Is this a horror movie? Not trying to be a nit-picking jerk that says this review doesn't count... But it'll bump it up several notches in my watchlist if it's a horror movie
Black Sabbath is a personal favorite. I feel the same way about losing Karloff's voice, but the Italian version is the better version of the two. The order of the sequences (Telephone, The Wurdalak, then The Drop of Water) is more effective. I have both the English and Italian versions for whichever mood I am in.
'DARIO ARGENTO'S ITALIAN ROCK'N'ROLL DECADE' QUINTOLOGY!
ReplyDeleteTHE ENNIO MORRICONE-SCORED "ANIMAL TRILOGY":
THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Blue Underground DVD). Also streaming on TUBI, PLEX, Con TV.
Amateur American sleuth hard-pressed to stand up.
OR
Argento, Hitchcock's biggest whore after DePalma, Truffaut.
Karl Malden in THE CAT O'NINE TAILS (1971, Blue Underground DVD). Also streaming on TUBI, PLEX, VUDU, etc..
ReplyDeleteDetective Mike Stone's waaaay outside his jurisdiction.
OR
Craptastic finale kills my 4K upgrade boner.
FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET (1971, PLEX).
ReplyDeleteSeriously, WTF is Bud Spencer doing here??!!
OR
Progressive-for-'71 LGBT representation cancelled by "pussy" cruelty.
DARIO ARGENTO PRESENTS [George A. Romero's] ZOMBIE: DAWN OF THE DEAD, EUROPEAN VERSION (1979, Anchor Bay Ultimate Edition DVD).
ReplyDeleteRare instance Goblin's score undermines pace, tone.
OR
Spookiest zombie? NUN of your damn business.
INFERNO (1980, Blue Underground DVD).
ReplyDeleteWho knew Alida Valli's so highly flammable?
OR
Mario Bava's old-school SFX tricks steal show.
Hunter Hunter (2020)
ReplyDeleteA-peeling ending, but you'll need thick skin
The Burbs (1989)
ReplyDeleteNobody does suburban America like Joe Dante
Drag Me to Hell, dir Sam Raimi, 2009
ReplyDeleteSave the cat, not kill the cat
Or
Creepy nail tapping generate shivers every time
Phantoms, dir Joe Chappelle, 1998
ReplyDeleteThe most Dimension movie ever to Dimension
FINAL EXAM (1981)
ReplyDeleteI confess: my heart belongs to Radish.
The Blob [1988]
ReplyDeleteJust wanted a reason to say "blub."
Night of the Demon aka Curse of the Demon, dir Jacques Tourneur, 1957
ReplyDeleteCurse or Night, the Demon looks amazing.
Scary Movie (2000, Dir. Keenen Ivory Wayans)
ReplyDeleteDedicating a month to this is egregious.
The Monster Squad (1987, dir. Fred Dekker)
ReplyDeleteLiteracy saves America! Stay in school, kids.
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER (1960)
ReplyDeleteThat's one hell of an insurance claim
FUNHOUSE (2019)
ReplyDeleteWish Tobe would chainsaw all these people.
Possession (1981)
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of fucking park is this?
Jakob's Wife (2021, dir. Travis Stevens)
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to sequel Jakob's Wife's Bodyguard.
In The Mouth Of Madness (1994)
ReplyDeleteSee, this is why I don't read
The Omen 3 : The Final Conflict (1981)
ReplyDeleteControversial...but not as good as Possession
The House of the Devil (2009)
ReplyDelete“One Thing Leads to Another”: well put.
Asylum 1972
ReplyDeletePatrick Macgee is a wheelchair acting savant!
Magee*
DeleteDave Made a Maze (2017)
ReplyDeleteaMAZEing. High Five! High Five! High Five!
Is this a horror movie? Not trying to be a nit-picking jerk that says this review doesn't count... But it'll bump it up several notches in my watchlist if it's a horror movie
DeleteThe Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
ReplyDeleteFelt like a condensed miniseries. Fun though.
Dolls (1986)
ReplyDeleteAfter teddy bear scene, I'm all in.
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
ReplyDeleteIn Hobbs End, Sutter Kane waits dreaming.
Office Killer
ReplyDeleteMichael. Freddy. Jason. Leatherface. Chucky. Carol Kane.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
ReplyDeleteYet again men befuddled by woman's body.
This made me laugh!
DeleteSUPER HOT (2021)
ReplyDeleteSo many references. It's Ready Player Pizza.
Scream Blacula Scream (1973)
ReplyDeleteVoodoo priestess Pam Grier gets shit done!
Nightbeast (1982)
ReplyDelete"Don't call me Bertie!"....Nightbeast, "Yo, Bertie."
House IV: The Repossession (1992, dir. Lewis Abernathy)
ReplyDeleteWhat an utterly weird franchise this was.
THE ETERNAL (1998)
ReplyDeleteJared Harris dancing is the true horror.
Werewolves Within (2021)
ReplyDeleteThere was a werewolf within.
VENONICA (2017)
ReplyDeleteSéance during eclipse? Just asking for trouble.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
ReplyDeleteOld man sucks blood from youth... metaphor!
The Dark Half (1993) (A Romero that deserves more love, IMHO)
ReplyDeleteKeep your eye eyeyeeyay on the sparrow.
THE VAMPIRE HAPPENING (1971)
ReplyDeleteLive action Mad Monster Party gets naughty.
The Final (2010, dir. Joey Stewart)
ReplyDeleteAlways be nice to the outcasts. Always.
Shocker (1989, dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteWhen your metal soundtrack > your movie.
Alligator (1980, dir. Lewis Teague)
ReplyDeleteMax Cherry's male pattern baldness origin story
Impetigore (2019, dir. Joko Anwar)
ReplyDeleteI'm no shrinking violet, but infanticide's verboten
Black Sabbath 1963
ReplyDeleteItalian dub robs us of Karloff's calls
Black Sabbath is a personal favorite. I feel the same way about losing Karloff's voice, but the Italian version is the better version of the two. The order of the sequences (Telephone, The Wurdalak, then The Drop of Water) is more effective. I have both the English and Italian versions for whichever mood I am in.
DeleteXtro 1982
ReplyDeleteThe miracle of birth in fast forward!
Bingo Hell (2021, Gigi Saul Guerrero)
ReplyDeleteWould rather play actual Bingo … in Hell.
Terrified (2017, Demian Rugna)
Kid just wanted his fruit loops back.
Don’t Breathe 2 (2021, Rodo Sayagues)
Wants us to forget about turkey baster.
Kung Fu From Beyond the Grave (Revenge of Junesploitation Horror Redux, Kung Fu Horror Day inspired all this)
ReplyDeleteFor invincibility, you'll need orgasming hearts' blood!
Netherworld bribes net you Dracula as bodyguard!
For best results, rub incense on chest!
As much fun as Kung Fu Zombie!
Don’t Breathe 2 (2021, Rodo Sayagues)
ReplyDeleteWants us to forget about turkey baster.
Terrified (2017, Demian Rugna)
ReplyDeleteKid just wanted his fruit loops back.
Bingo Hell (2021, Gigi Saul Guerrero)
ReplyDeleteWould rather play actual Bingo … in Hell.
The Muppets Haunted Mansion(2021)
ReplyDeleteKermit's and Piggy's costumes steal the show!
V/H/S/84 (2021)
ReplyDeleteAll the monsters! Frankenstein! Dracula! Zombies! Raatma!
COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE (1970)
ReplyDeleteWide lapels. Turtlenecks. Now it’s the ‘70s!
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)
ReplyDeleteContinuing adventures of lovable sex offender Reggie.
PHANTASM (1979, Don Coscarelli)
ReplyDeleteThis was life before the internet, kids.
Or
Much denim and muscle car to enjoy.
House of Frankenstein (1944)
ReplyDeleteThe monsters were created by Big Torch.
House of Dracula (1945)
ReplyDelete"Assistant Wanted: Must have some hunchback experience."
Cellar Dweller (1988)
ReplyDeleteMonster's doing the art world a favor..
Hush (2016, dir. Mike Flanagan)
ReplyDelete[sound of being on edge of seat]
PHANTASM II (1988, Don Coscarelli)
ReplyDeleteHow does this Tall Man stay anonymous?
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteI guess their podcast is canceled now.
The Retreat (2020), Dir: Bruce Wemple
ReplyDeleteWendigo? More like Wendi-no-go, am I right?
Halloween (1978) Dir. John Carpenter
ReplyDeleteWorld's Worst Doctor shoots a mental patient.
Halloween II (1981) Dir. Rick Rosenthal
ReplyDeleteWorld's Worst Doctor blows up a hospital.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) Dir. Tommy Lee Wallace
ReplyDeleteWorld's Best Doctor smells his own fingers.
Feast (2006)
ReplyDeleteBanquet of over-acting with aside of gore
The Ring (2002)
ReplyDeleteGirl in well does not horse around.
The Ring (2002)
ReplyDeleteCreepiest kid in non creepy kid movie.
Vivarium (2019)
ReplyDeleteOk, just doing the premise this movie?
Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001)
ReplyDeleteMangenie I have to say "I wish"...
Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002)
ReplyDeleteAs was foretold. It's the worst Wishmaster.
Sisters (1972, dir. De Palma)
ReplyDeleteFantastic! But could've been better with Nightbeast?
As Above, So Below (2014)
ReplyDeleteSuperStore seems like a better gig now.
Willard (2003)
ReplyDeleteI'm chasing an Of Unknown Origin dragon
The Faculty (1998)
ReplyDeletePretty great faculty despite the obvious issues.
Disturbed 2009
ReplyDeleteOnly watched this to complete a dvd set.
The Innkeepers (2011) Dir. Ti West
ReplyDeleteDo you wish to leave? - The Djinnkeepers
John Carpenter’s The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteTom Atkins gives women that foggy feeling
The Conspiracy (2012)
ReplyDeleteNinety-nine percent of participants enjoy bull hunting
Demons (1885)
ReplyDeleteThat’s not how you drink Coca Cola
The 'Burbs (1989, dir. Joe Dante)
ReplyDeleteBrother Theodore criminally underutilized as monosyllabic Reuben
The Loved Ones (2009)
ReplyDeleteGives new meaning to “Daddy Daughter Day.”
The Relic (1997)
ReplyDeleteHyams seeing Gordon Willis: “Hold my beer.”
Lake Placid (1999)
ReplyDeleteBrendan Gleeson must be from Irish Maine
Dracula A.D. 1972
ReplyDeleteAt least it's got a '70s score
The Pale Door
ReplyDeleteMoral of the story: have more sex
Jennifer's Body
ReplyDeleteThis explains the Machine Gun Kelly thing
FREAKY (2020):
ReplyDeleteMost horrifying bit? PITCH PERFECT 2 poster.
Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely my favorite Presidential biopic.
Motel Hell (1980)
ReplyDelete"Preservatives..." instantly raises by two letter grades
Halloween Kills (2021, dir. David Gordon Green)
ReplyDeleteLiked the score and gore the most
They Live (1988)
ReplyDeleteWhat’s Pipes not out of? Bitchin’ one-liners.
Child’s Play 3 (1991)
ReplyDeleteBest war movie with a spooky carnival.
ARACHNOPHOBIA (1990)
ReplyDeleteSpiders keep interrupting small town doctor drama.
Halloween Kills (2021)
ReplyDeleteWhy don't these people just try relocating?
You're Next (2011)
ReplyDeleteA terrific advertisement for Dwight Twilley Band.
In The Earth (2021)
ReplyDeleteMesmerizing, alienating nonsense. A Ben Weatley picture.
Poltergeist (1982)
ReplyDeleteMy family is great. Prefer this one.
A Quiet Place 2 (2020)
ReplyDeleteGreat! Djimon Hounsou!
What part?
The chauffeur!
The Birds (1963)
ReplyDeleteMurder of crows suspected of fowl play
The Howling (1981)
ReplyDeleteMovie that lives up to the poster.
Halloween III: Nelkin road trip? I'll bring the six-pack!
ReplyDeleteZ (Brandon Christensen, 2019)
ReplyDeleteCreepy kid's imaginary friend becomes homewrecking monster
Maniac (2012)
ReplyDeleteAnne noggin skinned; man again makes mannequin
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994) Dir. Don Coscarelli
ReplyDeleteI love how endlessly horny Reggie is.
Cannibal! The Musical (1993)
ReplyDeleteFilm as good as a baked potaytah
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
ReplyDeleteSomeone stop letting Dan O'Herlihy run things
Kingdom of the Vampire (1991)
ReplyDeleteEstablishing shot of a convenience store
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHardest thing for Thom? Telling Mr. Kotter.
DeleteCandyman (1992) dir. Bernard Rose
ReplyDeleteHelen. Helen. Helen. Helen. wait… Ted Rami?
Halloween Kills (2021)
ReplyDeleteThe Mortal Kombat 2021 of horror movies
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (2004)
ReplyDeletePhantom's not bad looking under the mask.
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ReplyDelete