Monday, July 6, 2015

Riske Business: Franchises I Would Like to See Revived

by Adam Riske
We’re usually dubious about sequels and reboots. However, here are 10 I think could still work.

1. Beverly Hills Cop – As long as it’s not Eddie Murphy. Put Jerrod Carmichael in there. He needs a star vehicle. But here’s the spin: he’s a cop from Beverly Hills and he has to go to Detroit. Boom! And he’s a big pansy who has to learn to be tough on the mean streets of Motown.
2. Friday – Just so you could call it Last Friday. I keep waiting for Last Friday. Get it? The title has a double meaning. I want to see what Ice Cube, Chris Tucker and Tiny Lister’s characters are up to these days.

3. House Party – You really mean to tell me that no African American teenagers have thrown a party since the 1990s? Please.
4. Jaws – It doesn’t have to top the original. Nothing could. You just have to make a good Jaws sequel. People still love sharks. There’s a whole week dedicated to them for crying out loud. Set it in North Carolina and you’re good to go. Cast Jude Law and Jennifer Lawrence so you could put on the poster JLAW...JLAW...JAWS!!!

5. Major League – If ever there was a sports movie rife for a modern day update, it’s this one. Steroid jokes, huge contracts, the corporatization of the sport etc. The possibilities are there.

6. The Mighty Ducks – Hockey is big again (at least in Chicago), so make another Mighty Ducks with a new cast. And have the kids curse a lot like in the original The Bad News Bears.
7. The Mummy – Too fun of an idea to sit on the shelf. Put Chris Pratt in it and he’s off the hook having to fill Harrison Ford’s shoes as Indiana Jones.

8. Nightmare on Elm Street – Make one more with Robert Englund reprising his role as Freddy (make him old Freddy…I dunno) but the twist this time is that the entire movie is one long nightmare sequence. The opportunities for creativity are endless with the right director.

9. Rush Hour – Jackie Chan’s Det. Lee is retiring from the force and Chris Tucker is there to throw him a retirement party. Triad nonsense ensues and Van Damme is the villain. Sounds trite, I know, but I just want any excuse to wash the bad taste of Rush Hour 3 from my mouth and see another pairing of this duo together. They are very charming playing off one another.
10. Universal Soldier – I know that the franchise is healthy in its current state on DTV and VOD starring Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, BUT there’s a chance to really make some great action movies in this franchise theatrically. Just think about it. In the span of just one more awesome movie (released in theaters) we could be saying that Universal Soldier has surpassed Terminator on the whole, which was unthinkable in 1992. Cast Dwayne Johnson or Vin Diesel and roll the dice, yo.

Do you agree/disagree? What franchises would you like to see revived?

36 comments:

  1. Another Beverly Hills Cop is likely. Unfortunately, I'm afraid we'll be stuck with a new Eddie Murphy Beverly Hills Cop. The long gestation period for a new Beverly Hills Cop has me fearful as to what the result will be, in whatever form it takes. First it was going to be a movie directed by Brett Ratner, then a t.v. series, and now what it'll be is anyone's guess.

    I'd love to see another Friday, as long as Chris Tucker's in the cast and everything gels well. I was not particularly a fan of the sequels we got, so unless all concerned can catch lightning in a bottle a second time, I'm not exactly anticipating another one.

    A House Party remake could be interesting. The reason we haven't gotten one yet probably rests on movies like Project X not doing well at the box office.

    To the best of my knowledge, I think Spielberg has a cease and desist order on any JAWS remake. I could be wrong, but I think that's why we still haven't seen one of those. Have we seen any Spielberg film remakes, for that matter? I think Steven has put his foot down. Unless this new Indiana Jones reboot movie turns out to be a full out remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I highly doubt.

    A new Major League movie would be interesting. A new Mighty Ducks is already being planned. If it's successful, I have no doubt a new Major League would follow.

    A new Mummy movie is coming as part of Universal's new Monster Cinematic Universe, and I am dreading it. I'm dreading it even moreso after watching Dracula Untold and realizing Universal has decided, quite late in the game, in fact, that to save money on making another Dracula picture, Dracula Untold is the new official jumping off point of that cinematic universe. Sigh.

    Nothing would please me more than to see Robert Englund come back as Freddy, but it seems that ship has sailed. Robert has commented on how he feels he's way too old to deal with the makeup process, and has done two convention stints in the makeup to kind of say farewell in style. I think Platinum Dunes hates how the remake turned out as much as most people. I have more faith in a new Platinum Dunes Friday the 13th than a new Platinum Dunes Elm Street.

    Your idea for a new Rush Hour is appealing, and I agree completely that it would erase the memory of Rush Hour 3 from all our minds if it was handled well. And yet instead of that, Rush Hour has turned into an upcoming CBS series, ala Martial Law, and Jackie and Owen Wilson are reteaming for another Shanghai Noon sequel. I can't seem to wrap my head around it all.

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    1. "Dracula Untold is the new official jumping off point of that cinematic universe."

      Yes, they jumped right off the cliff with that better left untold Dracula.
      I´m curious if this Monster Universe is still a thing at Universal, after pushing "The mummy" to 2017.

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  2. I would have preferred an honest to God non-Arnold Terminator remake, perhaps with Dwayne Johnson in the starring role, than what we just got.

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  3. Major League could most definitely work! When was the last time there was a comedic sports movie? I'm drawing a blank.

    I don't think Houseparty could work. Part of the greatness of Houseparty was that people were going to the party with the sole purpose of dancing, I don't think kids go to casual house parties to dance these days and they definitely aren't breaking out dance routines for battles. Plus, I would not be able to sit through an entire movie having to listen to Drake and Nicki Minaj. And how would they handle Bilal getting his turntable bumped? I don't think you can bump mp3's. Now, if you set the new Houseparty back in the days? I'm in.

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    1. Was the Bad News Bears remake the last attempt at a comedic sports movie? Was it even comedic? I'm drawing a blank.

      Yeah, doing a House Party remake as a period film is probably the only way it could work. Unless it was set in the present and the party was centered towards the retro 80s - 90s.

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    2. Tin Cup was the last one I could think of but there MUST be more recent ones, right?

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    3. Dude, I don't even think I knew that Bad News Bears remake existed - and it's directed by Linklater?!

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    4. I own it but I haven't seen it since it came out.

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    5. There have been some more recent sports comedies but they've been pretty forgettable (Grudge Match, Playing for Keeps, Whip It, Leatherheads, Semi-Pro).

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    6. And The Bad News Bears remake is the worst :-(

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    7. Oh, geez, no wonder I couldn't think of any recent sports comedies! So what is the last decent to good one? Was "Draft Day" a comedy?

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    8. That's a great question about Draft Day. I'd lean towards it being a light drama over a comedy. I have it at home and I categorize my collection. I'm eager to see where I put it (ugh..at work now).

      I like Grudge Match more than I should but that aside I think the best sports comedy of late is Blades of Glory and that was back in 2007.

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    9. I thought DodgeBall was pretty funny. And as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that movie is 11 years old.

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    10. I was pretty sure I had the Bad News Bears remake but I guess I don't. And just when I'm curious enough to see it again, too.

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    11. And wasn't Fever Pitch the last somewhat "comedic" baseball movie to come out in the last ten years?

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    12. Gotta be, I can't think of any other Baseball specific ones.

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    13. There is no laughing in baseball. What's the last good basketball movie? I'd say there are really only 2 great ones: Hoop Dreams and Hoosiers. Although I do love White Men Can't Jump.

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    14. That's not bad. I still have love for Above the Rim and Blue Chips eventhough I admit they're not great movies. Can you consider Teen Wolf a basketball movie? Win in the End is still the greatest song during a basketball montage.

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    15. Above the Rim is good. Blue Chips is very quotable ("Get the hell outta here, Ricky!"). I would consider Teen Wolf a basketball movie for sure.

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  4. Put Jennifer Lopez in the Jaws movie too

    JLaw JLaw and JLo in new Jaws movie, who wouldn't pay to see a shark take a chunky bite out of J'Lo's chunky Bum, it's worth doing for that shot alone :)



    :)

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    1. Chunky-bum-chum?

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    2. I know you all visualized that Big olde plump round ass as she bends over on the boat in a bikini as Jaws jumps out the water and takes a big bite out of it, That concept would sell the film

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  5. I'd like to see a new Tremors movie with the original cast and new updated Grabiods, faster and bigger

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  6. Props on "JLAW . . . JLAW . . . JAWS!" I made a fool of myself laughing really loud at the office.

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  7. No Zorro?! I admit, however, that due to the low-key Old California setting, crafting a movie-sized Zorro story is difficult as hell (there's just not much there!). I actually wouldn't mind a future/dystopic Zorro update, as has been done before in animation.

    I still want to see a good Weird Science movie. "Magical genie babe teaches young boys how to be confident and flirt" is a great setup, but in the Hughes flick confidence is achieved with guns and intimidation, while the flirtation part is pretty much skipped over entirely.

    I'd love to see not a remake of The Mummy, but a new movie using The Mummy's playbook: new heroes, new villains, only the 1930s setting. Speaking of 1930s adventure movies, can this rumored Lara Croft reboot please take place in the '30s? Computers and archaeology just don't mix well. Also, speaking of Lara Croft reboots, can future Lara Crofts please look to fellow women for romantic partners? Don't be trashy or winking about it; just give us a badass heroine who just happens to have to rescue a damsel of her own. (And, yet, if Universal brought back Fraser and Weisz and their kid from Returns (not the Dragon Emperor guy, thankyouverymuch, for a third movie redo, I would totally be the first in line for that.)

    Finally, I would love to see more Muppets classic literature movies, though I confess I don't have a slam-dunk idea of what to do next. The Odyssey? Some kind of Hercules movie? Too bad John Carter's been tainted. A shot-for-shot Psycho remake, starring Fozzie Bear as Norman Bates? ("We all go a little mad sometimes... wocka wocka!")

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    1. "Psycho Muppet. Qu'est-ce que c'est?"

      The Mask of Zorro is full of charm and charisma, and the practical effects were great. Would be great if that magic could be recaptured.

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    2. There were some emails included in that big Sony hack between Sony and Quentin Tarantino concerning a possible adaptation of the Django Meets Zorro comic.

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    3. Universal has been developing a hard R Weird Science remake since 2013, written by Michael Bacall, produced by Joel Silver.

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    4. The trouble with Zorro is that once the Americans move in (about a decade after Mask ends, a development acknowledged in Legend), Zorro pretty much becomes instantly obsolete, as we Yanks never had a swordsmanship culture. Also, Mask is so magical in large part because the story is so dramatic, and it derives said drama from utterly ruining the last third of the original Zorro's life. Just imagine if DC put out a movie where Bruce Wayne loses his wife and daughter and gets locked up for twenty years in the first ten minutes - there'd be riots and blood on the floors of the Cons...

      (Guns: the single worst thing to happen to storytelling until cell phones.)

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  8. I'd like to see the Dirk Pitt franchise revitalized. I liked Sahara (2005) quite a bit and many of the Dirk Pitt books have Indiana Jones/James Bond like potential. Anyone agree?

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    1. It's been awhile since I saw it, but I remember liking Sahara. I think it'd be cool if they made another movie.

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  9. With a just few tweaks in the script, THE BABADOOK could have been a serious, character-based NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET sequel. Switch out "Babadook-dook-dook" for "One, two, Freddy's coming for you," and you're pretty much there.

    Could it be possible to revisit THE SHADOW? Yes, he's similar to Batman, but he can turn invisible, he uses guns, and he's done awful things in his past that he's atoning for. That could make him different enough from ol' Batty boy to get another (less campy?) movie.

    Stallone's still rocking it in THE EXPENDABLES and Kurt Russell rocked it in the last FAST AND FURIOUS, so where the heck is our TANGO AND CASH reunion?!?

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    1. Oh my gosh YES. Give us more Tango and Cash!

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