Friday, September 28, 2012

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Sept. 28)

This is the last WEB post for September, which means our next entry will officially kick off #ScaryMovieMonth! I get SHIVERS down my spine just thinking about it! What a TREAT! Those last 11 months DRAGGED, right? Of CORPSE they did. To get up-to-speed with all the WICKED activities we have planned, please read "Your Scary Movie Month Primer." We hope you're able to join us for the SPOOK-TACULAR fun! Don't be intimidated by the STIFF competition in the Scary Movie Challenge thread -- everyone should particiPUMPKIN. Step up to BAT, boys and GHOULS. WITCH scary movie should you watch? All of them! No BONES about it! GHOST of a chance! GOBLIN up the competition! WEREWOLF DRACULA BOO BERRY! Heh-heh ... mummies.

Release date: Nov. 2, 2012

I will totally see this, despite the fact that the preview is totally stupid. Directed by Amy Heckerling (European Vacation, Look Who's Talking Too, Loser), Vamps feels like the latest WB dramedy. Like a reboot of Charmed. And who doesn't love Charmed? This guy, that's who. REGARDLESS, I'm a fan of most of the actors (it's nice to see Alicia Silverstone getting some work this millennium), the vibe is fun and light, and #ScaryMovieMonth needs something playful like this, if only to break up masochistic viewings of the Saw sequels. But does anyone else think Sigourney Weaver should stop doing cameos in horror/action/sci-fi movies? We get it. You were Ripley. Have some dignity, woman!

The Collection
Release date: Nov. 30, 2012

Let me get something straight ... this comes out a month AFTER Halloween? I mean, yeah -- sure. Nothing says scary like post-Thanksgiving Christmas shopping, amIrightladies? From what I can gather, The Collection is about a Jigsaw-type murderer who lures young revelers into his hip industrial raves, then mows them down with complicated gardening equipment. Just like in Caligula. Is that about right?

Release date: April 12, 2013

I know, I know ... but not every trailer can be for a scary movie, guys. Technically, it's still September! Anyway, here is the great-looking preview for 42, the first film in a LONG time (In fact, the only other biopic I can think of is 1950's The Jackie Robinson Story) about this genuine American legend. I love a good sports movie, and a baseball film costarring Han Solo is right up my alley. I do take issue, however, with the Jay-Z track, "Brooklyn Go Hard," playing in the background. Jay-Z is featured in all sorts of movies these days -- which is totally fine -- but when it seems out of place, like in a period piece (say, the 1940's crime noir trailer for Gangster Squad), it always gives me pause. I just feel like we're going to look back in 10 or 20 years and say, "Gee, [insert any current film title here] would've been a timeless piece of art, except for the inclusion of Lou Bega's 'Mambo No. 5.'" I'm also bummed that Chadwick Boseman, the actor who plays the eponymous Jackie Robinson, is billed SIXTH on IMDb. White people ... is there any legend we won't take credit for?

Promised Land
Release date: Jan. 11, 2013

This looks serious. Thoughtful and well-acted and beautifully shot by Gus Van Sant, but serious. It also looks like the inevitable dramatization of the documentary, Gasland, which I've never seen (but maybe Erika has [she loves her docs]?). I was waiting for the scene in which water from a tap catches fire, but instead John Krasinski just torches a farm diorama. ROMNEY'S AMERICA, EVERYBODY.

Release date: TBA

Screenplay by the Coen brothers? I guess that's enough, because YIKES. Very British. Maybe I'm being harsh. After all, Gambit costars Colin Firth, Stanley Tucci and Alan Rickman, all of whom are the best. So if you can stomach both Cameron Diaz's VERY poor southern accent and a bunch of HILARIOUS misunderstandings, then you should have no problem.

Liz & Dick
Release date: Nov. 3, 2012

Yeah, I know it's a TV movie on the Lifetime channel. SORRY. Just like the time I featured Drew Peterson: Untouchable (remember how hilarious that trailer was? Fast forward to September 2012: Drew Peterson is found guilty of murdering his third wife. Now who's laughing?), this project has a lot of BUZZ behind it. Because Lindsay Lohan. Remember when Ms. Lohan was a genuine talent? With charisma and warmth and gravity? Barely, right? Le sigh.


  1. Vamps: Why didnt you come out in 1997, I would have loved you then.

    The Collection: Kevin McCallister is all grown up.

    42: This bound to make white folks feel good about themselves for a while, The Help 2.

    Promised Land: Hopefully its a tad more subtle than this trailer suggests.

    Gambit: This looks like it could be very good.

    What Im Watching Now: Fiddler on the Roof.

  2. I thought that "Liz and Dick" movie might turn out okay if the actor playing Burton was good, but both performances look terrible. What a shame, because the story of their relationship really is a fascinating one.