MERMAID: THE LAKE OF THE DEAD (2018, Shout! TV) for the first time.Lake? Check. Dead? Sure. Mermaid? "Troll 2."orLow-budget Russian flick pulls off Blumhouse aesthetic.
Anthony Perkins' PSYCHO III (1986, DVD)An unnecessary sequel? NUN of your business.
Bong Joon-ho's THE HOST (2006, HD-DVD)Back when arrow-slinging female felt new, exciting.orRemove creature and family dynamic's still engaging.
The Beach House (2019)Inchworm? More like Footworm! Seriously though, ow.
Ju On: Origins (2020 Dir. Sho Miyake)Cantankerous cats kill kawaii kids. Cool Kaidan.
Vivarium (2019)Chilling view of the Trump kids upbringing.
The Thing (2011)9 of 10 dentists recommend this prequelorI have feelings (fillings) too, you know!
Sleepy Hollow (1999):Ichabod robs graves and then the cradle
THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (2014, Dir. Alfonso Gomez-Rejon) Mystic River kid refuses to stop killing.
The other side of the door (2016): Atmospheric and a great use of setting.
Halloween (1978 dir John Carpenter)Damn! Even I can't drive a stick.
Monster on the Campus, dir Jack Arnold 1958Fossilised gamma rays - hell of a drug
Halloween II (1981)ARREST THE COP WHO KILLED BEN TRAMER.
🤣👏
Vampire in Brooklyn, dir Wes Craven, 1995Angela Bassett is all beauty and light
SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999) Take a drink whenever someone says “Hessian.”
Hubie Halloween (2020)Proof movies are better with Halloween atmosphere.
Paranormal Activity (2007 - Oren Peli) WWF's In Your House 10: Mind Games
HOST (2020) - A Shudder Original ZOOM calls are evil? We knew already.
1408 Directors Cut(2007)Hotel offers you penthouse upgrade? Take it
Amazon says this is horror. ok sure.The Lie(2018)Predicting Patrick's two word review. "its fine"
SWEENY TODD (2007) My seven word review is complete again!
manhattan baby 1982:Eye see what you did there, Lucio
The Lure 2015:Beats shark Tale, best fish musical ever!
Devil (2010)Just please don't fart in the elevator.
House of 1000 CorpsesShouldn't it be "Well of ~100 Corpses"
The Ritual (2017)Downton Abbey guy expands on pissy repertoirespoiler: he wets himself
Satanic Panic (2019)Tasty salad, fun movie. Necessary ingredient? Romijn.
From Beyond Chekov’s samurai sword, grabs a kitchen knife
Cherry FallsThe award for worst boyfriend goes to...
PEEPING TOM (1961) Movie is one big Edward Hopper painting.
Vidocq aka Dark Portals: The Chronicles of Vidocq (2001, dir. Pitof)There are few actors of Depardieu's stature.
The Car (1977)Satanic sedan systematically slaughters sundry sandy civilians.
The Haunting (1999) director Jan de Bont"Lili, imagine you're a daft toddler... Action!"
Phantom of the Megaplex (2000) director Blair TreauMegaplex Teens become Cecil B. Demented's crewORRiske-hive rise up, demand 'Under Wraps'!
The Cleansing Hour (2019)Best naked priest, snuff hokey-pokey performance ever.
Christine (1983)Horny teen's obsession kicks into high gear
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)What's with all the Abe Lincoln photos?
INVASION OF THE VAMPIRES (1963) Invasion of the standing around and talking.
Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire (2000, dir. Steve Boyum)Because I've a year's subscription to Disney+.
Shaun Of The Dead (2004)Eventually, will try counting all the callbacks
Bio Hunter (1995, dir. Yuzo Sato)Science nerds vaccinate demomic boils, rescue goils
Aww man... *Demonic
Hubie Halloween (2020)My first, and last, Sandler Netflix movie.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987) Problems with Santa? Judaic conversion viable solution.
LET’S NOT MEET (2018) Let’s not watch this unbelievably boring movie.
Martyrs (2015)Shockingly, suicide by slight fall not fatal.
31 (2016)Dirty, swearing, covered in blood. Classic Zombie!
Books of Blood (2020)So vein you think it's aorta you
🤔🤗
Friday the 13th Part II (1981)That sweater is so last Summer's Movie.
Late Phases: Night of the Lone Wolf (2014)Gated community oddly calm about monthly maulings.
Summer of Fear (1978)Never let Linda Blair around a horse.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)Giant evil gods? I won 2020 bingo!
The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)Clucking like a chicken would have sufficed.
Videodrome (1983)Somehow less creepy than actual James Woods.
The Wretched (2019)How would I describe this witch? Spunky
Death Line (1972)Jethro Tull finally succumbs to cannibalistic urges.
The Last House On The Left (1972)Now remember kids, always know your dealer.
Horror of Dracula (1958)Director’s two notes: “Faster” and “More British.”
Curse of the Fly (1965, dir. Don Sharp)KEEP MIKE PENCE AWAY FROM THE TELEPODS.
WICKED LAKE (2008) I spit on four graves this time.
White Noise (2005)Police never suspects white guy finding bodies
Horrors of the Black Museum (1959)Michael Gough nails down some exciting headlines.
They Live Inside Us (2020) Dir. Michael Ballif ("The Witching Season")Ballif loves Halloween and it shows, again.
Bad Moon (1996) per Reserved Seating: Werewolf MoviesAnd the Oscar goes to...Primo Thor!
Seriously, the dog is awesome. A Michael Jordan 1996 like performance.
The Omega Man (1971)That’s a lot of cold, dead hands
Fade to Black (1980)Thomerson just slept with Chris Pine's mom.
The Call - Millennials know how rotary phone works... implausible
Hubie Halloween - Sandler goes full retard again... no Oscar
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011):"Alright, who had 'Make America Great Again'?"
Satan's Little Helper (2004)What happened to fuck this kid up?
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) Dir. Jack SholderMagically materializes corporeal body....goes to work.
House of Dracula (1945)Feels like the Nursing Home of Dracula
Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)My nostalgia blinds me to its faults.
The Manitou (1978)Sounds like a hockey team from Manitoba.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)Did not expect Alice in Wonderland allusion.
Friday the 13th (1980)"I'm shocked it's actually...MOTHER!!" - Danzig, probably
Tell your children to jump outta lakes...
Books of Blood (2020)Hulu movie plays like a Hulu movie.
Friday the 13th (1980)Steve's shorts look even better in 4K!
The Stuff (Cohen, 1985)Ben and Jerry's should get on this
Jason X (2001)Jason cranky when awoken from space sleep
Bram Stokers Dracula (1992) director Francis Ford CoppolaI've crossed oceans of time... since March
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)Blair Witch is not a sound bite
Fright Night Part 2 (1988)Traci Lind should be in every movie.
CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011) Everything builds to, "Tequila is my lady!"
HASTA EL VIENTO TIENE MIEDO/ EVEN THE WIND IS AFRAID (1968) - On Tubi TVThe creepy company of supernatural suicidal schoolgirls
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)Oh, like a cat and mouse game.
Hubie Halloween (2020)I feel like this movie shouldn’t count.
Class of 1999 (1990, dir. Mark L. Lester)Screenwriter [rips bong]: The teachers... are Terminators...
Hellraiser III: Hell on EarthPinhead. Real pillar of the Cenobite community.
Beyond The Door (1974) Pea soup, never leave home without it.
Dr. Black & Mr. Hyde (1976)Casey and climax at Watts Tower: brilliant.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)Was a Primus video for a bit.
The Crow (1994)Onions do, in fact, make me fart.
Incident in a Ghostland (2018)The real horror: that chin on Lovecraft.
LADRONES DE TUMBAS/ GRAVE ROBBERS (1990) Lesson in why grave robbing is wrong.Or I never knew Mexico had an Inquisition.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)Debbie turns into a bug - kinda cool.
Possessor (2020)Cronenberg? Wonder if he's... yup definitely related.
The Dead Zone (1983) That's So Raven ripped this shit off!
Final Destination 2 (’03, Ellis)The one that inspired all those memes.
"We Hate Movies" had a podcast episode in this last week. Worth the listen!
Vampires (1998 John Carpenter)Better movie: Mark Boone Junior Vampire Hunter
Fright Night (1985 Tom Holland)Sarandon is spectacular, Brewster is a buzzkill
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)It is NOES. Need I say more?
MERMAID: THE LAKE OF THE DEAD (2018, Shout! TV) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteLake? Check. Dead? Sure. Mermaid? "Troll 2."
or
Low-budget Russian flick pulls off Blumhouse aesthetic.
Anthony Perkins' PSYCHO III (1986, DVD)
ReplyDeleteAn unnecessary sequel? NUN of your business.
Bong Joon-ho's THE HOST (2006, HD-DVD)
ReplyDeleteBack when arrow-slinging female felt new, exciting.
or
Remove creature and family dynamic's still engaging.
The Beach House (2019)
ReplyDeleteInchworm? More like Footworm! Seriously though, ow.
Ju On: Origins (2020 Dir. Sho Miyake)
ReplyDeleteCantankerous cats kill kawaii kids. Cool Kaidan.
Vivarium (2019)
ReplyDeleteChilling view of the Trump kids upbringing.
The Thing (2011)
ReplyDelete9 of 10 dentists recommend this prequel
or
I have feelings (fillings) too, you know!
Sleepy Hollow (1999):
ReplyDeleteIchabod robs graves and then the cradle
THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (2014, Dir. Alfonso Gomez-Rejon)
ReplyDeleteMystic River kid refuses to stop killing.
The other side of the door (2016):
ReplyDeleteAtmospheric and a great use of setting.
Halloween (1978 dir John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteDamn! Even I can't drive a stick.
Monster on the Campus, dir Jack Arnold 1958
ReplyDeleteFossilised gamma rays - hell of a drug
Halloween II (1981)
ReplyDeleteARREST THE COP WHO KILLED BEN TRAMER.
🤣👏
DeleteVampire in Brooklyn, dir Wes Craven, 1995
ReplyDeleteAngela Bassett is all beauty and light
SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999)
ReplyDeleteTake a drink whenever someone says “Hessian.”
Hubie Halloween (2020)
ReplyDeleteProof movies are better with Halloween atmosphere.
Paranormal Activity (2007 - Oren Peli)
ReplyDeleteWWF's In Your House 10: Mind Games
HOST (2020) - A Shudder Original
ReplyDeleteZOOM calls are evil? We knew already.
1408 Directors Cut(2007)
ReplyDeleteHotel offers you penthouse upgrade? Take it
Amazon says this is horror. ok sure.
ReplyDeleteThe Lie(2018)
Predicting Patrick's two word review. "its fine"
SWEENY TODD (2007)
ReplyDeleteMy seven word review is complete again!
manhattan baby 1982:
ReplyDeleteEye see what you did there, Lucio
The Lure 2015:
ReplyDeleteBeats shark Tale, best fish musical ever!
Devil (2010)
ReplyDeleteJust please don't fart in the elevator.
House of 1000 Corpses
ReplyDeleteShouldn't it be "Well of ~100 Corpses"
The Ritual (2017)
ReplyDeleteDownton Abbey guy expands on pissy repertoire
spoiler: he wets himself
Satanic Panic (2019)
ReplyDeleteTasty salad, fun movie. Necessary ingredient? Romijn.
From Beyond
ReplyDeleteChekov’s samurai sword, grabs a kitchen knife
Cherry Falls
ReplyDeleteThe award for worst boyfriend goes to...
PEEPING TOM (1961)
ReplyDeleteMovie is one big Edward Hopper painting.
Vidocq aka Dark Portals: The Chronicles of Vidocq (2001, dir. Pitof)
ReplyDeleteThere are few actors of Depardieu's stature.
The Car (1977)
ReplyDeleteSatanic sedan systematically slaughters sundry sandy civilians.
The Haunting (1999) director Jan de Bont
ReplyDelete"Lili, imagine you're a daft toddler... Action!"
Phantom of the Megaplex (2000) director Blair Treau
ReplyDeleteMegaplex Teens become Cecil B. Demented's crew
OR
Riske-hive rise up, demand 'Under Wraps'!
The Cleansing Hour (2019)
ReplyDeleteBest naked priest, snuff hokey-pokey performance ever.
Christine (1983)
ReplyDeleteHorny teen's obsession kicks into high gear
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
ReplyDeleteWhat's with all the Abe Lincoln photos?
INVASION OF THE VAMPIRES (1963)
ReplyDeleteInvasion of the standing around and talking.
Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire (2000, dir. Steve Boyum)
ReplyDeleteBecause I've a year's subscription to Disney+.
Shaun Of The Dead (2004)
ReplyDeleteEventually, will try counting all the callbacks
Bio Hunter (1995, dir. Yuzo Sato)
ReplyDeleteScience nerds vaccinate demomic boils, rescue goils
Aww man... *Demonic
DeleteHubie Halloween (2020)
ReplyDeleteMy first, and last, Sandler Netflix movie.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
ReplyDeleteProblems with Santa? Judaic conversion viable solution.
LET’S NOT MEET (2018)
ReplyDeleteLet’s not watch this unbelievably boring movie.
Martyrs (2015)
ReplyDeleteShockingly, suicide by slight fall not fatal.
31 (2016)
ReplyDeleteDirty, swearing, covered in blood. Classic Zombie!
Books of Blood (2020)
ReplyDeleteSo vein you think it's aorta you
🤔🤗
DeleteFriday the 13th Part II (1981)
ReplyDeleteThat sweater is so last Summer's Movie.
Late Phases: Night of the Lone Wolf (2014)
ReplyDeleteGated community oddly calm about monthly maulings.
Summer of Fear (1978)
ReplyDeleteNever let Linda Blair around a horse.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
ReplyDeleteGiant evil gods? I won 2020 bingo!
The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)
ReplyDeleteClucking like a chicken would have sufficed.
Videodrome (1983)
ReplyDeleteSomehow less creepy than actual James Woods.
The Wretched (2019)
ReplyDeleteHow would I describe this witch? Spunky
Death Line (1972)
ReplyDeleteJethro Tull finally succumbs to cannibalistic urges.
The Last House On The Left (1972)
ReplyDeleteNow remember kids, always know your dealer.
Horror of Dracula (1958)
ReplyDeleteDirector’s two notes: “Faster” and “More British.”
Curse of the Fly (1965, dir. Don Sharp)
ReplyDeleteKEEP MIKE PENCE AWAY FROM THE TELEPODS.
WICKED LAKE (2008)
ReplyDeleteI spit on four graves this time.
White Noise (2005)
ReplyDeletePolice never suspects white guy finding bodies
Horrors of the Black Museum (1959)
ReplyDeleteMichael Gough nails down some exciting headlines.
They Live Inside Us (2020) Dir. Michael Ballif ("The Witching Season")
ReplyDeleteBallif loves Halloween and it shows, again.
Bad Moon (1996) per Reserved Seating: Werewolf Movies
ReplyDeleteAnd the Oscar goes to...Primo Thor!
Seriously, the dog is awesome. A Michael Jordan 1996 like performance.
DeleteThe Omega Man (1971)
ReplyDeleteThat’s a lot of cold, dead hands
Fade to Black (1980)
ReplyDeleteThomerson just slept with Chris Pine's mom.
The Call - Millennials know how rotary phone works... implausible
ReplyDeleteHubie Halloween - Sandler goes full retard again... no Oscar
ReplyDeleteTHE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011):
ReplyDelete"Alright, who had 'Make America Great Again'?"
Satan's Little Helper (2004)
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to fuck this kid up?
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) Dir. Jack Sholder
ReplyDeleteMagically materializes corporeal body....goes to work.
House of Dracula (1945)
ReplyDeleteFeels like the Nursing Home of Dracula
Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)
ReplyDeleteMy nostalgia blinds me to its faults.
The Manitou (1978)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a hockey team from Manitoba.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
ReplyDeleteDid not expect Alice in Wonderland allusion.
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDelete"I'm shocked it's actually...MOTHER!!" - Danzig, probably
Tell your children to jump outta lakes...
DeleteBooks of Blood (2020)
ReplyDeleteHulu movie plays like a Hulu movie.
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDeleteSteve's shorts look even better in 4K!
The Stuff (Cohen, 1985)
ReplyDeleteBen and Jerry's should get on this
Jason X (2001)
ReplyDeleteJason cranky when awoken from space sleep
Bram Stokers Dracula (1992) director Francis Ford Coppola
ReplyDeleteI've crossed oceans of time... since March
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
ReplyDeleteBlair Witch is not a sound bite
Fright Night Part 2 (1988)
ReplyDeleteTraci Lind should be in every movie.
CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011)
ReplyDeleteEverything builds to, "Tequila is my lady!"
HASTA EL VIENTO TIENE MIEDO/ EVEN THE WIND IS AFRAID (1968) - On Tubi TV
ReplyDeleteThe creepy company of supernatural suicidal schoolgirls
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
ReplyDeleteOh, like a cat and mouse game.
Hubie Halloween (2020)
ReplyDeleteI feel like this movie shouldn’t count.
Class of 1999 (1990, dir. Mark L. Lester)
ReplyDeleteScreenwriter [rips bong]: The teachers... are Terminators...
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth
ReplyDeletePinhead. Real pillar of the Cenobite community.
Beyond The Door (1974)
ReplyDeletePea soup, never leave home without it.
Dr. Black & Mr. Hyde (1976)
ReplyDeleteCasey and climax at Watts Tower: brilliant.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
ReplyDeleteWas a Primus video for a bit.
The Crow (1994)
ReplyDeleteOnions do, in fact, make me fart.
Incident in a Ghostland (2018)
ReplyDeleteThe real horror: that chin on Lovecraft.
LADRONES DE TUMBAS/ GRAVE ROBBERS (1990)
ReplyDeleteLesson in why grave robbing is wrong.
Or
I never knew Mexico had an Inquisition.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
ReplyDeleteDebbie turns into a bug - kinda cool.
Possessor (2020)
ReplyDeleteCronenberg? Wonder if he's... yup definitely related.
The Dead Zone (1983)
ReplyDeleteThat's So Raven ripped this shit off!
Final Destination 2 (’03, Ellis)
ReplyDeleteThe one that inspired all those memes.
"We Hate Movies" had a podcast episode in this last week. Worth the listen!
DeleteVampires (1998 John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteBetter movie: Mark Boone Junior Vampire Hunter
Fright Night (1985 Tom Holland)
ReplyDeleteSarandon is spectacular, Brewster is a buzzkill
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteIt is NOES. Need I say more?