Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz's GOODNIGHT, MUMMY (2015, theater) for the first time.Matriarchal "This Boy's Life" goes for jugular.
Ridley Scott's PROMETHEUS (2012, Blu-ray).Ridley forgets how to ride "Alien" bicycle.
John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN (1978, DVD).Start of Michael Myer's profitable Uber career.
Sorority Row (2009)A body went into the plot hole!
Southern Comfort (1981)Sonsovagun have to run in the bayou.
The Shining (1980)Nicholson's eyebrows go crazy before he does.
The Invisible Man (1933)With great power comes great responsibility. Nah!orNot a single girl's locker room scene?(Sorry for deleting so many comments lately. Forgive me, Patrick)
Diary of the Dead (2007)Yes, we get it. They're still us..................
Starry Eyes (2014)I don't like when the girl's bald.
Thinner (1996) Wanted whole movie with the lizard man.
Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? (1962)She went f’cking nuts, bro.
Wes Craven's New NightmarePulls back curtain on Robert Shaye's chin.
Return Of The Living DeadPreppy actors playing punks battle zombies. Brains!
Contracted (2013)Maggots only drop Najarra to an eight.
Starry Eyes (2014)I get it, that’s how scientology works
Halloween 6 The curse of Michael MyersWet Cold American Fall, its still Raining!
OrLoomis's Scars have Disappeared,Please spell Kontinuittyy....
The Keep (1983)Deep within The Keep, there is something.
Slugs (1988)"Was the SyFy Original around in 88?"
Scarecrows (1988)"Scarecrows are always scariest with night-vision goggles."
Parents (1989)"Hey ma! Can we get some meatloaf?!"
These Final Hours (2013) Little girl is fifth horseman of apocalypse.
The Mist (2007)Religious zealot makes monsters look quite appealing.
The Fury (1978)De Palmas heads explode years before Cronenbergs.
Baby Blood (1990)Bloodthirsty parasite compels gap-toothed brunette to kill.also:Its French. Its disgusting. Its something else.
Halloween II (2009)Even after that stabbing...is he dead?
The Evil Dead (1981)Harryhausen probably shit himself at the ending.
The Stuff (1985)"Who spiked the Cool Whip with cocaine?"
Head of the Family (1996) Secret inspiration for Luc Besson's The Messenger?
The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972) - The Camera's Broken! The Director's On Meth!
The Devil's Rain (1975)Travolta a Satanist? What happened to Scientology?
The Boy (2015)My decision not to have kids: reinforced.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)Top Google result for 'banjo man dog'.
The Strangers (2008)Preferable to Steven Tyler being your father.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)Freddy of all trades, master of none.
Friday the 13th (1980)YAY! SHE SURVIVED! for like two months.
The Woods (2006) Shouldn't "fire crotch" be considered a compliment?
The Andromeda Strain (1971)Outbreak?! Who'd Gwyneth Paltrow do this time?
Devil(2010)Satan doesn't like to take the stairs
Christine(1983)This car takes shit from no one.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984 Dir. Wes Craven)Nancy's giant zit resurrected on glorious blu-ray!
The Frighteners (1996)Jeffrey Combs steals the movie, as usual.
Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors (1987)Still would chance it with "tongue nurse"
Martyrs (2008)Would've been shorter to say: Don't torture
Misery(1990)Psychopath causes oogie mess for dirty birdy
Ravenous (1999)Halfway through and sad it's almost over.
The House That Dripped Blood (1971)Ironically, not a single drop shed onscreen.
Crimson Peak (2015)Those Sharpe siblings are up to something.
ScreamCampbell wins gold medal in Skeet shooting.
Scream 2The scariest college experience since student loans.
Scream 3Comparatively the opening scene was just Weary.
Scream 4I met a movie that knew itself.
Witching and Bitching (2014)This plays at every men's rights convention.
The Crazies (Eisner, 2010)Fears of Iowa AND car washes justified. (also)Guilt in watching this before the original.
The Gift (2015)Pretty good even without Katie Holmes' boobs.
Invitation to Hell (1984)ALL MY CHILDREN FOR FORTY FUCKING YEARS!!!
Spontaneous Combustion (1990)Could greatest Tobe Hooper apologist love this?
Masque of the Red Death (1964)Good sell Vincent, im becoming a Satanist
Cannibal Holocaust (1979)Surprisingly funny satire of Nat Geo documentaries.
Spring (2015)Girlfriend turned into a monster. Been there.
Idle Hands (1999)Satan gives Sawa a mediocre hand job.
Psycho II (1983)Perkins makes Norman Bates a real person.
Inside aka À l'intérieur (2007)French birth comes with buckets of blood
The Blood Lands (2014)We're not killing you, just moving you.
Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz's GOODNIGHT, MUMMY (2015, theater) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteMatriarchal "This Boy's Life" goes for jugular.
Ridley Scott's PROMETHEUS (2012, Blu-ray).
ReplyDeleteRidley forgets how to ride "Alien" bicycle.
John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN (1978, DVD).
ReplyDeleteStart of Michael Myer's profitable Uber career.
Sorority Row (2009)
ReplyDeleteA body went into the plot hole!
Southern Comfort (1981)
ReplyDeleteSonsovagun have to run in the bayou.
The Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteNicholson's eyebrows go crazy before he does.
The Invisible Man (1933)
ReplyDeleteWith great power comes great responsibility. Nah!
or
Not a single girl's locker room scene?
(Sorry for deleting so many comments lately. Forgive me, Patrick)
Diary of the Dead (2007)
ReplyDeleteYes, we get it. They're still us..................
Starry Eyes (2014)
ReplyDeleteI don't like when the girl's bald.
Thinner (1996)
ReplyDeleteWanted whole movie with the lizard man.
Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? (1962)
ReplyDeleteShe went f’cking nuts, bro.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
ReplyDeletePulls back curtain on Robert Shaye's chin.
Return Of The Living Dead
ReplyDeletePreppy actors playing punks battle zombies. Brains!
Contracted (2013)
ReplyDeleteMaggots only drop Najarra to an eight.
Starry Eyes (2014)
ReplyDeleteI get it, that’s how scientology works
Halloween 6 The curse of Michael Myers
ReplyDeleteWet Cold American Fall, its still Raining!
Or
DeleteLoomis's Scars have Disappeared,
Please spell Kontinuittyy....
The Keep (1983)
ReplyDeleteDeep within The Keep, there is something.
Slugs (1988)
ReplyDelete"Was the SyFy Original around in 88?"
Scarecrows (1988)
ReplyDelete"Scarecrows are always scariest with night-vision goggles."
Parents (1989)
ReplyDelete"Hey ma! Can we get some meatloaf?!"
These Final Hours (2013)
ReplyDeleteLittle girl is fifth horseman of apocalypse.
The Mist (2007)
ReplyDeleteReligious zealot makes monsters look quite appealing.
The Fury (1978)
ReplyDeleteDe Palmas heads explode years before Cronenbergs.
Baby Blood (1990)
ReplyDeleteBloodthirsty parasite compels gap-toothed brunette to kill.
also:
Its French. Its disgusting. Its something else.
Halloween II (2009)
ReplyDeleteEven after that stabbing...is he dead?
The Evil Dead (1981)
ReplyDeleteHarryhausen probably shit himself at the ending.
The Stuff (1985)
ReplyDelete"Who spiked the Cool Whip with cocaine?"
Head of the Family (1996)
ReplyDeleteSecret inspiration for Luc Besson's The Messenger?
The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972) - The Camera's Broken! The Director's On Meth!
ReplyDeleteThe Devil's Rain (1975)
ReplyDeleteTravolta a Satanist? What happened to Scientology?
The Boy (2015)
ReplyDeleteMy decision not to have kids: reinforced.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
ReplyDeleteTop Google result for 'banjo man dog'.
The Strangers (2008)
ReplyDeletePreferable to Steven Tyler being your father.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
ReplyDeleteFreddy of all trades, master of none.
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDeleteYAY! SHE SURVIVED! for like two months.
The Woods (2006)
ReplyDeleteShouldn't "fire crotch" be considered a compliment?
The Andromeda Strain (1971)
ReplyDeleteOutbreak?! Who'd Gwyneth Paltrow do this time?
Devil(2010)
ReplyDeleteSatan doesn't like to take the stairs
Christine(1983)
ReplyDeleteThis car takes shit from no one.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984 Dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteNancy's giant zit resurrected on glorious blu-ray!
The Frighteners (1996)
ReplyDeleteJeffrey Combs steals the movie, as usual.
Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors (1987)
ReplyDeleteStill would chance it with "tongue nurse"
Martyrs (2008)
ReplyDeleteWould've been shorter to say: Don't torture
Misery(1990)
ReplyDeletePsychopath causes oogie mess for dirty birdy
Ravenous (1999)
ReplyDeleteHalfway through and sad it's almost over.
The House That Dripped Blood (1971)
ReplyDeleteIronically, not a single drop shed onscreen.
Crimson Peak (2015)
ReplyDeleteThose Sharpe siblings are up to something.
Scream
ReplyDeleteCampbell wins gold medal in Skeet shooting.
Scream 2
ReplyDeleteThe scariest college experience since student loans.
Scream 3
ReplyDeleteComparatively the opening scene was just Weary.
Scream 4
ReplyDeleteI met a movie that knew itself.
Witching and Bitching (2014)
ReplyDeleteThis plays at every men's rights convention.
The Crazies (Eisner, 2010)
ReplyDeleteFears of Iowa AND car washes justified.
(also)
Guilt in watching this before the original.
The Gift (2015)
ReplyDeletePretty good even without Katie Holmes' boobs.
Invitation to Hell (1984)
ReplyDeleteALL MY CHILDREN FOR FORTY FUCKING YEARS!!!
Spontaneous Combustion (1990)
ReplyDeleteCould greatest Tobe Hooper apologist love this?
Masque of the Red Death (1964)
ReplyDeleteGood sell Vincent, im becoming a Satanist
Cannibal Holocaust (1979)
ReplyDeleteSurprisingly funny satire of Nat Geo documentaries.
Spring (2015)
ReplyDeleteGirlfriend turned into a monster. Been there.
Idle Hands (1999)
ReplyDeleteSatan gives Sawa a mediocre hand job.
Psycho II (1983)
ReplyDeletePerkins makes Norman Bates a real person.
Inside aka À l'intérieur (2007)
ReplyDeleteFrench birth comes with buckets of blood
The Blood Lands (2014)
ReplyDeleteWe're not killing you, just moving you.
Idle Hands (1999)
ReplyDeleteSatan gives Sawa a mediocre hand job.