Friday, July 13, 2012

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (July 13)

What are you waiting for? BUY YOUR DIE HARD TICKET(S) NOW! We only need four more people to confirm this event with Tugg. So do it already! Come out to the movie, we'll get together, have a few laughs...

Why Stop Now
Release date: Aug. 17, 2012

So what is this? Is it a fun, farcical romp, full of clever quips (mostly from Tracy Morgan, sorry -- SPRINKLES) and hi-larious misunderstandings? Or is it a serious, insightful "slice-of-life" drama, full of sage insights (classic Sprinkles) and dangerous encounters with drug dealers? I don't even think directors Phil Dorling and Ron Nyswaner quite know. The poster leans towards the former, while the "Official Selection Sundance Film Festival 2012" title card is decidedly the latter. So confused. So sleepy. So ... scared!

William Shatner's Get a Life!
Release date: TBA

I'm surprised it's taken Captain Kirk 26 years to capitalize on his appearance in this famous SNL skit (fun fact: it was written by Bob Odenkirk and Judd Apatow!). I'm further surprised because his new documentary doesn't seem to be breaking any new ground previously covered by the likes of Trekkies and The Captains. However, the Star Trek fan universe is vast, and I'm sure there's plenty of room (and dollars) for another entry. Good luck, Shat!

The Loneliest Planet
Release date: Oct. 26, 2012

My wife has a big [confounding] crush on Gael Garc├Ča Bernal. That is all.

Here Comes the Boom
Release date: Oct. 12, 2012

So now Doug Heffernan is a dramatic actor-cum-MMA fighter? Is this Kevin James' Reign Over Me moment? Could this movie be the Happy Madison (second week I've typed that!) version of Warrior? Except in Warrior, when a teacher got his butt kicked in a strip club parking lot cage fight, it was, you know, FROWNED UPON. I guess if it's for the benefit of the kids, anything goes. I can't help but feel that James, while not without his charms, is being jammed down our throats by Hollywood Sam Worthington-style.

Sleepwalk with Me
Release date: Aug. 24, 2012

This looks great! Everyone should see this, because Mike Birbiglia is very funny! Yay!

Fun Size
Release date: Oct. 26, 2012

Quick story: I actually met the director of this movie, Josh Schwartz, at Goodbar (now closed [thankfully, as it was a SHITHOLE]) in Chicago about six years ago. Schwartz, who at the time was famous for creating The O.C., was there with his girlfriend (now wife), who was in the same sorority (don't judge) with my then-girlfriend (Doug Getz Aroundz!). We were there for some stupid birthday party, and I wasn't drinking. I was miserable, hated nearly every person in the place and desperately wanted to leave. The idea that a major television producer might be there softened the blow, but, really, what the F would I say to the guy? Turns out, a whole lotta nonsense! When Schwartz and his ladyfriend finally showed up, my then-girlfriend introduced us, awkwardly said something about how I "was interested in movies," and walked away. Now, I will give her (may she rest in peace) a little credit, as she sincerely thought I could strike up an interesting conversation with a real Hollywood heavyweight. Unfortunately, she was wrong. I asked him what he did. He responded, "Writer" (clever girl). He asked what I did. I told him I worked at a third-party not-for-profit public safety testing agency (which was true!). I then proceeded to (I'm assuming) BORE HIM for about two minutes (felt like 10) with all the "interesting" (read: boring) nuances of my day-to-day work/life in a cubicle. Seriously! You know -- really interesting smalltalk for a multimillionaire. He was polite and gracious throughout the entire conversation, although, really, he had nowhere else to go, as he knew even less people at the party than I did. Nevertheless, I blew it big time. I didn't even get a second chance to pitch him my Glee (drama club substituting for glee club) meets Freaks and Geeks ('80s Apatow-ian relationship dramedy) TV pilot idea! And now it seems so stale! Arrrgh! If I had played my cards differently, who knows? Maybe I would've been "Chuck Bass" on the WB's Gossip Girl. BIBLE!


  1. Oh my gosh - I am laughing so hard right now. I never got the details of your conversation six years ago (not sure why I did not press you at the time! Haha! I always bug you with questions!), but the wait was worth it.

    Also, can you tell me if my hair dryer is safe?