by Patrick Bromley
With the passing of Sally Kellerman a few months ago, it seemed like the right time to take a Need for Tweed look at Meatballs III (aka Meatballs III: Summer Job), in which Shannon Tweed has a small supporting role as a character called The Love Goddess.
Meatballs III: Summer Job (1986, dir. George Mendeluk)
Patrick Dempsey (in his first role, hence his "introducing" credit) plays nerdy Rudy Gerner -- for those of you paying attention, that's the same name as the Chris Makepeace character in the original Meatballs, but the connections start and stop there -- hired for a summer job at Mean Gene's Bar and Grill at a river resort. All Rudy can think about is sex, so it's a good thing he's visited by the ghost of recently deceased porn star Roxy Dujour (Kellerman, playing a contemporary adult film actor like a fast-talking, glamorous starlet of the 1930s), who takes it upon herself to help him lose his virginity so she can be admitted to heaven. This is the plot of a movie.
Tweed's character is alluded to throughout the movie as the mysterious wife of Mean Gene, holed up in her second story bedroom like a princess in need of rescuing from her tower. She only appears in the last 10 minutes when some guests of the resort make a bet about who can have sex with her. Somehow Rudy ends up in her bedroom at the same time and wins her over by not trying to fuck her, instead learning that she's studying for her PhD and that her husband is away teaching summer school (Mean Gene is actually her brother). So moved is the Love Goddess by Rudy's chivalry that she helps him simulate noisy sex so everyone at the resort thinks he finally got lucky. His reputation restored after a summer's worth of embarrassment, Rudy leaves his summer job a full-blown stud and finally winds up with the only girl who has liked him all along.
Scandalous Behavior (1999, dir. James Hong)
Essentially a goofy episode of the '80s drama Dallas with some softcore sex scenes sprinkled in, Scandalous Behavior centers Michelle (Rena Riffel of Showgirls fame), a young woman who escapes a prison sentence in Singapore by marrying a wealthy businessman (Hong). She runs out on him and flees the country to Dallas, where she reunites with her ex, an oil tycoon and one half of the Tanner brothers who is now dating Shannon Tweed. James Hong follows her to Dallas and gets into business with the brothers. There is some sex and some double crossing and then the credits roll.
The Ranking So Far
1. Electra (1999)
2. Meatballs 3 (1986)
3. Stormy Nights (1999)
4. Scandalous Behavior (1999)