Thursday, February 3, 2011

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Week of January 31)

Greetings from Honduras! BOOM! Just because my wife and I take an exotic vacation doesn't mean I can't provide you with the latest batch of racist, anti-Semitic, hot-tub-blowjobic trailers, does it? Without further ado ...

The Beaver
Release date: March 23, 2011

I deserve to be blown, first, before the fucking Jacuzzi! OK? I'll burn the goddamn house down, but blow me first! (screaming) How dare you! How fucking dare you. (panting) Rerrrggghh! You wanted the number of my therapist? Don't you ever speak to him! Find your own goddamn therapist. (panting) Because you got problems, more than me.

Release date: April 8, 2011

I'm intrigued by this movie, but hardly because of this nutty trailer. And that girl's kind of ... scary looking? I know I shouldn't comment (good or bad) about the looks of underage actresses, but her face haunts my dreams (which is probably the point). Also (spoiler?), Cate Blanchett is her mom, right? That, or she's an AI robot (David?). "My brain is falling out."

Your Highness
Release date: April 8, 2011

If you're feeling randy, check out the red-band trailer, here. In fact, F the embedded YouTube video above: you only really need to see the R-rated version; specifically, 1:25 minutes in. Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing! Natalie Portman FTW! That PG trailer is LAME. And what's with the CGI underpants? Disgrazia!

1 comment:

  1. * ...That Beaver trailer cannot be real. It looks like somebody's trailer riff on Castaway where Wilson inherits the spirit of Chucky the Doll.

    * She's either Cate Blanchett's kid, or the daughter of the White Witch from Narnia.

    * Oh great, I've been waiting for iron thongs to get back into style. (Having those forged is such a pain, that's too easy.) ;)