by Adam Riske
If you haven’t seen it, here are 15 reasons you should watch Bloodsport this month for Junesploitation. You could check it out for '80s Action day (today), Free Space day or Revenge day! It’s a perfect movie.
15. Because kumite tournaments are unspeakably charming. Every time I go on a business trip, I whisper “kumite” in a local’s ear secretly hoping that I will be escorted to one. Like raves, my friends at home are worthless when it comes to locating kumites.
Enemies Closer, Hard Target, Nowhere to Run, Sudden Death, Universal Soldier, Universal Soldier: Regeneration and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning.
13. In a flashback, young Frank Dux is wearing a San Francisco Giants baseball cap and a New York Giants football jersey. Kid loves giants! It’s among the stupidest things I’ve ever seen in a movie.
10. “This is the biggest kumite ever. We got fighters from all over.” – Mr Lin (played by Ken Siu). It’s time to protect your nuts is what I’m saying. Okay, USA?
9. At the kumite, there are random stacks of bricks available just in the off chance someone has to Dim Mak to prove that Tanaka is their master.
8. A kumite montage set to “Fight to Survive” by Stan Bush!
5. If you close your eyes when the crowd chants “Chong Li! Chong Li! Chong Li,” you could mistake them for saying “Bromley! Bromley! Bromley!”
4. Play Where’s Waldo? and find Mark Ahn.
1. To honor your shidoshi.
Wait, you need more than #0: Because it's awesome?ReplyDelete
You don't need more than that but I'm trying to win over the converts more than the congregation.Delete
Bloodsport fucking rules - it was a frequent 12-Year-Old-Guys'-Night-In choice back in the day. Your column just made me order a Bloodsport/Timecop double-feature blu-ray because fucking right it did.ReplyDelete
It's also in my go-to stack of movies I watch with a friend of mine whenever one of us gets dumped. It's a healer.Delete
Ha! I can see that - "I'm glad she's gone - otherwise I probably wouldn't be watching Bloodsport right now!"Delete
Had no idea that BD existed, Sol, and this dude's getting his DVDs upgraded in the VERY near future. Rock on!Delete
I'm glad you put out this list, because everyone should see this movie. This came out when I was about 9 or 10 and I watched the crap out of this movie for the next several years. Although I then went on to watch this as a companion piece to Kickboxer, which I'm sad to see is not on your list of JCVD favorites.ReplyDelete
I've seen Bloodsport more times than Kickboxer, but I don't count either of them among my favorite Van Damme movies. I think it's because I'm not big into the competitive fighting subgenre. But this list makes a compelling argument. #DuxFuxReplyDelete
"Frank Dux? You mean like put up your Dux?" I love that line.ReplyDelete
I don't think I've scene Bloodsport in at least 10 years. Now I remember why I need to revisit this as soon as possible. You'll be hard pressed to find better BWAAAAAA faces than Van Damme's in this movie..ReplyDelete
I laughed out loud at nearly every reason. This article is the best. Bloodsport rules!!!ReplyDelete
Fuck yeah!ok usa 😬🖒ReplyDelete