Review: GLADIATOR II

 by Rob DiCristino

What we do in the original film echoes in its sequel.

There are filmmakers and there are filmmakers, and Sir Ridley Scott is the latter. That’s not to say that he should top the list of canonical masters or that his resume isn’t without its blemishes, of course. But even as he approaches his ninetieth birthday, Scott has remained relentless in his output, and through that relentlessness has exemplified the difference between using a medium to serve an idea and using an idea to serve a medium. Put simpler: He’s a proper fucking Director, a workhorse whose compulsive need to make movies is far more powerful than the particular aesthetic or creative merits of any individual project. Ridley Scott doesn’t wait for inspiration to strike; he straps on a helmet, grabs a baseball bat, and chases inspiration down until it’s bound, bleeding, and begging for mercy. And again, does this reckless disregard for caution occasionally backfire? Absolutely. For every Blade Runner, there’s a Legend. For every Last Duel, there’s a Napoleon. But as long as Ridley Scott is breathing, he will be making movies, and far as I’m concerned, that makes him one of the good guys.

His latest is Gladiator II, the long-gestating follow-up to your step-dad's favorite historical action epic. A generation after Maximus Decimus Meridius sacrificed his life for the glory of Rome, the callous negligence of twin emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn) and Caracalla (Fred Hechinger) has driven the empire into disarray. More concerned with expanding their boundaries than feeding their subjects, Their Majesties send General Acacius (Pedro Pascal; for those keeping count, that’s now two of Marvel’s Fantastic Four) to conquer new territories and bring the rowdy colonies to heel. When one of these campaigns costs Lucius (Paul Mescal) his wife (Yuval Gonen) and his freedom, he’s brought before Macrinus (Denzel Washington), an ostentatious slave merchant who offers him a chance to earn that freedom back by fighting in the gladiatorial pits. As Lucius plots his revenge on Acacius, Queen Lucilla (Connie Nielsen) recognizes the Russell Crowe-shaped specter around this ruthless warrior and wonders if her past misdeeds have finally caught up with her.

And if all you’re looking for is another dose of the grand, violent, colorful spectacle that permeated throughout the original Gladiator, then you’re sure to have a great time with the sequel. Loved the tiger fight? This has a baboon fight! Loved Maximus’ opening battle with the crossbows and trebuchets? Guess how this starts! Wasn’t it awesome when Maximus unified the gladiators against the chariots? Guess what Lucius does against galleys when the Coliseum is flooded with shark-infested water! The whole thumbs-up/down thing? Yup. And if this all sounds a bit dismissive, well, it kind of is! It’s frustrating when a legacy sequel bends over backwards to imitate the essential beats of its predecessor, as if our most precious cinematic memories could ever be reduced to boxes on a checklist. Audiences may think they want the familiar, but filmmakers should know better: We don’t want to see Gladiator again. We want to feel what we felt when we first saw Gladiator again. There’s a difference.

But before you dismiss Gladiator II as more nostalgia bait — the bread and circuses of our deteriorating cultural landscape — remember that this is a Ridley Scott joint, and Sir Ridley would rather be caught dead than sleepwalk through a production that bears his name. Even his worst films have a redeeming flavor of weirdness, and this is no exception. While its plotting may be derivative, its final act may be thematically incoherent, and its leading man may lack the charisma that turned Russell Crowe into a superstar, Gladiator II is still an exceptionally well-crafted piece of blockbuster entertainment, a juicy cheeseburger made all the more satisfying because it never thinks it’s filet mignon. Does the film play fast and loose with history? Yes. Does Scott make up for it by having a guy get stabbed through the Adam’s apple with a wooden sword? He does! Can you literally feel him getting bored around the two-hour mark and rushing his way to a too-tidy climax? Yes. But does a syphilitic princling also appoint his pet monkey the first consul of Rome? You’d better fucking believe it.

And since we’re believing in things, let’s turn our attention to Denzel Washington, perhaps the most captivating special effect in Scott’s not-inconsiderable arsenal. Washington is having a blast as the conniving Macrinus — dancing around in ornate robes, fiddling with gaudy jewelry, and making fuck eyes at so many bare-footed Roman senators that we imagine the health of the empire may very well rest on how often he’s vini vidi-ing his vici. While Scott never has the patience to develop his character arc thoughtfully or deliberately enough to make his reveals and double-crosses land the way they should — again, we need time for gladiators to be impaled by rhino horns, and I respect that — Washington is such a joyous on-screen presence that we can’t help but forgive these narrative indiscretions. And so while Gladiator II is by no means a great film, it is further evidence that Ridley Scott is still expert at understanding his assets and playing to his strengths. Not every outing is a masterpiece, but they’ll all try to be entertaining. Rest assured, you will be entertained.

Gladiator II hits US theaters on Friday, November 22nd.