'DARIO ARGENTO'S ITALIAN ROCK'N'ROLL DECADE' QUINTOLOGY!THE ENNIO MORRICONE-SCORED "ANIMAL TRILOGY":THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Blue Underground DVD). Also streaming on TUBI, PLEX, Con TV.Amateur American sleuth hard-pressed to stand up.ORArgento, Hitchcock's biggest whore after DePalma, Truffaut.
Karl Malden in THE CAT O'NINE TAILS (1971, Blue Underground DVD). Also streaming on TUBI, PLEX, VUDU, etc..Detective Mike Stone's waaaay outside his jurisdiction.ORCraptastic finale kills my 4K upgrade boner.
FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET (1971, PLEX).Seriously, WTF is Bud Spencer doing here??!!ORProgressive-for-'71 LGBT representation cancelled by "pussy" cruelty.
DARIO ARGENTO PRESENTS [George A. Romero's] ZOMBIE: DAWN OF THE DEAD, EUROPEAN VERSION (1979, Anchor Bay Ultimate Edition DVD).Rare instance Goblin's score undermines pace, tone.ORSpookiest zombie? NUN of your damn business.
INFERNO (1980, Blue Underground DVD).Who knew Alida Valli's so highly flammable?ORMario Bava's old-school SFX tricks steal show.
Hunter Hunter (2020)A-peeling ending, but you'll need thick skin
The Burbs (1989)Nobody does suburban America like Joe Dante
Drag Me to Hell, dir Sam Raimi, 2009Save the cat, not kill the catOrCreepy nail tapping generate shivers every time
Phantoms, dir Joe Chappelle, 1998The most Dimension movie ever to Dimension
FINAL EXAM (1981)I confess: my heart belongs to Radish.
The Blob Just wanted a reason to say "blub."
Night of the Demon aka Curse of the Demon, dir Jacques Tourneur, 1957Curse or Night, the Demon looks amazing.
Scary Movie (2000, Dir. Keenen Ivory Wayans) Dedicating a month to this is egregious.
The Monster Squad (1987, dir. Fred Dekker)Literacy saves America! Stay in school, kids.
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER (1960) That's one hell of an insurance claim
FUNHOUSE (2019) Wish Tobe would chainsaw all these people.
Possession (1981)What kind of fucking park is this?
Jakob's Wife (2021, dir. Travis Stevens)Looking forward to sequel Jakob's Wife's Bodyguard.
In The Mouth Of Madness (1994)See, this is why I don't read
The Omen 3 : The Final Conflict (1981)Controversial...but not as good as Possession
The House of the Devil (2009)“One Thing Leads to Another”: well put.
Asylum 1972Patrick Macgee is a wheelchair acting savant!
Dave Made a Maze (2017)aMAZEing. High Five! High Five! High Five!
Is this a horror movie? Not trying to be a nit-picking jerk that says this review doesn't count... But it'll bump it up several notches in my watchlist if it's a horror movie
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)Felt like a condensed miniseries. Fun though.
Dolls (1986)After teddy bear scene, I'm all in.
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)In Hobbs End, Sutter Kane waits dreaming.
Office KillerMichael. Freddy. Jason. Leatherface. Chucky. Carol Kane.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)Yet again men befuddled by woman's body.
This made me laugh!
SUPER HOT (2021) So many references. It's Ready Player Pizza.
Scream Blacula Scream (1973)Voodoo priestess Pam Grier gets shit done!
Nightbeast (1982)"Don't call me Bertie!"....Nightbeast, "Yo, Bertie."
House IV: The Repossession (1992, dir. Lewis Abernathy)What an utterly weird franchise this was.
THE ETERNAL (1998) Jared Harris dancing is the true horror.
Werewolves Within (2021) There was a werewolf within.
VENONICA (2017) Séance during eclipse? Just asking for trouble.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)Old man sucks blood from youth... metaphor!
The Dark Half (1993) (A Romero that deserves more love, IMHO)Keep your eye eyeyeeyay on the sparrow.
THE VAMPIRE HAPPENING (1971) Live action Mad Monster Party gets naughty.
The Final (2010, dir. Joey Stewart)Always be nice to the outcasts. Always.
Shocker (1989, dir. Wes Craven)When your metal soundtrack > your movie.
Alligator (1980, dir. Lewis Teague)Max Cherry's male pattern baldness origin story
Impetigore (2019, dir. Joko Anwar)I'm no shrinking violet, but infanticide's verboten
Black Sabbath 1963Italian dub robs us of Karloff's calls
Black Sabbath is a personal favorite. I feel the same way about losing Karloff's voice, but the Italian version is the better version of the two. The order of the sequences (Telephone, The Wurdalak, then The Drop of Water) is more effective. I have both the English and Italian versions for whichever mood I am in.
Xtro 1982The miracle of birth in fast forward!
Bingo Hell (2021, Gigi Saul Guerrero)Would rather play actual Bingo … in Hell. Terrified (2017, Demian Rugna)Kid just wanted his fruit loops back.Don’t Breathe 2 (2021, Rodo Sayagues)Wants us to forget about turkey baster.
Kung Fu From Beyond the Grave (Revenge of Junesploitation Horror Redux, Kung Fu Horror Day inspired all this)For invincibility, you'll need orgasming hearts' blood!Netherworld bribes net you Dracula as bodyguard!For best results, rub incense on chest!As much fun as Kung Fu Zombie!
Don’t Breathe 2 (2021, Rodo Sayagues)Wants us to forget about turkey baster.
Terrified (2017, Demian Rugna)Kid just wanted his fruit loops back.
Bingo Hell (2021, Gigi Saul Guerrero)Would rather play actual Bingo … in Hell.
The Muppets Haunted Mansion(2021)Kermit's and Piggy's costumes steal the show!
V/H/S/84 (2021)All the monsters! Frankenstein! Dracula! Zombies! Raatma!
COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE (1970) Wide lapels. Turtlenecks. Now it’s the ‘70s!
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)Continuing adventures of lovable sex offender Reggie.
PHANTASM (1979, Don Coscarelli)This was life before the internet, kids.OrMuch denim and muscle car to enjoy.
House of Frankenstein (1944)The monsters were created by Big Torch.
House of Dracula (1945)"Assistant Wanted: Must have some hunchback experience."
Cellar Dweller (1988)Monster's doing the art world a favor..
Hush (2016, dir. Mike Flanagan)[sound of being on edge of seat]
PHANTASM II (1988, Don Coscarelli)How does this Tall Man stay anonymous?
Halloween (2018)I guess their podcast is canceled now.
The Retreat (2020), Dir: Bruce WempleWendigo? More like Wendi-no-go, am I right?
Halloween (1978) Dir. John CarpenterWorld's Worst Doctor shoots a mental patient.
Halloween II (1981) Dir. Rick RosenthalWorld's Worst Doctor blows up a hospital.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) Dir. Tommy Lee Wallace World's Best Doctor smells his own fingers.
Feast (2006)Banquet of over-acting with aside of gore
The Ring (2002)Girl in well does not horse around.
The Ring (2002)Creepiest kid in non creepy kid movie.
Vivarium (2019)Ok, just doing the premise this movie?
Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)Mangenie I have to say "I wish"...
Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002)As was foretold. It's the worst Wishmaster.
Sisters (1972, dir. De Palma)Fantastic! But could've been better with Nightbeast?
As Above, So Below (2014)SuperStore seems like a better gig now.
Willard (2003)I'm chasing an Of Unknown Origin dragon
The Faculty (1998)Pretty great faculty despite the obvious issues.
Disturbed 2009Only watched this to complete a dvd set.
The Innkeepers (2011) Dir. Ti WestDo you wish to leave? - The Djinnkeepers
John Carpenter’s The Fog (1980)Tom Atkins gives women that foggy feeling
The Conspiracy (2012)Ninety-nine percent of participants enjoy bull hunting
Demons (1885)That’s not how you drink Coca Cola
The 'Burbs (1989, dir. Joe Dante)Brother Theodore criminally underutilized as monosyllabic Reuben
The Loved Ones (2009)Gives new meaning to “Daddy Daughter Day.”
The Relic (1997)Hyams seeing Gordon Willis: “Hold my beer.”
Lake Placid (1999)Brendan Gleeson must be from Irish Maine
Dracula A.D. 1972At least it's got a '70s score
The Pale DoorMoral of the story: have more sex
Jennifer's BodyThis explains the Machine Gun Kelly thing
FREAKY (2020):Most horrifying bit? PITCH PERFECT 2 poster.
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)This is definitely my favorite Presidential biopic.
Motel Hell (1980)"Preservatives..." instantly raises by two letter grades
Halloween Kills (2021, dir. David Gordon Green)Liked the score and gore the most
They Live (1988)What’s Pipes not out of? Bitchin’ one-liners.
Child’s Play 3 (1991)Best war movie with a spooky carnival.
ARACHNOPHOBIA (1990) Spiders keep interrupting small town doctor drama.
Halloween Kills (2021)Why don't these people just try relocating?
You're Next (2011)A terrific advertisement for Dwight Twilley Band.
In The Earth (2021)Mesmerizing, alienating nonsense. A Ben Weatley picture.
Poltergeist (1982)My family is great. Prefer this one.
A Quiet Place 2 (2020)Great! Djimon Hounsou!What part?The chauffeur!
The Birds (1963)Murder of crows suspected of fowl play
The Howling (1981)Movie that lives up to the poster.
Halloween III: Nelkin road trip? I'll bring the six-pack!
Z (Brandon Christensen, 2019)Creepy kid's imaginary friend becomes homewrecking monster
Maniac (2012)Anne noggin skinned; man again makes mannequin
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994) Dir. Don Coscarelli I love how endlessly horny Reggie is.
Cannibal! The Musical (1993)Film as good as a baked potaytah
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)Someone stop letting Dan O'Herlihy run things
Kingdom of the Vampire (1991)Establishing shot of a convenience store
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Hardest thing for Thom? Telling Mr. Kotter.
Candyman (1992) dir. Bernard RoseHelen. Helen. Helen. Helen. wait… Ted Rami?
Halloween Kills (2021)The Mortal Kombat 2021 of horror movies
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (2004) Phantom's not bad looking under the mask.
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