead of Night (1945)Could watch the golf segment all day.
This is top 3 anthologies to me.
Wolf (1994)Publishings such a dog eat dog businessorprobably not the first shoe Jack ruined
House of Usher (1960)"Simon Phoenix" Price vs. "Danny Zuko" Damon.
The Babysitter Killer Queen (2020)Herpes couch and dick towel: perfect double-feature.
The Fanatic (2019) Worst and best self-promotion by a producer.
BLOOD FRENZY (1987) Gives new meaning to “hard desert living.”
Lisa Loring. I love this and ICED.
The Boy (2016)Lauren Cohan in bathroom towel. Five stars.
Halloween II (1981)WHY CAN'T ANYONE USE A LIGHT SWITCH?!?!
Grave Encounters (2011)Underrated found footage, if that's your thing.
Some coolness, but being Blunt, Del Boro.
Antebellum (2020)Why do baddies gotta ruin Industrial music?
The Abominable Snowman, dir Val Guest, 1957Science vs Greed. Monster takes the spoils.
Shivers (1975)Hereby dub Cronenberg: Master of "Anatomy Terror".
HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988):Family’s a real thumb in the skull.
In The Mouth of Madness (1994)Maybe reading isn't so good for you.
The Reptile, dir John Gilling, 1966Don't look, it's a bad reptile day.
Monster House, dir. Gil Kenan, 2006Ideal for a baby's first horror movie.
Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974)Body? Darth Vader. Hands? James Bond's M!
An American Haunting (2005)Slaving, swindling, pedophiles are bad. No shit.
Horror of Frankenstein (1970)Doctor faces problems old fashioned way: monster.
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)Grand Moff Tarkin makes Dooku all over.
PHANTOM OF THE MEGAPLEX (2000):A boring sequel to LAST ACTION HERO!
Halloween Party (2019) Dir. Jay DahlComplete mess. Feels like 1997. Dug it!
The Lodge (2019)Don't let dad marry schizophrenic babysitter, dead
From Beyond (1986)Too late getting Crampton on Presidential ticket?
Drag Me to Hell (Raimi, 2009)Goat action that might rival Black Phillip
SCHOOL GIRL SCREAMERS (1987) File under “doesn’t live up to title.”
Pieces (1982) director Juan SimoneCan't say this movie lacks balls... Nevermind!
Beetlejuice (1988)Belafonte transcends barrier between life and death
Pet Sematary (1989) Dir. Mary LambertPros: Rich Family, RedheadCons: Spinal Meningitis
THE WOLF MAN (1941, dir. George Waggner)Why’s the Invisible Man so judgey here?
Darling (2015)Looks great. Sounds great. Must be great.
Underworld (2003)Anyone else play Vampire:The Masquerade? ..Anybody?
Host (2020)Millenial Blair Witch wannabe joins zoom party
Halloween (1978)Haddonfield’s grown-up Halloween parties must be poppin
Witchboard (1987)I love you, Ouija board. I know.
Silence of the Lambs (1991)“Was she a great big fat person?”
The Skull (1965)Said skull is hella good at floating.
Sugar Hill (1974)Having a Supernatural Voodoo Woman fixes everything.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)Poster is better than movie. Still fun.
The Mummy (1932)“It came without organ-yoinkers, sarcophagus, or rags!”
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)Sarah Bellows sucks, should've been an anthology.
Baskin (2015)Turkish version of hell is fucking terrifying
The Other Lamb (2019, Malgorzata Szumowska)Boring cult movie with good hair, ending
Zombie (1979)Is Olga Karlatos' death iconic or eye-conic?
Halloween (2007)Big Mikey likey sistas head on spikey
Crawl (2019)Gator likes to chomp chomp on legs
From Beyond (1986)So sexy, my forehead got an erection!
The Devil's AdvocateAl Pacino is definitely my favorite sin
Dimentia 13 (1963) director Francis Ford CoppolaWorried I missed Dimentias 1 through 12
Fallen (1998)I think this is a COVID metaphor.
AloneDr. Chilton still sucks at handling psychopaths.
Halloween II (2009)It's like a trailer park fairy tale!
Taste of Fear (1961)Gaslighting Disabled Heiresses for Fun and Profit
Black Rock (2012)Stop, you had me at “Lake Bell”
10/31 (2017)Highlight: Roller skate dancing Cobra Kai skeletons
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)So much scarier than 2D Jason was.
Vampires vs. The Bronx (2020, Oz Rodriguez)Training montage: "We got this; we're Blades!"
Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)It’s singing, dancing, fun until... it isn’t.
Host (2020)Another “found footage” possessed Microsoft product movie?!