A Diorama Up Someone’s Ass: The Phoenician Scheme
A Dog Can’t Do All Your Homework: Good Boy
Also Recognizes The Peacemaker (1997) Rules: Jay Kelly
Always Listen to Patrick and Mike Recommendations: Nouvelle Vague
Attaboy Elric: The Dead Thing
Best 2025 Burns: The Family McMullen
Best Centerpiece Sequence: Highest 2 Lowest
Better Than I Expected: 28 Years Later
Biggest Disappointment: Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning
Could’ve Been an Email: Megadoc
Did I Hallucinate This? Stealing Pulp Fiction
Did You Mean to Make Him Look Like an Asshole? It’s Never Over, Jeff Buckley
Dumbest Shit Ever: I Know What You Did Last Summer
Enough Already: Superman
Feels Like a Movie from 1993: The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie
Feels Like a Movie from 1996: One of Them Days
Feels Like a Movie from 2007: Fight or Flight
Good 2025 Burns: Millers in Marriage
Good Drama, Bad Comedy: Materialists
Good One Scene/Bad Another: Together
“Heartbreak Feels Good in a Place Like This”: The Life of Chuck
Hidden Gem: Eephus
Homeboy Looks Just Like Cruise Lestat: Frankenstein
I Didn’t Mind It: Caught Stealing
I Dunno…He Probably Had Good Times Too? John Candy: I Like Me
I Dunno…Recommended? Karate Kid: Legends
I Give It Tree and a Half Branches: Train Dreams
I’m the Only Person Who Saw: Not Just a Goof
It’s Fine/She’s FINE: Oh, Hi!
It’s Kinda Just There: Freakier Friday
Like a Saturday Morning Cartoon Show: Predator: Badlands
Like Eating at Applebee’s When You Wanted to Eat at Chili’s: Paddington in Peru
Most Canadian (complimentary): The Shrouds
Most Clamoring for an MTV Movie Awards Nomination for Best Villain: Sinners
Most Cognizant of People Getting Meals In: Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere
Most Dollar Tree: The Fetus
Most Geico Slasher Movie Commercial: Clown in a Cornfield
Most Intermittently Funny: Friendship
Most Obnoxious: The Monkey
Most Old Country Buffet: The Alto Knights
Most Patting on its Own Back: Heart Eyes
Most Pennywise: Weapons
Most Pleasant: Sacramento
Most Product Placement: Oh. What. Fun.
Most Surprisingly Violent: Novocaine
Most Sweet: Nonnas
Most Tedious: Mickey 17
Most Tense: One Battle After Another
Most Undercooked: Shelby Oaks
Most Underrated: The Surfer
Most Unnecessary: Lilo & Stitch
Most Walmart $5 Bin: Final Destination Bloodlines
Most Wealth Flaunting: Being Eddie
Movie I Can’t Believe I Saw in Theaters: Witchboard
Movie I Like Less Than Everyone Else: Black Bag
Movie I Like More Than Everyone Else: Honey Don’t!
Pleasant Surprise: Dangerous Animals
Pretty Good: Ballerina
Saves Me a Trip to the Academy Museum: Jaws at 50: The Definitive Inside Story
Seems Irresponsibly Expensive: F1
So Bad It Should Be Against the Law: High Rollers
So Poorly Made It’s Uncomfortable: Happy Gilmore 2
The Ideal January Movie: Companion
“The Wood-man’s Done It Again”: Bugonia
Ugh: Thunderbolts*
We Misunderstood Why People Like This: Den of Thieves 2: Pantera
What Are Movies? A Merry Little Ex-Mas
Will Play Like Gangbusters at Fraternities: The Long Walk
Worst Movie: Love Hurts
Worst Product Placement for Orange Juice: Presence
Worst Third Act: The Running Man
Worst Twist: Relay
WTF: The Threesome
Yikes: Bad Shabbos
“YOU BLEW IT” (Robert De Niro voice): The Naked Gun
You Can Stop Any Time Now: Jurassic World Rebirth
I’m kind of in your camp on Black Bag. I don’t dislike it, but I’m certainly not as over the moon about it as a lot of people have been this year.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was pretty good but I liked Presence more of Soderbergh's two movies this year.
Delete“Pretty good” sounds about where I stand with it as well.
DeleteOn another note, because I’m craving something pleasant and/or sweet, this has inspired me to check out Sacramento and Nonnas. The latter especially sounds like something want in my life, which is to say a wonderful, heartwarming and feel good movie. That’s how I’m seeing it described anyway. One user review on Rotten Tomatoes called it “a warm little hug of a movie.” I’m in for that!
*I want
DeleteI second Nonna, it's very good
DeleteI would add Ella McCay to the pleasant/sweet list. I saw it after I finished this article and it has major Dave (1993) vibes.
DeleteI didn’t think I was gonna feel like laughing today but the Sinners award got me. So thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you for reminding me that I still need to make time to see Oh, Hi! and The Surfer.
Glad this dropped today to bring some laughs. We all sure can use some. Let me know what you think of Oh Hi and The Surfer when you see them.
DeleteOMG...so much fun...so many giggles. Well played sir!!!! (also, i was reflecting today how i watched Jurassic World Rebirth maybe 4 weeks ago and i cant remember any of it)
ReplyDeleteTotally. I was forgetting it as I was watching it.
Delete