Thursday, February 9, 2012

Introducing "I'll Watch Anything!"

Doug came up with an idea for a new feature, and YOU can take part!

We'd like to introduce a new feature (possibly recurring; we'll have to see how it goes) here at F This Movie!: "I'll Watch Anything!," in which you, faithful readers, suggest movies you want us to watch. Then we watch them. Hopefully, we'll write about them, too, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

It's easy! Choose something you know to be terrible just because you think it would be funny. Choose something you believe to be great and want more people to have seen. Choose something you know to be bugnuts crazy, just so that we can all feel a little more alive, like when Oh Dae-su eats the octopus in Oldboy (a movie Doug should watch; see? It's working already).

As far as rules? There aren't many. We just ask that the movies be readily available (nothing so obscure it's impossible to track down); Netflix Instant would be the best place to start, since most/all of us are subscribers.

I'll get the ball rolling with a few suggestions of what some of the other FTM! contributors should watch -- not that they have to do this, since they don't even know this is happening (we mostly communicate through blog these days) or is a thing. And it's not necessary to suggest a specific movie for a specific person, unless you have a really good reason and you're able to back that up. It's better to just recommend movies in the comments below, and let us decide who's going to watch them (SPOILERS: it's Doug).

I'd like to see Doug watch The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, because this feature was his idea and he should put his money where his mouth is.

I'd like Erich to watch Joe Versus the Volcano, because I think he would love it (assuming he hasn't seen it already).

I'd like Mark Ahn to watch The Exorcist, because it's important to step outside of one's comfort zone. And into the arms of the demonically possessed.

I'd like to see JB watch The American President, because he's never seen it, and people drink the sand because they don't know the difference.

See? It's easy. Get those suggestions going in the comments. Let's watch anything.

75 comments:

  1. I'd like to see Doug and Patrick watch Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar movie. It's onDemand available on iTunes, youtube etc....

    I'd like this because Doug love's T and E and Patrick hates T and E.

    Let's see what happens when two opposing view points come together to discuss this polarizing movie!

    I love you both, good luck!

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    1. I actually already did! Review coming soon...

      Thank you for the suggestion, Smokey and/or Casper.

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    2. I dislike Tim and Eric too (unfortunately?).

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    3. I want Patrick and Doug to watch Akira Kurosawa's Stray Dog.

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0041699/

      It's a Kurosawa film that has no samurai's! Also I love it. Post WWII Japan! It was filmed in 1949.

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    4. I will see this Stray Dog. If it's anything like Old Dogs, I'm going to LOVE it!

      Delete
  2. Damn. Called out. I can't promise writing anything about "The Exorcist" because I no longer may have a soul that belongs to me.

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  3. I'd like Doug to watch The Labyrinth.
    More importantly, I want him to watch it with me.
    (Puppet Movies-2 Doug-0)

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  4. Whose horrible idea was this?

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  5. Check out "The Holy Mountain" It will be playing at the Music Box Feb. 24&25

    It can be viewed with or without the use of psychedlic drugs; either way, you're in for a treat.

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    1. I would just like to point out that F This Movie has been a drug-free blog since late December.

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    2. Correction, JB. Since 9:30 this morning.

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    3. Damnit, Patrick. I am your sponsor. I just ordered your 30 day chip.

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  6. I don't have Netflix (only Amazon Prime Instant Video) so I can only go with what my heart (which yes, will go on... thank you!) utters from deep within my cinephile-loving heart.

    I would really like all the 'F This Movie' crew (or at least those that DVR'ed it when I told them that TCM was airing it a couple of weeks ago) to watch Andrzej Zulawski's 1981 opus "Possession." No amount of comments or reviews online can do justice to the utter mind-fuck that is experiencing this movie for the first time, especially if you don't know much about it and are married w/children (or not). "Possession" is currently not available on R1 video (Mondo Vision will release it later this year; an Anchor Bay early 2000's release is OOP) but I hope at least someone at 'F This Movie' DVR'ed it earlier this year. You'll thank me (or hate me more than you already do) later. ;-)

    I would really like JB and Patrick to watch Bill Condon's "Gods and Monsters" (1998) and, if possible, 'F' it in a podcast. You guys are so in love with the classic Universal horror movies that this semi-fictionalized account of the last days of Frank Whale (played by a pre-"X-Men" and pre-"Lord of the Rings" Ian McKellen) could spark some renewed discussion of the classics from a different perspective (like Whale's homosexuality influencing his portrayal of the monsters in his movies as misunderstood innocents). There are even re-enactments of Whale filming his classic horror movies, which for fans like yourselves would be a hoot-and-a-half to watch. "Gods and Monsters" won a Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar and has Brenda Fraser as his dramatic best (not as good as McKellen but better than "Encino Men" :-p). Worth tracking.

    I'd like Mike to watch the "Trekkies" (1997) documentaries to realize if he sees something of himself (a bonafide "Star Wars" nut) into these fans of a different-but-similar sci-fi franchise. I'd like Mark Ahn (the only one of the group that seems to gravitate toward Asian cinema semi-regularly) to watch Wong Kar-Wai's "Chungking Express" (1994) and/or "Happy Together" (1997) to explain to me how the ass-kicking cop from John Woo's "Hard Boiled" (1991) can switch his gears from bad-ass to... 'bad' ass? (wink, wink). :-O

    I'd like Alex Dawson to watch "The Arrival" (1996) so he can analyze Charlie Sheen's performance as a paranoid person escaping an alien invasion with the "Two And A Half Men" perspective. Either that or Sonnenfeld's "Wild Wild West" (1999) so Alex can sing the whole theme song from start to finish again. :-) Erich A. should watch "Larry Crowne" (2011) so he can take back everything nice he said about Tom Hanks in the "That Thing You Do" podcast. Last, Erika should watch "Risky Business" (1983) so the sight of a teenage Ethan Hunt dancing in his underwear will jolt her heart and keep her going through her current pregnancy (hold tight sis, the pain/joy of birth can't be worse than the last time). More later when I'm not eating brunch.

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    1. Of course I have seen Gods and Monsters. It is terrific. It was directed by Bill Condon before he took over the (ahem) Twilight franchise.

      Oh, and it is JAMES Whale.

      (Boy, did that ever make me sound like a douche). Has anyone here ever seen Gods and Douches?

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    2. Unless "Larry Crowne" is a snuff film, I don't see it changing my mind about Tom Hanks, or "That Thing You Do!"

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    3. Love Wong Kar Wai! And Tony Leung!

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    4. 'Has anyone here ever seen Gods and Douches?'

      Why yes, my good man, I have seen 'The Da Vinci Code' and 'Angels & Demons.'

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    5. Mark Ahn is the only one who likes Asian movies? That's racist.

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    6. I didn't say "only one who likes," I said "one who gravitate toward" Asian cinema. I based this on reading the posts on blogpost and keeping (mental) track of the many times Ahn has brought up Asian movies. Second after Mark would be you Patrick ("I Saw The Devil" being your 2nd favorite movie of 2011 cements your position behind Mark). That Ahn happens to be an Asian-American Korean dude with beautiful feet (per Erika's comments on the 100th podcast) that also happens to mention/write about Asian movies more than anybody else on 'F This Movie' is just a coincidence... I think!?!?! :-)

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  7. The good: I'll assume JB has seen it, so the rest of you can see the best comedy of the 1940's, "His Girl Friday."

    The bad: Because it is fascinatingly terrible, someone who hasn't seen it should see Catwoman and give their thoughts.

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    1. Agree on His Girl Friday-- just a terrific screwball comedy. Some of the fastest dialogue exchanges in the history of film.

      Allegedly, it was director Howard Hawks' idea to take The Front Page and make one of the two newspaper men a woman.

      Genius.

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    2. And I'll admit to a weird liking for the 1980's version of Front Page, Switching Channels (oddly, the only one I outright don't like is the 1970's version with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau; something feels off about it).

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  8. When Alex Dawson (of the Chippewa Falls Dawson's) is finished with The Arrival, I'd like him to watch Eight Below to see if it can hang with Snow Dogs or Balto.

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    1. After Alex Lawson watches The Arrival, I'd like him to watch The Departed. Just for contrast.

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  9. The Good/Bad?!
    1. Tokyo Gore Police-My introduction to filmmaker Noboru Iguchi(RoboGeisha, The Machine Girl)This film has so many WTF?! moments that I can't say for feeling that I would spoil the experience of this crazy film.

    2. BASEketball-I have never seen this, but remember kids at school at the time it came out quoting it and think it was hilarious. I'm interested in your guys feelings about it.

    3. Laserblast-Truthfully, I just saw the movie poster of this on Netflix Instant and just picked it random because it looks so awesomely bad.

    4. Ghost World- Not on Netflix Instant but should be easy to find. I really identified with this film and its characters. Great actors and film.

    5. Ichi the Killer-REALLY dark and sadistic. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. One of Takashi Miike's "masterpieces".

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    1. ^^^ "Laserblast" is also one of the funniest "MST3K" episodes ever (the show's last for the Comedy Central channel). Feel free to make your own color commentary along with "Laserblast" for guaranteed twice-as-much fun as you'd have just watching the flick.

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  10. I'll have to think about this more, but for now I want Patrick to (finally) watch The Wild Hunt, so he can tell me whether I'm crazy for thinking it was good.

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  11. The good news is that I have seen almost every movie mentioned here already, with the exception of The Wild Hunt.

    Also, I would like to get this Alex Dawson on the podcast.

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    1. ^^^ LOL... get your 'FTM' crew together with this Dawson charater and you can all PLAY... THE FEUD!!! :-)

      My bad, it's Alex Lawson!

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  12. Watch "The Robber"(Austrian) It was one of my favorite films of last year. I think everyone would like it.

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  13. Just put it in my queue. Thanks, Luke.

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  14. I want Erika to watch "The Color of Money" so she can get to see Tom Cruise and Paul Newman teaming up together.

    I want Mark Ahn to watch "Gigli" because of all the dumb stuff going on like J.Lo saying "turkey time" to Ben Affleck and young Justin Bartha rapping to "Baby Got Back" while cutting a guy's thumb.

    I want Erich to watch "Single White Female" just to see if you can avoid someone who is roommates with you by copying them and stalking them.

    I want Patrick to watch "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle" in case if you hire someone to be a nanny to your kids, all hell will break loose.

    I want JB to watch "The Bonfire of the Vanities" because this another adaptation of a book that completely went haywire.

    I want Doug to watch "Freddy Got Fingered" based on all of Tom Green's crazy antics.

    I want Mike to watch "Street Fighter" mostly on Raul Julia's over-the-top performance of M. Bison in his last role.

    I want Alex to watch "The Wicker Man" remake because of Nicolas Cage going insane by punching women, wearing a bear suit and getting attacked by bees.

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    1. *Slowly puts Gigli ahead of The Exorcist in the queue. Then puts the lotion in the basket.*

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    2. ^^^ But the Kar-Wai's are still ahead of "Gigli" in the queue, right? RIGHT?!?! :-(

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    3. Single White Female, eh? Well, I'm one of those three things. I'll leave which one a mystery.

      I'll add it to my figurative queue. Thanks for the suggestion!

      Delete
  15. I want Doug to watch Josie And The Pussycats and revel in its on the nose pop culture, consumerism parody.

    I want Patrick an JB to watch Uzumaki beacuse it's one of the best horror film of the 90's and because it's pretty much a Japanese version of a David Lynch film.

    And I'd like anybody to please f*** High Tension - I hate that flick.

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  16. Who wants to watch "Attack Force Z"

    WWII film set in China staring a young Mel Gibson.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083591/

    Hey I guess it should be Patrick, it came out in 1982 his favorite year in film!

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  17. Choose something you know to be terrible...Troll 2 may be one of the worst movies ever made. It's called Troll 2, but there is no original Troll. It's streaming on Netflix and you owe it to yourself to see this horrendous piece of film making.

    Something you believe to be great...The Host, a South Korean sci-fi horror monster movie that fying rocks! One of the best movies of 2006 and one of the best horror movies I've seen in a long time.

    Something you know to be bugnuts crazy...Charles Laughton only directed one film, and it's one of the greatest movies ever made. If you have not seen Night of the Hunter stop reading this and watch this movie. It's told from a child's prospective and features a haunting bugnuts performance from Robert Mitchum Unfortunately it's not streaming, but you can add it to your Netflix DVD queue or you should be able to check out the Criterion DVD from your local library.

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    1. ^^^ You've seen JB's photo for his 'Shitting on the Classics' column RossReader? It's an homage to one of "NOTH's" classic visual motiffs. I'd like Jan and Erika to watch it, one to feel good about the son that didn't go through that in life and the other to fear the day her little one's might run into the poe'd ghost of Mitchum during Scary Movie Month. :-)

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    2. Ross - There IS an original Troll. It's from 1986 and was directed by F/X guy John Carl Buechler and stars Noah Hathaway (Atreyu!) as a character named HARRY POTTER and Julia Louis Dreyfus. It's terrible, and it has nothing to do with Troll 2. Maybe you're thinking of the fact that the movie is called TROLL 2 but there are no actual trolls? They're all goblins (NILBOG!).

      I just watched Night of the Hunter again, and this may be blasphemous to say, but I'm not crazy about the last third of that movie. By the time the kids are taking their river ride, you think "This is one of the best movies ever made!", but I'm not crazy about any of the orphanage stuff. I think I just need to watch it again, because I get how it fits in with the rest of the movie. I just need to warm up to that stuff.

      And, yes, The Host is great.

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  18. ^^^ You have seen the photo of JB for his 'Shitting on the Classics' column, right RossReader? It's a direct lift from one of the movie's iconic images.

    And agree on "The Host" (from the director of last year's "Mother"), a great movie that is much more than a horror/monster movie mash-up. I own the HD-DVD (same transfer as Blu-ray) and it looks like a million bucks. Patrick has already made the leap naming "I Saw the Devil" as his 2nd favorite 2011 movie. How about this to break the curse of the non-English, non-American podcast that 'F This Movie' has yet to record? Come on guys (i.e. Patrick), it's a cinema-loving community and good movies know no language/culture/color/budget barriers... if it's a good flick it deserves to be F'ed regardless of whether it's B&W (or not), foreign (or not) or not in English.

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  19. Thank you for correcting me Patrick. There is indeed a Troll with Harry Potter, I must have meant that Troll 2 has nothing to do with Troll 1. Best Worst Movie is streaming on Netflix, and that might be better than watching either Troll movies.

    The orphanage does seem out of place with the rest of the movie, but it does give us chilling great moments. The duet with Lillian Gish cocking a shotgun is pretty disturbing. The last third of the movie also has one of my favorite lines in a movie. "Life's hard on small things."

    Hold on, wait...NILBOG...oh my God NILBOG is GOBLIN spelled backwards!!!

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    1. That is a great line, even if it's a little on-the-nose in stating the thesis of the movie. But it's great, and you're right.

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  20. Jeez, you get up, you go to work, you come home, and the whole world has changed. 38 posts and counting in an awesome new thread for an awesome new feature. I gotta spend some time thinking about this. In the meantime, I find that watching Gods And Douches really helps me relax and think, so that's where I'll be.

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  21. I think "Mad World" deserves a viewing. It's really low budget ($50,000) and takes a little getting used to, but it progresses like you wouldn't believe and damn is it dark!

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  22. I need someone to watch 2001's "Planet of the Apes" so they can explain the end to me. Or explaining the whole movie would be more helpful, but if someone can just tell me about the ape/Lincoln statue thing or wtf-ever I was supposed to get there? Where did I blink and miss how it didn't completely go off the rails during the last act? Educate me, please!

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    1. Listen up "Dawn" and prepare to be edumacated!

      That stupid cloud thingy that makes everything retarded and also send people through time and space or whatever, works on a "first in last out" basis. Thats awesome right? No. So, at the start of the movie the three crafts that enter the tard-o-turd cloud enter in the order of: Monkey Monk, Marky Mark, followed by the Funky Bunch's giant spaceship. They exit the cloud in the reverse order to which they enter. So the first to exit is the giant spaceship (hence it being burried in the desert for many many years at the end of the film), the middle thing to exit is Wallburger and the last to exit is Dr Victor Monkeyhead at the climax of the film (the only part of this film that is not only super intelligent, like the rest of it, but super dooper awesome smart, like none of it, is that the monkey is actually a Deus ex Machina....but dont let that drown out the sound of amazingballs that is the rest of the Academy-snubbed masterpiece).
      Therefore, at the end of the film with General Orange trapped in the cubbyhouse of doom and Marky Mark going back into the cloud-o-pants, we can assume that Seargant Grumpy Pants uses the spaceship to follow Marky into the cloud......HENCE/THEREFORE/IN CONCLUSION/I STOPPED CARING TEN MINUTES AGO, Captain Pumpkin exited the cloud BEFORE Wallburg (because he entered after him...you following? nah, me either), with enough time to somehow populate the entire planet with intelligent apes of ALL species , freed the ape slaves and i guess got shot by some pissed off actor ape, then became immortalised in stone.

      In short: This movie is dumb and I am dumber for knowing this much about it. F*** Burton. He created an unintelligent film based on vague memories of the original series that he saw half of when he was 7 years old, with the only memory that lasted that time being "hee, hee, people look like monkey."

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    2. Your explanation made more sense than the movie so thank you...and I don't think you're dumber than the movie at all. I'm not sure such a state is even possible. But again thank you, because now I can try to explain this to my dad and we can finally end a decade-long conversation that goes:

      Him: "What's up with the end of Planet of the Apes?"

      Me: "I don't know, I'll try and find out for you."

      Planet of the Apes is definitely NOT haywire, is what I'm saying.

      Delete
    3. 2001 Ape Eagle

      the worst type of eagle there is

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  23. HEATH HOLLAND!!! You are funny!!

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  24. All of these comments either made me smile, laugh out loud, or think about how nice Mark Ahn's feet are. Go team!!

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  25. Review Jack And Jill.
    Yes, the Adam Sandler film.
    Yes, I want you all to suffer for the amusement of your fanbase.

    And then, I'd like to see you review either The Galaxy Invader, Black Ninja, or Flyin' Ryan, or any combination thereof.
    But hey, that's just me, anonymous contributor. Do what you'd like.

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    1. Here you go, Anonymous:
      http://comedians.about.com/od/moviereviews/fr/Jack-And-Jill-Movie-Review.htm

      Delete
  26. I'd be curious if anybody in the crew would be game enough to watch 1985's "The Legend of Billie Jean" starring Helen Slater, Christian Slater (no relation), Peter Coyote (naturally) and Keith Gordon. It's a total slice of 80's cheese that somehow (mostly thanks to using Pat Benatar's 'Invincible' as its theme song) seems a lot deeper, slicker and better than it actually is. It's an early Guber-Peters and Rob Cohen production that seems to be aping, half-heartedly, the then-new Simpson-Bruckheimer packaging technique of young stars, cool soundtrack and teen-friendly storyline about sticking with one another against 'the man,' PG-13 style. Did I mention Helen Slater swims in a tiny string bikini?

    It's available on YouTube in ten 10 min. parts starting with Pt. 1 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sJPgzBtE14&feature=related. No Netflix, Amazon or even DVD I'm afraid. Hey, if Doug claims he watched the first half of Bay's "Pearl Harbor" during lunch at wor... home, while eating lunch at home (on a weekend I'm sure), then somebody at 'F This Movie' must be crazy enough to give this a shot. After all, you guys claim that YOU'LL WATCH ANYTHING! :-)

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    1. OMG, dude, my ex-wife (every good story starts this way) adored The Legend of Billie Jean because apparently it came on HBO alot in the 80s. She showed it to me, and man, that movie was rough! I remember a chase scene in a mall set to Billy Idol's Rebel Yell. Am I making that up, or is that in the movie?

      Delete
    2. The only thing I remember from that movie is Yeardley Smith getting her period in the back seat of a car and being pretty excited about it. And, of course, that we will be invincible.

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  27. I dont like this game. It is making me realise how incredible mainstream my film tastes are.
    The most obscure films I can think of that may be news to other people are the films of Taika Waititi. "Eagle vs Shark" and "Boy".

    Both very enjoyable, fun and thoughtful.
    Best way to describe them: childhood/fairytale view of the world smashed with often vicious reality.


    Oh, and there is also Black Dynamite. But I gotta get back to the hood where I come from.

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  28. I really like Eagle vs. Shark! I should seek out this Boy of which you speak.

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    Replies
    1. Damn me and mu dodgy disapearing replies (grumble, grumble, grumble).

      Apparently, while Boy came out over here in 2010 it is only being released in the US next month. Be sure to keep your eyes open for it. I prefer EvS but Boy is still a lot of fun.

      Delete
  29. My picks for the F This Movie'ers:
    Patrick - Hocus Pocus
    Doug - Fish Tank
    JB - The Room
    Erika - Dogfight
    Mark - Any other Audrey Hepburn movie since you like Charade
    Eric - I Heart Huckabees or Inland Empire
    Alex - Seven Pounds (he liked WWWest after all)
    Mike - Episode I in 3D

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    1. These are not "picks." These are "prison sentences."

      Delete
    2. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087065/

      Cloak & Dagger (1984)

      Henry Thomas' follow up to ET.

      I loved this movie as a kid!

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    3. Fricking love Cloak & Dagger. I wanted to be that kid so badly.

      Adam - I have seen a lot of Audrey movies; I think my favorite one that doesn't always get a lot of press is "Wait Until Dark."

      JM - The Wong movies are definitely in the queue.

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  30. I saw Cloak and Dagger when it was first released. It is much better than it has any right to be. A very interesting Dabney Coleman performance, if I am remembering the film correctly. The kind of kids movie we need more of!

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  31. Mr. Vargas Charles Laughton actually stole the idea from JB. You see in 2015 JB will notice a Delorean left outside of Cafe 80's and travel back to 1955. Charles Laughton will then notice JB's dope knuckle tattoo and will want to use it in his movie. I know this because JB let me borrow his Gray's Movie Almanac from 2015.

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  32. I'd love to see you guys brave something from the later years of Mae West's career.

    Forget The Human Centipede and A Serbian Film.
    The massively infamous Hollywood set-comedy "Myra Breckinridge" from 1970 is worse. Far,far worse.

    Only in Hollywood could gender reassignment surgery turn Rex Reed into Raquel Welch. Oh,there's also an 80 something West as a casting director who uses her job to seduce studs. And? She has a disco number. See John Huston as a dirty old movie cowboy! Thrill to the vapid debut of Farrah Fawcett! Blink and miss Tom Selleck as a young stud! Shriek in horror as Laurel and Hardy (via old clips) watch Myra..well. You'll have to learn about that yourselves.
    Truly has to be seen and survived. I know you can make it through every horrific moment.


    Or 1978's "Sextette"- West is a newlywed trying to have a sexytimes honeymoon with Timothy Dalton..only to be interrupted by her past lovers. There's also a clean cut Alice Cooper as a helpful piano playing bellboy.
    Yes,really.

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  33. I didn't think I'd be able to come up with anything interesting for this but then I remembered a great little comedy I stumbled on one Sunday afternoon that most of you may not have seen - it's an Aussie flick called "The Castle" and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a good laugh!

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