2K Replay: FANTASTIC FOUR (2005)

 by Adam Riske

Nominated for “Best Hero” (Jessica Alba) at the MTV Movie Awards. She lost to Christian Bale in Batman Begins.

• Best Scene/Moment (tie): Anything related to Ben Grimm’s love life (especially what Laurie Holden is given to do) and the reaction shots of the freaked out older women at the 89-minute mark when The Thing jumps on their car. It’s like Control Room Lady in Volcano level good. You Volcano-heads know what I’m talking about.

• Best Song: “Noots” by Sum 41.

• Best Merch: A “Rare HTF Fantastic Four Film 2005 Cast & Crew Hat” for $500.00. They should at least give you the mannequin head with it for that cost.

• Director Grade: Fantastic Four was directed by Tim Story.
Great Movies: N/A
Good Movies: Barbershop
OK Movies: Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Think Like a Man, Shaft (2019)
Bad Movies: Ride Along, Ride Along 2, Tom and Jerry
Unseen By Me: One of Us Tripped, The Firing Squad, Taxi, Hurricane Season, Think Like a Man Too, The Blackening, Dashing Through the Snow
Overall Grade: C-

• Double It with This 2005 Movie: Elektra

• Year 2005 Movies to Trailer Before Them: The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D, Sky High, Son of the Mask

• Never Talk to Strangers or Fantastic Four? Never Talk to Strangers

• Mall Movie? Yes. All 20th Century Fox movies based on Marvel properties are mall movies.

• Only in 2005 (tie): This specific cast being assembled for a big budget Fantastic Four movie and the Burger King/Xbox/Mountain Dew product placements.

• Scene Stealer: Laurie Holden.

• I Miss: Julian McMahon (RIP).

• I Don’t Miss: Frozen Ioan Gruffudd. It’s scarier than it had any right to be.

• 2005 Crush (tie): Laurie Holden and Maria Menounos.

• 2025 Crush (tie): Jessica Alba and Maria Menounos.

• What I Thought in 2005: I don’t really remember to be honest. I know I skipped this one in theaters and caught up with it on DVD. Back in 2007, I recall preferring the sequel to the original and only thinking Silver Surfer was okay at best. By deduction, I probably didn’t like Fantastic Four (2005) all that much, especially compared to the Raimi Spider-Man movies, which I did (and still do) love.

• What I Think in 2025: I was into it for 26 minutes (I know because I was surprised so I checked the timecode) but then the movie fell apart after that. Honestly, I don’t mind superhero movie failures when they’re like this since they’re so modest in goal. It’s like Fox-Marvel’s mandate was to hit singles. The cast is fine, though lacking in gravitas and star power, and the movie works nicely as a time capsule for 2005. It’s the kind of meh movie for which I have a begrudging respect.