by Adam Riske
Early into Unfinished Business, I sent Patrick a text message. It read “I’m 15 minutes into Unfinished Business...I want to jump off a mountain.” At times this movie is so bad it’s almost like a personal affront by the filmmakers on the audience. It’s a terrible movie – boring and without a single laugh. There’s nothing worse than sitting in a theater watching a comedy where every joke dies on screen. It’s a depressing experience. I watched this movie feeling bad for everyone involved. I wish I could have walked out of Unfinished Business.
A small-business owner (Vince Vaughn) and his two associates (Tom Wilkinson and Dave Franco) travel to Germany to close a crucial deal for their fledgling company. Mayhem ensues.
What the hell happened to Vince Vaughn? Just a couple of days ago, I re-watched Swingers and he seems like a completely different actor in the nearly 20 years that have elapsed. Vaughn was once peppy, funny and charming; now he just comes across as bored and almost unwilling to be funny. He seems more concerned with hitting character and story beats as opposed to landing jokes. I think he might have taken critics (of his rapid-fire dialogue shtick) too much to heart in the past few movies because now he wants to be this sensitive, softy man and it’s a bad look for him. It feels disingenuous. Well, at least he landed True Detective. Maybe a dramatic role will shake him out of the doldrums for a while. His co-stars, Tom Wilkinson and Dave Franco, don’t come off much better. Wilkinson seems embarrassed to be in the movie and does the bare minimum. Franco is playing a really odd (possibly mentally challenged) character that grows tiresome very quickly. Franco’s character’s name is Mike Pancake. This is an example of Unfinished Business’ humor. It’s as lame as the mustache jokes in Mortdecai (a movie I did walk out of).
There’s no sense in belaboring this review any further. Nothing works in Unfinished Business. It’s lazy and stupid with low energy and no style. The movie is so bad that it’s not even a comedy (like Tower Heist, for example) where it’s at least a passable diversion despite not having any laughs. This thing isn’t even watchable. It’s a sad waste of time where I sat dumbfounded that the talent involved was incapable of making something better than what was put up on screen. Humor is subjective, but I can honestly say that I can’t imagine anyone who would enjoy Unfinished Business.
Chappie is sounding better and better.ReplyDelete
Also, I'm really at a point where I want to skip almost anything that has Vince Vaughn in it, which is a shame, as you pointed out.
I liked Chappie for the most part. It's really derivative and sort of odd in tone but the action is good and I thought it was entertaining.Delete
I think you should package your comedy reviews as a recurring feature called "Comedies Hate Adam."ReplyDelete
That's a good idea. I miss funny comedies.Delete
You mentioned early on that you wished you could've walked out...what kept you from doing so?ReplyDelete
To write the reviewDelete
maybe you should do a review series of bad movies where the "score" the movie gets is how many minutes you were willing to suffer before you left.Delete
You must have skipped over the part where he mentioned gratuitous nudity. ;)ReplyDelete
This makes me sad. Not that I expected it to be great, but how many people are working in hollywood who are incapable to delivering the bare minimum?
Don't get down, Adam. In a few weeks you might be reviewing Get Hard.ReplyDelete
I'm hoping that one's funny. Please be funny, Get Hard.Delete
I would have loved if I clinked on the link to open the article and the only words for the review were "The Worst." I 'm with you - what the hell happened to actual funny comedies?!ReplyDelete
Don't hold back Adam, tell us what you really think ;)ReplyDelete
Brilliantly entertaining review. I do love you seem to get the highest percentage of Turkeys, your dead on about Vince, I haven't like him in a long long time, to much Vincyness maybe?
So...better or worse than The Internship?ReplyDelete
The Google advert is better than this, damn, the bar just got lowered even moreDelete
A problem is a chance for you to do your best. See the link below for more info.ReplyDelete
My wife brought it home from Red Box without knowing anything about it. Maybe 10 minutes into it I looked at her and said, this is going anywhere for me. She agreed but we stuck with it awhile longer. Then the German road trip came and it went from slow to torturous. Finally we looked at each other and have up. Did they get the sale? I don't care. Did the old guy get his dream divorce? I don't care. Did the kid's character ever make sense? Did his son find peace in the private school? Did he come home to find that his daughter had killed his wife and son just before introducing him to Misters Wesson and Smith, then burning their house top the ground? I don't care, but I kinda hope so.ReplyDelete
It was the worst film I've seen since Xanado.