I can't wait to see this. The trailer was fantastic and I HATE watching trailers. The one I saw had zero dialog and was just images. Told me nothing. Full disclosure I didn't read your seven word review because I literally don't want to know anything.
Julia Ducournau's TITANE (2021, theater) [AMC has labeled "Titane" as 'Horror' in its website/app. Go figure!]
ReplyDelete"Raw" director tops herself. French firefighter rave!
OR
Worth seeing for 'Macarena' CPR scene alone.
I can't wait to see this. The trailer was fantastic and I HATE watching trailers. The one I saw had zero dialog and was just images. Told me nothing. Full disclosure I didn't read your seven word review because I literally don't want to know anything.
DeleteJames Wan's MALIGNANT (2021, HBO Max). Third viewing.
ReplyDeleteDetectives Jimmy Fallon, Wanda Sykes strike out.
I think this is my favorite film of the year so far. Need a 3rd revisit
DeleteOkay now I really need to see Malignant
DeleteHoward R. Cohen's SATURDAY THE 14TH (1981, YouTube's Free-With-Ads HD version) for the first time.
ReplyDelete"Twilight Zone" channel decades before Pluto TV.
OR
Charming practical SFX, but underage nudity? Barf!
Howard R. Cohen's SATURDAY THE 14TH STRIKES BACK (1988, regular YouTube) for the first time.
ReplyDelete15 minutes in, not-so-sexy vampires start singing.
OR
Cinematic equivalent of 78 minute flatline. A-fucking-void!
Malignant (2021)
ReplyDeleteSister's parking was the most suspenseful part.
Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1972)
ReplyDeleteMovie interrupted by Colic: The Night Whinger
Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers (1988, Dir. Dwight H. Little)
ReplyDeleteEveryone has that one crazy uncle, kid.
Torture Garden (1967, dir. Freddie Francis)
ReplyDeleteNever trust Hollywood producers, cats, or pianos.
Hard to Die (1990)
ReplyDeleteFeels like I'm wearing nothing at all.
Shadow in the Cloud (2020 - Roseanne Liang)
ReplyDeleteBetter with more practical effects. Moretz rocks!
Midsommar (2019 - Ari Aster)
ReplyDeleteBright, colorful, awesome cinematography. Still controversial. Great!
New York Ripper (1982 Dir. Lucio Fulci)
ReplyDeleteHe has magical toes. Quack quack quack.
Suspiria (2018)
ReplyDeleteThat's not supposed to bend that way.
Hell Fest (2018)
ReplyDeleteI'd be uncomfortable even without the killer.
Nightbooks (2021)
ReplyDeleteDon’t trust the Witch in apartment 43
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, Tommy Lee Wallace, 1982
ReplyDeleteChallis absolutely had sex with the Robots
Or
DeleteDrunk Dad buys masks at liquor store.
Old (2021)
ReplyDeleteSo, what are your names and occupations?
The Happening
ReplyDeleteGrade 8 science not required for teaching
BLACK ROSES (1988)
ReplyDeleteThe eternal conflict: Rock music versus moustache.
Scream 3, dir Wes Craven, 2000
ReplyDeleteHollywood is one big meta Doppelgänger's Doppelgänger
3 From Hell (2019, dir. Rob Zombie)
ReplyDeleteSlowly warming to this completely unnecessary sequel.
Black Sunday (1960)
ReplyDeleteBurn the witch! it's raining, never mind.
What We Do In The Shadows (2014)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't trade chips for immortality either.
Escape Room (2019)
ReplyDeleteWant trauma on top of your trauma?
Hell Fest (2018)
ReplyDeleteHell Fest looks like a fun place.
Pet Sematary dir. Mary Lambert 1989.
ReplyDeleteFinally someone agrees with me, kites suck.
Thirteen Ghosts (1960, dir. William Castle)
ReplyDeleteWilliam Castle, you idiot, it's spelled "thir13en"!
🤣😁👍
DeleteSCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK (2019)
ReplyDeleteThe world’s worst (or best?) Clearasil commercial.
The Thing (blu)
ReplyDeleteTheranos, here's your one drop blood test.
Under Wraps (2021)
ReplyDeleteDisney Kids have a specific acting style
Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
ReplyDeleteSleazy tale of 19th century remix culture
Willy’s Wonderland (2021)
ReplyDeleteCage enjoys pinball and smashin’ robot skulls
The Amusement Park (1975)
ReplyDeleteThis where you go after Old beach?
Quatermass 2 (1957 - Val Guest)
ReplyDeletePlot like a foil hat fever dream.
The Happening (2008) dir. M. Night Shyamalan
ReplyDeleteToxins cause suicide... or bad face acting
Event Horizon (1997)
ReplyDeleteFirst spaceship designed exclusively by Bond villains.
DRACULA UNTOLD (2014)
ReplyDeleteVlad is scary as a Vlassic Pickle!
Horror Express (1972)
ReplyDeleteDid I miss the Justin Long cameo?
Final Destination (2000)
ReplyDeleteDeath's favorite nugget sauce: sweet & Sawa
Among friends 2013
ReplyDeleteHe wasn't upset until he got caught
BLOOD NASTY (1989)
ReplyDeleteThat’s just daily life in the suburbs.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
ReplyDeleteVeronica Cartwright and aliens just don’t mix
Doctor X (1932)
ReplyDeleteMy Halloween costume really needs synthetic flesh.
Infected(2021 Dir. Dan Rickard)
ReplyDeleteWe have 28 days later at home
Dracula Has Risen From The Grave (1968)
ReplyDeleteChristopher Sex-On-A-Stake Lee
Dead Night (2017) (rewatch)
ReplyDeleteGreat cast. setup is legit. Uneven throughout.
Man’s Best Friend
ReplyDeleteI smell a sequel. No? Alright then.
Werewolves Within (2021)
ReplyDeleteFun, Clue with werewolves, minus Tim Curry
The Bird with the Crystal Plumage:
ReplyDeleteAlso: The guy with the obsessive personality
Freddy’s Dead The Final Nightmare:
ReplyDeleteI’ll defend it until I die BITCH!
The Flesh and the Fiends (1960)
ReplyDeleteWhat a waste of Cushing and Pleasence.
The Possessed (1975)
ReplyDeleteExorcist copy with old lady witch devil.
Triangle (2009, dir. Christopher Smith)
ReplyDeleteI don't remember this from geometry class.
THE GREEN KNIGHT
ReplyDeleteHe’s really more of a teal knight
House of the Witch (2017)
ReplyDeleteGrim and gory, why don't I care?
Friday the 13th Part IV (1984)
ReplyDeleteGordon, you jumping out the window Gordon?
NOBODY SLEEPS IN THE WOODS TONIGHT (2020)
ReplyDeleteVictor Crowley, Baron Harkonnen had a baby.
Scaners (1981)
ReplyDeleteNext year's psychic meeting probably over Zoom
The Hunger (1983)
ReplyDeleteDir: Tony Scott
Sexiest Sex Scene Since Sex Scenes Started
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
ReplyDeleteDir: Renny Harlin
John Carl Buechler, Screaming-Mad George, Steve Johnson
(Screaming-Mad is one word because I SAID SO!)
You rebel! 😄😉
DeleteIt had to be done!
DeleteMidnight Mass (2021)
ReplyDeleteOld man tragically misreads a vampire situation.
Dracula A.D. 1972
ReplyDeleteDracula (and pork-chop sideburns) have risen again!
Madman (Joe Giannone, 1981)
ReplyDeleteMadman Marz meanly murders many misbehaving minors
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteAs impotent as a Universal Horror burgomaster…
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteThe ASMR Universal Monsters movie. So soothing!
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDelete"Well actually Frankenstein is the doctor's name"
The Shinning (1980)
ReplyDeleteFirst on screen appearance of Furry porn?
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteMaybe try not calling the loonies “loonies”?
The Wax Mask (1997)
ReplyDeleteCyberdyne Systems Model 100 ha detto "tornerò"
It (2017) dir. Andy Muschietti
ReplyDeleteDerry adults: hostile to kids 27-yearly? ...Always??
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
ReplyDeleteFucking theme song! Get outta my head!
Possessor (2020)
ReplyDeleteWay too much trouble to kill someone.
BLOOD THEATER (1984)
ReplyDeletePopcorn fight! Popcorn fight! Everybody popcorn fight!
Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)
ReplyDeleteWould've thought prison was scarier than trolls
Seance (2021)
ReplyDeleteThis kind of school seems very dangerous.
Parents (1989)
ReplyDeleteSuper accurate preview of Randy Quaid's future.
Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)
ReplyDeleteFinally Dracula actually counts in a movie.
Scars of Dracula (1970)
ReplyDeleteFound the final reveal to be aPualling.
Dracula A.D. 1972 (Yups 1972)
ReplyDeleteAlucard spelled out backwards is actually Groovy.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteChildren of the night… asleep in theater.
IT Chapters 1 & 2 (2017|2019)
ReplyDeleteCurry spittle so Fassbender could drool.
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteMonster needs safe space, no torches/lakes.
TAKE TWO! 😂
ReplyDeleteIT Chapters 1 & 2 (2017|2019)
Curry spittle so Skarsgård could drool.
Dracula (1931, dir. Tod Browning)
ReplyDeleteThat background hiss always makes me sleepy.
Frankenstein (1931, dir. James Whale)
ReplyDeletePennywise was wrong. We don't ALL float.
HA!
DeleteFrankenstein (James Whale, 1931)
ReplyDeleteThink close friends called him Hank Frank?
THE THING (1982):
ReplyDeleteI wonder how that dog got infected.
V/H/S/2 (2013)
ReplyDeleteV/H/S Bummer would've been a better title
Halloween II (1981)
ReplyDeletePleasance is both a legend and underrated
MESSIAH OF EVIL (1973)
ReplyDeleteI wish wtf counted as seven words.
Society(1989). See! The One Percent DO stick together
ReplyDeleteGross! 🤢🤮
DeleteHalloween 2 (1981)
ReplyDeleteThe one where Micheal's in a hospital.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) dir. Chuck Russell
ReplyDeleteAnnual dosage of Wasson achieved! Very unnerving...
The Forever Purge (2021)
ReplyDeleteDares asking what if murder was illegal?
I Drink Your Blood (1970), Dir: David E. Durston
ReplyDeleteNever let rabid hippies pick the refreshments.
THE PERFECTION (2018)
ReplyDeleteWant dessert? There’s always room for cello.
House of Usher (1960)
ReplyDeletePrice, Corman and Poe equals comfort movie.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteNot perfect, but the highs are HIGH.
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteRealized I'm the Fritz of my friends.
Freaky (2020) - Vince Vaughn learns having balls isn't money.
ReplyDeleteTrick (2019)(Junesploitation horror redux)
ReplyDeleteGood kills, decent cast, felt too long.
(Day 2 was Slashers)
DeleteMausoleum 1983
ReplyDeleteDemon tiddies and facial aerobics from Bobbie
Carrie 1976
ReplyDeleteThey're all going to laugh at you!
Misery (1990)
ReplyDeletePlease don't be this type of fan.
Phantasm II (1988) Dir. Don Coscarelli
ReplyDeleteIt's wild and I'm here for it.
Creepshow 2 (1987)
ReplyDeleteBest cure for shotgun blast? Jazz hands!
Planet Terror (2007)
ReplyDeleteThat zombie tongue legit made me queasy.
Cat People (1982)
ReplyDelete"You're horny! This whole trial is horny!"
Beyond The Door III (1989)
ReplyDeleteLike Runaway Train, but with more gore.
Alone in the Dark (1982)
ReplyDeleteFirst time watch, but still so comfortable.
SOCIETY (1989):
ReplyDeleteEveryone just vibing. No phones in sight.
Lights Out(2016) Watched this from inside a tanning bed
ReplyDeleteHalloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteLoomis isn't not a very sinister doctor.
Mark of the Vampire (1935, dir. Tod Browning)
ReplyDeleteDracula has a hot sister, isn't Dracula.
Wild Beasts (1984, dir. Franco Prosperi)
ReplyDeleteAnimals on PCP act like real dicks.
Halloween II (1981)
ReplyDeleteSet hospital therapy hot tub to KILL!
Malignant (2021)
ReplyDeleteShe's always backing out of having plans.
Wolf Creek 2(2013 Dir Greg Mclean)
ReplyDeleteAustralia doesn't need help killing tourist, Mick.
DIANA: THE MUSICAL (2021)
ReplyDeleteNon-horror you say? No, this was TERRIFYING.
Fear Street 1666
ReplyDeleteWho’s down for some Sbarro? I’m buying.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
ReplyDeletePerfect casting Zoey Deutch as valley girl
The Ruins (2008)
ReplyDeleteAsking about my Vine Flu violates HIPAA.
Nightmare on Elm Street II: Freddy's Revenge
ReplyDeletePretty sure Malignant was a low-key remake.
Hellboy (2004)
ReplyDeleteNo jokes. I absolutely adore this movie.
Prom Night (1980)
ReplyDeleteKiller stashes body in most fortuitous closet.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Hills Have Eyes (1977)
ReplyDeleteWhy dad should never pick the vacation
Triangle (2009)
ReplyDeleteLet's do the time warp again. Let's...
Alligator (1980)
ReplyDeleteRamón after getting flushed: "see you later"
Final Destination (2000)
ReplyDeleteDeath sure do be convoluted as fuck
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)
ReplyDeleteLeslie cuts rugs while Peter eats bugs
Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteWorst pillow talk: " jungle man fix Jane"
Dolls (1987)
ReplyDeleteThese toys only like girls and boys
Halloween (1978, dir. John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteI love when Loomis scares the children
Scream (1996, dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteBilly Loomis, future father of Jughead Jones
May the Devil Take You (2018)
ReplyDeleteTimo and Chelsea just don't ever miss
House (1977)
ReplyDeleteSpinster and cat ghosts play with food.
FREAKSHOW (1989)
ReplyDeleteNice of them to cast Elvira’s poodle.
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981)
ReplyDeleteBigoted cop is most realistic/horrifying part
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale, 1935)
ReplyDeleteBest screen time to icon ratio ever?
Dead Hooker in a Trunk (Soska Sisters 2009)
ReplyDeleteDead hooker in a trunk, been there.
Deep Red (1975) dir. Dario Argento
ReplyDeleteIf it weren’t for that meddling musician…
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
ReplyDeleteAt least the dog and kittens survive.
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000) Michael Cooney
ReplyDeleteTitle already exceeds seven word review limit.
The Mortuary Collection (2019)
ReplyDeleteMore like the Bore-tuary Collection. Eh? Eh?
The Thing(1982 Dir. John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteCarpenter, Bottin, Cast and Crew present perfection
or
Wow it does look amazing. Thanks Chaybee!
The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It
ReplyDelete2021, Dir. Michael Chaves
DID the devil make him do it?
Jaws: The Revenge
ReplyDelete1987, Dir. Joseph Sargent
Ellen Brody's shoulder pads had shoulder pads
Killer's Delight aka The Sport Killer (Jeremy Hoenack, 1978)
ReplyDeleteOne of killer's delights? Wearing fake mustache!
The Devil's Advocate (1997)
ReplyDeleteTrump references have aged pretty well surprisingly
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread.
ReplyDeletePoltergeist (1982)
ReplyDeleteScreened for my kids. Clown still works
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSeytan (1974)
ReplyDeleteSure fire way to get Oldfield’s attention.