The Exorcist (1973)Crucifixes, now available ribbed for your pleasure
Last Shift (2014)Rookie hazing in this precinct gets serious.
Sinister (2012) No James Ransone undressing and masturbating? BummerorWhats so fucking difficult switching lights on?
Tusk (2014)Douchebag podcaster HOLY SHIT record scratchFish
A Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)I'll watch this until I like it. OR Even worse when watched with ear infection.
Dead of Night (1945)Ghosts and dummies and Britains, oh my!
Alone In The Dark (2005)The title sums up Uwe Boll's career
Demons (1985)Even goopier than its pornographic counterpart, "Semens."
Wake Wood (2011 Dir. David Keating)Even the Irish need a pet sematary.
Suspiria (1977)Who ordered all this dang piano wire?!
SuperstitionAnyone want to jump in death pond?
Blood Glacier (2013)Definitely blood coming out of that glacier.
Knock Knock (2015) Dear Eli Roth, please stop making movies.
Things (1989) Dir. Andrew JordanMight be the most bonkers film ever!
They Live (1988)Could war be replaced with epic fistfights?Cheating follow up:If so, I'll join the army tomorrow.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)Why's this baby in my slasher movie???
The Others (2001)The kids probably just needed sun screen.
Trick or Treat (1986) Can't write review. Too busy head banging.
Crimson Peak:Things women endure to sleep with Hiddleston...
City of the Living Dead (1980)Kinda tedious... OH THAT ENDING!!! LOVE THIS!!!
Murder Party (2007)Hipsters getting murdered and maimed...I'm in!
House of Frankenstein (1944)Wolfman curse makes Larry a chick magnet.
Crimson Peak (2015)Roof broke? I'll play this one out
Bone Tomahawk (2015)Troglodyte kidnapping? Glad I brought my flask
Bone Tomahawk (2015)Shows what made frontier life so hard.
Lair of the White Worm (1988)That is pretty much how Europe is.
The Possession (2012)Sure, blame the Jews. That's a first.
Prometheus (2012)Before aliens bursted chests, they sucked ass.
Halloween H20The Blackest eyes are now brightly lit!
The House On The Edge Of The Park (1980)I humbly suggest a new sub-genre: Hessploitation
The Gift (2015)Guess some people can't take a joke.Or Rhys Darby sure has a dark side.
Evil Dead II (1987)Attempted tree rape becomes head on collision.
Cat People (1982) Can't transform into cat without convoluted backstory.
Human Centipede: Final Sequence (2015)The most degrading movie Bree Olson's made.
The Sentinel (1977)Burgess Meredith gives a good cat party.
Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)Damn. Geena Davis stole my Halloween costume.
Wendigo (2001)This is why you shouldn't hit deer.
A Nightmare on Elm Street with commentary by Wes Craven, Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon, and Jacques HaitkinThis laserdisc commentary is 20 years old.
Fright Night (1985)Evil Ed: most annoying side character ever.
Night of the Lepus(1972)Mutant Killer Rabbits Kill the population....adorably
Thirst (2009)It's ok, he once shared his cake.
The Devil's Advocate(1997)Stars Pacino and Connie Nielsen's Boobs
Better one(with seven words this time)- Lead roles: Pacino and Connie Nielsen's Boobs
28 Days Later(2002)Comatose Sheriff awakens to apocalypse....oh wait
So that would have Connie Nielsen's bra in a supporting role? And...Bad Dreams (1988)Strange Dean Cameron prequel to Summer School.
Army of Darkness (1992)No tree rape. Increase of skeleton boners.
Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy Turns out it was all a dream.
Sleepwalkers (1992) Twin Peaks: Fire Cat Walk With Me.
Dracula (1931) - EnglishWant an abbey? Show me the Carfax.
Dracula (1931) - SpanishTCM Presents: A longer and worse movie.
House of Wax (1953)Price's facial hair is magnificent!!! Oh, no...
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)Jason looks up at the buildings. Tourist.
Child's Play 2 (1990)Brighly coloured factory curiously arranges inventory labyrinth.
Pieces (1982) I think my brain's in pieces now.
Re-Animator (1985)The most fun I've had all month.
Scream (1996)Twists, turns, and clues; better every view.
The Last Witch HunterIt is not the worst witch movie.
Season of the WitchThis one is the worst witch movie.
OculusWhy does Starbuck always die? Poor Starbuck
Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)Hero's mission: Bury Army of Darkness skeleton
Halloween 2 (1981)Made me cry blood tears of joy
Killer Mermaid (2014)Avoid siren's song and skip this garbage.
Demons 2 (1987)It's Italian horror's own Home Alone 2.
The Guest (2014)Slapping your face with John Carpenter's dick.
Starry Eyes (2014)No casting couch. More like casting sacrifice.