Jamie Blanks' URBAN LEGEND (1998, PLUTO).Pembleton University's Bechdel Test failure rate: 100%.OR"Let's Scare Alicia Witt to Death... AGAIN!"
Rob Reiner's MISERY (1990, Kino Lorber 4K UHD), First time seeing the movie in 4K. Also streaming on HBO Max.Reiner. King. Goldman. Sonnenfeld. Kurtzman. Nicotero. SOLD!ORCaan. Bates. Farnsworth. Sternhagen. Bacall. Mic drop.
Zach Cregger's BARBARIAN (2022, theater) for the first time.Decades-old VHS didn't fade/snap? Yeah right!ORIf only Mac guy got PC sooner.
Survival of the Dead (2009)Romero's final thesis: Irish worse than Zombies.
ORPHAN: FIRST KILL (2022, Dir. William Brent Bell)Good twists require a bit of Stiles.
Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)Pro: No pedophile director.Con: Everything else.
THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY'S TOMB (1964)Those British actors are not convincing ArabsorCrass Americans should not fund Egyptian excavations
Hellraiser: Deader (2005)This is certainly the seventh Hellraiser movie.
Halloween H20, dir Steve Minor, 1998The Night Will meet the real LaurieImproper use of dumbwaiter leads to accidents
Terrifier (2016)Officially joined PB’s “Reluctant Terrifier Fan Club”
Frankenstein Created Woman (1967, dir. Terence Fisher)Frankenstein fashions fantastical fiend, facilitates freaky Friday.
CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011)Question: Why isn't Kristen Connolly more famous???
Jeepers Creepers (2001, Dir. Victor Salva)I guess if Myers learned to drive...
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)"Sandersons are glad Mary picked the roombas."
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)Morgue Party! People dyin to get in!
DEMONOID (1981) Does EVERY mummified hand have a curse?
Frankenstein 1970 (1958)Whatever the production, Karloff gives his all.
Vampire (1979, dir. E.W. Swackhamer)Egbert Warnderink Swackhamer, best name in Hollywood.
Rumpelstiltskin (1995)Rump has a complicated understanding of adoption.
Dream Demon (1988) Timothy Spall eating grossly: a cinematic terror.
THE VIDEO DEAD (1987) TV really will rot your brains, kids.
Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002, dir. Rick Bota)Dean gets taste of his own Mayhem™
This comment has been removed by the author.
Apaches (1977) dir. John MackenzieI wanna drive tractors even more now.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers (1988) Jamie’s classmates kinda deserve to meet Michael.
HOLLYWOOD MEAT CLEAVER MASSACRE (1977) Not one meat cleaver to be found.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)"Winds, winds, winds, winds, winds, WINDS...winds?"
The Mummy (1959)Al Jolson unavailable to play an Egyptian.
Zombie (1979)Please eat the voodoo drum circle already
The Howling (1981)[crooning] Werewolves boning by an open fire...
brilliant
Barbarian (2022)Honestly have been in worse roommate situations,
COMMUNION (1989) Obligatory "But Walken's already an alien" joke.
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (Theatrical Cut) 4KThis movie should not look this good.
Bordello of BloodI do a terrible Dennis Miller impression.
Hellraiser: BloodlineAlan Smithee is such an underrated director.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)Who hunts slugs with a meat cleaver?
THE BLOB (1958):What’s with the Dollar Tree Gregory Peck?
The Munsters (2022)I didnt shut if off..A win?
Comedy of Terrors (1963)"Jiggery Pokery" needs to make a comeback
Night Of The Living Dead (1968)Crusty old white dudes predictably ruining everything
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)It appears there's one in every family.
Halloween Resurrection (2002)I don’t know why I watch this.
THE 4D MAN (1959) No actual 4D-ing until 50 minutes in.
Men (2022)Creepfest that puts the "tree" in "patriarchy."
The Munsters (2022)The grooviest ghoulies: still silly and sweet.
Ring (1998) Casual psychics in movies are my favourite!
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)Depp has the worst luck with beds.
LIFEFORCE (1985)Hooper: "What if Van Helsing fucked Dracula?"
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's RevengeFreddy "comes out" of the dream world
The Funhouse (1981) - First-time watchUm not much fun in that house
Shutter Island (2010) Dir. Martin ScorseseThe worst doctors this side of Haddonfield.
The Blob (1988)As Marvin Shwarz says, what a picture.
Mystery Of The Wax Museum (1933) dir. Michael CurtizSaid "junky" so much...Hayes Code invented.
Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)Home Aloned the shit outta that beast!
The Horror of Dracula (1958)Expected more Christopher Lee, but hey! Alfred!
JACK THE RIPPER (1976)Like Hammer, but with graphic boob severing.
MY BEST FRIEND'S EXORCISM (2022) No Phil Collins on the soundtrack? Blasphemy!
Smile (2022)If It Follows left blue balls; frown
Candyman (2021, dir. Nia DaCosta)Use "Knockin' Boots" in these movies, cowards!
The Gore Gore Girls (1972)Pound that ass, no not like that
BLACK SUNDAY (1960)In this one, Barbara's coming for them!
Smile (2022)Be a comedy and maybe I will.
Halloween Kills (2021)Evil is not even mildly inconvenienced tonight.orUnnecessary sequel to the unnecessary sequel? Unnecessary.
Abbott and Castello meet Frankenstein (1948)Chick got no chick, Wilbur be thicc
Under Wraps 2 (2022)Better than Everything Everywhere All At Once
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood(1996 Dir Gilbert Adler)Only slightly easier to watch than film
Mary Reilly (1996)Did John Malkovich turn into Tommy Wiseau?
Men (2022)Intensely, disturbingly scary— this one GOES THERE!
Time Walker AKA Being From Another Planet (Dir. Tom Kennedy 1982)MS3TK with Jack Palance and fungus amungusORAncient Alien Assault(ing University Science) Precinct 13
The Editor (Dir. Adam Brooks & Matthew Kennedy 2014)Giallo references and severed fingies a plenty!
Cassadaga (2011, Dir. Anthony DiBlasi)Louise Fletcher in a cheap-looking movie.
The Hitcher (Dir. Robert Harmon 1986)Wow, Star Trek's Quark tried interrogating Rutger?!?!?!
Mute Witness (1995)Talk about scared speechless, am i right?
Prince of Darkness (1987)Hey I remember my first green beer
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread.
Jamie Blanks' URBAN LEGEND (1998, PLUTO).
ReplyDeletePembleton University's Bechdel Test failure rate: 100%.
OR
"Let's Scare Alicia Witt to Death... AGAIN!"
Rob Reiner's MISERY (1990, Kino Lorber 4K UHD), First time seeing the movie in 4K. Also streaming on HBO Max.
ReplyDeleteReiner. King. Goldman. Sonnenfeld. Kurtzman. Nicotero. SOLD!
OR
Caan. Bates. Farnsworth. Sternhagen. Bacall. Mic drop.
Zach Cregger's BARBARIAN (2022, theater) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteDecades-old VHS didn't fade/snap? Yeah right!
OR
If only Mac guy got PC sooner.
Survival of the Dead (2009)
ReplyDeleteRomero's final thesis: Irish worse than Zombies.
ORPHAN: FIRST KILL (2022, Dir. William Brent Bell)
ReplyDeleteGood twists require a bit of Stiles.
Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)
ReplyDeletePro: No pedophile director.
Con: Everything else.
THE CURSE OF THE MUMMY'S TOMB (1964)
ReplyDeleteThose British actors are not convincing Arabs
or
Crass Americans should not fund Egyptian excavations
Hellraiser: Deader (2005)
ReplyDeleteThis is certainly the seventh Hellraiser movie.
Halloween H20, dir Steve Minor, 1998
ReplyDeleteThe Night Will meet the real Laurie
Improper use of dumbwaiter leads to accidents
Terrifier (2016)
ReplyDeleteOfficially joined PB’s “Reluctant Terrifier Fan Club”
Frankenstein Created Woman (1967, dir. Terence Fisher)
ReplyDeleteFrankenstein fashions fantastical fiend, facilitates freaky Friday.
CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011)
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Why isn't Kristen Connolly more famous???
Jeepers Creepers (2001, Dir. Victor Salva)
ReplyDeleteI guess if Myers learned to drive...
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
ReplyDelete"Sandersons are glad Mary picked the roombas."
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
ReplyDeleteMorgue Party! People dyin to get in!
DEMONOID (1981)
ReplyDeleteDoes EVERY mummified hand have a curse?
Frankenstein 1970 (1958)
ReplyDeleteWhatever the production, Karloff gives his all.
Vampire (1979, dir. E.W. Swackhamer)
ReplyDeleteEgbert Warnderink Swackhamer, best name in Hollywood.
Rumpelstiltskin (1995)
ReplyDeleteRump has a complicated understanding of adoption.
Dream Demon (1988)
ReplyDeleteTimothy Spall eating grossly: a cinematic terror.
THE VIDEO DEAD (1987)
ReplyDeleteTV really will rot your brains, kids.
Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002, dir. Rick Bota)
ReplyDeleteDean gets taste of his own Mayhem™
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteApaches (1977) dir. John Mackenzie
ReplyDeleteI wanna drive tractors even more now.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers (1988)
ReplyDeleteJamie’s classmates kinda deserve to meet Michael.
HOLLYWOOD MEAT CLEAVER MASSACRE (1977)
ReplyDeleteNot one meat cleaver to be found.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
ReplyDelete"Winds, winds, winds, winds, winds, WINDS...winds?"
The Mummy (1959)
ReplyDeleteAl Jolson unavailable to play an Egyptian.
Zombie (1979)
ReplyDeletePlease eat the voodoo drum circle already
The Howling (1981)
ReplyDelete[crooning] Werewolves boning by an open fire...
brilliant
DeleteBarbarian (2022)
ReplyDeleteHonestly have been in worse roommate situations,
COMMUNION (1989)
ReplyDeleteObligatory "But Walken's already an alien" joke.
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (Theatrical Cut) 4K
ReplyDeleteThis movie should not look this good.
Bordello of Blood
ReplyDeleteI do a terrible Dennis Miller impression.
Hellraiser: Bloodline
ReplyDeleteAlan Smithee is such an underrated director.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
ReplyDeleteWho hunts slugs with a meat cleaver?
THE BLOB (1958):
ReplyDeleteWhat’s with the Dollar Tree Gregory Peck?
The Munsters (2022)
ReplyDeleteI didnt shut if off..A win?
Comedy of Terrors (1963)
ReplyDelete"Jiggery Pokery" needs to make a comeback
Night Of The Living Dead (1968)
ReplyDeleteCrusty old white dudes predictably ruining everything
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
ReplyDeleteIt appears there's one in every family.
Halloween Resurrection (2002)
ReplyDeleteI don’t know why I watch this.
THE 4D MAN (1959)
ReplyDeleteNo actual 4D-ing until 50 minutes in.
Men (2022)
ReplyDeleteCreepfest that puts the "tree" in "patriarchy."
The Munsters (2022)
ReplyDeleteThe grooviest ghoulies: still silly and sweet.
Ring (1998)
ReplyDeleteCasual psychics in movies are my favourite!
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteDepp has the worst luck with beds.
LIFEFORCE (1985)
ReplyDeleteHooper: "What if Van Helsing fucked Dracula?"
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
ReplyDeleteFreddy "comes out" of the dream world
The Funhouse (1981) - First-time watch
ReplyDeleteUm not much fun in that house
Shutter Island (2010) Dir. Martin Scorsese
ReplyDeleteThe worst doctors this side of Haddonfield.
The Blob (1988)
ReplyDeleteAs Marvin Shwarz says, what a picture.
Mystery Of The Wax Museum (1933) dir. Michael Curtiz
ReplyDeleteSaid "junky" so much...Hayes Code invented.
Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)
ReplyDeleteHome Aloned the shit outta that beast!
The Horror of Dracula (1958)
ReplyDeleteExpected more Christopher Lee, but hey! Alfred!
JACK THE RIPPER (1976)
ReplyDeleteLike Hammer, but with graphic boob severing.
MY BEST FRIEND'S EXORCISM (2022)
ReplyDeleteNo Phil Collins on the soundtrack? Blasphemy!
Smile (2022)
ReplyDeleteIf It Follows left blue balls; frown
Candyman (2021, dir. Nia DaCosta)
ReplyDeleteUse "Knockin' Boots" in these movies, cowards!
The Gore Gore Girls (1972)
ReplyDeletePound that ass, no not like that
BLACK SUNDAY (1960)
ReplyDeleteIn this one, Barbara's coming for them!
Smile (2022)
ReplyDeleteBe a comedy and maybe I will.
Halloween Kills (2021)
ReplyDeleteEvil is not even mildly inconvenienced tonight.
or
Unnecessary sequel to the unnecessary sequel? Unnecessary.
Abbott and Castello meet Frankenstein (1948)
ReplyDeleteChick got no chick, Wilbur be thicc
Under Wraps 2 (2022)
ReplyDeleteBetter than Everything Everywhere All At Once
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood(1996 Dir Gilbert Adler)
ReplyDeleteOnly slightly easier to watch than film
Mary Reilly (1996)
ReplyDeleteDid John Malkovich turn into Tommy Wiseau?
Men (2022)
ReplyDeleteIntensely, disturbingly scary— this one GOES THERE!
Time Walker AKA Being From Another Planet (Dir. Tom Kennedy 1982)
ReplyDeleteMS3TK with Jack Palance and fungus amungus
OR
Ancient Alien Assault(ing University Science) Precinct 13
The Editor (Dir. Adam Brooks & Matthew Kennedy 2014)
ReplyDeleteGiallo references and severed fingies a plenty!
Cassadaga (2011, Dir. Anthony DiBlasi)
ReplyDeleteLouise Fletcher in a cheap-looking movie.
The Hitcher (Dir. Robert Harmon 1986)
ReplyDeleteWow, Star Trek's Quark tried interrogating Rutger?!?!?!
Mute Witness (1995)
ReplyDeleteTalk about scared speechless, am i right?
Prince of Darkness (1987)
ReplyDeleteHey I remember my first green beer
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete