(I was going to go with “For once David Allen Grier isn’t funny.” but then crumpled head DAG says, “This shit ain’t over yet bitch.” and I laughed out loud.)
1. DRACULA'S DAUGHTER 1936 (Dir. Lambert Hillyer) - Goths open art studio after predecessor's death.
2. TORTURE GARDEN 1967 (Dir. Freddie Francis) - a) That Darn (telepathic, human head eating) cat! b) Hollywood's full of fake people? NO WAY! c) Some lady gives a ghost pianist envy d) Palance plots for Peter's impossible Poe-tent potables.
3. THE BLACK CAT 1989 (Dir. Luigi Cozzi) - a) Edgar Allan Co(zzi)'s Demons Part 6: Suspirno b) Trini Alvarado lookalike twarts hair metal loving witch!
Coralie Fargeat's THE SUBSTANCE (2024, THEATER). 2nd viewing.
ReplyDeleteMargaret Qualley: Demi Moore's OTHER white meat.
OR
REVENGE. Dish best served with Cerebrospinal fluid.
OR
Makes Ti West's "MaXXXine" look like "Bambie."
SCREAM (1996)
ReplyDeleteThese seven words... will be right back!
Alberto De Martino's THE ANTICHRIST, AKA THE TEMPTER (1974, KINO CULT 4K UHD) for the first time.
ReplyDelete"The Exorcist's" Eurosleaze-soaked, boob-flashing, Italian kissin' cousin.
OR
Martino's sucking Friedkin's you-know-what in hell now.
OR
Exorcizing priest bigger afterthought than "Exorcist III's!"
Society (1989)
ReplyDeletePlease have Erika watch this for commentary.
Dracula Tod Browning 1931
ReplyDeleteAsylum to house open plan needs work
Love Lies Bleeding (2024)
ReplyDeleteReally weird sequel to Love Lights Hanukkah
Cuckoo (2024)
ReplyDeleteGood film despite disappointing lack of cucking
White Zombie (1932)
ReplyDeleteWaiter, there's a Lugosi in my wine.
NIGHT SWIM (2024, Dir. Bryce McGuire)
ReplyDeleteThe Swimityville Horror: Evil Takes A Dip
The Pope's Exorcist (2023, dir. Julius Avery)
ReplyDeleteMovie about Pope's personal trainer? I dunno...
Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2017, dir. Hèctor Hernández Vicens)
ReplyDeleteWho wrote this movie? ChatGPT's dumber cousin?
JeffGPT
DeleteEvil Dead II (1987)
ReplyDeleteEvil book on Kindle? Yes. Audible? No.
Deep Blue Sea (1999, Dir. Renny Harlin)
ReplyDeleteHat Like A Sharks Fin, better title
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWrote 20 reviews about Margret Qualley's ass.
ReplyDeleteTHE FRONT ROOM (2024)
ReplyDeleteThis is why we have nursing homes.
The Ritual (2017)
ReplyDeleteMost expensive bottle of middle shelf vodka
PSYCHO (1960)
ReplyDeleteMother wouldn’t let Maxxxine inside her house.
Immaculate (2024)
ReplyDeleteCertainly didn't conceive of an original story
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991, dir. Rachel Talalay) (with FTM commentary)
ReplyDelete"Freddys coming for you" lacks an apostrophe.
Children of the Corn (1984)
ReplyDeleteOriginal Title: 4H Club Goes Full Purge
.......or (regional bit...)
Yelp Review: Goebberts young staff too stabby.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003, Dir. Rob Zombie)
ReplyDeleteMeditation on the passing of Roadside Attractions
The First Omen (2024)
ReplyDeleteStarts as surprisingly good nun hangout movie.
Frankenweenie (1984, dir. Tim Burton)
ReplyDeleteAbbott and Costello Meet Frankenweenie was funnier.
The Wolf Man (1941, dir. George Waggner)
ReplyDeleteHairy Larry has a very large telescope.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Substance (2024)
ReplyDeleteDrag Henenlotter and they're both Patty Mullen
Tales From the Hood (1995) dir. Rusty Cundieff
ReplyDeleteNever fuck around with angry, haunted dolls!
(I was going to go with “For once David Allen Grier isn’t funny.” but then crumpled head DAG says, “This shit ain’t over yet bitch.” and I laughed out loud.)
PSYCHO (1960):
ReplyDeleteIt would be $425,400 in 2024 dollars.
Grave Torture (2024, dir. Joko Anwar)
ReplyDeleteJud was right; sometimes dead is better.
Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
ReplyDeleteThe mac and cheese of horror movies.
Lou's face when he successfully pulls the tablecloth gets me every time.
DeleteHalloween 2 (1981, dir Rick Rosenthal)
ReplyDeleteHigher body count, unfortunately less scares count
Apartment 7a (2024)
ReplyDeleteWouldn't have watched this any other month.
THE MONSTER WALKS (1932)
ReplyDeleteThe Rue Morgue must be next door.
The Watchers (2024)
ReplyDeleteReally wanted to like this, but didn't.
Roadgames (1981, dir. Richard Franklin)
ReplyDeleteI'm older than Keach in Roadgames. Devastating.
NIGHT OF TERROR (1933)
ReplyDelete"There's a killer? Let's try on hats!"
Child’s Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteSometimes, good guys don’t wear denim snaps.
Crawl (2019)
ReplyDeleteAte her, Gator? Too much guile, Crocodile.
In a Violent Nature (2024 Dir. Chris Nash)
ReplyDeleteLame killer stalks lamer victims. Walking ensues
Turbulence (1997)
ReplyDeleteHow to improve disaster movie? Serial killer!
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteMore of a human than JD Vance
Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
ReplyDeleteKristen Parker is the 1980s Marion Crane.
Sinister (2012)
ReplyDeleteA very dark film, thematically and visually!
Altered States (1980)
ReplyDeleteTurning into an ape must've really...Hurt.
🤣😎👍
DeleteHush (2016)
ReplyDeleteDon’t mess with a single cat lady
FREDDY’S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991) (With F This Movie commentary!)
ReplyDeleteAre dream demons related to the Langoliers?
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
ReplyDeleteLiterally the Home Owners Association from Hell.
Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
ReplyDeleteWhat if Problem Child starred the antichrist?
Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948, dir Charles Barton)
ReplyDeleteYes JB, I love mac and cheese!
1. DRACULA'S DAUGHTER 1936 (Dir. Lambert Hillyer) - Goths open art studio after predecessor's death.
ReplyDelete2. TORTURE GARDEN 1967 (Dir. Freddie Francis) - a) That Darn (telepathic, human head eating) cat! b) Hollywood's full of fake people? NO WAY! c) Some lady gives a ghost pianist envy d) Palance plots for Peter's impossible Poe-tent potables.
3. THE BLACK CAT 1989 (Dir. Luigi Cozzi) - a) Edgar Allan Co(zzi)'s Demons Part 6: Suspirno b) Trini Alvarado lookalike twarts hair metal loving witch!
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeleteA great kickoff to Scary Movie Month!
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)
ReplyDeleteIt's not October until Rafe Guttman investigates
Christine (1983)
ReplyDeleteGlad Stanton got to take a shower.
THE GHOUL (1933)
ReplyDeleteThis is a much better Crow remake.
THEM (1954)
ReplyDeleteSpit's the only thing holding me together!
Tentacles(1977 Dir. Ovidio G. Assonitis)
ReplyDeleteNot the Dan Schnieder biopic I expected
or
3 Oscar winners and only 2 stars
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
ReplyDeleteOh no! Where's the bees? Oh there
Night of the Comet (1984)
ReplyDeleteKelli Maroney in a mall? Yes please
"Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare"
ReplyDeleteAdam's new movie crush is Elinor Donahue!
The Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteAll work and no play makes… Goddamnit!
Review count for day 1: 61
ReplyDeleteMisery (1990)
ReplyDeleteHell of a movie. End of review
V/H/S/85 (2023)
ReplyDeleteHow long until “Snap Case DVD / 98”?
Sinister (2012)
ReplyDeleteDo some serious research before you move
The watchers (2024)
ReplyDeleteTall angel humans are not for me.